Lincoln-juice
by Thefoxmage
Summary: Lucy learns a new incantation from an online friend, resulting in a visit from the ghost with the most. When an attempt to remove the poltergeist from their home goes awry, a certain young man becomes possessed. Will the two be able to live with each other? Will the Loud Sisters find a way to save their brother? Focusing primarily on the Beetlejuice cartoon instead of the movie.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: One of the shortest chapters of a story I ever wrote, this chapter is more to see if anyone wants to see a Loud House/Beetlejuice crossover. If so, I will be more than happy to continue the story for as long as I have ideas for the characters (and they will all be longer than this chapter if I can help it). Here's hoping you enjoy the story._

* * *

Chapter One

It was early in the evening at the Loud's residence in Royal Woods, Michigan, and Lucy Loud was sitting in her older brother, Lincoln's, room. Why? She needed to borrow his laptop. She had recently joined Headspace with the rest of her siblings and had started chatting with a new friend she had met there; LyDe Darkness. Being the somewhat over-protective parents they were, Rita and Lynn Sr insisted that the young goth have one of her older siblings with her when she talks to this stranger online. Her choice was an easy one; Lincoln. He was a little more relaxed than most of the older sisters, especially after he saw that they mostly chatted about ghosts and the paranormal. After a few chats which seemed pretty harmless and convinced Lucy wouldn't go giving away personal information, the white haired loud backed off a little, watching her from his bed while he played video games or read comics. This evening, he was doing his homework while Lucy (as GriseldaFan666) was chatting away with LyDe Darkness in the HeadSpace chat window.

GriseldaFan666: So, LyDe, you say you've really befriended a ghost?

LyDe Darkness: Sure have. We've been friends for a few years now.

GriseldaFan666: What are they like?

LyDe Darkness: Well, he's a real handful, let me tell you. You got to keep an eye on him at all times, or he'll pull a fast one. But by the same token, he's really funny too, and he has a caring side to...hidden really, really well. Lol

GrisedlaFan666: Heh. Sounds interesting. How do you call upon him? A seance? An ouija board?

LyDe Darkness: Oh, nothing like that. I have a special incantation that can bring him to our world.

GriseldaFan666: Can you teach this incantation to me? Please?

LyDe Darkness: Sorry, Gris. It would be far too risky.

"Sigh…" Lucy groaned in a disappointed manner as she typed in a pleading please into the chat window. When her friend didn't respond, she became quite disheartened. "And here I thought she was one I wouldn't scare away…."

"Something the matter, Lucy?" Lincoln asked, a sympathetic look on his face.

"Nothing you need to worry about, big brother…" She replied in her usual monotone. "I'll be alright." Lincoln looked at her with a raised eyebrow, uncertain if he should take that at face value. However, he gave her the benefit of the doubt and returned to his homework. Lucy was about the close the program when she sudden received a new message from LyDe Darkness. And another. And another. Each one seemed to be the line of a special chant. Lucy grinned widely as she quickly wrote down the four stanzas of the spell and typed in a hasty thanks before she ran off to her room.

"Huh? Lucy, you forgot to..." He tried to say, but she was already gone. Wondering what got her so excited, he goes after her. Meanwhile, a few new messages appear on the chat.

LyDe Darkness: What the…?  
LyDe Darkness: Gris! Don't do it!  
LyDe Darkness: Don't summon him!

LyDe Darkness: Gris?

LyDe Darkness: Oh no….

"Lucy, what was that all about?" Lincoln asked as he looked into the room Lucy and Lynn shared, frowning a little. Lynn wasn't there, since she was sleeping over with some of her teammates. Lucy, however, was wearing her fortune telling hat and sitting within a circle of candles.

"I am about to summon a long dead spirit with this chant I just learned." Lucy explained as she read over the words carefully.

"...Lucy, are you sure that's a good idea?" Lincoln asked, pretty worried, but at the same time skeptical. "I mean, if you got that from your HeadSpace friend, how well do you even know them?"

"Her name is Lydia, she is interested in the paranormal and photography, she has a step mother and a father, and she attends an all girls school a few states down." Lucy counted off, getting a surprised look from Lincoln. "It's all on her page."

"Well, you don't know if any of that is true...and the same goes with this chant you say you got from her." He said, trying to dissaude her.

"Then why don't you help me, Lincoln?" She asked. "If it doesn't work, then you were right. If it does, then you can keep me safe, and meet a real ghost at the same time." She grinned a bit at him as he thought this over. True, as an ARGGH! fan, it was a dream of Lincoln's to find a real ghost. And it was his duty as an older brother to protect his little sister. Still, something about this didn't feel right to him. Why would a random girl on the internet (if she even was who she said she was) give another random girl on the interest a spell to summon a ghost? It made no sense. However, he kept coming back to the meet a real ghost issue, and Lucy's excited look, and he decided maybe he could humor Lucy this time. If it didn't work, he would at least be in a position to say 'told you so' (which didn't happen often with him).

"Alright, Lucy. You twisted my arm…" He said, trying to hide his own excitement as he sat down within the circle.

"Excellent. Now let's see….." She looks over the words one last time before she set the paper down and took a deep breath:

"Though I know I should be wary

Now I venture to someplace scary

Ghostly hauntings I turn loose

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!"

The moment Lucy finished the incantation, the window in her room opened suddenly and a burst of wind blew through the room, putting out all the candles.

"Gah!" Lincoln cried out as the room got a little darker than usual. Lucy, on the other hand, was glancing all around like a little child looking for Santa on Christmas morning. However, there appeared to be no one else in the room, living or dead. Her smile started to fade. She couldn't feel the chill of a spirit in the room, nor even feel their presence. She slowly lowers her head to the floor, looking positively crushed.

"You were right, Lincoln…." She said, fighting back tears, though it was impossible to see behind her bangs. Her older brother felt a pang of guilt and sadness as he heard the bleakness in her voice, which made him reach out to touch her shoulder.

"I'm sorry it didn't work, Lucy...it's just you can't always trust what people say onliiiiiiii….." He started to say, but his sentence froze in his throat as he looked behind her. He had a look of abject terror on his face.

"Very funny, Lincoln…." she growled, feeling a bit offended now.

"Lu...lu….lu…." He stammered, his face going pale as he pointed behind her. Lucy's frown slightly faded. Lincoln wasn't this good an actor. Something was really scaring him, but what? She turned around just in time to see a tall, pale man rising through the floor. He had messy yellowish green hair, dark patches around his sunken eyes, red finger tips, and disgusting green teeth. He was wearing a two piece, black and white striped suit, black boots and a black tie. In a few seconds, he had full risen into the room, grinning down at them in a manner that reminded Lincoln a lot of Luan on April Fools Day.

"Iiiit's showtime!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Lincoln and Lucy stood stock still in the presence of this ghastly intruder, Lincoln from fear, Lucy from shock. He grinned down at them for a few more seconds before his amusement turned to mild annoyance. He leaned over and waved his hand in front of their faces. "Hello? Anyone home?"

"W….w….who are you….?" Lincoln finally found the courage to ask, stepping in front of Lucy.

"Name's Beetlejuice. How ya doing? My card." The ghost replied in a fast, faux polite voice, materializing a business card out of nowhere to hand to Lincoln. Written on it were the words 'Beetlejuice: Ghost with the Most'.

"You...you're a real ghost?" Lucy asked in wonder.

"Yeeeeeee-nope! I'm an eye scream man." In a flash, his suit changed to that of a modern ice cream man, holding a cone in his hand. "Of course I'mma ghost, kid!" He handed the ice cream cone to Lincoln. "Here, kid. Free sample." The young boy looked down at the cone and was disgusted to see an eyeball staring back at him. The moment their eyes met, the eye screamed in his face, making him drop the cone.

"Gah! I thought you said that was ice cream!"

"No I didn't. I said 'eye scream'." He replied with a laugh, disappearing in a puff, a bat, a tin can and a worm before reappearing right beside Lucy. "Dumber than advertised…" He whispered to her, pointing at Lincoln.

"That's my brother you're talking about…." Lucy deadpanned in a tone that was almost disapproving.

"Brother? Yer kidding me…" Beetlejuice said, looking between the two with disbelief. "You don't look a thing alike." The ghost snapped his fingers, Lincoln suddenly donning his goth get up from when Lynn Jr moved into his room. "There. Now I see it." The one son was clearly unamused, unlike the jesting spectre who was laughing it up. Even Lucy had giggled ever so slightly. Just then, there was a pounding at the door. Beetlejuice took this as a sign and made himself scarce just before Lori barged it, looking upset.

"Alright! What's all the screaming about!?" She demanded to know, her fists on her hips.

"Lori! We accidentally summoned a real ghost!" Lincoln said frantically, running up to Lori. "He's this tall, with green teeth, a black and white suit and offensive body odor!" He rapidly explained, while speaking with his hands as well. "And..and...and he seems to have reality bending powers!" The eldest Loud sister just looked down at Lincoln for a moment with a dumbfounded expression, then burst out laughing. "...what's so funny!?" Her only brother asked, slightly offended.

"Hahahahaha you, Lincoln! You're telling me that you and Lucy actually summoned a ghost here? And wearing that get up besides?" Lori rationalized as she held her sides, laughing it up. "Whew...thanks bro. I needed that laugh. But keep it down, okay?" She said, wiping away a tear of mirth before departing. Now Lincoln was mighty perturbed, his hands clenched into fists.

"If it's any consolation, you look good." Lucy told him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"It doesn't help….but thanks anyway." Lincoln grumbled. "We better go find that jerk before he gets anyone else…"

"How are we going to find him?" Lucy asked. "He could be anywhere in the house."

"I have my ARRGH ghost hunting kit in my room. Just give me a bit to get it and get changed." He said, rushing off toward his bedroom. Lucy just stood there, starting to question her brother's sanity a bit if he thought toys would really help them find a ghost.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Lori and Leni's room, Leni was brushing her hair in front of her vanity mirror when Lori returned, still giggling a bit. "Hey sis. What's so funny?"

"Oh, Lincoln and Lucy were just trying to convince me that they really called a ghost here."

"Hehehe. Oh, that Lincoln. You never know what he'll do next." Leni giggled as she continued to brush her hair. She took a closer look at herself and her smile vanished. "Wow...I need to, like, get out in the sun more. I look really pale…" Lori glanced over at her dimmer than average sister, tilting her head.

"Really? You don't look pale to me."

"I look pale in the mirror…" Leni said sadly, pointing at her reflection. "And those rings around my eyes...I need to get more sleep…." She added, noting the dark circle around her eyes (though not really noticing how they weren't there before). "...and my…...EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!" She screamed, covering her mouth in fear.

"Wha!? What is it!?" Lori asked, thrown into a state of panic.

"My teeth! They're all crooked and green and yucky looking!" A distraught Leni wailed before fleeing from the room. "MOOOOOOOOOM!" Lori just stood there, rolling her eyes as she looked at the door, not noticing that Leni's reflection was still there.

"Leni, you are an enigma…" She said quietly to herself as she shook her head.

"I dunno. She seems pretty easy to figure out to me." The Leni in the mirror commented.

"Yeah, well, you are her, so your opinion in biased." Lori retorted before she turned back to her bed. "Wait….did I just have an argument with someone else's reflection?" She does a double take, seeing the second oldest sister's mirror image waving at her. "But….but..how is that possible!?" She asked, dashing over to the mirror to make sure she wasn't really losing her mind. The moment she did, the image contorted into a gruesome, twisted resemblance of her dead sister: her eyes were bugging out, her teeth sharpened into fangs, her tongue became long with green and black stripes, and her skin became deathly pale. The mirror monster Leni roared while Lori screeched in terror before passing out.

"Haaaahahahahahahahahaha!" The creature laughed before morphing back into Beetlejuice. "Ah...nothing like taking a moment to reflect on a job well done. Hehehehe." The mean spirited spirit chuckled as he faded from existence just as Lucy and Lincoln arrived on the scene, the middle Loud decked out in his ghost hunting gear and back in his original clothes.

"Looks like we just missed him…." Lucy sighed as she checked on Lori, who was still trembling in spite of unconsciousness. "...he got her good."

"According to my official ARRGH specter tracker, he's headed out toward the backyard…" Lincoln said, fiddling with the little plastic device in his hands.

"Lincoln, with all due respect, your tracker is a toy...the odds of it actually tracking a ghost is…."

"Waaah!" Lana gasped from the back of the house, getting the attention of the two hunting Beetlejuice.

"You were saying…?"

"...maybe it's time for Mom and Dad to try the lottery…" Lucy mused, following her brother as he charged out of Lori and Leni's room.

* * *

Moments earlier, Lana was playing with Charles and El Diablo in the backyard; chasing them around and generally having a good idea. Not suspecting for even a moment that she was being stalked. However, she was given a clue when she noticed something casting a shadow over her. Curious, she turned to see what it was, coming face to face with a massive, black and white striped alligator, baring its teeth at her. "Wow! I've never seen a gator like you before!" She said excitedly, catching the long mawed monster by surprise. "Where'd you come from? You lost, boy?" She asked, hopping around him to look at him from all angles. The monster croc shook his head to clear it and snapped at the tomboy twin. Lana lept back by instinct, grinning. "Oh, you wanna play! Great! I've been wanting a sparring partner!" She crouched down and started to circle the gator like they were engaged in a wrestling match, further confusing the strange reptile. Before he could make a move, Lana pounced. A dust cloud was kicked up as the two wrestled around in the backyard. The fight only lasted a few seconds, Lana having the beast hogtied in nothing flat. "Hehehe. A new personal record." She commented. "And the biggest gator I ever wrestled too." She held her fists up in victory, unaware of the reptile's legs melting away and the rough scales turning smooth and slick, A soft hiss snapped her out of her victory, causing her to look up at the giant, hooded serpent gazing at her like she was a snack. "Whoa! A shape changing gator! Awesome!" The cobra struck, wrapping the little Loud in his coils. "Waaaah!"

"I gotcha now…" The snake hissed.

"Wanna bet!?" Lana grinned as she slipped right out of his grasp.

"What!? How did you….?" Now it was Lana's turn to strike back, tackling the monster snake right to the ground. The two wrestled and rolled around in the grass for a little while until they ended up rolling right into Lana's favorite mud hole. Lana slowly rose from the muck, followed by Beetlejuice, both dripping with mud. They looked at each other for a moment before they burst out laughing.

"That was the most fun I had in a long time!" Lana admitted, rolling in the mud giggling.

"Hahahahahaha! Ya know what? Yer alright, kid. What's yer name?" BJ asked, pulling a worm from the sludge.

"Lana Loud. Who are you? And are you gonna eat that?"

"Beetlejuice, the ghost with the most. And yes." He answered, popping the worm into his mouth.

"Aww...I needed a snack after that…" Lana sighed, not even questioning the fact he said he was a ghost.

"Hehehe. You got chops, kid." Beetlejuice said, a pair of mutton chops growing on Lana's face. "Tell ya what. When your time comes…" He creates a business card from nothing and hands it to her. "...look me up. I'll teach you the ropes of the afterlife." In a flash, Beetlejuice was suddenly wearing a sailor suit, sitting on a stool while fiddling with a rope. "With my tutorage, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it." He quipped, revealing that he made a noose from the rope. Lana was almost breathless with laughter, finding the prankster poltergeist hilarious. The back door was suddenly kicked open, causing Beetlejuice to pop from existence again, leaving Lana by herself when Lincoln and Lucy came outside.

"Lana, have you seen a strange man in a black and white suit, bad teeth and a perchance for puns?" Lucy inquired as Lincoln checked the area with his tracker.

"Yeah. He was just here. That guy was a scream!" She said, still chortling uncontrollably.

"Did you see where he went?" The mud loving little girl shrugged, grinning widely. "Dang it…"

"I think I got a bead on him...he's back inside….on the second floor….in Lana and Lola's room."

"Lead the way, big brother." Lucy said, following him back into the house, leaving Lana in the mud puddle.

* * *

"Gorgeous. It's as simple as that." Lola said with a smile as she focused on her reflection in her full length mirror. "That's the look of a winner. The Royal Woods Miss Glamorous Pageant is as good as mine. The future is looking bright for you." She told herself, puckering her lips as if she were applying lipstick.

"You think so?" Mirror Lola replied, still holding the same pose Lola was in. "Well, let's have a look, shall we?"

"Huh?" The beauty obsessed Loud was thrown completely off as her image started to grow. She was as tall as Lynn, her hair hanging down to her knees. She was still wearing the pink pageant gown, but more the size of a teenager. And by the look of it, she was more developed than Lynn, Luan and Luna were.

"Looks like puberty's gonna be kind to you." Mirror Lola commented, spinning a bit so young Lola could see her from all angles.

"Woooow! I didn't think it was possible, but I look even more beautiful!" The prissy Loud was positively spellbound by her older self.

"You think that's something, kid, let's see how you look as a grown up." The other Lola grew a few more inches, going from teenhood to adulthood. Lola's mouth hung open. She looked absolutely perfect; like the princesses in her story books. "Hmmm. Not bad, huh?"

"That's an understatement! I am glorious!"

"Glad you think so, because this look is high maintenance."

"Don't I know it." Lola commented with a chuckle.

"You gotta keep up the image of the hourglass figure…." Adult Lola's already trim figure seemed to shrink, becoming almost skeletal. Lola's smile faded slightly. "And unless you want the stress induced wrinkles of pageant life to destroy you…" Her mirror image's face started to shrivel a bit and become very wrinkly. "...yer gonna need expensive botox injections…."

"Uh….I think I've seen enough…." Lola gulped, her knees shaking a little.

"But I haven't even gotten into tanning. Gotta look like a bronzed goddess, after all...and look what that does over time…" Mirror Lola's skin became tanned, but rough and leathery. Lola had tears in her eyes as she looked at what she thought was her possible future self. "And would you believe, deary…." She looked down at the real little girl with a twisted grin full of green teeth. "I'm only twenty four!?" Lola's screech was enough to completely shatter the mirror before her, the little princess running out of the room crying her eyes out. Her mirror double remained in the shards of the mirror, laughing like a witch before they fused together into the form of Beetlejuice.

"Lola? What's the matter?" Lincoln asked as Lola ran right into him in the upstairs hall, throwing her arms around him.

"L...Linky! I saw my future self! I was so pretty and perfect, but then, I became an UGLY OLD WITCH!" Lola bawled, burying her face into Lincoln's chest.

"Lola...Lola...sshhhh….don't cry...what you saw wasn't real…." Lincoln told her.

"I dunno, kid. I've seen plenty of ex beauty queens in the Netherworld." BJ said, snickering cruelly as he floated from her room. "Though, personally, I think they look better on the other side. Hehehe." Lincoln glared at the ghost before him.

"It's one thing to mess with me, but no one, living or dead, messes with my sisters!" Lincoln yelled, pulling his ARRGH ghost trap from his pack and throwing it under Beetlejuice.

"Huh? What's this? A Ghostbusters crossover all the sudden?" He asked, almost insulted by what he saw.

"Lola, let him have it." Lincoln said, holding the trigger down where she could reach it. Lola glared at BJ before she slammed her fist down on the button. The trap sprang open, a powerful force pulling the poltergeist toward the trap.

"What the…..? AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!" The filthy ghost wailed as he scratched at the walls and carpet, trying to pull free. "What a world! What a wor-" He started to say before the trap snapped shut on him.

"We got him!" Lincoln cheered, pulling Lola into a hug in celebration.

"It's kind of a shame...but he had to be stopped." Lucy commented in a monotone.

"What's going on out here?" Luna asked, poking her head out of the room. "What's with the noise?"

"Noise..?" Lucy questioned, looking back at her rock and roll sister.

"We just caught a real, honest to goodness ghost." Lincoln declared.

"And hopefully, he stays there!" Lola shouted, kicking the trap.

"You got a ghost in there?" The third oldest sister asked, walking over to them as Lincoln retrieved BJ's prison. "Are you sure?"

"Well, yeah. We all saw him get sucked inside." Lola said.

"Maybe you better check, bro. Just to make sure." Luna suggested. Lincoln thought about it for a moment, and thought it sounded reasonable. He held the trap close to his face and carefully tried to lift one of the little flaps for a peek. Luna grinned a bit as he did so, revealing some green, crooked teeth.

"Lincoln, no!" Lucy 'yelled', but it was too late. The moment Lincoln peeked inside, a ghostly hand reached out, grabbed him by the collared and pulled him inside. The trap bounced and thrashed around like a fight was happening inside.

"Ouch! Ow! Hey! Help!" Lincoln grunted, gasped and cried out from inside the toy trap. Second later, a misty phantom emerged from the mouth of the trap, dusting itself out and floating off looking all indignant. Lucy ran over to open the trap, revealing the bruised and somewhat squished face of Lincoln, who was sporting a black eye. Just then, Luna started laughing.

"Luna! That's not funny! Lincoln's really hurt!" Lola scolded her.

"Whoa, sorry dude. I don't know what…." Luna suddenly lost consciousness as Beetlejuice rose from her body. "...possessed me to do it." He concluded in Luna's voice before laughing again.

"...you're sick…" Lucy grumbled as she tried to help Lincoln out of the trap.

"Thank you!" BJ grinned as he took a bow for his performance. "You've been a beautiful audience. I'll be here all week." He vanished once more, leaving behind his signature cackle.

"Darn you, Beetlejuice." Lincoln grumbled.

"Ugh! His name is Beetlejuice! Disgusting!" Lola covered her mouth, on the verge of being sick.

"I guess my trap didn't work as well as my tracker…." Lincoln sighed, looking at his cherished item from his favorite show.

"it worked, alright…." Lucy told him, patting him on the back. "Beetlejuice is just an incredibly strong spirit…"

"Ugh….what happened…?" Luna asked, holding her head as she sat up.

"You were possessed….what did it feel like, by the way?"

"...I feel like I need to take several showers…." Luna shuddered a bit before excusing herself to the bathroom.

"So what now?" Lola asked the two most experienced with the supernatural. "How do we get rid of that guy?"

"I have no idea…" Lincoln admitted, covering his bruised eye.

"I could probably perform an exorcism, but that would take time to set up…" Lucy said, looking up toward the attic.

"You go get started on that, Lucy. Lola, come with me. We're going to have a little chat with Lisa." Lincoln said, taking his little sister's hand. "Hopefully she has a solution to our little problem." The two of them went to the room Lisa and Lily shared, while Lucy climbed up to the attic, closing the trap door behind her. The moment the hallway was clear, Luan peeked out from her room, a mischievous grin on her face. She slyly stepped out, carrying a bucket from the bottom, and moved over to Lynn and Lucy's room. While she was getting her prank set up, a certain ghost was watching her from across the hall.

"Ooh. A fellow prankster." BJ muttered, grinning as he pulled out a little basket of crickets. "And she's bringing out a classic too. This oughta be good." He popped some bugs into his mouth as Lynn stepped onto the top landing. Luan had just ducked back into her room, which was mighty suspicious to anyone in the Loud House. Rolling her eyes, the sporty Loud glanced up at her door.

"Luan, you are seriously running out of ideas…." She grumbled.

"What do you mean, dear sister of mine?" Luan asked, so obviously playing innocent that it made Beetlejuice cringe.

"This is the oldest joke in the book." Lynn told her, pulling a step ladder from the corner of the hall.

"Ah, I hate it when they catch on…." BJ groused, vanishing his snack. Luan, on the other hand, was still grinning as her sister reached for the pail. The moment it was moved from the door, the bottom of it came off, dumping its contents onto Lynn Jr.

"Well, I guess I can't fool you. The bottom's really fallen out of the prank business." Luan quipped before laughing. Beetlejuice held his hand to his mouth as her snickered.

"Why you…" Lynn made a move to get off the ladder, but her foot slipped like it were covered in soap. She flipped into the air and landed on her butt on the carpet. "Ow! Did you put soap in that!?"

"Nothing wrong with a little good, clean fun." She joked, laughing once more at her own joke.

"Hahahahahahaha! Good one, little lady." Beetlejuice said, floating over to the two.

"You stay out of this…" Lynn growled, trying to get to her feet. "When I get my hands on you, Luan…."

"Ah, you're all wet, ponytail…" BJ retorted, getting another laugh from Luan.

"You listen here, rat's nest. This is family business! So why don't you take your cheap suit and get lost!?"

"Whoa...that's cold, kid. Why don't you just...chill!?" He pointed his hand at her, a beam of ice shooting at her, freezing Lynn from the neck down in a block of ice.

"H...hey!" She gasped, struggling to get free.

"I'd like to side with you sis, but it was rather rude to give him the 'cold shoulder' like that." Luan joked.

"So why don't you move along? Yer 'block'ing traffic!" He said, kicking the block down the hall into Lincoln's room where it crashed into the wall. Both Beetlejuice and Luan were laughing their heads off after that. "I like yer style, miss."

"Likewise. What's your name, stranger?"

"Beetlejuice, the Neitherworld's greatest prankster."

"Luan Loud, clown extraordinaire." The two of them shook hands, Luan shocking BJ with a hand buzzer. He reacts in an over the top way, his whole body going charcoal black before sprinkling away, leaving just a skeleton.

"Well, no bones about it. You're good." He jested, making Luan laugh again. "Well, if we're done ribbing your sisters, I'mma head downstairs and see if I can send some shivers down some spines."

"See ya later, Mr Juice." Luan said with a wave as he phased through the floor.

* * *

"So...allow me to get this straight…" Lisa said, pinching the bridge of her nose as she had just heard her only brother and beauty obsessed sister tell her about Beetlejuice. "...Lucy, having received a poem from a girl she had met on social media, enlisted your aid in attempting to make contact with the afterlife. In doing so, she conjured a spirit by the name of Beetlejuice, whom you claim has been plaguing our family all evening. And now you are asking me if I have any method of restraining, trapping and containing this spectral rapscallion?"

"That's about the size of it." Lincoln confirmed, though he had to admit that it sounded pretty strange coming from her.

"The fact that you think that I would believe this story, Lincoln, is an insult to my intelligence." Lisa suddenly said in a voice most harsh, looking quite angry. "As well as the fact that you think I would waste my precious time and resources manufacturing equipment to combat ethereal beings that, and I REALLY need you to follow me on this one, DO NOT EXIST!"

"But it's true, Lisa!" Lola snapped, her temper at an all time low.

"I would strongly recommend, in future, you save this form of poor humor for Luan, or for someone who can appreciate it more, such as Lucy, and cease wasting my time." Lisa snapped back (albeit more calmly) before she returned her gaze to her work station.

"Well, now what, mister 'Man with the Plan'?" Lola asked Lincoln derisively. He thought for a moment, then had an idea.

"Lisa…"

"I have no further interest in hearing your nonsense any further, Lincoln. See yourself out immediately." Lisa said coldly.

"...your cameras." Lincoln finished his thought, getting the little genius to slowly look at him.

"What about them?"

"If you look in the footage of the hall cameras a few minutes ago, you'll see Beetlejuice for yourself." Lincoln explained.

"...you're really not going to let this go, are you?" The frustrated little scientist asked.

"Listen, Lisa. Check the cameras. If I'm wrong and there's nothing there...I will submit myself to whatever experiment you wish willingly for an entire month. No complaints and no questions asked." Lisa's eyes widened as she heard him make that offer. This wasn't something Lincoln would do lightly, and she knew it.

"And, in the highly unlikely chance that I am mistaken…?"

"Then we will need your help to stop him." Lincoln answered. Lisa considered his offer for a brief moment. She certainly had more to gain from this deal, so why not.

"Very well, dear brother. I will humor you for now." She turned to her computer and started to review the hallway footage.

"Right about there, when Lola came crying to me." Lincoln told her, Lisa slowly the video down to real time. A couple seconds in, the beetle eating wraith floated into the hall from Lola's room, causing Lisa's jaw to drop.

"What….? But…..how? It can't….That's…...Is that….?"

"Beetlejuice." Lincoln responded with a nod. The stunned little four year old just stared at the screen for a moment before she regained her composure and looked apologetically at the two of them.

"My sincerest apologies, elder siblings, for not believing you right away. I suppose once more, I am forced to face something science cannot explain."

"What was the first time?" Lola asked curiously.

"The existence of Santa Claus, though I admit that was one of the times I can say I am happy to be proven wrong." Lisa elaborated upon. "But enough of that. I don't have anything that can possibly trap him, but I could formulate a method of restraining him. It should be a simple matter of adjusting my tesla cannon to the spirits wave length…"

"...why do you have a tesla cannon?" Lincoln asked nervously.

"Why do you collect comics? We all have our hobbies." Lisa answered with a slightly superior tone.

* * *

"Leni, sweetie, I promise you, your teeth are fine." Rita explained to her borderline hyperventilating daughter. She had ran down to her a few minutes prior, crying hysterically as she tried to explain what she had witnessed moments ago. She patted Leni on the back as she led the frantic young lady to the nearest mirror. "See for yourself." The simple sister was hesitant, but with a little coaxing, her mother convinced her to take another look. To her surprise and relief, everything she saw was as it should be.

"My teeth...my face….it all looks like it used to…"

"You see, dear." Rita said with a smile, moving in to join her by the mirror. "You look beautiful."

"Yeah, but you could use a little work, lady." Came a rough voice from the mirror. The Loud mother blinked and looked at her reflection. Everything looked as it should.

"Leni, did you hear that?"

"That wasn't you…?" Leni asked fearfully. It was then they smelled something rather foul. They slowly looked back. Standing behind them was a sauve looking gentleman with slicked back, dirty green hair, a blood red jacket, black pants and a black beret.

"I mean, just look at your hair, madam." He said in the cheesiest of french accents.

"Who are you and what are you doing in our house…?" Rita asked, reaching for a nearby vase to smack this intruder with.

"I am Monsieur LeJuice, Hair dressuer extraordinaire!" He replied. "And madam, if I may, with ze right hairstyle, you could look positively manifique!" He added with a kiss to his own fingers as if he were describing a delicious dish.

"Oh! A french stylist in our own home! How lucky!" Leni chirped.

"Leni...call the cops…." Rita quietly said to her daughter when LeJuice descended upon her and, in a whirl of red, black and white, started to work on her hair. Within seconds, Rita's hair had become shiny, golden and set as a sort of top knot.

"Ah. Another masterpiece." LeJuice declared.

"Wow! That looks great, Mom!"

"Leni, don't encourage him. He broke into our….hey, this does look lovely." Rita commented as she saw herself in the mirror.

"Oui oui. It is the same style I used for my best customer, Miss Mae."

"Mae?" Rita asked, noticing the knot in her hair was moving. She and Leni suddenly scream as her hair became a knot of yellow snakes. The two ran for their lives as LeJuice cackled cruelly.

"Oui. Mae-Dusa!" He called to them before vanishing.

"Get them off me!" Rita cried, pulling at the writhing mass on her head. "Get them off me!" The hair of snakes came off easily, revealing it was a wig of real serpents. She hurled the den of vipers aside before they could bite her.

"Mom! Leni! Are you alright!?" Lincoln asked as he and Lola quickly climbed down the stairs.

"This french hair dresser gave Mom a do full of snakes." Leni explained while her mother tried to regain her composure.

"He struck again…." Lincoln growled.

"Mr LeJuice? You met him too?"

"His name is Beetlejuice, Leni. He's a ghost."

"I don't care who he is...I'm calling the police on him!" Rita said, picking up the receiver of an old black rotary phone on the coffee table.

"Wait...was that always there?" Lincoln asked as his mother dialed 911.

"Hello, 911, what is the nature of your emergency?" Came the gravelly voice of the operator.

"Hello, I'd like to report an intruder in my house causing all kind of chaos…" Rita explained.

"Can you describe the intruder?"

"He had this horrible green hair and teeth, really offensive body odor, pale skin…."

"I see...one last question.."

"Yes?"

"Did he look like…." Beetlejuice's head suddenly squeeze through the ear piece. "...THIS!?" The Loud matriarch gasped and dropped the phone as the mean spirited phantom guffawed at his own joke, shape shifting back to normal. "Hahahahahahaha! You Louds are too easy!"

"Then why don't you get lost!" Lola screamed, pointing to the door.

"What? Leave? Why would I do that!? I'm having the time of my afterlife here!" BJ declared before he swooped over to Lincoln. "By the way, thanks fer inviting me, sport. You and yer sis."

"What!? YOU invited him, Lincoln!?" His mother asked, glaring at him.

"No I didn't! Well, not really….I mean, I was there when Lucy…."

"Ah, don't be so modest, snowcone." Beetlejuice teased, mussing up Lincoln's hair. "She couldn't have done it without ya. And thanks to you two, I'm really gonna liven things up here!"

"Hey, Beetlejuice!" Lisa called from the top of the stairs, pointing a vaguely bazooka like apparatus with a pair of electrical coils sticking out of the front at him. "Say hello to my little friend."

"Whoa...what are you letting your kids play with, lady!? Whatever happened to the classic Stinkin' Logs?" The smelly spook asked, pulling a pair of rancid logs from his coat. Lincoln dove out of the way, giving Lisa a clear shot. She pulled the trigger, unleashing a bolt of electrical energy at the ghost. It struck him dead on, causing Beetlejuice to shriek and shudder.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAH! That actually hurt!" He yelled, still very jittery.

"One wasn't enough to stop him...I'll have to blast him again." Lisa said, taking aim again.

"Oh no! Once is enough!" BJ cried. The first shot stunned him enough so he couldn't just disappear, so he had to fly for it. He narrowly managed to avoid the next blast, which left a nasty scorch mark on the wall.

"Hold still, you ectoplasmic ignoramus." Lisa growled, treading down the stairs to get a better shot, her family scrambling for cover. Even in a weakened state, the ghost with the most was too quick for Lisa, her shots instead hitting the couch, the walls, the floor. One stray shot nearly hit Walt, forcing the canary to hide behind the clock on the mantle.

"I guess four eyes don't improve your aim, kid!" BJ taunted, blowing a raspberry at her.

"Four eyes….witty." Lisa replied sarcastically, pointing the cannon at the unwelcome spectre. She pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. "What in…?" She set her cannon down for a look at it. "Oh, for the love of Socrates...it's out of juice…"

"Juice, eh? I can help there." BJ said, working his magic to turn her cannon into a giant baby bottle full of apple juice, completing the image by putting Lisa in a diaper and bonnet.

"...words cannot describe how much I despise you right now…." Lisa growled with barely contained rage. Beetlejuice cackled madly before he floated off toward the kitchen.

"Well, so much for science…." Lola complained with a sigh.

"Lincoln, what did he mean when he said you and your sister invited him!?" Rita asked after the two of them rose from behind the couch.

"Well...it's like this…"

One explanation later….

"Lincoln Loud! How could you let your sister do something like that!?" His mother scolded him.

"How was I supposed to know it would work!?" Lincoln protested.

"You were in charge of watching her when she chatted online to keep her safe!"

"And I did! I made sure she didn't exchange any personal information, arrange meetups with strangers, and stuff like that!" Lincoln countered. Rita opened her mouth, but then closed it and sighed.

"You're right...you did. But you still didn't stop her from attempting the summon, even though you were right there. That does make you partially responsible."

"Ok. I acknowledge that. And I've been trying to make it better. I've tried trapping him, but he's too strong. And you saw what happened when Lisa tried to stop him." Lincoln gestured over to his irate genius little sister.

"Wait...where is Lucy in all this?" Leni asked, looking around the room for her.

"Preparing for the exorcism." Lucy said from the top of the stairs, making everyone jump.

"Lucy! I swear, we need to put a bell around your neck…" Lincoln commented, holding his chest.

"An exorcism? You mean, you can get rid of Beetlejuice?" Lola asked.

"Yes, but I'll need your help." Lucy said. "Mom, I'll need some candles. Lola, some chalk. The rest of you, meet me up in the attic." Everyone looked at one another for a moment, a little apprehensive (except for Lincoln), but they decided to go with it. Rita headed for the kitchen to get the candles, while Lola ran up to her room. Everyone else hurried up the stairs. While Leni, Lucy and Lisa went to the attic, Lincoln paused, looking into his room. Lynn was sitting on the floor, shivering. Concerned, he ran over to see if she was alright.

"Lynn? Are you ok? What happened to you?" He asked, pulling the blanket off his bed and wrapping it around her.

"Oh, I'm just flipping peachy…" Lynn grumbled through chattering teeth. "I got soaked in water and liquid soap by Luan, then frozen by this flying creep and kicked in here to defrost…."

"Don't worry, Lynn...we're gonna get that creep soon enough." He said. Just then, he heard his laptop beep. The Headspace window was still open and it seemed LyDe Darkness wanted to open a video chat. Lincoln frowned and approached his pc. This LyDe person gave Lucy the spell that brought Beetlejuice into their lives, and he was going to give her a piece of his mind. He clicked accept and what he saw surprised him. Staring at the screen was a pale young girl with raven black hair. She had light purple eyeshadow on and was wearing a black shirt. She looked beside herself with worry.

"Oh, thank goodness. I finally got through. Is Griseldafan there?" She asked frantically.

"Uh...no. You got her brother, Lincoln." He replied, frowning at her.

"Hello, Lincoln. I'm Lydia. Listen, I didn't give your sister that incantation." She quickly explained after introducing herself. "My mother had called me away and Beetlejuice decided it would be funny to tell her the words…." Lincoln opened his mouth to expressed his disbelief, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense to him. "I've been trying to get in touch with someone over there for the last few minutes."

"Yeah...we've been a bit busy getting pranked left right and center by that guy...we get that enough from Luan." Lincoln said with a frustrated sigh.

"Then how would you like to learn the way to send him home?" Lydia asked with a small smile. Lincoln was surprised once more. He didn't expect a friend of Lucy's to smile, even a little.

"You have my attention."

"It's simple, really. All you need to do is say his name three times consecutively in his presence." The goth girl on the other side of the chat explained.

"Wait...that's it?" Lincoln asked, his eye twitching a little. "We could have gotten rid of him that easily?" Lydia gave a slight nod, causing Lincoln to face palm. "If only I thought to check my computer sooner…."

"Nevermind that now, Linc! Go find that jerk and send him packing!" Lynn shouted.

"Who was that?" Lydia asked in surprise.

"My sister Lynn...Beetlejuice got her too...excuse me a moment!" Lincoln leaped off his seat and ran down the hall, headed for the attic.

"How many siblings does Griseldafan have anyway?" Lydia pondered out loud, more to herself than anyone else.

* * *

Moment earlier, Lucy, Lola, Leni, Lori (who had followed Rita and Lola up to the attic after regaining consciousness), Lisa and Rita were all congregated up in the attic. The Loud mother was lighting the candles arranged around the attic, while Lucy sat in a chalk drawn circle in her fortune telling outfit, holding Great Grandma Harriet's before her. "You're sure this will work, Lucy?" Lori asked, feeling pretty scared about possibly encountering the ghost again.

"Positive." Lucy replied as she continued to set up for the ceremony. Not far away, hidden behind some box, Beetlejuice was spying on the Loud family, resisting the urge to laugh.

"An exorcism…." He looks toward the fourth wall, pointing his thumb to the Louds. "Ain't that just adorable?" He snickers a bit. "Well, since they went through the trouble of getting it all set up….it would be rude of me not to attend." He turns his attention back to Lucy, who was starting to chant.

"Aaaaaah oooooooh Beetlejuice must go….Aaaaaaaah oooooooh Beetlejuice must go….."

"...really? That's how you're going to exorcise him….?" Lola asked, clearly underwhelmed.

"Well, elder sister, if you have a greater proficiency at the subject than Lucy, then perhaps you would like to take over…" Lisa suggested, hoping it would keep Lola quiet. Fortunately, it worked.

"Everyone, I need you to chant with me." Lucy instructed. The sisters all looked to one another, but decided to swallow their pride and go along with it. They all joined Lucy in the ridiculous chant, along with their mother (who didn't care how silly it was if it meant their unwelcome guest was gone). BJ was about ready to bust a gut at the lame spectacle before him, but he somehow managed to keep it in. It was showtime. He levitated himself upward and slowly drifted toward the circle.

"Agh! Oh! What's happening to meeeeeeee!?" He asked, pretending he was writhing in pain.

"It's working!?" Lola asked, smiling up at the 'helpless' spirit.

"Keep chanting." Lucy ordered her before returning to the chant of "Aaaaaaaah oooooooh Beetlejuice must go!"

"No! No! I don't wanna goooooo!" Beetlejuice started to cry, curling up as in in pain. The girls all looked up expectantly, except for Lucy, hoping this would be the last they would see of the striped specter. Their hopes were dashed when BJ went from crying to laughing hysterically. "HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You really thought that lame attempt at an exorcism could get rid of the Ghost with the Most!? If it weren't so funny, I'd be insulted! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He looked down at him and spotted something that made him stop laughing. Lucy. She was grinning. Why was she grinning?

"Expellevore xertixtie misseran!" She suddenly chanted, her voice resonating throughout the attic. A glowing yellow hand reached up from the book and wrapped it's fingers around BJ.

"What!? Hey! I can't get out!" He yelled, and he meant it this time.

"Lucy, what was that?" Rita asked her occult savvy daughter.

"The real exorcism incantation." Lucy explained with a smirk. "The first bit was just nonsense to lure him out. I knew he wouldn't be able to resist mocking us."

"Well played, elder sister." Lisa said, nodding and smiling in an impressed manner.

"Nice move, Luce." Lori complimented.

"Whoa...wait...can't we talk about this?" Beetlejuice asked apprehensively. "Isn't sending me to the Neitherworld...a little harsh?"

"No!" Came the collective voices of every Loud in the attic without hesitation.

"Prepare to return from wence you came, foul spirit." Lucy said. "Melezar pollomey-"

"Guys! I know how to get rid of-" Lincoln exclaimed as he suddenly appeared from the hatch leading down to the second floor.

-Illetoro!" Lucy realized too late that Lincoln was in the way, but she couldn't stop the spell. The hand crushed the pranking phantom into a ball and hurled him across the room, right at Lincoln.

"Look out!" His mother and his present sisters all shouted. He turned and saw the ghost with the most soaring right at him, screaming loudly.

"BeetlejuiceBeetlejuice-" He tried to say as quick as he could, but he couldn't get the third recital out. The wraith collided with him head on, knocking him off the ladder and onto his back on the floor below.

"Lincoln!" came the concerned cries of his family, they all rushed down to the second floor, joined by Lynn who had seen the poor boy fall.

"Is he going to be alright…?" Lola asked, putting her ear to Lincoln's heart.

"Given the impact, I would say he would have minor bruising at worst….I am surprised the collision with the spectral entity didn't leave any marks…." Lisa said, after giving Lincoln the once over.

"This is bad…." Lucy said, looking genuinely scared.

"Bad? What do you mean, bad?" Lori asked, growing more worried by the second.

"She means…." Lincoln answered, opening his eyes and grinning, with terribly familiar eyes and teeth. "That Beetlejuice is here to stay!" He continued, in the voice of the offending phantom.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The girls and their mother quickly backed away from Lincoln as he rose to his feet, smirking at them. "Lucy...I trust you have a logical explanation for what is transpiring…." Lisa said, looking toward her pale and gloomy sister.

"Lincoln's been possessed…" Lucy replied, a tear sliding down from behind her bangs. "...and it's my fault…"

"Yeah it is, and I couldn't be more grateful." 'Lincoln' said. "I mean, I probably would have prefered to be in the little lady over there…" He pointed toward Lori. "Or maybe have the hothead's muscles." He looked toward Lynn, who looked ready to tackle him. "But hey...no harm in an economy model."

"Yeah, well, there's one thing you're missing, Beetle-breath!"

"Oh really? What's that, bulk for brain?"

"Any of us can take Lincoln, no problem." Lynn Jr cracked her knuckles as she approached the possessed boy.

"Oh really? Take this!" He raised a hand toward her….but nothing happens. "Huh?" He tried it again, and again. "Come on! Juice her already!"

"Fascinating...it seems being within Lincoln's body has caused some interference with your powers, Mr Juice." Lisa commented, a half smirk starting to appear.

"In english, Egghead." BJ snapped.

"it means you're powerless!" Lynn translated, raising her fist to deck him.

"I may not be able to use my powers, girly, but now you're forgetting something. This body is a rental. Beat it up all you like. Your brother is the one paying the deposit." Beetlejuice taunted her, giving her a big, toothy grin as she threw a punch….and stopped it a hair away from his face. Her fist trembled as she held it there.

"...dang it…." Lynn groaned. She wanted to hurt Beetlejuice, not her brother.

"Hahahahahahahahaha! Looks like you're powerless too!" The ghost with the most teased as Lynn lowered her fist.

"Beetlejuice, release our brother…." Lucy said calmly and quietly. "...we'll negotiate…"

"Negotiate? What's there to negotiate, Lucy?"

"We may not be able to harm you in Lincoln's body, but you can't do anything in there. Your powers are hindered. You will get bored eventually. But if you leave him, we can discuss things. Find a happy medium. Please…." BJ mulled over what she said for a moment. She had a point; while it made a great shield, Lincoln's body was pretty boring.

"How do I know your rabid attack sister won't strike the moment I'm out? Or you won't try one of your cute spells?" He asked suspiciously.

"I give you my word." Lucy said, tossing her tome aside. "Please, come on out, Beetlejuice." He gave it another moment's thought before he shrugged. He let out a bit of a grunt, but nothing happened. Confused, he tried it again, scrunching his face a bit as he put more effort in trying to depart from Lincoln's body. "Beetlejuice…."

"Whoa, cool it a sec, Gothitelle. I'm just a little...stuck." He explained, waving his hands a bit. "Just give me a moment." He winced, groaned and started to sweat from the strain of trying to de-possess Lincoln, but still nothing happened. "Sorry, kid. I lost the keys to get out."

"Beetlejuice!" Lucy raised her voice warningly. Lincoln started to glow with a bright light as the one son fell onto his back and Beetlejuice emerged.

"Hey! You found the spare. Thanks, kid!"

"Ugh…..my head…..what happened?" Lincoln groaned as he opened his eyes.

"You got hit by a Beetlejuice fastball, Linc." Lynn Jr explained as she helped her brother up and resisted the urge to throttle the phantom behind her.

"Beetle…..!" Lincoln's eyes widen as he remembered what he had learned moments ago. "Guys, I know how to dismiss him for good!"

"You do!?" His sisters all exclaimed.

"No you don't." BJ said, calling what he believed to be Lincoln's bluff.

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" Lincoln yelled, a look of surprise appearing on the boisterous spirit's face when he ended up getting sucked right back into Lincoln, causing the one son to stumble back.

"What the hey?" Lucy asked, looking perplexed (though no one could tell).

"I thought you said that was supposed to send him away." Rita said.

"It was…" Lincoln replied, looking disheartened and a little grumpy. "Lydia told me saying his name three times would banish him…"

"Who's Lydia?"

"She's my friend on HeadSpace...who gave me the spell that summoned him…." Lucy answered sadly.

"No she didn't. Beetlejuice himself sent you the incantation." Lincoln said in Lyda's defense.

"Tattletale…" BJ's voice said from Lincoln's mouth.

"Hey..how come Lincoln and Beetleman can both talk, but Lincoln is, like, in control...I think?" Leni asked, very confused.

"No, Leni. You are correct as far as I can gather. It seems that earlier, when our resident troublemaking poltergeist was in full control, our brother was still unconscious from the impact of Beetlejuice being thrown into him and then hitting the ground. Now, however, he is conscious and able to control his body. Feel free to correct me if I am mistaken, Mr Juice." Lisa said.

"Nah...you're right….give Einstein a cookie…" BJ grumbled.

"Gladly." Lincoln said, smiling as he pulled a snickerdoodle from seemingly nowhere.

"Why, thank you, elder brother." Lisa smiled as she accepted the treat.

"Hey...how'd you do that?" Lola asked in amazement.

"Do what?"

"Where'd you get that cookie from?" Lynn Jr asked. "And do you have any more?"

"I got it from…." He pointed toward his waist, where he would usually wear his Big Brother pouch. However, the pouch was noticeably absent. "...where DID I get that cookie?"

"Hmmm. Perhaps we should all have a talk with Lydia…" Lucy said, scratching the back of her head. "..maybe she can help explain what's going on….I have a theory myself, but I'd like to hear her thoughts first. She knows Beetlejuice better than I do."

"That's not a bad idea, dear." Rita responded. "Besides, I would like to meet this young lady for myself…"

* * *

To Rita's (and everyone else's) ultimate surprise, Lydia was actually a rather nice girl. Kinda gothic with an odd sense of humor, but otherwise a good girl...making it all the stranger that she apparently became friends with Beetlejuice. After getting introductions out of the way and explaining their situation to her, Lydia tapped her fingers on her desk as she stared pensively into space. "Hmmmmm. Well, I'm no expert on the subject, but I think I can make a fairly educated guess as to what happened. You say that you tried to exorcise Beetlejuice?" Lucy nodded to her distant friend. "No offense, Lucy, but I don't think you would have had a spell strong enough to make Beetlejuice go away."

"None taken. And it wasn't my spell. It was Great Grandma Harriet's." She held up the page to the banishment spell for Lydia to peruse.

"Deadly voo! That looks like some serious stuff…" She took the opportunity to write the name of the spell down.

"Great Grandma Harriet knew her spells." Lucy said with pride in her voice.

"Anyway, right when Beej was about to be sent packing, Lincoln got in the way?" Lydia asked, trying to make sure she understood the situation.

"Yeah...I got a face full of Beetlejuice at at least 30 miles per hour…" Lincoln grumbled.

"Wasn't exactly a bowl of fruit flies for me either, snowcap." BJ retorted.

"And from that point on, Lincoln found himself possessed by Mr Juice. However, the spirit cannot leave his vessel of his own accord." Lisa added.

"Hmmmm. Judging by what I read of the banishment spell and what you just described, it sounds like the two have been bonded by the forced possession."

"Bonded? You mean Linc and the stinkpot became one with the botched exorcism?" Lynn inquired, trying to make sense of it all.

"Pretty much. The spell says that it would send an unwelcome ghost 'back from wence it came'. And unfortunately, since Lincoln was in the way…."

"Wence he came….became my little boy…." Rita's eyes were starting to fill with tears.

"I'm sorry Mrs Loud...and I'm afraid even saying his name three times will only release him and send him back into Lincoln's body now." Lydia looked apologetically at the Loud siblings and their mother.

"Well, at least while he's in Lincoln's body, that big jerk will behave himself…" Lola said, which caused BJ to stick Lincoln's tongue out at her. "...for the most part."

"Actually, that's the part that's most curious to me. You said that Beej couldn't use his powers while in Lincoln's body?"

"Not at all. He tried to 'juice' Lynn when she threatened him, but couldn't manage it." Lisa explained. "And not only that, but Lincoln also managed to pull a cookie out of the ether. I would show you some evidence...but I had needed a snack."

"Interesting….I can't be certain, but it seems like as long as Beetlejuice is in Lincoln's body, only Lincoln can control how his powers get used." Lydia theorized, looking toward the Loud boy.

"Wait...does that mean….I can fly?" Lincoln asked, the look on his face suggesting that could be a wish come true for him.

"Why not test it out, kid? Open the window and jump." Beetlejuice suggested in a deadpan manner.

"Now hold on, Lincoln. That's only a guess I have...but I can get in touch with someone who might know." Lydia reached into her desk drawer and pulled a bat shaped cell phone from it. She dialed a few numbers on it, then stepped away from the camera so she could talk.

"Hello hello. Neitherworld City Hall Department of Possessions. This is Tara Chula. How may I help you?" A spider/woman hybrid monster said in a chipper voice as she answered the phone. She had red hair done up in a beehive and wore a dull gray business blouse and tie. She was sitting behind a desk in a small office fillled with cobwebs, a few flies trapped inside filing away paperwork behind her.

"Hello Tara. This is Lydia Deetz."

"Oh, Lydia! Hi! It's been so long since I heard from you. How ya been? Are you still hanging out with that bad egg, Beetlejuice?"

"Hehehe. I'm fine, Tara. And yes, I do still hang out with Beetlejuice from time to time. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm doing just grand. Just had my website redesigned. You should come over and see it sometime."

"Sounds nice. I was calling because I had some questions regarding the phenomenon of forced possessions."

"Forced possession...as in the ghost forces the possession or is the ghost forced into it?"

"The ghost is forced into it. The ghost in question also cannot leave the vessel on their own power." Lydia explained.

"Oh my. That is a rather uncommon case there, Lydia, but it does happen. So, what would you like to know?"

"Well, it's been noted that, while the ghost in question doesn't have access to their powers while within their possessee, the mortal seems to have limited access. Is that even possible?"

"Oh, of course, dear. Happens all the time." Tara explained as she typed away on her keyboard, looking up the information. "When the spirit of the living and the dead become one, the living can share in the power of their possessor, but only as much as the possessor allows."

"I see. So if the mortal, say, wanted to fly like a ghost could, they could only do it in the ghost shares that much power?"

"Bingo."

"And is it possible to separate the bond between the forced possessee and possessor?"

"Well, death is the obvious answer, but I'm gonna guess that's not gonna fly here, huh?"

"Not by a long shot, Tara."

"Thought not. Well, I could find a specific solution, but I'm gonna need a little more input. How were the two bonded?"

"The vessel accidentally got in the way during an attempted exorcism. And in case you need the name of the spell, it's Mistafala's Hand."

"Oh! That's an old school one. Very effective. Someone must have really wanted them gone. Name of the possessee?"

"Lincoln Loud."

"Mmmhmmm. And name of the possessor?" Lydia hesitated for a moment.

"Er…. It's…." She hastily mumbled the name.

"I'm sorry dear. What was that?"

"...Beetlejuice." Lydia said flatly.

"Beetle….you mean….He was the one who…..WAAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Tara was laughing so hard that she fell right out of her chain, her eight legs flailing in the air. Lydia sighed and gave the spider woman a chance to get it all out of her system. A few minutes later, she heard Tara return to the phone.

"...are you done?"

"Hehehehehe…..yes dear. I'm sorry. I know you two are friends but...you gotta admit, he had it coming."

"Well, when you put it that way...I guess he did. Hehehe." Lydia giggled a little bit as she thought about it. "But anyway, is there anyway you can help me?"

"I'm afraid not, Lydia. If word got out that I helped Beetlejuice out of a situation like this, it could cost me my job. I'm sorry, but when it comes to that troublemaker, you're on your own." Lydia sighed. She had seen this coming, but it didn't make it any less of a spirit breaker.

"Well...thanks anyway, Tara."

"Anytime, dear."

"Would it be possible to look up this information on my own?" Lydia asked, feeling hopeful.

"Of course. With the world wide web, anything is possible. But finding it may be the tricky part."

"Well, it's a start at least. Thank you, Tara. You've been very helpful."

"Thank you for calling. Call again soon. Buh bye, hon." Lydia sighed as she hung up and moved back in front of her computer.

"I've got good news, and bad news…"

"What's the bad news?" Lincoln asked apprehensively.

"Neitherworld City Hall won't help us." Lydia responded sadly. "In matters involving Beetlejuice, anything that hurts him only help."

"Remind me to send them a thank you face hugger…." BJ grumbled through Lincoln's mouth.

"That said, the information to sever the bond between you is out there, so it will be possible to split BJ and Lincoln. It's….just not going to be easy to find."

"Please, Miss Deetz. If information exists, I will find it." Lisa said in a somewhat egotistical way.

"It's not that easy, Lisa. You may be really smart, but you'd need to navigate the afterlife's version of the internet. A virus from there could have tragic consequences both inside your computer and outside." Lydia warned her.

"She's right, kid. I heard tell 'bout a guy who got one of those viruses. Completely wiped his hard drive and he lost his head over it."

"I can understand the frustration, Mr Juice, of losing an entire hard drive, but…"

"He means literally." Lydia elaborated, causing Lisa's eyes to widen.

"Uh...I see….perhaps you could assist me, Miss Deetz, in securing my computer against such intrusions and in searching for the required data?" Lisa asked, a slight shake to her voice.

"How can she do that? She's all the way in...wherever she lives." Leni pointed out.

"You make a good point, Leni. However, you have the ghost with the most on your side." Lydia said, pointing to Lincoln.

"Ah, babes, you'll make me blush."

"All we need is a full length mirror on your side."

"Lola has a few." Lori pointed out.

"Uh uh! No way are we letting Jerky-Juice mess with one of my mirrors!" Lola screamed, stamping her foot.

"Suit yourself, Lola." Lydia said calmly. "I guess Lincoln could just get used to having Beetlejuice as a tenant."

"Hey! That could be fun!" Beetlejuice said with a sneaky grin. "We could all do all kinds of things, like going to your beauty pageants…" Lola suddenly held a hand to his face.

"...I'll move a spare into the hall." She said flatly, resisting the urge to slug her brother to get at the spirit within him. She and Lynn hurried to get the mirror just as Luna emerged from the bathroom, Lana ascended the stairs carrying El Diablo and Luan stepped out of her room with Mr Coconuts.

"Huh? Hey, what are you guys up to?" Luna asked as she saw her sisters moving a mirror out into the hall.

"You guys familiar with a ghost called Beetlejuice?" Lynn asked, looking kinda grumpy.

"I wish I was a lot less familiar…" Luna replied with a sneer.

"Yeah! The guy's a riot." Luan commented.

"He sure is!" Lana agreed.

"Perfect...two who actually LIKE the creep…." Lola held the bridge of her nose in irritation. "And one of them is my twin…."

"What can I say? I have my fans." Beetlejuice said as Lincoln stepped out into the hall.

"Dude...that's not funny…" Luna frowned at her brother.

"I'm not laughing." Lincoln replied. "Unfortunately, he and I are stuck together."

"Really? Great!" Lana cheered, getting weird looks from her siblings (apart from Luan).

"No, Lana. Not great. I have a ghost in my body with a desire to be as obnoxious as possible able to speak out of my mouth or even sometimes use my body for his nefarious purposes!"

"Aww, and I thought you didn't like me, Lincoln." Beetlejuice spoke up in a flattered voice, getting a laugh out of Lana and Luan, and a chuckle from Lucy and Lynn.

"Lynn! Who's side are you on!?"

"Sorry, bro...but that was kinda funny."

"Are you guys ready out there?" Lucy asked, remaining in front of Lincoln's laptop.

"As we'll ever be." Lincoln answered.

"Go ahead, Lydia." She nodded to Lucy and positioned herself in front of her own mirror.

"Though I know I should be wary

Now I venture someplace scary

Ghostly hauntings I turn loose

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!"

The moment she mentioned her phantom friend's name three times, Lincoln started to glow. Beetlejuice flew from his head, cackling madly before he cast his spell upon the mirror. On Lydia's end, she held out her arms as a red sarong with black lines resembling a spider web appeared on her, as well as arm length fingerless black gloves. Her hair grew a small amount and sprouted upward, wrapped in a hair tie. Smiling, she strode into the mirror and exitted in the Loud family's upstairs hallway. Luna and Luan just stood their, mouths hanging open at what they just witnessed, while Lana just grinned excitedly. "uh...Hi." Lincoln said, blushing a bit at Lydia's new look.

"Hey babes. Welcome to Casa Loud."

"Hello, Lincoln. Thanks BJ." She smiles up at Beetlejuice, then takes notice of the three other sisters in the hall. "Oh. I don't believe we've met yet. I'm Lydia. Lydia Deetz."

"Uh...Hey there. I'm Luna." The third oldest brunette replied, still a little out of it.

"I'm Lana!" The little tomboy announced.

"I'm noticing a trend here." Lydia said with a giggle.

"Nice to meetcha Miss A Trend Here. I'm Luan!" The family clown joked, holding out a hand. Lydia was about to shake it, but Lincoln grabbed her wrist before pointing out the joy buzzer. "Oops. How'd that get there?" Luan blushed and chuckled as she removed the portable zapper.

"That. Was. Incredible!" Lynn Jr commented with a big smile.

"Thanks." Lydia replied. "The mirror should work as a passage between our two houses, so I can assist Lisa in preparing her computer for a trip down the inflammation superhighway, and Beej can come visit me when he isn't in Lincoln."

"Ahem. Pardon my interruption, Miss Deetz, but…"

"Oh, no, Lisa. In the Neitherworld, it really is inflammation superhighway." Lydia explained.

"Yeah, cause one wrong turn'll give ya a rash like you wouldn't believe." Beetlejuice said, pointing a finger at her.

"Beetlejuice…." Lydia warned him.

"Whoa, watch the B words, babes. Ok, I'll lay off the munchkin."

"Munchkin…..quite witty…." An unamused Lisa said flatly. "Come, Miss Deetz. The sooner we jettison that pest from our dear brother, the better for all of us."

"Right. And in the meantime, BJ…." She looked back up at the spectral troublemaker, who was hastily hiding a clock and some wiring behind his back, grinning with false innocence. "...I expect you to behave while you're here." The ghost and his human friend looked each other in the eyes for a moment, then both started laughing. "Hahaha...ok, asking too much. But in all seriousness, lay off the Louds, or you're going right back inside Lincoln."

"Why should I be punished when HE acts up?" Lincoln asked bitterly.

"Sorry, Lincoln, but since he's bound to you and his powers are limited when he's in you, it's the only option we have. And on that note, you should should really consider getting along and cooperating with one another."

"Yeah? Why's that, Lyds?" The pugnacious phantom asked, his arms crossed.

"Well, you'd like to be able to use your magic while within him, right?" The ghost with the most nodded. "And you'd like to be able to use his powers, right Lincoln?"

"Not the way he uses them…" The white haired boy muttered.

"Well, if you want to, the two of you will need to work together. BJ needs to allow you to use his powers before you can use them and Lincoln needs to want to use them as well." The one son and spooky neer do well glance at one another, then turn their backs to each other.

"No way!" BJ stated.

"I'd sooner lick a bathroom floor than trust him…" Lincoln said.

"Really?" The mean spirited phantasm asked, grinning. "Me too! Race ya there!" He called, flying like a shot toward the bathroom.

"...he's not serious….right?" Lori asked, feeling a little sick. Her answer came when an irked Beetlejuice stuck his head out of the keyhole.

"Alright! Who's the joker who cleaned the bathroom!?" Almost every one of the Loud sisters, Rita, Lincoln and Lydia all looked absolutely disgusted and kinda sick, the exception (of course) being Lana, who thought that was hilarious.

* * *

Sometime later, Beetlejuice was floating around Lincoln's room, looking board. No, that wasn't a typo. He was literally flying around as a plank of wood with a grouchy face. He was instructed to remain in Lincoln's room until further notice, or else he would get sent back. Meanwhile, his unwilling host, Lincoln, was writing something down in a little notebook. Every once in a while, he would pause, erase, and write again. He was seemingly paying no heed to the ghost in his room. "GAH! I can't take it anymore!" BJ screamed as he changed back to normal. "What's the matter with you, kid!? You're...what, eleven? You've got your whole life ahead of ya! You could be out skating, picking fights, chasing girls." He leans closer to the fourth wall to whisper "I know I would be" before continuing on to say "...instead of doing…..what ARE you doing!?"

"Number one, it's eight in the evening." Lincoln pointed out, not looking up from his work.

"So? All the best stuff happens when the lights are off."

"And number two, if we are REALLY going to be stuck together….I figured we should at least come up with a cool incantation to summon you...something a little jazzier than just your name three times." He explained further.

"Say...I think I can actually get behind that idea." BJ said with a smile. "So, what do you have, Shakespeare?" Lincoln glanced up at him, then cleared his throat.

"Evil beware, for I summon forth…." Lincoln called forth boldly, holding off on saying the ghost's name. His one ghost audience just looked at him for a moment, then started cracking up.

"Evil beware!? What do you think this is!? Some saturday morning cartoon!?" He criticized before looking at the audience with Lincoln. "Er...on second thought...don't answer that. Anyway, it stinks."

"Well, what do you suggest?" Lincoln countered, looking offended. Beetlejuice smirked as his head turned into Lincoln's.

"I, weak little weenie Lincoln, call forth the mighty ghost with the most, Beetlejuice!" The spirit called in the only son's voice.

"Ho ho. Very funny. Ha ha. It is to laugh…" Lincoln replied sarcastically. "Here's another idea I had. Hey, Beetlejuice! Get out here, you jerk!"

"Oh, I'm rolling in the aisles here…" BJ quipped, turning into a bowling ball rolling down an aisle, hitting a strike. "Come on, kid. Ya gotta have something better than that." He said as he returned to normal.

"Well, there's one that was inspired by Lydia's…." He turned back to that page.

"Deep within, I am host

to the ghost with the most

with this chant, I turn loose…"

Lincoln turned to look at Beetlejuice, who seemed deep in thought.

"Eh. Not bad. Kinda derivative...but we can work on that." Lincoln sighed, tossing his notebook aside.

"I thought it had a certain ring to it." Lucy said quietly from the doorway, startling Lincoln into falling out of bed. BJ looked down at him and held up a five card.

"Good yelp, but your form was shaky and you didn't stick the landing." He criticized.

"Oh shut up…." Lincoln grumbled before turning to his little sister. "What's up, Lucy?"

"I wanted to say I'm sorry, big brother…..for getting you into this mess in the first place."

"...Lucy, it wasn't your fault…" Lincoln said, his angry look melting into one of sympathy.

"Yes it is." Beetlejuice intervened.

"Zip it!" Lincoln snapped, a zipper running over BJ's mouth.

"He's right, Lincoln...I was the one who asked Lydia for the spell to summon a ghost...I took Beetlejuice's word as Lydia's without checking first….I cast the spell to begin with...and I cast the spell that forced him to possess you.." Lucy sniffed a bit, the one son knowing she was about one step from crying.

"Lucy, please...don't beat yourself up over this…" He said, putting his arms around her. "You just made a mistake, is all…"

"A mistake the changed your life forever." Beetlejuice added with a snicker.

"..And I'm just as much to blame anyway. I had the opportunity to stop you from summoning Beetlejuice, but I didn't. And I was the one who barged into the attic in the middle of an exorcism." The ghastly ghost above them pretended to throw up at the scene going on below him.

"Lincoln…." Lucy started to say, but the one son stopped her.

"It'll be alright, Lucy. Lisa and Lydia are on the case. Between the two of them, they'll find a way to separate Beetlejuice from me for good in no time."

"Preferably before my host becomes a shriveled old man."

"Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice!" A fed up Lincoln chanted, forcing the frustrating phantom back into his host.

"...I hate you so much right now." BJ said through Lincoln's mouth.

"Well, you don't do a whole lot for me either." The Loud boy snapped in return before bringing his attention back to his guilt ridden sister. "As I was saying; In the meantime, I'll be fine, Lucy. It will take some adjusting...and a lot of patience...but we'll find a way to make it all work."

"...are you sure, big brother…?"

"Positive. In fact, this could be like the next big adventure in my life. The quest to send a lost (and incredibly annoying) soul back home." He said in the tone of a movie trailer announcer, making Lucy giggle ever so slightly.

"Yeah, but what would we call it? The adventures of Lincoln-Juice?" Beetlejuice piped up. Lincoln and Lucy looked at one another for a moment, before all three of them said in unison "Nah!"


	4. Chapter 4

Ch 4

'And of course, this had to happen before I went to school…' Lincoln thought glumly as he rode on the bus to school. As much as he would have loved to go without Beetlejuice, he didn't trust the ghost not to turn his house into a literal minefield in their absence, or to leave their neighbor Mr Grouse alone, so once more, he had to take one for the team.

"Ah. School. Twenty of the best years of my life." Beetlejuice commented quietly.

"Twenty years?" Lincoln asked.

"Took them that long to expel me."

"It figures…" Lincoln grumbled. "Speaking of, I don't want to get expelled because of you, BJ…"

"Moi? Get you expelled? Perish the thought." Beetlejuice said in a voice so plainly faking innocence. Lincoln was getting a few strange looks from nearby students on the bus, who only saw the young man talking to himself.

"Yes, you. So I'm willing to make you a deal." Lincoln said under his breath.

"Oooo. A deal. I'm listening…"

"If you behave yourself through all of school, I promise I'll let you out in the afternoon, for the whole afternoon." He offered the spirit within.

"Hmmmmm. A really tempting offer…" BJ said quietly as he considered it. "Ya know what? Why not?"

"And by behave, I mean keep your voice out of my mouth." Lincoln amended. "No scaring. No pranking. No back talking."

"Ah, you're no fun." He complained. "But like I said, why not? You have a deal, Mr President."

"Good. Glad we could come to an agreement." Lincoln nodded as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, though he didn't trust the ghost any further than he could throw him.

"Who are you talking to, buddy?" Lincoln's friend, Clyde, said as he took a seat behind him. Lincoln thought for a moment about telling him what happened the previous night.

"Can you keep a secret, Clyde?"

"Sure, Lincoln. What's up?" Lincoln leaned in closer to whisper to his best friend.

"I've been possessed." Clyde blinked the moment he heard this. "I mean it. I'm currently host to a ghost named Beetlejuice." There was silence between them for a moment before Clyde started laughing.

"Oh man...you really had me going there, Linc. Did Luan put you up to this?"

"Don't think he's buying it, kid." Beetlejuice said, using Lincoln's mouth.

"Whoa. You catching a cold there, Lincoln? Your voice sounded terrible there for a moment."

"No, Clyde. I'm not catching a cold...look, before school, meet me around the east side of the building...I'll show you what I mean." Clyde looked hesitant for a moment, still convinced this was some kind of joke. However, the pleading look in Lincoln's eyes whittled away at his reservations.

"Alright, buddy. If it's that important to you." Clyde replied with a nod. The rest of the bus ride seemed to take an eternity in Lincoln's eyes, but eventually, they arrived at Royal Woods Elementary. While the rest of the students went inside, Lincoln and Clyde broke off from the crowd to slip around the side of the building. Once the white haired lad was sure that no one had followed them and no one was watching, he turned to face his friend.

"Alright...here goes:

Deep within, I am host

To the ghost with the most

With this chant, I turn loose

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."

The moment Lincoln said the three B words, he was surrounded by a soft light. Clyde stumbled back as the putrid phantom emerged from Lincoln's head, landing softly on his feet on the grass before him.

"Tah dah." He said with a bow. "No autographs, please." The african american boy just stood there, his mouth hanging open at what he had just witnessed.

"Dude….if this is some kind of prank...I'm impressed." He finally said. "How did you pull that off?"

"What? You don't believe I'mma ghost kid? You say you still need convincing?" An offended BJ asked with a sneer.

"Beetlejuice, no..." Lincoln tried to warn him, but he may as well have spoken to the wall for all the good it did. Beetlejuice levitated himself into the air, scoping the grounds for a target. In the distance, he saw the school janitor watering some bushes. Grinning, he pointed over at a patch of grass behind him, a ray of magic emitting from the tip of his finger. The patch of grass started to grow wild, even taller than the janitor, before growing large monstrous jaws at the six largest blades. The maintenance man of the school paused in his work when he heard the growling and turned his head to see the gargantuan weed. It roared right in his face like some kind of leafy green hydra.

"Huh. Crabgrass is getting kinda out of hand." He commented calmly, scratching his head. "Welp, better get the old equalizer." Beetlejuice just watched with a 'wth' look as the janitor stepped inside a nearby tool shed and emerged seconds later with a large scythe. One look at the blade made the grass monster screech, then shrink back to normal. "Hehe. Sometimes, ya just gotta show them who's boss."

"What that….?" BJ floated right back down, all kinds of bemused and annoyed.

"Dude, that guy's been janitor here for year…" Lincoln told him.

"Ooooh! That explains it. That guy's probably seen some sh-" He pauses, then glances upward at the rating in the corner before finishing with. "-stuff."

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice." Lincoln chanted, causing the ghost to re-possess him. "Convinced, Clyde?"

"...I'm not sure what I just saw...but I believe you, buddy. How did this happen?"

"I'll explain as much as I can at lunch." Lincoln said. "In the meantime, mum's the word."

"I thought the bird was the word." Beetlejuice joked, getting a snicker out of Clyde.

"...in the meantime, let's get to class before Miss Johnson marks us as late." The two boys double time it around the building and into the hallway, headed for their classroom.

'Sooo...MISS Johnson? As in, she's single?' Beetlejuice asked Lincoln inside his head.

'Don't even...wait, we could have communicated without talking this whole time?' Lincoln thought angrily at the ghost.

'Well, DUH.'

'Then why did you keep using my mouth to talk to me on the bus!? You made me look like I was some kind of nut!'

'You answered your own question there, Lincoln.' Beetlejuice answered, snickering.

'...I cannot wait until you are finally out of me…' Lincoln was red in the face with anger and embarrassment, forcing himself to stop and calm himself down before he entered the classroom. The first couple minutes of class went peacefully enough; with the morning announcements and collection of homework. It wasn't until the class was given a worksheet to do when things started to turn sour.

'Heh. She's not bad, is she?' Lincoln heard in his own head.

'Who?'

'The Teach. I mean, the legs are kinda skinny, but she's got librarian hair. You know, the kind that's all bundled up, but when she let's it down….oooooh boy.' The pranking ghost was practically drooling in Lincoln's head, which thoroughly disgusted the young man.

'Beetlejuice….'

'And doze hips! Wow. Could give yer mom a run fer her money, wouldn't you agree?'

'Seriously, dude? My mom's hips and my teacher's hips are the LAST things I want to think about right now...also Eew!'

'What can I say? I like big butts and I cannot lie.' Beetlejuice explained, the song suddenly playing inside the poor boy's head.

"Give me strength…." Lincoln groaned. He tightened his grip on his pencil and it snapped like a toothpick. "Huh?" He looked a little confused as he opened his desk to get a new pencil and effortlessly ripped the top right off its hinges. This got the attention of the whole class now. "Hehehe….rusty hinges." He said lamely, trying to explain away what happened. He grabbed a new pencil, carefully, and moved to the desk behind his old one, very red in the face. When he pushed the chair back, the back legs compressed like an accordian.

"Whoa. Someone's been eatin' his spinach." Liam whispered.

"Lincoln, are you alright?" A very concerned Miss Johnson asked.

"S...sure. Never better. Why do you ask?" Lincoln replied, a nervous grin on his face. He quickly straightened out the legs of the chair and cautiously sat down. He could hear the ghost trying to stifle his chortles in the back of his mind.

'Beetlejuice, I know you had a hand in that….'

'You said give me strength. Can I help it if I take things literally?'

'You are literally the worst...I can't believe I just pulled a Lori there…'

'Thank you. You're too kind.' Lincoln sighed in frustration and continued his work. Thankfully, nothing else happened for the rest of morning class, though Miss Johnson kept her eye on Lincoln for the majority of class. She wasn't sure what it was, but something was bothering the boy. She could tell that by the look on his face. And that sudden display of strength? First opportunity she could, she was getting to the bottom of this. When she dismissed class to go to gym, she called Lincoln back for a moment.

"Something wrong, Miss Johnson?" Lincoln asked as he walked back to his teacher.

"I could ask the same of you, Lincoln." She beckoned him to take a seat in front of her desk, which the young man did. "Is something bothering you?"

"Not...really. Why?"

"Because you look like it. Every so often in class, you've had this very annoyed look on your face. Is everything alright at home?"

"Yes. Everything is fine at home." Lincoln replied. His teacher looked at him for a moment, then nodded, seemingly satisfied with his answer.

"Mmhmm. And in school?"

'My only problem is not having your number, baby.' Beetlejuice said in Lincoln's head.

'Shut up.' Lincoln thought, glowering and blushing a little before shaking his head and trying to look as neutral as possible. "Yeah. Okay at school too." Now she was less convinced.

"Is someone bullying you, Lincoln?"

'No, Miss Johnson." Then he thought 'at least no one living…'

"Is someone bullying one of your sisters?"

"No. Miss Johnson."

'Is someone burning fudge, because somebody's smooookin'!' BJ intervened.

"Shut up, Beetlejuice…" Lincoln hissed through clenched teeth.

"Did you say something, Lincoln?" His teacher asked with a raised eyebrow.

"N...No, Miss Johnson…." He replied quickly. Far too quickly.

"Lincoln, listen to me a moment…" She stepped out from around her desk, bending down on one knee to look at him on his level. "...I know something is bothering you, and I want to help you, but I can't if you don't tell me what it is…"

'Kiss me, you fool.'

"WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF!?" Lincoln shouted, once more red in the face. Agnes nearly fell back from this sudden outburst, a look of shock on her face. The middle Loud realized what he must have done and gasped. "Oh...no! I wasn't talking to you, Miss Johnson!"

"You weren't…? But we're the only ones here? If you weren't talking to me, then who?" Lincoln had to think fast. She couldn't tell him about Beetlejuice, even if he knew she wouldn't believe him. However, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place now.

"You...know that little voice in the back of your head…?" He started to say, sweating a bit.

"Your conscience?"

"Kind of….but not as helpful and A LOT more annoying…." He said, hearing the ghost blow a raspberry at him inside his mind. "...and constantly saying things to you that you don't even want to think about…." His teacher looked at him for a moment, trying to make sense of what he just said...and then it clicked.

"Oh! I think I understand now." She said with a soft smile, getting to her feet. "You're growing up, Lincoln."

"Say what….?" He asked nervously, BJ laughing it up inside his head.

"You're starting puberty. Perhaps a little sooner than most...but these days, that's becoming more common. Almost frighteningly so. Anyway, it makes sense. The uncomfortable looks, the mood swings the...well, it doesn't really explain the sudden strength….or does it?" Agnes looked out into space as she considered this. "Well, I suppose it's possible...but anyway, it's a natural thing, Lincoln, and nothing to be worried of or ashamed of."

"Uh….if you say so…."

"I would suggest you talk with your parents about it if it's really bothering you. They could probably help clear a few things up." LIncoln's face turned red again. If he weren't already dead, Beetlejuice would be dying of laughter. "Off you go, Lincoln." She said as she dismissed him to go to gym.

"You are NOT getting let out after school…." Lincoln growled to himself in the empty hallway, feeling positively humiliated.

"Totally worth it."

* * *

"So, that was the Beetleguy that was driving you nuts in class?" Clyde asked his best friend quietly at their table in the cafeteria. They were alone at the moment, as the rest of their circle of friends were getting their lunch. Lincoln was still on the fence about telling them, but here would not be the right place. For right now, he was explaining to Clyde what had just happened.

"Yeah...and he also caused that moment of freakish strength…" Lincoln admitted sourly. He decided to omit the teacher's line of logic in his retelling. He was embarrassed enough as it is.

"He can do that?" His nerdish friend asked in amazement.

"Yeah...the way Lydia explained it, he could give me the ability to use his powers if he allowed it and if I wanted it...but since Beetlejuice is a big jerk, he'll only let them slip at the worst possible times…."

"If it helps, I had fun." BJ said.

"It doesn't and shut up." Lincoln grumbled.

"Hey guys." Rusty said as he, Zach and Liam joined the two at their table. "So, Linc...that was pretty awesome what you did in class."

"Please don't remind me…." Lincoln groaned.

"You think you could do it again?" Zach asked eagerly. "Like, lift the table here?"

"I doubt it…" Lincoln sighed, but decided to humor his friend. He put his hand under the table and…..it lifted into the air at the slightest push from Lincoln.

"Whoa. Look at that." Came a voice from the other side of the lunch room.

"That's so cool." Rusty commented.

"It's...probably one of those cheap, plastic tables." Lincoln said with a nervous chuckle. He hastily put it down, causing it to clang loudly against the tiled floor. "Ooooor not."

"Incredible."

"The Loud Kid doesn't know his own strength."

"He's so strong!"

"He might even be stronger than Bison."

"Don't say that…" Lincoln pleaded, but it was too late. The damage was done.

"Someone care to repeat that?" Said a low, quiet voice from somewhere in the cafeteria. Lincoln and his friends slowly turned their heads to see a tall, thin boy striding toward them. He was wearing a black bomber jacket, torn jeans, and black sneakers. He had a patch on the shoulder that resembled a bison. His gray hair was as long as his neck and he had a mostly chewed toothpick in his mouth. "I could have swore someone said that someone was stronger than me."

"N...No Bison. No one here said that…" Lincoln said with a very uneasy smile on his face.

"Hmmm. Must have just been my imagination." He said, rubbing his chin a bit as he eyed Lincoln in a calculating manner. "Yeah...must have been. Right then. No harm done." The young man turned his back to Lincoln and his friends, allowing Lincoln to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Hey slimeball!" BJ shouted from Lincoln's mouth. "The Fonz called! He wants his jacket back!" Bison stopped mid step and turned around slowly.

"That was not my imagination…." He said slowly, glaring at Lincoln.

"I didn't say that. I swear." The Loud boy stammered. Bison did have to admit, the voices certainly didn't match. Something was fishy here.

"The 90's are dead, pal! Let it rest in peace!" Lincoln gulped as Bison's eyes narrowed. He slammed his fist on the table, putting a huge dent in it.

"That time, it was no mistake. You have a big mouth, kid. You should learn to close it." The tough guy said, never once raising his voice. "Perhaps a private lesson will help you. 3 PM. By the bike racks. Come alone." He cautioned Lincoln before he turned and strolled away. "And one more thing...don't make me come look for you either...or it won't be pretty." Lincoln just stood, too scared to even move. He only had one thought in his mind.

'I'm dead…'

* * *

'Ah, come on, kid. It won't be that bad.' BJ said in Lincoln's mind as he walked through the halls at the end of school.

'Won't be so bad!?' Lincoln thought, his mind full of wrath. 'I'm about to be beaten to a pulp by the strongest kid in school because of YOUR big mouth!'

'Well, you were the one showing off.' Beetlejuice retorted. 'Besides, he's just one guy. You can take him'

'I'm no fighter...at least, not to his or Lynn's caliber…'

'You'll be fine, Mr President. Jascque is more buff than that guy is, and he's a skeleton.' Lincoln sighed, wishing that he could had ANYONE else with him in his dying moments. He started making his way to the bike racks, no one daring to go with him. Bison, after all, told him to come alone. Lincoln's legs started to wobble as he turned the corner to see the jacket wearing boy standing right by the bike holders.

"Three on the dot. Very good, Loud. I don't like having my time wasted, and you didn't waste it. That's fine. Now then...on with the lesson." He snapped his fingers, four other, bigger kids emerging from the opposite corner.

"Huh!?" Lincoln gasped in horror.

'Uh oh…' Beetlejuice now realized he done messed up.

"I...I thought you said…"

"I told you to attend the lesson alone. I never said I wouldn't bring teaching aides. Allow me to introduce you to my pack. Tiger, Viper, Shark, and Falcon." He said, indicating each of the bigger boys who had a patch symbolizing their pack name. "And now, without further ado...the lesson."

"Bison, wait! I'm sorry! I truly didn't mean to say any of those things. I really don't know what came over me…" Lincoln pleaded, trying to back up, but his legs didn't seem to want to function.

"You know, Loud...under normal circumstances, I would have taken that apology and been on my way. However, this is a matter of principal. Someone else in the school seems to be under the impression that you are stronger than I. This, I cannot let stand. This is nothing personal anymore. Simply setting the record straight." He punched one fist into his other hand, the rest of his pack following suit.

'Ok, listen, kid.' Beetlejuice said hastily, though only the Loud boy could hear. 'I know we had our differences before, but you gotta hear me out on this one.' The five leather wearing bruisers took a step forward. 'You gotta let me out and deal with these guys.'

'Why should I listen to you after YOU got me into this mess!?'

'Isn't that all the more reason for you to make me fix it!? Besides, if you die, then I'm headed back to the Neitherworld, and if that happens, I'm gonna be in a whole heap of trouble!' Lincoln thought that he would probably deserve it in that case, but he didn't really want to die. 'I'm begging fer my afterlife kid….say the words!'

"Wait!" Lincoln cried out. "...can't I just say my prayers real quick?"

"Hmmmm…" Bison tapped his foot a bit as he quickly thought about this. "Why not? I believe myself to be a tough, but fair teacher. Go right ahead and make your peace, Loud." Lincoln quickly dropped to his knees and started muttering to himself.

"Deep within, I am host

To the ghost with the most

With this chant, I turn loose

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, BEETLEJUICE!"

A blinding light shone from the white haired boy's body as he yelled the ghost's name for the third time.

"What the..!?" Bison and his four cronies covered their eyes at the bright flash. When they could see again, they found themselves face to face with a pale man dressed in a black and white pinstripe gangster suit, carrying a violin case in his left hand and flipping a coin in his other. "Who the heck are….?"

"I thought Rocky told yous boys…" He said in a Godfather voice. "...he don't want you round these parts no more…." He took a few steps toward them, which made the five boys retreat a few steps.

"N...Now wait just a moment, buddy. I think what we have here is a simple miscommunication somewhere along the line…" Bison tried to say.

"I'll say. We communicated and you mugs missed it. And now...it's curtains for you." BJ took a few more steps closer, backing the pack into a wall.

"...Come on, man...we can discuss this like reasonable folks, right?"

"It's curtains for you. Curtains I say!" He reached into his violin case, and then shoves a curtain rod with pretty pink and red curtains into his mouth. "And one for you!" He stuck another one into Tiger's mouth, this one white with a little sailor motive around the trim. "And you!" Shark was next, these curtains a plain blue color. "And here's a towel rack for you!" He shoved a whole rack full of towels into Viper's hand. "And all you get is a stack of washcloths, Falcon!" The last pack member just looked confused as he was handed a mountain of wash rags. "Thanks for playing and we hope you try again soon." BJ suddenly looked like a tv game show host, an invisible audience applauding as the ghost waved and walked off stage. Bison and his friends just stared at each other in bewilderment before they spit out the curtains and drops the towels and cloths.

"Hold it right there. What makes you think you can just come along and try and make a monkey out of me?" Bison demanded to know in his trademark calm voice.

"Ooo! Good idea!" BJ said with a grin, snapping his fingers. In the blink of an eye, Bison turned into a monkey wearing his jacket and jeans. "I love making folks go ape."

"Get him!" Tiger shouted.

"Dog pile on the creeeeep!" Viper and Shark screamed as they dove on top of Beetlejuice. They snickered as they thought they had crushed him. They weren't laughing for long when they noticed the ground around them was getting dark. They looked up to see the ghost with the most overhead, carrying a massive pile of dogs. He drops them right onto their heads, the dogs all barking, yapping, panting and wagging their tails.

"Note: No dogs were harmed in the making of this fanfic." Beetlejuice declared to the fourth wall. "Scumbags, on the other hand…." He smirked, looking toward Tiger and Falcon, who seemed to have the sense to run away. "Ya bunch of chickens!" He shouted, both boys turning into the biggest chickens anyone ever saw. "Hehehehe. That was fun."

"The fun's over, whoever you are." BJ turned his head and saw the monkey that was Bison had Lincoln in a headlock. "If you know what's good fer Loud here, you'll change me back."

"Fine, fine...though it was an improvement…." The impractical joker replied under his breath, snapping his fingers again and returning Bison to normal.

"Good...now you get lost…Me and Loud have unfinished business to take care of."

"Ya know...I would...but I think someone else has an appointment with you first."

"Oh? And who, pray tell, would have an appointment with me?" In answer, the grim grinning ghost pointed behind him. Raising an eyebrow, Bison looked over his shoulder. His blood froze in his veins as he saw nine VERY angry Loud Sisters standing right behind him, leering right at him. Lori was cracking her knuckles, Leni was standing there right her arms crossed, Luna was twirling a pair of drumsticks in her hands, Luan had a big old slapstick that she was wielding like a samurai sword, Lynn had a baseball bat in hand, Lucy was just standing there staring, Lola and Lana looked ready to charge, and Lisa had a phone in her hand and a look of 'give me a reason' on her face. "Ahem….I think I see what you mean…." He carefully let go of Lincoln and dusted him off. "However, I just remembered a previous engagement and will be unable to make this appointment. Class dismissed." With that, he turned tail and ran for it, a monkey tail waving behind him as he bolted.

"Are you alright, Lincoln?" Lori asked, running over to check the boy over.

"I'm fine, Lori...thanks to you guys...and Beetlejuice." He said, though added angrily. "...even though he got me into this mess in the first place."

"No applause. Just throw money." BJ said, bowing to the sisters and grinning broadly. This earned him a solid strike across the face with Lynn Jr's bat, knocking him to the ground and forcing him to spit out some teeth. "...I probably deserved that." He groaned.

"Save your energy, Lynn. Any damage you do to him, he'll recover in an instant." Lisa deadpanned as the short tempered sports star got ready to mash Beetlejuice like a potato.

"It'll make me feel better!" She snapped, her arms and hands trembling.

"Let it go, Lynn." Lincoln said, grabbing hold of her bat. "He'll be punished enough when we get home. He'll be stuck in my head all day….and I've got a ton of homework to do."

"Don't I get a little credit for saving yer neck…?" The beaten ghoul asked, slowly sitting up. Before anyone else could answer, Leni walked over to him and gave him a little hug.

"Did that help?" She asked sweetly.

"Not really…" He grumbled. Leni sighed lightly, then looked at her sisters, who were giving her odd looks.

"What?" She asked with a shrug. "He may be a big meanie and really disgusting, but he did help Lincoln."

"He was also the one responsible for putting Lincoln into that situation in the first place." Lisa commented.

"Doesn't mean he doesn't deserve something nice if he does something nice." Leni argued.

"Sis, I agree and all, but…." Luna started, but then she sighs. "Tell ya what, when BJ here does something nice, like legit nice, then fine. But if that something nice comes from him doing something rotten first, then no way. Ok?" Leni thought about it for a moment, then nods.

"Ok. That sounds fair."

"With that out of the way….Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" Lincoln called out.

"For once, I may be glad to go back…" The ghost groaned as he disappeared back into Lincoln.

* * *

 _AN: Enjoying the story so far? I hope so. But I'd like to try something. With each chapter, I wanna use a different chant to free Beetlejuice from Lincoln, like how Darkwing has a different line each time he does his "I am the terror that flaps in the night" bit. Anyone who would like to offer a suggestion for an incantation may feel free to leave a comment and, if I like it, I'll use it in the story and credit you in the beginning. Next chapter or two will have BJ and Lydia hanging out with some of the Loud kids, as well as some of Lincoln's friends. Don't really have a set plan for this one or a single story line (yet). Just gonna run with it as long as I have ideas. Thank you for you time and good fortune to you all until we meet again._


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: Sorry it's taken a while to get this chapter out. With moving and needing to work on a new house, things have been kinda hectic. Things will still be kind of slow, but I'll try and get more chapters of Lincoln-Juice and Lincoln Loud and the Ghoul School as I can get them done. This chapter will feature more Lydia interactions with a few of the sisters. Next time with feature Beetlejuice and Lincoln's friends._

* * *

Ch 5

"Ok...we just need to install these Neitherworld firewalls…" Lydia said, wearing oven mitts as she plugs a usb from a blazing brick wall into Lisa's computer. "And few extra pieces of antivirus software, and we should be good to begin our search."

"Fascinating...I suspect the pun like nature of this Neitherworld will drive me up the wall before this is over." Lisa commented as she typed on her computer. "If Beetlejuice doesn't manage it first."

"He's not so bad once you get to know him." Lydia told her, pulling off her mitts.

"With all due respect, Miss Deetz…"

"Please, Lisa, call me Lydia."

"As you wish, Lydia...that ruffian is utterly incorrigible. He has no filter, no conscience, no respect for life, limb, privacy, personal space…"

"True. But he can be a really sweet guy too, to a good friend." Lydia replied.

"Forgive me if I find that impossible to believe." Lisa grumbled. "This may take some time, Lydia, so why not make yourself at home?" The older goth girl nodded as she started to leave, Lily walking in at the same time.

"Oh! Hello there." Lydia said with a smile, picking her up. "What's your name?" Lily smiled back and babbled an answer.

"That would be the youngest of our siblings and my roommate, Lily." Lisa explained, not turning her head from the screen.

"Hello Lily. I'm Lydia."

"Wyda!" Lily exclaimed with a giggle.

"Exactly. Wyda." Lydia said, helping her into her crib.

"Poo poo!" Lydia would have gone pale if she weren't already pale.

"Don't worry. She, thankfully, hasn't actually soiled her diaper. She is rather fond of that phrase is all."

"Oh. Whew…" Lydia wiped her forehead, just as Lily grabbed her nose, giggling. "Hehehe. Don't need to do that this time, Lily." She said, gently pulling her nose free and passing the infant her teddy. "Why don't you play with your little friend while Lisa works?" The Loud toddler seemed just fine with this, hugging her stuffed bear closely. The goth girl giggled lightly before she left Lisa's room. She figured, as long as she was going to be there for a while, she may as well get to know the family. She spoke to Lucy frequently already, and would no doubt be spending most of her time with Lisa and Lily, so she should start elsewhere. Why not the one closely connected to her friend first? She turned toward the open door at the end of the hall, where the converted linen closet that was currently Lincoln's room resided.

"Come on kid...why don't we go out to that Gus' place you keep going on about?" Beetlejuice asked through Lincoln's mouth as the boy sat at his desk, pouring over a textbook and notebook full of math formulas.

"Nope." Lincoln replied simply, continuing to work on his homework.

"Mall?"

"No."

"The Park?"

"Not happening."

"What about the library!? You can study there!"

"With you? Not a chance."

"COME ON, KID! I'm bored out of my mind!" BJ complained loudly.

"You should have thought of that before you made my teacher believe I was going through puberty." Lincoln told him, still focused on his work. "I gave you a chance and you threw it away."

"If you don't let me out, or do something fun with me inside you….I'm gonna start singing." Beetlejuice warned him.

"Careful, Lincoln. Beetlejuice doesn't have the greatest voice." Lydia warned him with a giggle.

"Hey Babes! Think you can convince the warden here to let me out?" Her ghostly friend pleaded.

"I dunno, BJ…" She replied, in a teasing sort of tone. "It sounds to me like you haven't been a model prisoner…"

"Come on, Lyds...this kid has been doing homework since he got home...I'm gonna go nuts soon!"

"Ok. Ok. Calm down, Beej. Let me talk to Lincoln." The one son turned his head to look at her. "Lincoln, would you be so kind as to let Beetlejuice out for a little while?"

"Why should I after what he pulled earlier today?"

"I'm sure he deserved it, but I wanted to talk with you for a bit, and I figured you wouldn't want him kibitzing the whole time." Lydia explained.

"You make a good point...but I want his word that he won't bother my sisters while he's out." Lincoln said.

"No problem kid. I promise, upon my honor as a spooker and a gentleghost, that I will not bother your sisters this evening." Beetlejuice said, though everyone in the room thought he was lying through Lincoln's teeth.

"If he does bother your sisters, Lincoln, you can punish me right alongside him." Lydia offered, getting a very surprised look from the middle Loud.

"Wait...what?" The ghost with the most asked.

"Are...you sure about that?" Lincoln certainly didn't want involve her in the punishment, but Lydia nodded with confidence. "Well, if you're sure…

This is a choice I may just deride

for he is a thorn in my side

You best be careful with the abuse

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."

"Lyds, what're ya thinking!?" BJ asked of Lydia as soon as he emerged from Lincoln's head.

"I have confidence that you can behave, Beetlejuice." Lydia replied with a shrewd smile. "So why don't you try getting to know them and getting along with them?" Beetlejuice opened his mouth for a moment, then closed it. Then an idea. He got along well with Lana and Luan already. He could hang with one of them and all would be well. He floated out of the room, Lincoln still confused about Lydia's decision.

"Be honest, Lydia...do you really have that much faith in Beetlejuice?"

"I really do, Lincoln." She replied with a nod. "Well...maybe not so much in that he can behave, but in that he does care about me. He wouldn't want to see me get punished for something he did."

"Not that I think I could even if he did…" Lincoln muttered to himself.

"Come again?"

"Don't worry about it. So, what did you want to talk about?"

"I was hoping you could tell me more about yourself." Lydia explained, sitting on the edge of Lincoln's bed. "Lucy never really talked much about her family when we chatted, and since I'm going to be becoming a regular here for as long as you and BJ are bound, it would be a good idea for me to make friends with the family."

"Hmmm. Alright, though there isn't much to tell." Lincoln explained, closing his text book. He wouldn't admit it to Beetlejuice, since it was really irritating the poltergeist, but he was getting tired of doing his homework as well. Lydia just looked at him with a skeptical expression, suggesting she didn't really believe that. "Well, I'm really interested in comic books and video games….I build model kits as a hobby…I help out my sisters a lot."

"That I did hear about from Lisa and Lucy." Lydia cut in. "Sounds to me like you're a rather nice guy."

"Well, I try. But it gets kinda tough, especially with ten sisters who sometimes all need your attention at once."

"Good grief. Kinda makes me glad to be an only child."

"But you know what? I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love my sisters deeply and I know they love me back, even in the roughest of times."

"Awww. That's so sweet Lincoln." Lydia said with a smile. Her eyes then fell upon Bun Bun by his pillow. "Hmm? What's this?"

"Oh. That's Bun Bun, one of my best friends." Lincoln explained, smiling at the little stuffed rabbit.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but aren't you a little old for a stuffed animal?"

"I've heard that quite a bit, but Bun Bun is very special to me. I've had him ever since I was a baby." He said as he picked up the plush rabbit and hugged it.

"Hmmm. I can understand that." Lydia said, smiling lightly at him. "And it is kind of cute...not that cute is really my thing." She added hastily, a light blush on her face Lincoln didn't see.

"Really? Because I think you're kind of cute." Lincoln told her before he hastily covered his mouth, his cheeks bright red.

"R...really?" A surprised Lydia asked. That was a compliment she rarely, if ever heard. She had been called a lot of other things; weird, creepy, a number of other things by Claire Brewster that she didn't even want to think about, but cute. That was a new one on her. "T...thank you, Lincoln."

"Y...Y...You're welcome." He replied, chuckling in a bashful manner. There was a short period of awkward silence between the two before Lincoln asked. "So..according to your HeadSpace, you're interested in photography?"

"Yeah. Mostly the more macabre things; graveyards, gothic architecture, pictures from my trips to the Neitherworld."

"You've been to this Neitherworld place?" Lincoln asked in surprise.

"Sure. Plenty of times." Lydia answered. "If I had thought to bring my pictures, I'd show you."

"What's it like there?"

"Pretty chaotic, compared to the real world." She explained, crossing her legs in front of her. Just then, Luna started to practice...very, very loudly. "Well, compared to my end of the world, I mean…" She amended with a giggle, covering her ears. "And practically everything there is very pun-ny and literal."

"Like when I said 'give me strength' earlier today and Beetlejuice literally gave me super strength?"

"Something like that. Or if Luna were shredding her guitar there, it would literally be shredded."

"Oooh...Luna would NOT like that." Lincoln commented with a soft laugh.

"Luna wouldn't like what?" Leni asked, standing in the doorway.

"Hey Leni. What's up?" Lincoln turned toward his kind, but ditzy older sister.

"The ceiling?" She replied, a little confused before she seemed to remember something. "Oh! Wait. Mom said she needed you to take out the trash."

"Is it that time already?" Lincoln shrugged as he stood up. "I'll be back in a moment, Lydia."

"Ok, Lincoln. I'll be here." The dark haired young lady said as the middle Loud left.

"I have to say; I love that little sarong of yours." Leni complimented with a smile. "Red isn't really my color, but you wear it so well."

"Er...thank you Leni."

"But the rest of your look needs a little work.." The well meaning blonde looked at Lydia with a contemplative expression, making Lydia a little nervous. "A little nail polish, a touch of lipstick…"

"I...uh...wouldn't worry about it. I'm not that fussed with how I look." Lydia said, holding her hands up between her and Leni. "No need to go through the trouble."

"Oh, it's no trouble at all." Leni said with a cheerful smile. "In fact, makeovers are fun."

"M...makeover? Now hold-" Before she could finish that thought, Lola appeared seemingly out of nowhere with a big grin on her face.

"Did somebody say 'makeover'?" The pageant princess asked, her eyes wide and twinkly.

"No!" Lydia shouted hastily.

"I did." Leni said.

"Good enough for me! I'll go get my kit!" Lola chirped before she ran off at speeds usually associated with cartoon roadrunners.

"Don't I get a say in this?" An increasingly irritated Lydia inquired.

"What's the matter, Lydia?" Leni asked, her smile fading. "Don't you want to look extra pretty?"

"I told you, Leni, I don't really care about….wait….extra pretty?" Lydia's annoyance was momentarily overtaken by confusion. What did she mean by that?

"Well, yeah. You're really pretty as it stands." Leni said, leaning a little closer to her, a genuine smile on her face. "But a little tweak here and there, a little something to enhance what you naturally have, and you could be extra pretty." Lydia couldn't help but blush at this. First Lincoln called her cute, now Leni told her she was pretty. About that time, Lola had returned with her makeup kit, still grinning broadly. "So...what do you say?"

"Well….I guess-" She started to say, but that seemed good enough for the two sisters. They descended upon her like a pair of hyena on a carcass; Leni working on Lydia's nails and Lola doing a little makeup work on her face. The goth girl squirmed and struggled a bit, but that didn't slow them down for a second.

"What do you think, Leni? Glorious midnight or deep plum number 2?" Lola asked, having a hard time choosing between two lipstick tubes.

"Oh, plum, definitely." Leni replied, applying some dark nail polish to her now manicured nails. Lola nodded and applied a little of the lipstick to her lips.

"Ah yes. Perfect." Lola commented, sticking the tube into Lydia's pocket. "You can keep it, Lydia. That shade isn't my style." The pageant princess looks up at Lydia's hair and considered it for a moment. She then snapped her fingers and reached up to pull out her hair band, letting her black hair hang down to her shoulders. "There we go."

"Oh, good call, Lola." The second oldest sister told her little sister with a smile as she finished up with Lydia's nails. She looked over their handy work with a critical eye, then nodded. "I think we've outdone ourselves this time."

"So little done, but it does sooo much." Lola agreed as she showed their guest a hand mirror. The goth girl was speechless for a moment as she gazed at her reflection. She didn't really want to admit it, but they were right. She did look great with just a few small changes. The dark purple lipstick, the black nail polish, the vague hint of blush, simply letting her hair down; it all worked. Just then, Lincoln returned from his chore of taking out the trash.

"Sorry it took so long. In a family this size, taking out the garbage can take some t-" He froze mid sentence as he laid eyes on Lydia, who looked back at him.

"Oh! Lincoln. Your timing is perfect." Leni said, gesturing to the newly made up girl between her and the little tattletail. "What do you think?"

"Ba-ba-ba-ba…" Was all the white haired lad could manage before he passed out.

"Lincoln…?" Lydia asked in concern when suddenly, the room turned into a boxing ring. Beetlejuice appeared suddenly dressed as a referee, standing over the unconscious boy.

"1….2….skip a few, 10!" The goofing ghoul counted, followed by the ringing of a bell.

"And the winner, by knockout, is….Lydia Deetz!" Lola proudly declared through an announcer's mic, holding up the goth girl's hand. Lydia was really blushing now as their surroundings returned to normal. "...what just happened?" Lola asked, completely lost now.

"I think that means Lydia here is a knockout." Leni said with a big smile.

"Oh, come on..stop guys…" The pale girl said, blushing even more and giggling shyly. Just then, Lincoln started to stir.

"Hey, Linky...are you ok?" Lola asked, kneeling beside her older brother. She helped him sit up, where he caught sight of Lydia again.

"...you look good…" He commented lamely, still pretty out of it.

"...thanks." Lydia replied coyly.

"I think our work here is done, Leni." A smiling Lola said, moving Lincoln so he was leaning against the wall. She and her second oldest sister went on their way, leaving Lydia to help Lincoln snap out of his daze. A few pats to the cheek were all it took.

"Whoa...sorry, Lydia…"

"It's ok Lincoln." She said with a smile. "It's pretty flattering actually...never had a guy react like that to me…"

"You're kidding me." Lincoln looked shocked.

"Hehehe. It's true. Guys never really paid attention to me...well, apart from Prince Vince." Lydia admitted. "He's one of my many friends from the Neitherworld. A nice guy, if kind of a downer. Used to always have a storm cloud following him because he was so depressed."

"I'd really like to visit this Neitherworld sometime...well, without becoming a permanent resident, naturally."

"Naturally." Lydia replied. "Well, with Beetlejuice, it wouldn't be hard. You could probably just ask him and he would take you there."

"Yeeeeah no…." Lincoln replied. "I still don't trust that guy any further than Lily could throw him."

"Fair enough...but it really would benefit you two to cooperate." Lydia said with a light shake of her head. "BJ wouldn't be so bored and he might not be inclined to harass you so much."

"...you see, now you're making a convincing argument."

"GET OUT!" Lola screeched from her room, the stripe suit wearing ghost hastily flying out into the hall.

"Yeesh...what a grouch…" The specter grumbled.

"What did you do?" Lincoln asked in an accusatory voice.

"Nothing! I just split a beetle with my buddy Lana and Princess What's Her Face goes nuts!" Beetlejuice replied defensively.

"Beetlejuice….feeding beetles to kids!?" Lydia frowned as she crossed her arms.

"Actually, Lana eats bugs on her own." Lincoln informed her. "It's her second favorite snack, next to mud pies."

"...oh." The goth girl slowly unfolded her arms.

"Kid after my own heart. Just like Luan." BJ said, pulling his own heart from his jacket pocket. "Speaking of, think I'll go pay her a visit, if Little Miss Loud Mouth won't let me see my littlest buddy."

"Isn't Luna angry at you too?" Lincoln inquired.

"The way she's playing, she'll never hear me come in."

"...unusually good point." Lincoln conceded as the filthy spirit flew off.

"And on that note, I should let you get back to your homework. It was good talking to you, Lincoln." Lydia said to him as she walked toward the door.

"Same to you. Talk to you later, Lydia." Lincoln replied,waving to her before he opened his text book back up.

Out in the hall, Lydia pondered who she should talk to next. Her answer came almost immediately as Lynn Jr had stepped up to the second floor, sipping from a milkshake. "Oh. Hey Lyds." She said cheerfully.

"Hi Lynn." Lydia replied with a smile. "Having a little snack?"

"Kinda. It's my evening protein shake." She explained as she continued to drink. "Gotta feed the muscles to make them mighty." The sporty Loud flexed one of her arms before kissing the muscle it made.

"Yes, I suppose so." The gothic gal replied, uncertain what else to say.

"So, do you play any sports, Lyds?"

"Not really. Sports aren't really my thing...though I do sometimes partake in miniature ghoul golf with Beetlejuice and the others…" Lydia answered.

"Meh. Mini golf is a bit too tame for my tastes." Lynn responded with a shrug. "Gimme something more energetic...more in my face...like tackle football, or hockey. But I gotta ask...how'd you ever end up friends with a creep like Beetle-breath?"

"Well, that's a story in and of itself. But if you have the time and would like to hear it…"

"Oh! Can I sit in on this one!?" Lana asked excited from the door to the room she and Lola shared.

"Sure Lana." Lydia replied with a soft giggle.

"Come on. Let's go into my room. We shouldn't be disturbed there." Lynn said, leading their new friend and her younger sister into her room. Lucy looked up from her poetry journal and smiled at the sight of Lydia.

"Evening." She said simply.

"Hello Lucy."

"Lydia's going to tell us how she met Beetlejuice!" Lana explained, looking ready to burst with excitement.

"Really? I'd like to hear that story, if I may."

"Of course. It's your room after all." The three Loud girls made themselves comfortable as Lydia pulled up a stool. "It was a few years ago when I first met BJ. I was at a kind of low point in my life at the time. My mother had died recently and my father had remarried, and I didn't really hit it off with my new step mother."

"Was she an evil step mother?" Lana asked, her head in her hands, giving Lydia her undivided attention.

"No. She was….nice. Or at least I could give her credit for trying to be nice. However, she didn't really understand me. No one did, outside of a very small circle of friends of mine back in Peaceful Pines. In a bleak mood, I turned to the only place where I felt I could find solace…"

"The void?" Lucy suggested.

"...not quite that far. The macabre. Scary stories. Movies. Graveyards. That kind of thing. One day, I stumbled upon a sort of business card while looking through a few old 'occult' books from the library. Honestly, they were as fake as a wooden nickel, but I digress. The only thing on the card was the name Betelguise. Needless to say, I was confused. Why would anyone put the name of a star on a card?"

"And you ended up saying it three times?" Lynn inquired, her straw making an annoying sucking sound as she tried to get the last little bit of shake from the bottom of the glass.

"In my attempt to make sense of it, yes. And when I did, he came into my life. I'll admit I was really scared at the time. I mean, this strange guy just appeared out of nowhere in my room. I'll never forget his first words to me. 'Back again after four hundred years. Ain't that a kick in the head?' And then he went and kicked his own head across the room." Lydia paused a moment to snicker as she remembered that, and to give the Louds a chance to laugh. "I think I might have laughed a little in spite of myself, and that seemed to encourage him. He just kept making pun after dark pun. I couldn't help but laugh. I never met someone who could make me smile like that in my darkest times, and I guess BJ never met someone so receptive of his monkeyshines, because he took a liking to me. We became fast friends from that moment on. Granted, that friendship wasn't without its….trials."

"What do you mean?" The tomboy twin questioned.

"BJ may have taken a liking to me, but he also took a liking to pranking my parents. During the first few months, I had to keep him on a short leash in the living world." Lydia explained, starting to walk around the room as she related her story. "It took me a full month alone to learn that saying his name three times summoned and dismissed him. Needless to say, when I did learn that, I decided to give him a time out. However, I also learned that I could also travel to his world, the Neither World, after speaking his name three times."

"Neither world?" Lucy sounded kind of confused.

"Is is scary there?" Lana added.

"That's what the afterlife is really called...and kinda. I'm pretty used to it, but there are some things there that still scare the pants off me. Like the Sandworms. Colossal worms with heads and mouths inside their mouths. Even Beetlejuice is terrified of them."

"Wicked…." Lucy commented quietly.

"Good to know, if the jerk gets on my nerves again…" Lynn said with a big grin.

"Still, that was a nice story. A guy comes along and cheers you up when you were down, and you became friends from there." Lana interjected with a smile.

"I think he was really trying to scare her, not entertain her." The ponytailed brunette argued cynically.

"You're probably right, Lynn. " Lydia admitted. "But his motive none withstanding, the end result gave me a laugh I desperately needed, as well as a friend I even more desperately needed."

"You desperately needed a friend? Go on." The athletic sister said with a disbelieving scoff.

"I'm serious. Back in school, I'm not very popular at all."

"Sigh. People just don't understand those who find comfort in the darkness." Lucy muttered loud enough for the others to hear.

"Preaching the choir on that one, Lucy. It doesn't help that the most popular girl in my town, Claire Brewster, makes it a point to pick on me every chance she gets; calling me a weirdo, ugly, bland, creepy..." Lydia's face turned into a frown as she remembered the snobbish girl from her hometown.

"Please tell me you siced Beetlejuice on her…" Lynn Jr said, not liking the sound of Claire already.

"Well...not outright...but I may have let him stay loose to cause a little mischief in her presence once or twice…." Lydia tried to play innocent, but the slight grin on her face gave her away.

"Hehehehe. I like your style." The sporty sister said after a hearty chuckle.

"That makes two of us." Lucy commented.

"Three you mean." Lana interjected.

"Thanks girls. Truth be told, I don't like getting Beetlejuice involved in something petty as revenge...but sometimes….sometimes...it is justified."

"Don't worry, Lydia. I don't think anyone thinks less of you in that case." Lucy said, hopping out of her coffin to put a hand on her shoulder.

"Nah. I personally would have socked her one, or gave her a serious wedgie if she pulled that nonsense on me...but sending Beetle-twerp to torment her...that's even better." Lynn agreed. "I think I understand why you're friends with the creep a bit better now...though I don't think we'll ever get along."

"Unfortunately, BJ has that effect on people."

"He's not that bad." Lana said in the poltergeist's defense.

"I must admit he is kind of growing on me, during the times he isn't tormenting my brother or sisters." Lucy admitted, turning to Lynn.

"You two can suit yourselves." Lynn told them. "But the less I see and hear of him, the better."

"Almost all of the Neitherworld would agree with you." The girl from Peaceful Pines said, getting everyone's attention. "His trouble making nature didn't really endear him to the dead either. Not to mention he sometimes breaks the laws of the afterlife."

"Then why don't they do anything about him?"

"Because he's very powerful, even by Neitherworld standards, and very tricky." Lydia explained. "He can usually worm his way out of trouble, or convince them it's easier to just avoid him rather than deal with him."

"Yeah, I can see that…" The ponytailed athlete commented with a nod and a frown.

"Lydia! The firewall has been installed! Your assistance please with the next phase." Lisa called out into the hall.

"Uh oh. Sounds like Lisa needs you." Lana pointed out.

"I better hurry then. It was nice talking to you all." Lydia said.

"Likewise." Lynn Jr responded.

"Same here. Hope to see you again soon, Lydia." Lana told him.

"Talk to you later, Lydia." Lucy said in a monotone. The gothic teen waved to the three Loud sisters before she hurried back to Lisa's room.


	6. Chapter 6

_AN: Special thanks to 1 for the incantation used in this chapter. Just needed the right occasion to use it in, and needed to make a minor adjustment to make it rhyme. This chapter was kind of a tough one to do, since I wanted to start up the main story of the fanfic, as well as introducing Beetlejuice to Lincoln's friends. Here's hoping it goes well._

* * *

Ch 6

"I thought school would never end…." Lincoln groaned the next afternoon as he walked out of the school building alongside Clyde at the end of the day. He had a really trying morning: he had to visit the school counselor for a 'fun' little chat about puberty, gym was especially rough, and they had a pop quiz near the end of class. And the whole time, he had Beetlejuice taunting him. All totalled, the middle son was physically and mentally drained.

'You're telling me.' The pranking poltergeist commented in Lincoln's head.

"You ok, Lincoln?" His best friend asked, noticing how he looked.

"...not really."

"The Beetle guy again?" Clyde whispered, to which Lincoln nodded in reply. "Why can't you just leave the guy home?"

"Leave a ghost with reality bending powers and a perchance for chaos unsupervised in our home?" Lincoln slowly looked toward Clyde as he said that.

"Point taken…" Clyde said, shuddering at the thought.

"Hey fellas." Liam called out as he, Rusty, Zach and Stella ran over to them.

"Hi guys!" Stella said.

"Hi everyone." Clyde said.

"Hey guys. What's up?" Lincoln inquired as he turned to his group of friends.

"Not a whole lot. We were just wondering what to do." Rusty commented.

'Oh great...the nerd squad returns…' Beetlejuice said grumpily in his head. 'Oh wait..who's the chick?' Lincoln frowned lightly at hearing the annoying ghost, but it did remind him of something.

"Guys, can I talk to you all for a moment?" Lincoln requested. "I need to tell you guys something."

"Is something wrong, buddy?" Zach asked, a little concerned, just like the rest of his friends.

"Kinda...it would be easier to tell and show you." He told them. "But not here…" He glanced around for a moment and noticed there was no one on the football field. He supposed there was no practice that day, but that suited him fine. "Come with me." He motioned the four boys and one girl to follow him, which did nothing to ease their concerns.

"Clyde, any idea what's up with Lincoln?" Stella asked, turning to the bespectacled boy.

"Yeah...but I don't really have all the details. It would be easier if Lincoln explains it." Clyde said. hurrying to follow his snow haired friend. Rusty, Liam, Zach and Stella were even more concerned than ever, but in the end, followed them both to the field. Lincoln made sure they were in the middle of the field, out of view of his classmates.

"Alright...this is going to sound really crazy...but it's true." Lincoln started, looking at the four worried looks focused on him. "I've been possessed."

"Possessed?" Zach asked, raising an eyebrow. "As in, by a ghost?" Lincoln nodded.

"...you worried us all that much over a joke!?" Stella scolded him, a frown on her face. Lincoln had expected this, so, without missing a beat, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice…."

"What's he saying?" Rusty asked.

"Beetlejuice? Sounds like a gross version of that stuff they serve at camp." Liam commented with a disgusted look.

"...Beetlejuice." Lincoln finished, his body starting to emit a bright light. When the light faded, Lincoln still stood, but Beetlejuice stood behind him with a grin on his face.

"Hey. How're ya doing?" He said to the kids, all of which (beside Clyde) too stunned to say anything. "Hey Clyde."

"Hey Beetlejuice…."

"This...this can't be real…" Stella said with a slight stammer of fear.

"Trust me, Stella. I wish it wasn't." Lincoln said with a sigh. "You see, Lucy and I accidentally summoned him into our home-"

"Accident nothing. I set it all up, Mr President." BJ interrupted him.

"-and when Lucy tried to remove him from our home…" The middle son continued, ignoring the stripe wearing spirit. "...his spirit ended up being bound to my body. Now he's taking up residence in my body, only able to come out when I say his name three times."

"I'm not sure if that's the scariest thing, or the most awesome thing ever." Zach commented in awe.

"Try annoying..." Lincoln grumbled.

"Try boring. This kid is as much fun as watching grass grow." Beetlejuice interjected, causing the grass around the one son to grow as high as corn stalks, obscuring him from the others. Clyde couldn't help but snicker a bit.

"See what I mean? And this kind of stuff is just when he's loose. When he's inside me, he's constantly talking to me in my head, or trying to speak out of my mouth." Lincoln continued to explain, moving the grass aside.

"So wait...when you got that strength in class..?" Rusty started to ask.

"All me." Beetlejuice said, rubbing his fingernails against his suit in a cocky manner.

"He also insulted Bison that day…" Lincoln said angrily, glaring at the poltergeist.

"Ok, so I made a mistake. I made up for it. I got rid of the guy for ya." The ghost replied.

"So….you have...a real ghost….sharing your body with you…?" Stella asked, trying to make sense of all this.

"That's right, kiddo. And until we figure this out, I'm here to stay."

"Which hopefully won't be long…" Lincoln added. "Lisa is on the job, with some help from our new friend, Lydia, to find a way to make Beetlejuice go away."

"Wow...this is kind of a lot ta take in, Linc." Liam said, shaking his head a bit.

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" Rusty asked, a frown appearing on his face now.

"I couldn't really find an opportunity to. Outside of my friends, namely you guys, and family, I don't want anyone else to know about Beetlejuice. I only let him out against Bison in self defense…." Lincoln responded. "...can you imagine how people would react if they knew that a ghost with his power and habit of being obnoxious was inside me?"

"...I don't know if I can handle this…." Stella said as she moved, shakily, over to the bleachers, her hand on her head.

"...something like that, I suppose." Zach said, his thumb directed toward Stella.

"I know how she feels. This news makes me as shaky as Maw's homemade jello…." Liam said, looking pretty scared.

"Well, with that out of the way, introductions are in order. Beetlejuice, my best friends: Zach, Liam, Rusty, Stella, and of course you remember Clyde. Everyone, Beetlejuice." Lincoln said.

"That's me. The ghost with the most." BJ bragged.

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice." Lincoln followed up, forcing the ghost back into him.

"So...he can't do anything while he's within you, right?" Liam asked nervously.

"No, other than trying to talk out of my mouth."

"What he said, shorty." BJ said, using the white haired boy's mouth.

"That's a relief…" The small farm boy said with a sigh.

"Hey...are you alright, Stella?" Zach asked, looking toward the trembling girl on the bench.

"Yeah….I'm fine…..I….just need to get home...see you guys later." She said hastily as she stood up and hurried away.

"What was that all about?" Rusty asked, scratching his head through his puffy hair.

"I think I know…" Lincoln answered sadly. "...I think Beetlejuice scared her off…"

"Awwww. Sorry to spoil things with your girlfriend, Mr President." BJ said in false sympathy.

"She's not my girlfriend…" Lincoln growled. "Just because I hang out with a girl doesn't mean she's my girlfriend."

"Besides, he has Ronnie Anne." Rusty pointed out.

"Hmm? Who's Ronnie Anne?" BJ inquired with a smirk inside his head.

"Thanks Rusty…" The one son grumbled sarcastically. "I was hoping we could have gotten rid of him without him ever learning about her…"

"Oh….sorry, buddy…"

"Oh, come on, Lil Linc…" BJ said. "You should introduce us sometime. We could chat over tea and I could tell her about how we're getting along...and how you're getting along with Lyds…" The ghost added with a sinister tone.

"...Do it and die all over again, Beetlejuice…." Lincoln whispered threateningly.

"Are they always like this?" Zach asked Clyde, looking somewhat amused.

"I have no idea." The african american boy replied with a shrug. "I assume as much though. Their arguments are usually in Lincoln's head when he's in public." He added as Lincoln and Beetlejuice continued their verbal war right in front of them.

* * *

The next few days, Lincoln started to notice Stella seemed to be avoiding him specifically. She still hung out with his friends, but when he came on the scene, she would make an excuse to leave. While the one son could understand why she would, it saddened him greatly. After all, it wasn't his fault that he had a ghost possessing him...kind of. Fortunately, his other friends still hung out with him, though they couldn't give him any more details about her reluctance to be around him. They didn't know themselves. What they could do, however, was attempt to cheer him up. And today, their latest attempts to brighten his mood was to bring him to the springtime fair; an annual event at Royal Woods celebrating the coming of spring. Local farmers (like Liam's family) come out to show off their livestock and springtime produce, carnival style games are set up in a sort of midway, as well as animal rides and a petting zoo, food vendors (including Flip) and food trucks come from all around to serve fair patrons, there was even a stage where local talent can come perform to entertain the citizens of the town. The boys were wandering down the makeshift midway, each carrying a snack of their own. "Looks like a lot of fun, eh, Lincoln?" Rusty inquired as he took a bite of his funnel cake. Lincoln didn't reply, looking at his corndog despite not really wanting to eat it.

"Come on, Linc..we know you're still upset about Stella…" Zach said, patting the saddened loud boy on the back.

"Hey. Don't remind the guy of his ex, guys." Beetlejuice said through the boy's mouth.

"...she's not my ex…" Lincoln groaned, not really having the energy to be really angry at his unwelcome tenant.

"Ignore Beetlejuice, buddy." Clyde said as he polished off his cotton candy. "Let's go try the knock down the bottle game. Maybe winning a prize will cheer you up."

"Heh. It's cute the way you think those games can be won." Beetlejuice commented as the group of friends brought Lincoln over to the game stand. Meanwhile, from behind a dart throw game, a figure in a trenchcoat, big hat and an even bigger black nose was watching them. He snickered maniacally for a moment before he replaced one of the balloons on the dart board with one of his own, then slunk away.

"Step right up kids, and try your luck." Flip said as he leaned against the counter of the game stand.

"Flip? I thought you'd be running your mobile Flippy stand." Clyde said, with a raised eyebrow. The greedy old man just grinned and pointed beside his game stand, where said cart was parked.

"It's called making two bucks fer every buck kid. It's how you get ahead in life." Flip explained. "That said, ya gonna try your luck, or have a Flippy? If neither, move along kids. Ya bother me." Lincoln lifelessly pulled a dollar from his pocket and placed it on the counter. The selfish gas station owner stuffed the bill into his pocket and handed him three old baseballs. The white haired boy threw each baseball half heartedly, barely even disturbing the bottles. "Better luck next time, Lincoln."

"Let me give if a try." Rusty said as he paid his dollar. He took careful aim, wound up and threw the first ball. It went wide to the right, which made Flip burst out laughing. His next throw went over the stack of milk bottles.

"Hey kid. Want a tip? Aim." Flip said through his grating laugh. Spurred on with a desire to shut him up, Rusty wound up and threw the last ball with all his might. The ball struck the center of the bottom row of bottles...and bounced off. "Well, you got aiming down. Pity your noodle arms couldn't even tip a bottle over."

"Yer askin' fer it now." Liam growled as he stepped forth to try. Each ball he threw was right on target, but they bounced off the bottles just like Rusty. "What in tarnation….?"

"Psst. Mr President….that guy is cheating." Beetlejuice whispered.

"Well, duh…" Lincoln replied sourly and quietly.

"It's the old use cement filled bottles to keep them from falling over trick. A classic." The pestering poltergeist explained. "In short, no one in your group stands a prayer at knocking them down...without a little help…"

"I'm not letting you out…" The white haired Loud replied flatly.

"I'm not asking you too...well, ok, I was...but I got another idea. I'll loan you a little bit of power to teach Wimpy here to play fair against the host of the Ghost with the Most." BJ offered quietly as Zach took a turn at the game. "What do you say?" Lincoln had to think about this for a moment. Flip WAS really irritating him right now, and it would be good to get him back. Not only that, but Lincoln would be able to control what happened, so what could go wrong?

"...ok. But no tricks." Lincoln warned. "At least not against us."

"Uh oh. Look out. Here comes Samson!" Flip taunted as Clyde stepped forth, slamming a dollar on the counter. LIncoln crossed his arms in front of him was he watched his best friend picked up the first baseball. He waited until the bespectacled boy hurled the spheroid at the bottles, covertly pointing a finger at the ball. A ray of magic shot from it and slipped around Flip to engulf the ball. The moment it made contact with the bottles, they literally exploded with a loud bang. All the kids and the cheating store owner ducked at the sound, rising slowly after a few seconds to see what happened. When the dust cleared, there was no sign of the bottles. "Huh!? That's impossible!" Flip shouted.

"Whoa. Way to go, Clyde!" Rusty said, giving his friend a hearty pat on the back.

"Guess I don't know my own strength." Clyde commented with a chuckle. Lincoln smiled lightly, not bothering to tell his friend what really happened.

"Bull honkey! I know you cheated." Flip snapped.

"How, exactly, did Clyde cheat, Flip?" Lincoln asked with a smirk. Flip opened his mouth for a moment, then quickly closed. He couldn't admit that the game was rigged, or he would have been in deep soup.

"...just take your prize and get lost…." He grumbled, handing Clyde a big stuffed rhino.

"Nice one, buddy." Lincoln said, giving his friend the thumbs up.

'You weren't half bad either, Blaster Master.' BJ commented in Lincoln's head. Just then, there was the pop of a balloon and the sound of people screaming. Lincoln and his friends turned to see people running from a cluster of tiny snakes, which were chasing after him.

"Beetlejuice…" Lincoln growled warningly.

"Hey! That wasn't me." Beetlejuice said, sounding offended. "I mean, I'd like to take credit for that, but I can't."

"You're sure you didn't put a little something extra in when I used your powers?"

"If I could do that, don't you think I'd be convincing you to use my powers more often!?"

"...good point." Lincoln muttered. "But if it wasn't you….?"

"It was probably an isolated incident." Clyde commented with a shrug.

"...I hope you're right, Clyde…" Lincoln said, more to himself than his friend.

* * *

Not far away, Stella was trying to enjoy a candy apple while she browsed the various stands showing the beautifully grown fruits and vegetables of the local farmers. The keyword being trying, since she was as down as Lincoln. She felt really bad with how she was avoiding him, but each time she thought she would go talk to him, she would be overcome with terror and force herself to find a way out. She sighed to herself as she tossed her half eaten apple into the trash. She was considering just going home when she heard some music from the main stage. She went to investigate and found Luna, her girlfriend Sam Sharp, and the rest of her bandmates getting set up and practicing. She smiled lightly as she walked up to the stage for a listen. They had just finished their first set of practice when Luna spotted Stella. "Hey there, luv." Luna said in greeting. "Stella, am I right?"

"Mmhmm." Stella replied. "And you must be Luna Loud. Your brother told me a lot about you."

"Lincoln's told me quite a bit about you too." Luna said, setting her guitar down, her smile fading. "'Specially that you've been keeping your distance from him." She continued quietly, sitting on the edge of the stage. Stella looks down at the ground, rubbing her left arm a bit. "What's up with that?"

"...can we talk about this someplace more private…?"

"Sure thing...be back in a moment, mates." Luna called back to her bandmates before she took Stella's hand and walked with her around behind the stage. "Alright. You got a story to tell, and I wanna hear it. So go ahead."

"...Honestly, Luna...it isn't Lincoln...not at all...it's because of that ghost...Beetle-whatever his name is…" Stella admitted, unable to look at her.

"Hmmm...I could kinda see that...guess Lincoln introduced him to you lot?" The raven haired girl nodded.

"He thought it was the thing to do...and he was right. But the thing is..." Stella closed her eyes as she mumbled the next couple words unintelligibly.

"Come again, mate?"

"...I have a crippling fear of ghosts…" Stella confessed quietly. "...it never usually bothered me much, since I knew...thought ghosts weren't real. But meeting a real ghost...possessing my best friend...just being near him made my skin crawl and scared the life out of me." Luna listened quietly (very unusual for her) with her arms crossed as she leaned against the back wall of the stage in a relaxed manner. "I've been wanting to talk to Lincoln about it...but every time I get near him, I get too scared…"

"I see...I get where yer coming from, Stella. Beetlejuice possessed me too fer a little bit. Used me to play a prank on my little bro." Luna told her, wincing a bit as she remembered that moment. "I know the grim grinning ghost is bad news."

"But it's not fair to Lincoln for me to treat him like he's the one scaring me…" Stella said. "He isn't doing anything...even the ghost hasn't really done anything….yet." Hearing her say that brought a smile back to Luna. She could really see why she was friends with Lincoln.

"You know what the problem may be?" Luna asked.

"What?"

"You're trying to fight this battle alone. Nothing wrong with that, but fear is a mighty tough foe. And I'm sure your buds have your back, right?"

"Yeah...but it's such an embarrassing fear…" Stella told her.

"Tell ya what, Stella. I'll be your backup on this one." Luna said with a smile, putting her hand on her shoulder. "We'll go find Lincoln and we can explain what's what to him. Sound good?" The young lady had to think about this for a moment, but then she smiled and nodded lightly. "Thatta girl. Now let's go-" Before Luna could finish her thought, she was interrupted by the sound of screaming. "What in the bloody 'eck was that!?" The two girls peeked around from the back of the stage building to see what could only be described as chaos: people being chased by watermelons with teeth, balloons trying to carry kids away, and a police officer being pelted by floating pies that replenished themselves after each splat. Things weren't much better on stage. Luna's bandmates were being attacked by wires, cables and microphones, with Chunk trying to fend them off. Sam had her legs wrapped up with the cable of a mic that was hissing like a snake, complete with a mouth full of sharp fangs. Before it could strike, however, Luna had grabbed it and hurled it against the wall, causing the mic to shatter and the cable to fall limp.

"Whew...thanks Luna…" Sam said as she freed herself from the electrical wire.

"Welcome, mate." Luna replied, giving her a soft kiss on the cheek before she turned her attention to her fellow musicians. "What's going on here?"

"Yer guess is as good as mine, Luna." Chunk replied as he tied a cable into a tight knot to keep it from moving again. "We were just gettin' ready for the next song, when all the sudden the world went loopy." Luna frowned as she joined her roadie in dealing with the living cords, along with Sam. Stella just watched from the sidelines, uncertain what to make of any of this. At least, not until she heard a strange, psychotic laugh. She turned her head just in time to see someone in a trenchcoat and hat hobbling away hurriedly. While it was impossible to see who was in said outfit, Stella's mind immediately went to the only one she knew with the power to do this kind of stuff.

"...Beetlejuice." She whispered angrily.

"You say something, miss?" Sam asked as they had finished tying the last of the electrical cables together.

"Luna, come with me! I think I know what's going one!" Stella called out as she lept off the stage and stormed off in search of Lincoln. Luna looked between the angry little girl and her friends and girlfriend. While they looked utterly perplexed, Luna had a feeling she knew what Stella was talking back.

"I'll be back in a bit, mates. Be safe." She said rapidly before she ran off after her.

* * *

Moments earlier, Lincoln and his four friends were standing near the pony ride area, watching as Liam took a ride around the enclosure. Lincoln had to admit he was feeling a little bit better now, and even Beetlejuice seemed content for the moment, since he had a chance to cause a little mischief (even if it was for a good deed). The white haired boy was considering going back to the midway to try a few more games when he heard the screams coming from the place where the stage was set. "What was that?" Clyde asked, turning his head.

"Sounds like screaming." Zach said.

"Wasn't me!" Beetlejuice said hastily.

"Think we should check it out?" Rusty asked, though he sounded like he didn't want to.

"You guys stay here...I'll go have a look." Lincoln said. Out of all of his friends, he felt he would probably be the safest to go investigate, since he did at least have Beetlejuice on his side and the pugnacious spirit wouldn't let him get seriously hurt. The middle Loud ran off to investigate the screaming, only to find Stella and Luna running toward them. "Luna! Stella! Are you two ok? What's all the-?"

"Where is he, Lincoln!?" Stella demanded to know, her anger clear on her face.

"Huh? Who do you-?"

"Beetlejuice, Linc. Where is he?" Luna elaborated, looking just as upset.

"Right here. Where he's been all day." Lincoln responded, pointing at his own head, looking lost.

"Bro, be honest with us." Luna said, crossing her arms. "We just saw all kinds of stuff that only Beetlejuice could pulled off."

"But I'm innocent..." Beetlejuice objected. "...this time."

"For once, he's telling the truth." Lincoln said in his possessor's defense. "I haven't let him out all day."

"Then how do you explain what we saw!?" Stella snapped, her anger and fear starting to crossover one another.

"Stella, calm down a sec." Luna said, reaching out to her, but she stepped out of her reach and got right in Lincoln's face.

"Melons chasing folks like rabid dogs! Kidnapping balloons! Wires coming to life! Not to mention I SAW him running away!" She shouted.

"Wait...you never saw you saw him." Luna commented, looking confused.

"That's impossible." BJ added, sounding irritated.

"Once more, he's right." Lincoln confirmed nervously. He hadn't seen Stella like this before. "Beetlejuice can't use his powers while he's in me, unless I allow it. And as I said, he hasn't been let out of me all day."

"A likely story!" Stella scoffed. "Who else do you know who could cause that kind of trouble!?"

"...an admittedly fair point." Lincoln conceded. "...you said you saw Beetlejuice at the scene, right?" The dark haired girl nodded. "Could you describe what you saw?"

"Well...I only saw him from behind…" Stella had to admit. "But he was wearing an old trenchcoat and hat, like detectives wore in old movies...and I remember his insane cackling laugh…"

"Hey! I'll give you cackle, but insane? I'm insulted!" Beetlejuice said in a huff.

"A trenchcoat and hat?" Lincoln asked calmly. "That's it? I'm sorry, Stella, but that doesn't really sound a lot like it could have been Beetlejuice."

"He's got a point, little dudette." Luna interjected.

"It was Beetlejuice! I know it! And I'll prove it!" Stella shouted before she ran off.

"Stella! Wait!" Lincoln called out, but she was already too far away to hear.

"Go after her, little dude…" Luna said, looking over at the determined young girl with worry. "Something happened back there, and if it really wasn't BJ who did it, we may have ourselves a problem.."

"No need to tell me twice." The one son replied before chasing after Stella.

* * *

"You think everything is alright?" Liam asked as he climbed off the pony he had been riding.

"I dunno, Liam. Something odd is going on." Clyde said as he shook his head. "It's probably nothing...or at least we can hope. Until we know for sure, it's best we stay put." As they were talking, not far away, the trenchcoated figure was watching them, chuckling madly under his breath.

"Oh, this is going to be good…" Said a high pitched voice from under the coat and hat. "I always was fond of horsing around." He quipped as he pointed over at the pony enclosure. A ray of magic shot from his finger and struck the small equines without the boys' notice.

"Just wish I knew what was happening…" Zach said anxiously. Just then, Liam was grabbed by one of the pony, who was glaring into the little farm boy's eyes with malice.

"So. You think you can just ride us whenever you like, huh?" The colt asked in a gruff voice. "WIthout so much as a please or a thank you?"

"Uh….what…?" Liam asked, confused and worried.

"Well, how would you like it if we rode you around?" The pony asked, as his fellow equines grabbed a saddle, bit and reins.

"We gotta do something…" Zach said.

"I have a crazy idea." Rusty said before he cleared his throat. "Hey! Look at that big pile of hay over there!" He declared, pointing off in a random direction.

"Really!? Where!?" The enchanted horses all turned their heads, dropping Liam as they looked. In a flash, Clyde and Zach grabbed their little friend and fled the enclosure. "Hey!" The four steeds ran after them, but the stopped right at the fence. "What are you stopping for?"

"We can't leave the pasture…"

"Ahh horse feathers…"

"Whew...that was close fellas. Much obliged." Liam said to his friends as he tried to calm down.

"Anytime, pal." Rusty told him. Just then, they heard hysterical cackling not far from them.

"Hahahahahaahahaha! That was hilarious! I'm having the time of my afterlife!" The trenchcoated figure laughed.

"Afterlife!? Beetlejuice!" Rusty yelled, frowning at him.

"Hold up, Rusty...that doesn't sound like him at all…" Clyde said, looking inquisitively at the stranger. Then he noticed Stella sneaking up behind him. "Huh?"

"Aha!" Stella exclaimed as she swiped the hat from the stranger. "Gotcha B….AAAAAAH!" She screamed in horror when she spotted what was really under the hat. Instead of the troublesome ghost, she found a hideous clown face with a huge nose, red painted lips with huge, misshapen teeth, and puffy cotton candy-ish hair. On his head was a purple and green hat that looked like a cross between a witch's hat and a jester cap.

"You're not Beetlejuice!" Zach declared as Stella ran over to the boys in fright.

"Brilliant deduction, Sherlock!" The clown said sarcastically. "I'm even better. I am Scuzzo the Clown, the funniest ghost in the Neitherworld!"

"A….Another ghost…?" Stella asked, a tremble in her voice.

"What are you doing here?" Clyde inquired, pretty scared himself.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Scuzzo replied with a sinister smirk.

"...yes. That's why I asked." The african american boy said in an irritated manner.

"Well, I would tell you...but then you'd need to disappear afterwards...for good." The spooky clown warned them with a cruel snicker, making the five children huddle together, shivering. "On second thought, you'll need to disappear anyway, so stinks to be you." He added, laughing his head off as he stepped closer to the kids.

"Scuzzo...I should have known…" Beetlejuice whispered as Lincoln glared at the clown's back. The young man had heard his crazed laughter and snuck over to see what was up, hiding behind a few barrels. "That creep is horning in on my act…"

"And he's going after my friends…." Lincoln growled. He could see the terrified looked on his friends' faces, and the tears in Stella's eyes. It was making Lincoln's blood boil.

"...you thinking what I'm thinking, Lincoln?" BJ asked quietly, just as the boy rose from his hidden place and ran up behind the clown ghost bearing down on his friends.

"Hey!" He shouted, getting Scuzzo's attention away from his frightened friends. "Get away from them!"

"Oh? And who's gonna make me, snow cone?" The ghastly harlequin inquired, putting his hands on his overgrown hips.

"I'm warning you…" The one son said, his hands clenched tightly into fists. "If you don't leave them alone and get lost...I'll summon HIM!"

"Him? Who's him!?" Scuzzo asked with an amused smirk.

"Is he really going to…?" Rusty whispered to the others.

"I think he is.." Clyde responded quietly.

"Though he's a pain to me and my sisters

He will make you pay, Mister!

The ghost with the most will cook your goose!

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, BEETLEJUICE!" Lincoln screamed furiously as he started to glow. Scuzzo blinks in surprise before covering his eyes. The moment he was distracted, Clyde, Zach, Liam, Rusty and Stella took the chance to get out of dodge and take cover. When the light faded, Beetlejuice stood beside the boy who summoned him, grinning as he looked at the clown before him.

"Beetlejuice…." Scuzzo said, grinning widely to Lincoln's surprise.

"Scuzzo. Long time no see." Beetlejuice replied in a manner that was almost friendly. "What brings you here? They finally get tired of your bad comedy in the Neitherworld?"

"Oh, I just came by to see you, old friend. I have a little gift for you." Scuzzo said with a snicker, reaching behind his back. Lincoln got clear of his possessor as Beetlejuice rolled up his sleeves, ready to do battle with the clown. The ghost goof quickly drew a seltzer bottle from behind his back and sprayed it at BJ. The ghost with the most held up his hand try and stop the flow as he got splashed and covered in the water. The strangely perfumed water.

"...wait. His idea of attacking is spraying water on someone…?" Clyde asked with a raised eyebrow.

"...I think we may have overestimated this guy…" Zach said, starting to feel a little silly for being scared of this ghoulish fool. BJ, on the other hand, sniffed the air, a horrifying realization coming to the pranking poltergeist.

"GAAAAAH!" Beetlejuice screamed. "Soap and water!" He frantically tried to brush the soapy water off him, just making things worse. Lincoln and all of his friends had to face palm at this. Scuzzo was laughing loudly as BJ ran past him to dive into the nearest pig pen, startling the pigs within.

"Note to self…" Lincoln muttered to himself. "...If Beetlejuice bothers you, threaten with soap and water."

"So...you wanna fight clean, do ya!?" The irate Beetlejuice asked as he rose from the hog waller, steam rising from his head. He grabbed the nearest pig and, when he shook off the mud, suddenly appeared in a football player's uniform. "How about we toss the old pigskin around, ' old buddy'!"

"Hey! What'd that pig ever do ta you!?" Liam shouted angrily as BJ tossed the swine at his clowny opponent.

"I got it! I got it!" Scuzzo called as he shifted around under the flying pig, catching it right in the breadbasket. "Ha! I did get it!"

"Not yet, but you're gonna get it." Beetlejuice muttered as the pig's fake head fell off, revealing a cartoon bomb underneath. Scuzzo's eyes darted right to it before he looked to the fourth wall with a 'whoops' expression, just as the explosive detonated, leaving the ghostly clown covered in ash and soot. This made Lincoln, Clyde, Zach and Rusty burst out laughing, but Liam looked livid. "Ah relax, shorty. The pig's fine. See?" He points down at the mud at his feet, the hog rising from the muck with a confused look. That calmed the farm boy down.

"Oh, hardy har har, Beetle-britches…" Scuzzo grumbled, shaking the dust off of himself.

"Hey, the kids are laughing at my stuff." BJ pointed out with a smirk. "I don't see them laughing at yours."

"Oh, we'll see about that." The ghost clown said seriously as he reached into his trenchcoat and pulled out a rubber chicken. "Why don't you chew on this!?" He shouted, holding the chicken like it were a tommy gun. He then started shoot little, crawly projectiles at BJ. He dodges the first volley matrix style, but one of the shots hits him on the nose, clinging to it like gum to the underside of a chair.

"Hmm? Hey! Beetles!" Beetlejuice cheered as he started catching the airborne insects in his mouth. He started chewing, which soon got a frothy foam coming from his mouth. His eyes widened as he spit out the foam. "Toothpaste!"

"Hahahahaha! You mad, Beetle-Dweeb? You're practically foaming at the mouth!" Scuzzo jeered, laughing it up. He was the only one laughing though.

"Oh, come on! Luan comes up with better puns than that!" Lincoln retorte from his hiding place.

"You wanna say that to my face, midget!?" Scuzzo shouted, turning his back on the pissed off poltergeist.

"How about I do it in his stead?" Came the voice of Beetlejuice from right behind him. Scuzzo started to sweat as he slowly turned to face his rival in pranking. "And while I'm here...how about I rearrange it fer ya!?" He grabbed the spectral not so funny man by the nose. He then started to literally rearrange Scuzzo's face to look like a Picasso painting.

"It's a definite improvement!" Rusty called out, all the boys laughing at that display. Even Stella managed a nervous chuckle.

"Kid's right. You look loads better." Beetlejuice agreed, leaping back from the miffed joker as he fixed up his face.

"Ok, Dead-Beat...no more kid gloves." Scuzzo shouted, rolling up his sleeves. "It's time to end this!" He pointed one hand over at a old, wooden animal washing tub that was sitting empty over by the petting zoo. It floated over between then, filling with soapy water.

"Oh, come on. Get a new trick!" BJ criticized, crossing his arms in front of him.

"Like this!?" The ghoulish jester then pointed at the ground below Beetlejuice, a large black tentacle surging from the ground, grabbing him.

"Huh!? Hey! How'd you do that!?" The stripe wearing ghost asked fearfully as he tried to pull himself free.

"That's for me to know and you to never find out!" Scuzzo replied as the tentacle moved it's prisoner over the tub. BJ looks down into the tub and went paler than usual, screaming bloody murder.

"NO! NOT THAT!" He cried as he struggled.

"Beetlejuice!" Lincoln shouted, frantically looking around for something, anything that could help him. He may only believe his possessor was about to be dunked into a bath, but that seemed to be very troubling to the ghost, so he couldn't just sit by and do nothing. He spotted the police officer being pelted by endless pies and got an idea. He ran over to the boy in blue and caught one of the pies as it regenerated. After a momentary struggle to get the enchanted pastry to stop trying to splat the officer, Lincoln charged back to where Scuzzo and Beetlejuice were doing battle. "Hey, Scuzzo!" He yelled to get the clown's attention. The moment he turned to look, Lincoln shoved the pie right into his kisser. While the ghost goon sputtered and staggered about with a pie pan in his face, Lincoln slipped around him and pulled hard on BJ's leg to try and free him. Unfortunately, the tentacle was much stronger than he was, and Scuzzo was able to get the pan and the mess off his face before he could free Beetlejuice. The undead fool grabbed Lincoln by the back of his shirt and turned him around to look at his sneering face. Then, the close started laughing like a mad man.

"Good one, kid." He complimented. "A real classic. Not even mad about it. Shame you still gotta go the way of the dodo." He didn't sound at all like it was a shame as he waddled over to the tub with Lincoln in tow.

"Joke's on you, Scuzzo. I'm not afraid of a bath!"

"Look again, half pint." The clown held him over the tub so that he could look inside. To his surprise, inside all the suds, was a portal leading to some kind of desert.

"A desert?" Lincoln asked in confusion.

"The Sandworm Pits!" Beetlejuice cried in terror. The one son was about to ask what he meant, but then a gargantuan purple striped worm rose from the sands, opening its mouth to reveal a second worm face inside it's first mouth, licking its lips at the sight of him. Lincoln screamed and struggled like mad to free himself from Scuzzo's grip, but the ghost was much stronger than he was.

"Now Lincoln's in trouble.." Zach commented.

"We have to do something." Clyde said, looking around for something they could use as a weapon. Liam picked up some sticks and rocks, handing them out to the other boys. He offered a stick to Stella but her hands were still shaking terribly from fright. Not having time to wait, the boys made a hasty plan, then charged at Scuzzo, screaming a battle cry. On the plus side, their attack did surprise the spirit threatening them and their friend. On the minus side, he simply conjured a second tentacle to sweep them all up.

"Ok. If you boys can give me one reason you thought that was a good idea, I'll let you go." Scuzzo told them with a smirk, still holding the white haired boy over the portal. The four boys looked at one another, unable to find a answer. "Yeah, I didn't get it either." The clown said after a few minutes. "Hey Sandworms! Looks like you're getting dessert too!"

"Well, my dads always said I was the sweetest…" Clyde commented quietly.

"Not helping!" Zach, Rusty, Liam and Lincoln all yelled. Stella gulped and glanced frantically around as her mind raced a thousand miles per hour. She was terrified, yes, but she couldn't just let her friends meet whatever fate lay for them inside that basin. She spotted the ponies that Scuzzo had bewitched before and that gave her an idea. She hurriedly snuck over to them while Scuzzo was laughing and gloating to his captives. She gave a soft whistle to get their attention.

"Huh? What do you want, little lady?" The one that had grabbed Liam earlier asked.

"You guys hungry?" She whispered, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a little baggie of carrot sticks. That got their attention, the four ponies running over to the fence to stare at the vegetables. "You want them?" She asked, covertly opening the gate. The young horses all nodded eagerly. "Go get them!" She yelled as she hurled the bag toward the harlequin ghost. The ponies all immediately stampeded toward Scuzzo, their hoof steps causing the clown to pause in the act of throwing Lincoln into the portal first. He turned to see what it was just in time to get hit in the face with the carrot sticks, then get tackled by the hungry ponies. When the fool fell, Lincoln dropped to the ground face first, Stella running over beside him. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine...go get Beetlejuice out…" Lincoln said as he slowly got to his feet. Stella felt a chill go up her spine, but she nodded silently and ran over to where the ghost with the most was being constricted. She remembered how Lincoln couldn't pull BJ out, so she took a different tactic; she started kicking the tentacle. The rubbery tendril quivered and shook with each kick, but the ghost with the most noticed that its grip was weakening.

"Keep it up, kid!" He encouraged her as he tried to squirm free. Meanwhile, Scuzzo was buried in a group of four enchanted ponies who were clambering to scoop up all the carrots sticks from the bag, and Lincoln was bashing the tentacle holding his friends with one of the sticks they had dropped. After some effort from both sides, Beetlejuice, Clyde, Zach, Liam and Rusty were freed, and just in time. The colts were returning to their enclosure with their mouths full of carrots, the trampled clown groaning in pain.

"You guys ok?" Lincoln asked as he helped his friends off the ground.

"I think so." Clyde responded. "What about Beetlejuice?"

"Like new...just let me get my second wind…" BJ replied as he tried to steady his nerves. Stella shuddered a bit as she gave the wraith a hand up. At that point, their ghostly assailant was starting to rise as well, his face turning red.

"That does it! No more clowning around!" Scuzzo bellowed.

"Well, I'm all set to pony up again, pardner…" Beetlejuice retorted in a John Wayne voice, suddenly wearing a old west hero's outfit. The kids scattered again as the two stared each other down, BJ's hand over the handle of a pistol at his side. Scuzz's eyes narrowed as he moved his trenchcoat to reveal a gun of his own. A tumbleweed rolled by between them as they leered at one another. Then, the clown made his move, drawing his pistol and pulling the trigger, causing a little 'BANG!' sign to shoot out from the barrel. He started guffawing hysterically, right before he fired again, launching the sign and its post right at Beetlejuice like a harpoon. The ghost with the most quickly leaned to one side, leaving a big hole in his jacket. "Ok, Scuzzo...you got me all triggered!" He quipped before he returned fire, drawing two six shooters and just unloading them both in Scuzzo's direction. The ghoulish jester gasped, groaned, screamed in panic as he swiveled, ducked and dodged as best he could. When the smoke cleared, Scuzzo was still cowering there, but seemed untouched. When he realized this, he stood up and scoffed at BJ.

"Ha! Never touched me." He bragged. He grabbed a soda can and started chugging from it. Strangely, nothing happened. "See? What'd I-" The clown's train of thought was interrupted when Beetlejuice emerged from the can with a huge mallet, smashing him into a ectoplasmic pancake.

"Your act fell flat, Scuzzo. So why don't you buzz off!?" BJ said, snapping his fingers and turning his adversary into a fly. "Ooo! Or maybe stick around for lunch!" He amended, putting on a bib with a cockroach on it.

"Back off, Beetlejuice!" Scuzzo ordered, changing himself back before the filthy phantom's eyes.

"Or else what, Scuzzo? You got nothing left."

"Oh no? I still have…." The ethereal fool pulled his hat off his head and reached inside it. Lincoln suddenly disappeared from his friends and re-appeared in Scuzzo's hat, the clown holding him by the hair.

"Huh? How'd that happen?" The bemused human boy asked.

"Hey! Leave the kid outta this!" Beetlejuice demanded.

"Ah ah ah. I don't think you're in a position to make orders, Beetle-Butt. Now, unless you'd like the boy to have a one way trip to the Neitherworld, you'll do what I say." The clown smirked as he drew a deck of playing cards from his coat, fanned them out and held them close to Lincoln's neck. BJ glowered at him, his rotten teeth clenched. However, with Lincoln in his clutches, he couldn't effectively make a move against him.

"Ok! Ok! Yer holding all the cards here…" Beetlejuice admitted begrudgingly, holding up his hands.

"That's better...now, jump into the Sandworm Pit, Beetlejuice, or the kid gets it." Bj winced at the thought, but knew he didn't really have a choice. If Lincoln goes, so does he. He conjured a diving board over the tub holding the opening to the Sandworm Pit before instantly changing into a black and white swimsuit. He shakily climbed the ladder and stepped to the edge of the board, looking down at the shifting sands far below. "That's it...now jump!"

"Wait a minute, can'tcha!? If I'm gonna go, I wanna go with style, ya know!" Beetlejuice snapped before he held out his arms in front of him, as if preparing for a big dive. Scuzzo grins maniacally as he watched. He was so intent on watching his rival jump to his doom that he never saw the guitar coming when it slammed into the back of his skull with a loud 'KABONG!' He instantly saw stars, releasing his grip on the cards and Lincoln as he fell forward onto his face, a furious Luna standing behind him.

"You mess with my bro, you're in for a world of hurt…" She growled, holding the instrument like it were a club.

"Luna!" Lincoln cried, running to his older sister and hugging her tight.

"Lincoln! Thank Mick yer alright…." Luna said, holding the white haired boy close to her. Scuzzo was starting to come to, but before he could make a move, a lasso of electrical cable was suddenly thrown over him, binding his arms to his sides. The two Louds looked down the cable to see Sam and Chunk holding onto it, pulling the ghost clown toward them. "Mates, yer timing is incredible." Luna called out with a smile. BJ wiped the sweat from his forehead before looking down and realizing he was still standing over the Sandworm Pit, He screamed and leaps back off the board and onto the ground.

"Ok...let's get rid of this…" He said, pointing at the tub and making it vanish into itself. "And let's get rid of that!" He continued, looking at Scuzzo, who was desperately trying to escape. However, with his hands at his sides, he couldn't do much. Beetlejuice smirked as he was suddenly donning a baseball player's uniform, carrying a large bat. Not only that, but a second Beetlejuice appeared beside Luna and Lincoln, creating an announcer's desk in front of them, a mic appearing in front of Beetlejuice and Lincoln. Then a third appeared right behind the batter, dressed as a catcher "It's the bottom of the ninth, two outs and Mighty BJ's at the bat!" The announcing BJ declared. Sam and Chunk looked at eachother with confusion, but shrugged.

"Stand back, luv. I got this." Chunk said, motioning Sam to back away, which she did with all due haste.

"Alright, Chunk, ol' boy! Give em the old pepper in it, big guy!" Catcher BJ called out, punching his mitt. Luna's bulky roadie nodded, gripping the cable tight as he started to spin. Faster and faster he spun, like a hammer thrower.

"And here's…..the pitch!" Announcer BJ exclaimed as Chunk hurled Scuzzo right at the batter, the spectral harlequin screaming the whole way. The Beetlejuice at the bat grinned widely, his bat growing to massive size. As the flying joker came closer, her swung the giant club and, with a loud crack, smacks the clown skyward.

"And he's up up and away!" Lincoln yelled, smiling as he saw Scuzzo soaring through the sky. "It looks like a grand slam!"

"Yer not just whistling dixie, Lincoln! He's going….going…" The clown soon became a mere speck in the bright blue sky, before disappearing from sight. "...GONE! Headed right back to the Neitherworld where he belongs!"

"I bet he's gonna be mighty sore when he lands." The white haired Loud commented.

"Nah. He'll be fine if he lands on his head." BJ replied, not missing a beat. This got a laugh not just out of Lincoln, but Luna, Lincoln's friends, and even Sam and Chunk. The ghost with the most grinned as he made the desk and all the extra Beetlejuices vanish.

"Er...Luna...now that the things have calmed down...you wanna tell us what just happened?" Sam asked, utterly lost.

"It's kind of a long story, Sam. We'll explain everything a little later. Promise." Luna said to him, a nervous sort of smile.

"Hey...Beetlejuice…" Lincoln said, tapping his possessor on the shoulder. The messy spirit turned to the boy, wondering what he wanted. "You did good out there." He continued with a small smile.

"Er...thanks kid. You...uh….at least tried?" BJ replied awkwardly.

"I mean it. I'm grateful for your help with this problem...that you didn't cause this time." That comment got a snicker out of Beetlejuice. Just then, Stella slowly approached them, a sad look on her face. "And thank you, Stella. You really saved our collective bacons."

"You're welcome...but I really owe you both an apology…" She said, looking down at her shuffling feet. "...Lincoln...I'm sorry I was avoiding you these last couple days…"

"It's ok, St-"

"No. It's not ok." She interrupted him. 'Because the reason...wasn't even your fault…" The middle Loud just looked at her, utterly confused. "...I'm utterly terrified of ghosts…" She admittedly quietly, bracing herself for the dressing down she thought she had coming to her.

"...no, Stella. It really is ok." Lincoln said with a soft smile, causing Stella to raise her head quickly, wondering if she heard him correctly. "It's only natural to be afraid of ghosts. I mean, I love ARGGH, but I'm still scared by ghosts. And considering I already introduced you to Beetlejuice, I don't blame you at all." He added, pointing back at the ghost in question, who was looking rather flattered, polishing his fingernails on his jacket.

"...Still, I really should have come talk to you about it right from the start...especially since he didn't even do anything to me…"

"Yet." Lincoln interjected.

"...either way...sorry, Beetlejuice…"

"Ah, let it go, kid. Scaring comes naturally to me." BJ said. "Besides, if not for you, I woulda been a Sandworms dinner, after he had Mr President over here for an appetizer."

"That's right, Stella. You saved our lives...er...my life and his afterlife, I should say. You fought your fear to save us." Lincoln told her, which started to bring a smile to her face.

"I did, didn't I?" She replied, to which her friend nodded. She looked over at the grinning ghost and still shivered. "...fought, but not really conquered…"

"It's like Lisa says; the journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step."

"And speaking of first steps...I'd say going toe to toe with laughing boy up there qualifies as a good deed, right?" Beetlejuice asked, leaning in closer to his possessee.

"Yes." Lincoln responded, backing away so he didn't have to smell his only barely affected bad breath.

"And little miss sweetheart back home says I should be rewarded for doing good, if I didn't cause the problem that brought me to be good, right?" Lincoln nodded again. "Then….can I stay out here for the rest of the day?" He asked suddenly, floating around in front of Lincoln. "Come on. I was good."

"Ok. Ok. Cool it." The one son said, holding his hands up between him and Beetlejuice. "You did earn it. You can stay out of me for the rest of the day...provided you can keep behaving and can find yourself some kind of disguise...especially before the police arrive in force."

"Don't worry about that. I gotta million of them." He said, using Jimmy Durante's voice. He snapped his fingers and, not only shrunk in size, but turned into a girl as well, in a black and white striped dress, black socks and shoes, and her filthy green hair done up in pig tails. "Meet Betty Juice." She introduced herself with a grin. Everyone just looked at him with expressions of befuddlement, horror, and, in some cases, nausea.

"Er….Luna...not to be rude...but...is it my imagination or is he uglier now than he was before?" Sam whispered to Luna.

"...it's not yer imagination, luv…" Luna replied quietly.

* * *

Meanwhile, all the way in a dark room in the Neitherworld, only a single light illuminated a small podium. Literally nothing happened in the room until a loud crash was heard overheard, followed by Scuzzo falling right at the podium. "Ah. Scuzzo. So good of you to drop in." Came a dark, calm voice from the darkness before the stand. "I trust your unscheduled arrival means good news?"

"Uh….er….I do have some good news, your honor…" The clown said nervously as he used the stand to get to his feet. "I did find Beetlejuice."

"Very good. However, your job was to deliver justice to the fugitive, not locate them. The status on THAT mission?"

"That...er...is news of the other kind...he...uh...he's still in the land of the living."

"Scuzzo, Scuzzo, Scuzzo…" The voice said in the tone of a disappointed parent. "We gave you the opportunity to get at Beetlejuice. We even granted you the power to match him. And yet, you couldn't manage it...why am I not surprised?"

"It wasn't my fault!" The clown cried. "Beetle-Bum had help!"

"We are aware of his friendship with Lydia Deetz…"

"I don't mean Lydia! There are more kids on his side! Especially the kid he's connected to...that Lincoln kid!" He explained loudly. "I almost had them in the Sandworm Pits…"

"WHAT!?" Another voice bellowed from the shadows.

"That will do, Judge Mental." The first voice said. "Scuzzo, you know that, in accordance with Neitherworld law, ghosts are prohibited from doing real harm to the living."

"But...they were aiding and abeting…"

"That is not your place to judge, Scuzzo. It is ours." The tone of the voice sounded angrier than before. "In conjunction with abandoning our mission to act on your own agenda, you should consider yourself fortunate we don't cast you in the Sandworm Pits."

"...do...you want me to take another whack at it?" The ghost clown asked timidly. There was silence for a moment before giant gavel swung from the shadows, smacking the jester clear out of the room.

"How's that for a whack..?" The lights turned on in the rest of the courtroom, revealing a council of five judges. The first just was a green skulled man who looked positively livid, wearing a red robe and powdered wig. The second was a banshee with a noose around her neck. Across from them was a two headed zombie that were quietly arguing with one another. Next to him was a plant creature with a similar powdered wig to the skull faced judge. In between them all, sitting atop the tallest judge's bench, was a towering, cloaked figure, covering a yellow, leathery face with no nose and glowing red eyes.

"Chief Justice, my apologies. I should have known trusting Scuzzo was a mistake…" The skeletal judge said, his head in his bony hand.

"Indeed, Judge Mental...but mistakes happen. And we at least know where the fugitive is." The chief justice of the Neitherworld replied.

"Make no mistake, sir...I shall not fail again."

"Hold up. You had your turn, Mental!" The banshee complained. "It's someone else's turn!"

"The Hanging Judge has a point." The towering judge said, stroking his chin. "And I suppose you have a plan then?"

"Of course, your honor." The Hanging Judge said. "I'll have Beetlejuice in chains and before you by the end of the month."

"Take all the time you need. With Beetlejuice in the living world, he won't pose much of a threat to the Neitherworld." The Chief Justice responded.

* * *

Back at Royal Woods, the police had arrived on the scene to start questioning the patrons of the fair about what had happened. Naturally, anyone who knew what had happened couldn't tell them the truth about what occurred. After all, who would believe them? "So...what you're telling me…" The bald headed cop questioning Lincoln started to ask, rubbing the back of his head with the eraser on his pencil. "...is this was all caused by a crazy person in a clown costume?"

"Yes, officer." The white haired boy replied with a nod. It was kind of true, after all. "I'm not sure how he did it, but he sure seemed to find everything happening very amusing. Plus he threatened to hurt us." The police officer nodded as he took notes. Fortunately, he had managed to plan out their story with his friends before they arrived, so to the police, it would seem like it was the truth.

"Alrighty then. Thank you, Mr Loud. Don't you fret. We'll catch that clown."

"Hey, Linky! Are you done over there yet?" Betty Juice called out, skipping over to the two.

"Who's this? I don't recall seeing her around these parts before…" The cop asked, narrowing his eyes at Betty with clear suspicion.

"It's ok, officer. This is Betty Juice. She's with me." Lincoln explained, just as the disguised ghost grabbed his arm.

'That's right, officer. He's my man!" She declared, fluttering her eyelashes at the middle son. Lincoln's face went bright red as the mostly hairless officer just looked at the two with something akin to disgust. Meanwhile, Lincoln's friends, Sam and Luna were trying their darnedest not to die laughing at the sight.

"I see...you may go...Betty." The cop said, waving her away. As soon as BJ was back with the others, he leaned in to whisper to Lincoln. "Is she really…?"

"It's….complicated, sir…." The white haired, red faced lad replied, thoroughly embarrassed.

"I see...well, it's none of my business, but trust me, kid...you could do a LOT better than that…" He said quietly, just before he took his leave.

"...do you REALLY have to make me regret doing something nice for you, Beetlejuice…?" He hissed angrily as Betty smirked at him.

"Is that any way to speak to the apple of yer eye?" She asked, her eyes turning into tiny apples. Lincoln just sighed as he started to walk away, turning his angry eyes to everyone covering their mouth, desperate not to laugh.

"Not. One. Word." He half growled, half pleaded with them as Betty took hold of his arm again and started to stroll with him back toward home.


	7. Chapter 7

Peaceful Pines

"...Scuzzo? Here in the land of the living?" Lydia asked, utterly shocked.

"I was as surprised as you were, babes." Beetlejuice said, leaning in beside Lincoln so he could talk to Lydia on his laptop. The three were in the middle of a video conversation about what had happened the previous day. "Especially since the sad clown had some new tricks."

"How could he have left the Neitherworld?" The raven haired teen wondered out loud.

"Is it really not that easy to leave?" Lincoln inquired.

"Try impossible, kid. I'm the exception to the rule, what with the whole three B words thing." BJ explained.

"He's right, Lincoln. If you're dead, you're supposed to stay there...unless someone of great authority grants you permission to leave." Lydia expanded upon.

"Do you happen to have any enemies in high places, Beetlejuice?"

"Let's see….that would be...pretty much any and everyone in government." Beetlejuice said.

"Gee...what a surprise…" The white haired lad said sarcastically, getting a giggle from Lydia.

"So, Lyds…you coming by again today?" BJ asked, hopeful.

"I'm afraid I can't, Beetlejuice." She replied. "I have a lot of things and errands to do today." The pungent phantom looked disappointed when he heard that.

"Do you need some help?" Lincoln offered. "I'm not doing anything today, so if you need a hand…" His cheeks went a little pink.

"Are you sure, Lincoln?" He nodded in reply. "Well, I certainly wouldn't mind a little help. Thank you."

"Anytime, Lydia." The middle son said with a silly sort of smile. "When would you like me to head over?"

"About a half hour alright?"

"That'd be perfect. See you in a bit."

"Ok. See you soon. And thanks again, Lincoln." Lydia said before she signed off. The one son smiled as he turned around, only to end up face to face with a grinning BJ. "...Can I help you?"

"Well well, aren't you the helpful one?" He asked in a tone that suggested something was up. "And earning brownie points with Lyds as well."

"It's not like that!" Lincoln exclaimed with a blush.

"Don't kid a kidder, Linc. I know you think Lydia's cute." He said, maintaining his knowing grin.

"I...won't deny that." The one son said, her cheeks going even redder. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew if he denied it, Beetlejuice would use it against him and would put a serious strain on his friendship with Lydia. "But that's not the only reason why I'm helping her!"

"So you admit it is a reason?" BJ said in a gotcha kind of tone.

"...just shut up…" Lincoln grumbled, turning away from the ghost with the most.

"Fine...then I won't tell you that she likes you too."" Beetlejuice turned his back to Lincoln, though he was watching the boy from the corner of his eye.

"...wait...she does?" Lincoln asked, his frown disappearing in an instant, turning toward again.

"I'm not telling you…" The pranking ghost said defiantly.

"Come on, Beetlejuice...I let you stay out all night last night…" The young man pleaded, not seeing the sinister smirk on BJ's face.

"...Well, I guess I could...under one condition." He said, handing a sheet of paper to his possessee. Lincoln blinked as he looked at the paper.

"...you aren't serious…" The one son said, his face going slightly pale when he read the paper.

"Almost never...but this time, I am." The ghost replied flatly. "Do it, or my lips are sealed." A vault door suddenly closed over the phantom's mouth. Lincoln sighed in a frustrated manner before he walked out of his room, toward Lori and Leni's room. Beetlejuice watched from Lincoln's doorway, a big, evil grin on his face. The white haired boy knocked on the door, bracing himself for what was about to happen. Lori answered the door and looked down at him.

"What's up, twerp?" Lori asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I apologize in advance for this…" He said solemnly.

"Apologize for-" She was about to ask, but then Lincoln grabbed her by the collar of her shirt before pulling her into a dip and kissing her right on the lips. BJ burst out laughing as Lori started screaming objections and trying to pull herself away from her brother. Lincoln hastily dropped on her back, unable to keep her held up. "Ow! Lincoln!" She screamed, her brother fleeing for his life back to his room. Before she could get up and charge him like a cheetah, he shut and barricaded his door with his own back.

"Hahahahahahahahaha! That was rich!" Beetlejuice cackled as Lori started pounding on the door.

"Lincoln! Open this door, or you'll be sorrier!"

"Beetlejuice, while I still have a few minutes of life left...tell me...does Lydia really like me?" Lori paused for a moment in her barrage on the door, listening carefully.

"How should I know? I've been here all this time." BJ asked with an innocent shrug.

"What!? Then you're saying….I did that for nothing!?"

"No. You did that for my amusement." Beetlejuice replied.

"BEETLEJUICE!" The middle son bellowed, the joking phantasm laughing as he phased through the wall. He was so filled with mirth that he didn't notice Lori was still there till she grabbed him by the throat.

"So….you were responsible for that…?" She asked, her eyes boring into his own.

"Whoa whoa whoa...slow down, Legs…" BJ choked nervously. "Let's not do anything-AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!" The specter's thought was interrupted by the wrath of Lori. Lincoln started to sweat as her heard each impact of the ghost against the walls and doors and BJ's screeches of pain and cries for mercy.

"...and to my sister Lana...I leave my fishing rod…" He muttered to himself as he hastily started writing his will. "To Lisa, my comic books, with the hope she'll understand and appreciate their financial value at least...and finally, to my sister Lily...my hidden stash of allowance, the location of which-" Before he could finish, Lori opened him door, causing him to freeze in the act of writing.

"...I believe this is yours…" She said, tossing the pretzel that was Beetlejuice into the room.

"Ugh….she doesn't make empty threats, does she?" The ghoul groaned.

"Lori...please...I swear, I…"

"Don't worry about it, Lincoln. Let's just agree never to speak of this again and we'll be square." Lori said calmly,

"Gladly." Lincoln replied, nodding like a bobblehead.

"Awwww….ow….what's the matter? Don't like getting kisses from little brother?" BJ asked through the pain.

"Shut up!" Lori and Lincoln shouted together.

* * *

About a half hour later, Lincoln got himself all ready to travel to Peaceful Pines, and Beetlejuice finally managed to pull himself out of his pretzel shape. He stepped in front of the mirror in the hall, looking at his reflection. "I'll be back later. Heading over to Lydia's to help her with a few things." He called through the house.

"Ok, son. Be back by dinner." Lynn Sr called back.

"Sure thing, Dad. Thanks." He said just before he stepped through the mirror, followed closely by the foul wraith.

"Wait...who's Lydia?"

* * *

Over on the other side of the mirror, Lydia had just finished getting herself ready for Lincoln's arrival. She was wearing her usual outfit of a black shirt and black jeans, her hair short and straight. She was looking into her vanity mirror, holding the plum lipstick tube in her hand. She was torn as to whether she should or shouldn't use it this time; she knew how much Lincoln liked it, but she was worried what her parents would think. After a moment's thought, she threw caution to the wind and applied a little lipstick. By the time she finished, Lincoln had stepped into her room, BJ right behind her. "Hey Lyds!" BJ called out.

"Hello Lydia." Lincoln said.

"Hey guys!" Lydia greeted them, dashing over to give Beetlejuice a hug. She then followed up by shaking Lincoln's hand, both them blushing lightly. There was a moment of awkward silence between them before she said. "So...all ready to go?"

"Yeah. I'm ready." Lincoln replied, a shy grin on his face.

"Beetlejuice….you know the drill."

"Sure thing, babes. I won't be BUGGING either of you today." He said, turning himself into a cricket and landing on Lydia's shoulder.

"Thanks Beetlejuice. Just stay out of sight while my parents are around...and don't prank them." She warned him. The ghost didn't reply, but he hid as she requested, moving around behind her neck to hide under her hair. "Hehehehehe careful, BJ...that tickles." Once her spectral friend was hidden away, Lydia took Lincoln's hand and escorted him down the stairs, where her parents were sitting in the living room. Her father, Charles, was a blonde haired man who, while simply relaxing and watching tv, seemed to have a nervous twitch every once in a while. In contrast, her stepmother, Delia, seemed very at peace with the world as she hammered away at a sculpture by the door. She had curled red hair and a big smile on her face that made Lincoln a little uneasy; even more than her statue. The young man knew a little bit about art and knew what he liked, and he did NOT like that twisted hunk of marble she was working on at all. "We'll be back later, Dad, Delia." Lydia called quickly.

"Not so fast, Lydia." Delia replied, turning to face her, her eyes locking on the white haired boy beside her. "Who might this young man be?"

"Um...Lincoln Loud, ma'am." He replied, nervous yet politely. "I'm a friend of Lydia's."

"Lincoln….OH! You're that young man she's been talking to all the time!" She exclaimed, looking excited.

"Odd...when did he come in?" Charles asked, looking between the front door and the boy, scratching his head.

"Oh, you were so focused on that TV, a war could have started and you'd miss it." Delia joked with a snicker. "But really, it's a pleasure to meet you, Lincoln. I'm Delia Deetz, and this is my husband, Charles Deetz."

"Pleased to meet the both of you." Lincoln replied, shaking them both by the hand.

"Well, it's nice to see a young man with manners." Mr Deetz said with a more relaxed smile. "It's good to meet you as well, Lincoln...but what are you doing here this early?"

"I offered to help Lydia with her errands today."

"Ooooh! Such a gentleman!" Delia cooed, pinching Lincoln's cheek a bit.

"Yeah..he really is." Lydia commented quietly with a blush. "Ahem...come on, Lincoln. We should get a move on if we're going to finish in time to see the town a little." She added, taking her friend by the arm. Her reason for her haste, in addition to reducing the risk of embarrassment, was she didn't want to test how patient Beetlejuice was planning to be.

"Oh, take your time, kids." Delia said. "Go on and show Lincoln around first. Just be back before dinner!" She chirped, opening the door for them.

"Oh...thank you, Delia." Lydia was a little surprised by this, but took the opportunity to speed their departure along.

"Bye. See you later." Lincoln called out as he was nearly pulled out the door, Delia closing it behind him.

"Charles, are you thinking what I'm thinking!?" Delia asked, fit to burst from joy.

"Nice kid, but how did he get here..?"

"You're half right." She informed him. "He is a nice young man. And handsome too. And he's clearly won our little girl's heart…"

"...say what?" Charles' head snapped out to his second wife, a look of concern on his face.

"Our little Lydia….has a boyfriend~!" Mrs Deetz sang, prancing around the couch.

"...Delia, don't you think you're jumping the gun a little?" Charles asked with a nervous chuckle. "I mean, they only just met in person today…"

"Trust me, Charles. I know how little girls are, even Lydia." She replied, returning to her sculpture. "And I can see it in both their faces."

'Delia, I love you, but you don't know Lydia as well as you think.' He thought to himself, shaking his head a little. '...but just to be safe...I should have a little talk with Lincoln when they get back.'

* * *

"They seemed nice." Lincoln said as Lydia took him down the walk away from their front door.

"Yeah...they are nice." Lydia agreed as they walked, still holding hands. "Delia, a bit too nice…."

'So that wasn't just me.' Lincoln thought to himself.

"And how about that art of hers, eh?" Beetlejuice asked with a smirk from Lydia's neck.

"Er...yes...that...uh...statue…." The middle son stammered, trying to find polite words. He didn't want to possible insult her mother's artistic abilities.

"Don't worry, Lincoln." The gothic girl told him with a soft smile. "I know my step mother's art...isn't great."

"Killjoy...I wanted to watch the kid squirm some more…" Beetlejuice grumbled.

"Step Mother?" Lincoln asked, surprised.

"Yeah….my mother passed away a few years back…." Lydia explained, her tone and expression becoming sadder, her grip on his hand tightening a bit.

"Oh...I'm sorry…" The white haired loud responded sympathetically. He glanced over at her and, in a move that surprised her, let go of her hand and put it around her, giving her a comforting, one armed hug. Lydia blinked for a moment, then smiled softly, a deep blush appearing on her face.

"Thanks, Lincoln…" She said softly as they continued to walk on. Beetlejuice looked between the two with a bit of a salty look. Under normal circumstances, he would have juiced the boy for getting too close to Lydia. However, one of the few people he really cared about was Lydia, and he could see that his possessee was trying to comfort her and cheer her up...and succeeding. He didn't have the heart to spoil that, so he held his peace.

The two walked for a couple more minutes before they separated themselves from the half hug, right before they passed by her school. Only a few members of staff were around, as it was a weekend, but they waved to the two kids as they passed. Lincoln waved back, noticing how things seemed a bit...duller here. He couldn't really put his finger on it, but everything seemed less...lively compared to Royal Woods. He wasn't complaining, however. He liked how peaceful it was around here. She then took him to town, where their first stop was at an art supply store on the main street. "Let's see...Delia needs some extra clay, and a few new brushes."

"I'll go get the clay." Lincoln offered, since he knew there were a variety of different brushes and Lydia probably knew which ones her mother needed. She nodded as the two split up. The store was small, so the one son didn't have to look long to find the clay. As he picked up a bucket (which was the only way it came for some reason), he noticed some sketchbooks on the shelves opposite it. He smiled lightly as he examined one of the smaller books. As he perused them, a blonde haired, blue eyed teen girl was passing the shop, a bored, haughty look on her face. She glances into the shop for a moment, which wasn't something she was in the habit of doing. She never really spared even a thought for stores that didn't carry top of the line designs. Today, however, she saw something that made her pause. A white haired young man she never saw before.

'Hmmmm. I thought I knew everyone in this mudhole of a town…' She thought to herself. 'He must be new in town.' She takes the time to give him a critical examination from the window. 'Hmmmm. Kind of scrawny...fashion sense needs work...the buck tooth is kind of distracting….but is he ever cute.' The girl smiled a little as she decided to step into the little store. The store owner, an older man who was at the register, looked up in surprise when she entered.

"Miss Brewster...what a sur-" He started to say, but he was cut off with a rude "Whatever!" from the girl. Lincoln turned his head when he heard her voice, seeing her walk right toward him. She was dressed up in what Lincoln recognized as the latest fashions from Spain (knowledge he gained from spending time with Leni). "Hey there."

"Um...Hi." Lincoln replied. He couldn't help but notice how pretty the girl was, but the initial rudeness he witnessed left a bad taste in his mouth already. However, he believed in giving people a chance, and he wanted to give her a fair chance too.

"New in town, I guess?" She asked in a friendly tone.

"Yeah. My first time visiting here. I'm Lincoln Loud." He introduced himself.

'Lincoln...certainly a respectful name.' She thought to herself. "Claire Brewster. Yes, THE Claire Brewster."

"Um….I see." Lincoln replied awkwardly, but trying to maintain politeness.

"Hmmm. I guess it's no real surprise you haven't heard of me, coming from…?"

"Royal Woods." Lincoln finished her sentence for her.

'ROYAL Woods!? I've never heard of it before, but if it has royal in the name, it has to be affluent.' She thought excitedly to herself. "Well, I do hope you're finding our...quaint little town enjoyable. I mean, I find it rather drab myself, but what can you do? At least until you can move out, that is." The white haired lad was liking this girl less and less the more he listened to her. She had a pompous air about her that reminded him of the Lola on a bad day.

"Actually, I think it's nice and relaxing here." Lincoln responded, trying to gauge her reaction. Claire chortles a little and, predictably, starts back pedalling.

"Well, of course. Very relaxing." She agreed, as if her comment about her hometown being drab never existed. "So...I see you dabble in the arts?"

"Here and there." Lincoln said with a shrug."More a kind of hobby with me."

"I see. I'd love to see what you come up with sometime." Claire said sweetly, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

'Somehow, I sincerely doubt it.' Lincoln thought to himself. Just then Lydia had turned the corner with paint brushes in hand.

"Did you find the clay, Lin-" Her sentence was caught in her throat when she saw Claire standing there. "Oh...Hello Claire…." Lydia said curtly.

"Lydia...why am I not surprised to see you in this dump?" Claire stated with a malicious grin.

"Hey. This is a nice little store." Lincoln said, frowning at her.

"W..Well yes. It has its own, quaint charm." The spoiled girl backpedaled instantly, getting a curious look from Lydia. "Anyway, what brings you here? Looking to make a mask to finally cover that face of yours?"

"Come on, Lincoln." Lydia said angrily, not even dignifying Claire's comment. "Let's go."

"Hold on! Lincoln doesn't need to leave."

"Maybe not, but I choose to." Lincoln replied matter of factly. "I'm helping Lydia with her errands today. Besides, it's becoming rather stuffy in here...no offense intended, sir."

"Don't worry about it, kid." The elderly owner said, waving off his apology. He knew what the boy meant. Claire just stood there, struck dumb for a moment as Lincoln walked past her to bring Lydia's purchases, as well as his own, to the register. The blonde haired rich girl could hardly believe what she just saw. He chose to hang out with LYDIA over her? Inconceivable… She just stood there, trying to process this as the two of them left.

"So...what's her story?" The one son asked as soon as they were out on the street again.

"Claire Brewster? She's the definition of a spoiled, entitled brat." Beetlejuice replied.

"Well, he's not wrong." Lydia agreed with a small frown on her face. "She's the most popular girl in school...despite the fact that no one can really stand her."

"That sounds a little harsh…"

"...but accurate." BJ interjected. "Seriously, kid. She could give Lola nasty lessons."

"Oh, I don't know...you haven't seen Lola at her worst yet." Lincoln countered. "She has grown men afraid of her."

"Yikes...note to self...don't anger Lola." Lydia commented quietly.

"So, where to next?" The white haired boy asked. Their next stop was a convenience store to pick up some bread. Quick in and quick out. After that, they needed to stop at a specialty store that sold special, gourmet coffees and teas, to pick up a special herbal tea for her father and a can of coffee for Delia. As none of the bags were especially heavy, Lincoln offered to carry the lion's share of the bags for her (something he was used to doing when he was dragged to the mall with his sisters). Meanwhile, Claire was watching them from a distance, her anger starting to boil over. To her, it seemed so unfair that someone so cute chose someone like Lydia, instead of a beauty like her.

'Maybe he didn't see me in the right light…' She thought. 'Yeah. That has to be it.' She grinned to herself as Lydia stopped in front of a lady's clothing store.

"I just need to get a pack of stockings for Delia." Lydia told her friend. "You can wait out here if you like."

"Sure thing, Lydia." The middle son replied. While he was used to being inside women's clothing stores, thanks to Leni, Lori and Lola, he couldn't say he was particularly fond of them.

"I promise not to be long." The gothic teen said before she stepped into the store. However, fate had other plans. When she stepped inside, she spotted a tall girl with light brown and a yellow hair band and an overbite, and a smaller girl with bushy orange hair and glasses.

"Lydia!" The tall girl said with a big smile.

"Hello Lydia." The smaller of the two said.

"Hey Bertha, Prudence. What brings you here?" She asked, walking over to them and joining them in a friendly hug.

"My mother wanted me to get some new clothes, and Prudence is keeping me company." Bertha explained. "I guess the same with you?"

"No. Just running a few errands for my step mother." Lydia told them. "She asked me to get her a pack of stockings from here."

"Oh. I guess this is your first stop then, judging by your lack of items in tow." Little Prudence reasoned, noting Lydia's empty hands.

"No. This is actually my second to last stop. Lincoln is keeping an eye on my things." Lydia pointed out the window, where the eleven year old Loud was just casually looking up and down the street as he waited.

"Oh! So that's the famous Lincoln you've told us so much about." The shorty, brainy teen commented.

"Wow. You weren't kidding, Lydia. He is cute." Bertha said with a grin.

"I never said Lincoln was cute…" Lydia objected, a blush appearing on her cheeks,

"Outright, no. However, the insinuations were as clear as day." Prudence informed her while adjusting her glasses.

"Not to mention how red you turned talking about him." Bertha added. "Then, and now." Lydia felt her cheeks, noticing how warm they felt, making her blush even more. "You like him, don't you, Lydia?"

"Of course. He's a very good friend." The raven haired teen replied, hoping that would have been that. She really should have known better.

"She means 'like him' like him." Prudence elaborated, a bit of a grin appearing on her own face.

"What? No...I don't…I mean, he's a great guy, but...we're just friends." Lydia stammered, her ghostly friend snickering from inside her hair.

"So, he'd be available if I asked him out?" Bertha asked hopefully.

"No!" Lydia exclaimed far too quickly to stop herself. She quickly covered her mouth, looking into the expressions of 'gotcha' on her friends faces. "...ok. You win…" She said in a low, defeated tone. "Yes….I do like like Lincoln…."

"I knew it." Bertha said with a chuckle.

"And I think it's safe to assume that the young man reciprocates your feelings?" Prudence asked. Lydia thought about it for a moment: she knew Lincoln thought she was cute, knew he was a nice guy, really seemed to care about her judging by the way he comforted her earlier, and remembered how he reacted to her new look before.

"I...uh...I think so.."

* * *

Meanwhile, Lincoln was being rather patient as he waited outside, even though the trip inside was taking a little longer than before. It was far from an inconvenience to him. However, his being alone was very convenient for Claire, who took the opportunity to make her move. She strolled right over to him with a 'winning' smile. "Hello again, Lincoln."

"Hello, Miss Brewster." Lincoln replied politely, but devoid of emotion.

"Oh please. Call me Claire." She said with a giggle. "So, I was thinking, since you're new in town, I should give you the grand tour of Peaceful Pines."

"Thank you, Miss Brewster, but-" He started to say, but she had taken hold of his wrist and pulled him away from the store before he could politely refuse, making him drop all the bags. Lydia and her friends didn't noticed, but Beetlejuice did, and he didn't like it at all. He vanished in a puff of smoke and reappeared on Lincoln's shoulder, still in cricket form.

"Hey kid…" He whispered into the white haired boy's ear. "Let your conscience be your guide...away from that brat."

"I'm trying..." The young man quietly replied. "...but she has a grip like iron…" BJ glances over at her hand, which was locked onto Lincoln's wrist.

"Really…? Do you even lift bro?" The ghost asked, turning into a tiny body builder.

"No...I don't...but even if I did, I wouldn't want to hurt her…" He continued to whisper while Claire prattled on about all the places she was going to show him. "Look...do me a favor. Go back to Lydia and tell her what happened...I'll try and think of a way out of this."

"What's in it for me?" Beetlejuice asked with a smirk.

"Do I need to say the three B words…?" Lincoln threatened angrily.

"Whoa! Ok, ok….yeesh, you think a guy his age would be thrilled being this popular with the ladies." The ghost grumbled before he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

* * *

Around the time of Lincoln's abduction, Bertha and Prudence were giggling with glee (well, Bertha more than Prudence) at Lydia's reaction. "This is so cool. You have a boyfriend, Lydia. Even Claire doesn't have a boyfriend yet."

"Now hold on, girls." Lydia said as she collected the stockings her mother needed and headed for the register. "I don't even know for certain if he feels the same way. I mean, yeah, he's a sweet, caring guy to me, but he seems to be really nice to practically everyone. And even if he did, we haven't even dated yet."

"Why not simply invite him to lunch and ask him yourself how he feels?" The smallest of the three inquired practically. Her suggestion made sense to Lydia. After all, even if he didn't feel that way about her, she could play it off as just treating him for his kind act. She looked back toward the window and blinked, realizing that Lincoln wasn't there. Confused, the young lady paid for her item and ran outside, noticing the bags on the ground. "Lincoln?" She called out, thinking/hoping Lincoln had just stepped away for a moment. She was getting more worried around the time her friends came outside. "Lincoln!?" She called again, more worried.

"Where'd he go?" The tallest of the girls asked, looking up and down the main street.

"It's strange he would just disappear like this." Prudence commented.

"Girls!" The three of them turned their heads as Betty Juice came running up to them. "I saw the whole thing!"

"The whole thing? What do you mean? What happened, Betty!?" Lydia inquired, more worried than ever."

"It was that Claire Brewster. She grabbed Lincoln by the arm and dragged him away." BJ explained, pointing down the street where Lydia's arch enemy took her latest, dearest friend.

"Claire...I should have known…" Lydia growled, her hands clenched into fists.

"What are you going to do, Lydia?" Bertha asked, looking concernedly in the direction Betty had pointed. Lydia thought about this for a moment. Betty leaned over and whispered to her:

"Say the word, and I can make her name mud…" She whispered with a diabolical grin, a big old glob of mud in her hand.

"...let's call that plan b." Lydia said, sorely tempted. "Bertha, Prudence, see if you can get ahead of them. Odds are she'll be headed for her house to try and impress Lincoln or something. Just try and stall them."

"Of course. We'll keep you posted, Lydia." Prudence responded with a salute, the two of them running off. As soon as they were gone, she turns to her friend. "Is Lincoln ok?"

"Yeah. He's just being dragged away." The pranking phantom explained. "...and he's too wimpy to pull free."

"Go back to him and see if you can help him out." Lydia instructed him. "I'll follow along shortly. If something changes, have Lincoln text me." Beetlejuice nodded before he disappeared. Under normal circumstances, he would have greatly objected to being told what to do. However, not only was Lydia a special case with him, but he saw an opportunity for some approved mischief, and he was NOT going to let that slip through his fingers.

* * *

Back with Claire and her captive, she was taking Lincoln toward a parked, shiny new limousine. This was bringing Lincoln into a kind of panic, thinking he was legit being kidnapped (which technically he was), which affected his ability to think. He was considering doing something desperate when he heard a voice in his ear. "Hey, Mr President…" The white haired boy blinked as Claire pulled him onto the limo and shut the door.

"Jeeves...to the country club." Claire declared, crossing her legs in front of her. She grinned broadly as she pulled out her cell phone and started to brag to her friend on the line about meeting the cutest boy. Lincoln blushed deeply as he turned away, testing the car door. Naturally, they had child proof locks, but he was using this as an excuse to speak to Beetlejuice.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad to hear from you again." He muttered under his breath.

"Never thought I'd hear that. Lyds knows the sitch, so what's the plan?" BJ asked with a grin, still hidden behind his ear.

"Well, I can't get out the door...child proof locks." He explained quietly.

"...you know I hate them.." Beetlejuice grumbled angrily.

"...so I can't get out while the vehicle is in motion...think you can do something about that?" The middle son asked hopefully.

"Are you asking?" The grim grinning ghost asked.

"Yes, please…"

"Well, since you asked nicely...I think I could heat things up a bit." He said, pointing an insect leg toward the front of the limo, the tip radiating magic. "Claire's gonna be steamed about this." Just as he said that, the limo's radiator cap popped off, steam and water shooting from it like a geyser. The vehicle was forced to come to a stop.

"...what...just a second, Valerie…" She turned to clear at her chauffeur. "Jeeves! Why have we stopped!?"

"Begging your pardon, Miss Brewster...but it seems the limo has overheated. I'm afraid we cannot go anywhere until it has cooled down." The man behind the wheel replied with all the poise and dignity of an overly stuck up cartoon butler. He even looked the part, minus the chauffeur hat.

"Can't you fix it!? Like, NOW!?" She bellowed, Jeeves sighing in exasperation as he stepped out of the limo.

"I shall try, Miss Brewster…" He replied, swapping his driver's hat for a mechanic's cap.

"Wow...you drive cars and work on them too?" Lincoln asked as leaning forward for a better look.

"Mister and Missus Brewster decided to cut back on servant salaries...so what few of us remained were forced to...diversify if we wished to remain employed." He explained solemnly, opening the hood and nearly getting burned by a burst of steam.

"That's kinda sad...but its really impressive that you took the time to learn multiple jobs." Lincoln complimented, surprising the servant. "Takes a lot of skill to wear more than one hat like that."

"Well….thank you, Master….?"

"Loud. Lincoln Loud."

"Thank you, Master Loud."

"Oh, don't pay Jeeves any mind, Lincoln, darling." Claire said. "He'll be ready in a moment, then we'll be on our way." Claire said, holding a hand over her phone before continuing. "...yes, and these adorable little freckles. No...but I think a little time with me and he'll be so fashion forward, he'll be setting trends with a wave of his hand."

"Ready in a moment, eh? Well, the little lady is in for a shock…" Beetlejuice muttered. Just then, Jeeves jumped back from the car as the battery started sparking and arcing electricity all over the place.

"Miss Brewster! Master Loud! Evacuate the car, immediately!"

"Jeeves, I'm on the phone! Ugh….like, rude…." She said in a disgusted tone, not even turning around.

"Claire, he's serious!" Lincoln screamed fearfully, plainly able to see the danger. He forced the door open, grabbed her by the arm and pulled her right from the car just before the engine caught fire. The two kids flopped onto the grass and Jeeves hit the deck just before the motor exploded.

"Ugh! Eww! Lincoln! I'm going to get grass stains all over my new jumper!" The spoiled girl complained as she glared at the boy beside her.

"Better grass stains than blood stains!" Lincoln retaliated angrily, pointing back at the limo. The front was a complete, mangled wreck, burning and smoking terribly. On the outside, the interior looked fine, but a closer look revealed the seats had been torn to ribbons by shrapnel and broken glass. Claire just gapes as the carnage as the one son got to his feet.

"Too much?" BJ asked innocently from his ear.

"What do you think…?" Lincoln asked, fit to be tied. He then turned to the servant, still face down on the road. "Jeeves!? Are you alright?"

"My ears are ringing, Master Loud...but otherwise, I believe I have emerged unscathed…" He replied, slowly getting to his feet and dusting himself off. "Are you both unharmed?"

"I think so." The white haired lad turned to look at Claire, who was giving him a big eyed look. "Uh...are you ok…?"

"You saved my life…" She said in an almost dreamy sort of way. In her eyes, she saw him wearing a suit of armor as shiny white as his hair.

"Uh oh…"

"Smooth move, Sir Goofs A Lot…" Beetlejuice whispered to him.

"I couldn't have just left her in there…" Lincoln hissed through his teeth just as Claire threw her arms around him in a grateful hug, before grabbing his arm again. "Come on! The Country Club isn't far. And I'm sure Daddy will want to meet the hero who saved his darling daughter's life."

"But what about…?"

"Jeeves can call a tow truck and a taxi. That's his problem." She said, pulling him along even harder than she had before. The goofing ghoul sighed as he hopped into Lincoln's pocket and started texting on his phone.

Lyds. BJ Here. Claire Bowser is taking your prince to another castle. - BJ

Where are they headed? - Lydia

Country Club. Kid can't text. Claire still has a deathgrip on his wrist - BJ

I'll be there as soon as I can - Lydia

Beetlejuice wasn't sure what she was going to be able to do. Snobs probably wouldn't even let her past the door. He crawled back up to hide behind Lincoln's turkey tail as Claire forcefully led him to the lavishly large country club building, flanked by large, brick walls topped with spikes. He could see a few golf balls soaring through the sky over the top of the wall as she dragged the one son inside. "Daddy is probably golfing right now, so before we see him, let's get you looking more appropriate."

"More appropriate? What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Oh, while you look precious in what you're wearing, it's not really golf appropriate." She explained, snapping her fingers, getting club staff on her in an instant. "Please assist my hero in finding something to wear on the links." Lincoln gulped as he looked at the fourth wall with shrunken pupils.

"Help…." He whimpered just as he was grabbed by four guys and pulled into a changing room, Cricket BJ hopping off his head and scurrying off. Seconds later, they emerged from the room with Lincoln wearing an orange button up shirt, big brown pants with tan patches on the knees, the hems of which were stuck into his socks, and big golf cleats. He took one look at himself, then grimaced at the fourth wall. "What? No big red nose…?" He asked sarcastically.

"If you wish, Master L-" One of the staff members actually handed him a big, red clown nose, which only made the one son more sour.

"That...was...sarcasm." He interrupted him angrily.

"There we go. A significant improvement." Claire declared before she took Lincoln's hand again.

"Do you really need to-" He was about to ask, but she was already pulling him out onto the golf course. "Beetlejuice….little help…?" He whispered. However, he didn't get a response. After about five minutes of running, and one minute of Lincoln dealing with a charlie horse, they eventually find a man that Lincoln assumed was Claire's father. He had a well coifed head of golden hair, was wearing a fine silken yellow golf shirt and pants, was rather tall, wide at the shoulders, narrow at the hips, and had a big smile that looked like it was surgically attached. He was surrounded by the most stereotypical definition of men and women snobs Lincoln had ever seen. The moment he came into sight, all their eyes locked onto him, glaring at him as if he had just insulted their entire bloodline.

"Daddy!" Claire chirped right when he was about to swing, looking up in great irritation at first, but smiling when he saw who had interrupted him.

"Claire! My little princess!" He called out, holding out his arms to hug her. "And you brought me a caddy too. How thoughtful, but I have one already. No matter. I'm sure someone here could use one. Any takers?"

"Caddy? Tee Hee. No, Daddy! This is Lincoln Loud, the hero who saved my life." She introduced him dramatically, his cheeks bright red and his face coated in sweat. The mood shifted in an instant from hateful leering to surprised horror and shock.

"S...saved your life!? Dearest, what happened!?" Mr Brewster asked, beside himself with worry. "Are you hurt?"

"Thanks to my hero, I am fine." She said, stepping back and clinging to the frozen boy's arm. "It was such a terrifying experience…." She continued melodramatically, placing the back of her hand on her forehead in a 'woe is me' manner. "I was giving the charming young man a tour of the finer parts of our little town when Jeeves, in all his incompetence, caused the limo to overheat…"

"It wasn't his fault…" Lincoln interjected, though his objection fell on deaf ears.

"...and when the idiot tried to fix it, he made it even worse…"

"it was NOT his fault!" He said again, raising his voice. For all the good it did, he may as well have spoken to the golf clubs.

"...but before the car exploded, my knight in shining armor threw open the door and pulled me from the death trap. Thanks to him, I remain unharmed!" She concluded, hugging Lincoln tightly, making him go all red in the face. The assembled crowd all applauded, looking impressed. Mr Brewster ran up to Lincoln and shook his hand with both hands.

"My boy, any man heroic enough to protect my princess is a friend of mine!" He said gratefully.

"It...was nothing, sir…" Lincoln said meekly, all the while thinking 'Beetlejuice, where are you?'

"Haha. No need to be so modest, Loud." Claire's father said, slapping him on the back. "You are a hero, through and through." While he still felt less than comfortable about this whole situation, he did have to admit it felt good to be thought of as a hero...even if it was because Beetlejuice couldn't show any restraint. "You're a man I'd be proud to call son in law!"

"...what?" The white haired boy asked in horror as Claire smiled sweetly at him. Just then…

"FORE!" A tiny, skull shaped golf ball landed among them all, getting all their attention. "Dreadful sorry, old chaps. Mind so terribly if I play through?" Said a tall, pale man in a pin striped golf suit, with slicked back green hair. Lincoln's eyes widened when he saw him.

"Er….do you have a membership here?" Mr Brewster asked suspiciously.

"What? Surely you jest. Are you telling me you do not remember Sir Reginald Beetleman, of the East Birmingham Beetlemans?" The members of the club looked at one another, looking confused. Mr Brewster checked on his PDA, checking the list of members of the club. His eyes opened in surprise.

"Well, I'll be. Sincerest apologies, Reginald. I suppose my memory isn't as good as I thought."

"Think nothing of it, Mr Brewster." Mr Beetleman replied with a chuckle.

"At any rate, Reginald, if you wouldn't mind waiting a moment while I take my shot, would you?"

"Not at all. Drive away, good sir." Reginald strolled over beside Lincoln to wait, looking down at him. "Well, look at that. Young love." He commented with a smirk.

"Where were you!?" Lincoln whispered very quietly, trying not to get Claire's attention with how close she was.

"I had eight holes to get through to get here…" BJ whispered back. "Got a hole in one last hole." He added, turning his head to reveal a hole in his head.

'Why am I not surprised…?' The poor boy wondered. "In all seriousness...I need to get out of here…"

"Got any suggestions?"

"Well...since she is parading me around here...maybe we should rain on their parade." He mouthed to Reginald Beetleman. He grinned at the boy.

"I'm rubbing off on you, Lincoln." He said under his breath. He snapped his fingers as she sky started to darken overhead.

"Huh….I thought today was supposed to be sunny…" Claire commented, frowning up at sky.

"Spring rains. You can never predict them." Lincoln said with a shrug, grinning as it started to drizzle at first. Then, it started to pour. Claire screamed and ran for cover, ducking inside a golf cart, along with a few of the stuffshirts who were crowding around her father earlier. The rest of the rich folks scattered like roaches, leaving Lincoln and BJ standing there, the latter snickering.

"Bunch of wusses." Beetlejuice commented. "A little rain never hurt anyone." Lincoln just shrugged as he started to meander toward the main building in the rain.

"Coming, Sir Reginald?"

"Nah. As long as I have a chance, I'm gonna take the chance to drive." He replied, setting up his little skull ball while Mr Brewster was away. He narrowed his eyes over at the flag, taking aim, then swung his club. The moment it made contact with the ball, it split in half while flying through the air. "Ah man...another slice!"

Lincoln eventually made it to the building, soaking wet but somewhat pleased. Up toward the front, he could see Lydia, Bertha and Prudence arguing with some of the country club's security. He frowned lightly and went over to see what was up. "Come on, sir. We're just here to see a friend." Bertha had said, trying to appeal to their sympathy.

"Sorry, ma'am, but this club is members only. If you aren't a member or cannot be vouched for by a member, you have to leave." The stiff security guard said.

"It's ok, sir. They're with me." Lincoln said as he stepped forward, looking angrily at him. The guard looked back at him.

"Well...Miss Brewster was willing to vouch for you…." The man said, scratching his head. "I guess it's ok…." He motioned for his look alike comrades to disperse, Lydia running forward and giving Lincoln a hug before she could stop herself, the white haired lad hugging her back.

"I was so worried when you disappeared." Lydia said, her friends giggling behind her.

"Sorry about that, Lydia...I wasn't really given a choice in the matter." He told her. The two separated just as Betty came running in from the golf course.

"There you guys are!" She exclaimed shrilly.

"Betty? How did you get in?" Prudence asked in surprise.

"My uncle, Sir Reginald, got me in." The ghoul answered with a mischievous grin. He leaned close to the white haired boy as soon as he and Lydia stopped hugging. "Heads up. Little Miss Brewster is driving the cart right this way."

"Oh great…" Lincoln groaned, before looking to the gothic teen.

"What is Claire's problem anyway?" Bertha asked, shaking her head.

"She's...kinda fallen for me…" Lincoln told them, sounding more like someone who learned they had a terminal disease.

"...of course…" Lydia face palmed, thinking to herself she should have seen that coming.

"Ah...yeah, I could see that." The tallest of the girls commented.

"...Especially after I saved her life." He added, getting surprised looks from the three girls. "...SOMEONE messed with her limo, and it went badly wrong…." Lincoln made sure to say that loudly enough for Beetlejuice to hear. Lydia leaned over to glare at Betty while her friends looked confused, the green haired gal shrugging with a nervous grin. Just then, Claire burst through the door, kind of damp but otherwise alright. She looked around a bit and instantly spotted Lincoln. She hurried right over to him.

"There you are, my hero….oh, what are YOU lot doing here?" Claire asked derisively.

"They're with me." Betty lied with a straight face, and before the brat could ask, she added. "Sir Reginald is my uncle."

"...clearly, they'll let ANYONE into the club these days…" She complained sourly before she turned back to Lincoln. "Come on, Lincoln. Let get out of here."

"Now just a minute…" The one son said, pulling his arm away before she could grab it. "I'm a person, Claire, not some toy for you to drag around and show everyone. I am capable of choosing for myself where I will go, when and with who."

"Whom." Prudence corrected him.

"Right. Sorry."

"No need for apologies. It's an easy mistake to make."

"What? But Lincoln...don't you love me?" Claire asked, her eyes starting to mist up.

"I hardly even know you." LIncoln responded, his hands on his hips. "And you barely know anything about me. Any chance we COULD have had to talk, you spent it bragging to others about having me there with you or my pulling you out of the limo before it exploded." Bertha and Prudence just watched in awe seeing Lincoln stand up to the wealthy shrew, while Lydia couldn't help but smirk. "Not to mention how you practically abducted me…"

"Lincoln, don't be like that...we can make this work…" Claire said, her eyes becoming big, watery and very much puppy dog like. Combined with the lip quiver and Lincoln could feel his heartstrings being tugged.

'Oh good grief...my biggest weakness….' The white haired boy thought as he looked away. Unfortunately, her sad, pathetic look was burned into his memory. He glanced up at Lydia and the others, his brain working in overdrive. 'What am I going to do? If I make her cry, my conscience would kill me...but I like Lydia...besides there's no way a relationship would work between us. She'd know that if she knew me.' It was then a light bulb lit up in Lincoln's mind, a big of a grin appearing on his face. "You know what, Claire. You're right. We can make this work." He finally said, in a tone that suggested he had something up his sleeve.

"WHAT!?" The three girls and one ghost exclaimed in shock, while the spoiled brat's face lit up like the sun.

"Oh, Lincoln! I knew you wouldn't break my precious heart!" She said, close to tears as she once more wrapped her arms around him almost as tight as an anaconda. Bertha and Prudence just stared with open mouths, Lydia frozen in place with disbelief, and Betty was rolling up her non-existent sleeves, glaring daggers at the one son.

"I'm gonna give that kid the mother of all wedgies…." She growled with wrath.

"Betty...no…" Lydia said quietly, her voice a little choked up. "it's...it's his choice...if he really wants to be with Claire…"

"We're going to be so happy together, and do EVERYTHING together!" Claire declared with a big smile. "Society balls, fashion shows…."

"Playing video games at the arcade." Lincoln added with a sly smile, causing BJ's look of fury to fade to confusion.

"Video games? Arcade?" The blonde haired bully asked, as confused as the disguised ghost.

"Yeah. And when Savvy-Con comes around, we could go in costume together." He continued with confidence. It was then Betty and Lydia caught on to what he was doing, a smirk crossing the former's lips and the latter trying to hide her own grin.

"...what's Savvy-Con?"

"It's the biggest Ace Savvy convention in the country." He explained with excitement, Claire starting to grimace a bit.

"Who...is Ace Savvy?"

"Only the greatest COMIC BOOK superhero to exist." He said, making sure to emphasize the word 'comic book'. It was then Miss Brewster's face went pale.

"C….C….Comic books…?" She stammered, jumping back from Lincoln when she heard that. 'Video games…? Comic books!?' She thought, horrified. No longer was the boy decked out in shining armor in her eyes. Now, he was wearing a collared white shirt, pants up to his chest with suspenders, big ol glasses, and a pocket protector. "O...M….G…" She gasped as she fell to her knees, before screeching to the heavens "NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDD!"

"Wait...what?" Lincoln asked in false perplexity.

"I can't believe I touched a nerd! A shower! I need a chemical shower!" Claire screamed before she ran for the door. Betty snickers cruelly as she waved.

"Bye, mud." She called out, just as the rich girl barged out the door. A loud splat could be heard from outside, followed by a blood curdling scream. "Hahahahahahahaha!"

"...I'm not that bad, am I?" Lincoln asked, feigning hurt feelings.

"Hehehe. No Lincoln. You're wonderful." Lydia commented with a giggle, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Quite clever of you, deceiving Claire about your favored hobbies like that." Prudence said, giving a soft clap to the one son.

"Deceiving? I really do like video games and comic books. I was telling her the truth."

"She can't handle the truth!" Betty suddenly yelled, dressed as a military officer and slamming his fist into his other hand, surprising everyone in the room but Lydia and Lincoln.

"...you are going to explain how you can change that quickly one of these days." Prudence said with crossed arms as Betty spun around, changing back into her usual outfit.

"It's a gift." The specter responded, as security was headed for them again.

"Uh...we were just leaving!" Lincoln called out, bolting toward the door with Lydia and her friends. As soon as they were outside the front door, they paused to catch their breath and wait the rain out. Prudence nudged Lydia as they wanted, gesturing toward the white haired Loud. The gothic girl looked to the boy, then nodded lightly.

"Um...Lincoln…" She said softly, getting his attention. "I'd like to thank you again for being so kind as to help me today...so...I thought I would treat you to lunch."

"That sounds nice. Thanks so much, Lydia." He answered with a smile.

"Excuse us, but I think we have someplace else we need to be." Bertha said, taking Betty by the arm and dragging her away, Prudence right behind them. Lydia felt both a bit of relief and slightly betrayed when her friends hurried away, but she knew that, if she were to tell Lincoln about how she felt, they would need to be alone.

* * *

Lydia and Lincoln returned to reclaim their bags, all still sitting in front of the clothing store, and made their way to a nearby fast food place Lydia frequented (being a kid on a budget). They both got burgers, fries and milkshakes, going out to the patio seats to eat it. "Mmmmm. This is pretty good." Lincoln commented after his first bite of burger. "Almost as good as Burpin' Burger."

"Yeah. It's not good for us, but it is good." Lydia said. She wasn't eating much, her stomach kind of doing backflips. She looks over at Lincoln, who was looking over at her until she looked, turning his eyes down to his food with pink cheeks. She smiled lightly before she cleared her throat. "Lincoln, could I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What do you think of me?" Lincoln froze in the act of nearly taking a bit of his burger.

"What do I think of you?" He asked, making sure he heard correctly. She nodded. "Well...I think you're a very nice girl." He started off. "Smart, considerate. clearly very patient if you hang out with BJ." That got another giggle from her. "And talented...Beetlejuice has told me about some of the things you accomplished. You specialize with photography, but he told me you made your own fashion line at one point, starring in your own rock band, acted as a lawyer, acted in general, made your own haunted house..."

"Well, Beetlejuice helped quite a lot in most of those…" Lydia admitted with a sheepish smile.

"So? My sisters helped me with a few of the things I've tried in the past. It doesn't make it any less awesome that you tried, learned, and even succeeded in most of those endeavors."

"Thanks...do you like me, Lincoln?" She asked suddenly, before she could second guess herself again.

"Of course I do." He replied without hesitation.

"I mean, do you...like me like me...I mean…." Lydia paused, trying to think of how to phrase it, but Lincoln had gotten the gist.

"Oh...well...I…." He stammered. "I….I…" He slapped himself across the face to get himself to calm down. "To be honest, Lydia….Idolikeyoualot!" He said rapidly, his face turning a deep red. While it was difficult to ascertain what he said, Lydia did get the gist. Her own face went pretty red.

"Truth be told, Lincoln...I like you a lot too." She admitted, fighting the urge to turn her gaze to the table. The white haired lad turned to look at her, their eyes meeting.

"Really…?" He asked.

"Yes, I do." She answered, reaching for her bag of fries absently, but overshooting it because her eyes were stuck on the boy's before her. A silly sort of smile appeared on his face as he went for his shake. Just like her, he missed it entirely, his hand meeting hers. The moment their hands touched, their fingers intertwined gently. They just sit there, staring into one another's eyes, holding the other's hand, their food lay forgotten. That is, until a large black and white frog hopped onto their table, snapping them out of their romantic trances.

"Am I interrupting something?" The frog asked as they quickly pulled their hands apart and looked at the amphibian.

"Kinda, yes…" Lincoln replied, kinda grumpily, dodging his head aside as Beetlejuice shot his tongue toward him. However, he was aiming for the bee hovering around his head.

"Mmmmm. Zingy." He commented as he crunched down the bee. With the moment spoiled, the two returned to their meals, while still casting coy glances to one another with small smiles every so often.

* * *

After finishing their lunch, Beetlejuice hid himself in Lydia's hair once more as the boy from Royal Woods and girl from Peaceful Pines went back to finish the last of their errands. A quick trip to the pet store to get cat food, and a slightly longer trip to the pharmacy to get a refill for Mr Deetz' prescription, and the two returned to Lydia's house. Upon their return, Charles motioned for Lincoln to join him over by the couch, while Delia went to help Lydia with the bags. "You wanted to see me, Mr Deetz?"

"Yes, Lincoln. Just wanted to have a little talk with you." He said quietly, kneeling down to look him in the eyes. "Now, my wife seems to have this idea that you and Lydia are...well...an item." The one son gulped, sweating a bit. He had seen how his father acted toward Bobby when Lori first brought him home. He never saw his father that threatening before or since, and he was expecting the same from Mr Deetz. "I think I know my daughter a bit better than that, but just to be safe, I thought we should chat." He placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I can tell you're a good kid, Lincoln, and this probably goes without saying. However, I just want use to have an understanding." He smiled a bit, which put the boy at ease a little. "Lydia is my only daughter. Our pride and joy. And we want to be sure she is treated well, understand."

"Yes, sir. You have nothing to worry about. I promise you I will treat Lydia with the care and respect she deserves." Lincoln replied with a smile, holding his hand up as if taking a solemn vow. This made her father smile and pat him on the back.

"I had a feeling you would. Glad we could have this talk." Charles said.

"Likewise, Mr Deetz." The middle Loud shook his hand before he parted company with him to help Lydia and her mother with the remaining things. After, Lydia brought Lincoln up to her room, under the guise of showing the boy her photos. In reality, she was about to see him off, back home to Royal Woods. "Well, I guess this is goodbye for now." The goth gal said with a soft smile, holding Lincoln's hand as they stood before the mirror leading back to the Loud House, Beetlejuice floating around behind them. He turned to face her, his back to the portal.

"Yeah...it was good seeing your hometown, meeting your friends (albeit briefly), and I had a really good time at lunch." He said to her, his eyes gazing into hers again.

"I did too. And thank you so much for your help again. And I'm sorry about what happened with Claire…" She replied, not taking her eyes off his.

"It's ok, Lydia. Gave me a heck of a story to tell my sisters when I get back home." The two of them laugh softly at that. They then go quiet as they continue to look into each other's eyes, the both of them blushing. BJ, sensing what they wanted to happen, but both sides too bashful to make the first move, decides to take initiative. He grabs the rug and yanks on it. The sudden movement caused Lydia to stumble forward and collide with Lincoln, sending him stumbling back toward the mirror. A split second before he reached the mirror, the surface turned from blue to red. Lincoln gasped as he fell backwards, right into the portal.

"Beetlejuice!" Lydia yelled, glaring back at her friend once she regained her footing.

"Oops...sorry Babes. I was just trying to get the ball rolling with you two…guess I was the one who got tripped up.." He said, looking legitimately apologetic.

"Sigh...at least Lincoln got home o-" It was then Lydia took note of the mirror. "Beetlejuice, what did you do!?"

"Nothing, Lyds! I didn't mess with the mirror! Promise!" The ghost swore as he went in for a closer look.

"Where did he end up going…?" She asked with concern.

"Well, my dear Lydia…" Beetlejuice started to say, changing into a Sherlock Holmes outfit complete with a bubble pipe, Lydia turning into his Dr Watson. "...judging by the color, the swirling vortex of smoke, and the way the writer seems going with the story so far...I believe I can safely deduce that Lincoln Loud has been sent to….The Neitherworld!"

* * *

 _AN: Kinda had to guess/use wikipedia for Bertha and Prudence's personalities, since my memories of them in the show are pretty hazy, and I don't remember Claire's parents appearing completely, except kinda during a halloween episode, so I kinda had to fly by the seat of my pants there. If I goofed up on either, sincerest apologies in advance._


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"The Neitherworld!?" Lydia exclaimed, her hands on her cheeks, a look of horror on her face. "How did that happen!?"

"No clue, babes." Beetlejuice shrugged, examining the mirror closely. "I mean, it led to Royal Woods before….now it leads to the Neitherworld." Before either of them could say or do anything further, the mirror changed back to blue. "...and now it doesn't?"

"What's going on!?"

"I haven't the foggiest." The ghost replied, his head completely surrounded with fog. "Something's messing with our spell…" Lydia frowned, wondering briefly who could possibly have the power to interfere with one of the BJ's spells. However, there was something more important to worry about in her mind.

"We need to get Lincoln back...he could get seriously hurt in the Neitherworld..or worse…" She said, borderline worried sick.

"Take a chill pill." BJ said, handing her a little round pill in an ice cube. "We'll get your boyfriend back. You just need to say the magic words…" Lydia looks up at him, a little annoyed, but didn't feel they had time for her to reprimand Beetlejuice. She took a deep breath.

 _"Though I know I should be wary_

 _Now I venture to someplace scary_

 _Ghostly hauntings I turn loose_

 _Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!"_

* * *

Lincoln groaned as he slowly picked himself off the purplish pavement, rubbing his face a bit. Last thing he remembered was falling back into Lydia's mirror, seeing a void of reddish smoke, and then his face met concrete. Fortunately for him, he hadn't broken his nose or anything else. He got to his feet and slowly looked around. What he saw nearly made him pass out again. All around him was orangish sky with sparse clouds, including under the thin length of ground underneath him. He falls onto his backside and scampers away from the edge, his heart racing from the nothingness he just saw. He looked up and spotted a strange, misshapen blue house with a neon sign that said BJ's Roadhouse. "BJ's Roadhouse? If that's his house...then that means…"He slowly got to his feet, though his legs were trembling. "I'm...I'm in the Neitherworld…" He stammered as he stumbled backwards. He didn't really realize where he was going until he passed by a wooden gateway that wouldn't look out of place in a rodeo. He turned around and saw a house that looked like a giant cow skull. Just then, he heard a yipping bark right behind him. He jumped and spun around, seeing a tiny dog like creature with pink fur and a pair of bull horns on his head. He had a big blue, studded collar on, which was thankfully tied to a post in the sandy yard. The dog was barking its little head off at him. "Whoa...nice boy...I'm not going to hurt anyone…" Lincoln tried to explain. Just then, a shadow cast over him; a very large (compared to him) shadow. He gulped and slowly looked up. Standing over him was a huge, hairy being with no head, eyes or ears, but a big mouth in his chest, He had a cowboy hat on his head, with matching gloves and boots on his hands and feet.

"What in tarnation do ya think yer doing!?" He bellowed angrily, grabbing Lincoln by the back of his shirt.

"I...I...I…." The boy tried to say.

"Looks ta me like y'all were bothering mah Poopsie! Ah don't take kindly tah that! Not at all!" He yelled, holding Lincoln right up to where the human boy assumed his eyes were.

"...I wasn't trying to, sir...I promise...I only just got here, and-"

"Ain't no excuse fer trespassing and messing with mah dog!" The hairy being snapped. "I'mma gonna have ta teach ya a lesson!" He raised his fist into the air, Lincoln covering his face with his arms and closing his eyes.

"Monster! Wait, mon ami!" Came a voice from not far away. Both the hulking hairball and the boy in his clutches turned to see a skeleton with a full set of yellow teeth in his skull, a blue shirt, red shorts, tennis shoes, a little red beret and strangest of all, a thin moustache. Beside him was a little pink spider in a pink chorus girl costume and hair, with little tap shoes on her eight legs.

"Huh? What're ya buttin' in fer, Jacques!?"

"Can't you see how he is just a child, mon ami?" The skeleton pointed out, gesturing toward Lincoln. "I'm sure he meant no harm to anyone, oui?"

"Y...Yes…" Lincoln responded, utterly terrified.

"Besides, look at him...poor thing looks scared out of his wits…" The spider added. "Can't say I blame him...doing a free fall right onto pavement, then being threatened by you…"

"...But he was botherin' mah precious Poopsie…" The monster moaned, his grip slacking.

"He only stumbled onto your property, Monster from Across Ze Street. He looks like he hardly has any idea where he is, much less where he's going."

"Yeah. It was an accident, and you're about to pummel him for it. You should be ashamed!" The spider added, waving her little finger at him. If not for the fact he was fearing for his life, Lincoln would have probably noted how strange it was to have such a little spider scolding this brutish furball about to pound his head in. And even stranger to him, it was working. The being sighed and put the one son down.

"...Mighty sorry, stranger…." He grumbled, somewhat begrudgingly.

"D….Don't worry about it…" Lincoln replied fearfully.

"You'll have to forgive Ze Monster From Across Ze Street." Jacques said as he walked over to the shaking boy, putting a hand on his back. "He can be somewhat short tempered sometimes. It happens when you live so close to Beetlejuice, but he's really a nice guy once you get to know him."

"You guys know Beetlejuice?"

"Oui. We're his neighbors. I'm Jacques LaLean." The bone man introduced himself.

"And I'm Ginga, the tap dancing spider." Ginger said with a proud smile.

"Lincoln Loud." Lincoln said, shaking the hands of the skeleton and the spider.

"Wait a minute….y'all know Beetlejuice?" The Monster from Across the Street asked suspiciously.

"All too well, unfortunately…." Lincoln grumbled.

"Hey! He does know him." The pink spider said with a giggle. "So, how you run into him?"

"Well...my sister Lucy became friends with Lydia-"

"You know Lydia!?" Monster exclaimed, his hat nearly flying off his head.

"...yes, she's a very dear friend of mine." Lincoln responded, a little irked at the interruption.

"Well, tarnation! Why didn't ya just say so in the first place?"

"Would you have believed me then?"

"...good point."

"...anyway, as I was saying...while they were chatting, Lydia stepped away from her keyboard, and Beetlejuice thought it would be funny to tell her how to summon a ghost, namely him..." He then proceeded to tell the three of them of how Beetlejuice haunted his house, how Lucy tried to banish him, and how he and the poltergeist ended up forcibly bound. The excessively hairy cowboy monster was laughing his non-existent head off, slapping his knees, while Ginger was equally in hysterics, her legs flailing in the air as she laughed.

"Haw haw haw! That rattlesnake in the brush finally got what's coming ta him!"

"Sacre bleu...zat is most unfortunate...forced possession, and zen you die...my condolences, Lincoln…" Jacques said sincerely, taking his beret off.

"Wait...I'm not dead!" Lincoln exclaimed, slightly panicked.

"Then what're ya doing here in the Neitherworld?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out…" The white haired boy said, going deep in thought. "One moment, the mirror was a passage back to my home, then the next, I end up falling in and end up here."

"That is pretty strange...I mean, it's not unheard of to have mortals in the Neitherworld accidently, but not like zat." Ginger pointed out, after she took a moment to calm down.

"Beetlejuice probably had a hand in it." The hairy monster said with what Lincoln could only assume was a frown.

"Well, he did trip me up and made me fall into the mirror...but he didn't have anything to do with me coming here…"

"How strange…." The skeletal body builder said, twirling his moustache as he thought. "Who else would ze power to do zat?"

"Scuzzo, perhaps?" Lincoln asked with a shrug. "I mean, he was able to get to Royal Woods-"

"Wha!?" BJ's neighbors all exclaimed.

"But zat's not possible…" Jacques said in shock. "Residents of ze Neitherworld cannot just go to ze mortal realm whenever ze like. Even Beetlejuice needs ta be summoned to cross over."

"And Scuzzo ain't that tough." Monster added with a nod.

"He seemed to be plenty tough when he and BJ fought back home-" The white haired son was interrupted by the sound of a car horn coming from the roadhouse across the street. "What was that?"

"Oh dear...with as long as Beetlejuice has been gone, I think Doomie has gotten cabin fever…" The bone man commented with concern.

"Doomie?"

"Yeah. His car. He calls it Doomie." Ginger explained, shaking her head and clucking her tongue. "I swear, the way some people treat their cars…"

"We better let him out…" Jacques said, walking toward the front door. Lincoln followed him up to the door, passing by a mailbox filled to capacity with letters and magazines.

"But how are you going to-" Lincoln started to ask, but then he stopped himself. "Let me guess...he keeps a skeleton key under the mat."

"Oui. How did you know?" The french skeleton asked as he lifted the mat and pulled a bone key out from under it.

"I think I've been hanging out with Beetlejuice for too long...as if I have a choice." The one son sighed as Jacques unlocked the door. The moment it was unlocked, the door flew open, causing the skeleton to fly into pieces. Lincoln gasped as a green two door with no top with eyes for headlights and a toothy grill in the form of a frown came right at him. It was covered in red spots. Lincoln wasn't quick enough to evade the car and ended up tumbling across the hood, over the windshield, then into the passenger seat face down. He squirmed as he yelled into the seat, Doomie speeding off down the road.

"Uh oh…" Ginger commented as she watched.

"That ain't good…"

The living car careened down the road as Lincoln straightened up in the seat, gulping in terror as he watched the car speed down the highway all by itself. Lacking any way to stop it, he simply buckled the seat belt and braced himself for the ride. A couple minutes in, he heard a police siren behind him. Turning, he saw a pig monster on a motorcycle and in a police officer's uniform, complete with dark sunglasses. The hog cop rides up beside him, glaring at Lincoln. "Pull over!"

"Tell him. He's driving." Lincoln replied, pointing to the front of the car. The officer raised an eyebrow, then noticed the lack of a steering wheel in front of him.

"So he is. Sorry about that." He said, speeding a little further ahead to look at Doomie. "Pull over!" In reply, the car beeped a couple times. "Cabin fever? Ya got a mechanics note for that?" More honks and beeps. "You were locked up for over a month and never got to see a mechanic!? Kid, you need to take better care of your car!"

"What!? This isn't my car! Do I even look old enough to drive!?" Lincoln yelled angrily, gesturing toward the vehicle. The living car seemed to back up his story with his horn like voice.

"Oh! You're Beetlejuice's car! That makes total sense now." The swine officer said with a nod. Lincoln sighed, putting his elbow against the car door, his head in his hand.

"...I remember when the strangest thing in my life was Lisa's experiments…" He said wistfully to him.

* * *

Around this time, Lydia and Beetlejuice had arrived in the Neitherworld, through a door BJ conjured up himself. Lydia leaped down to the front of the road house while Beetlejuice floated down, where they found the front door broken down, and his neighbors trying to put Jacques back together again. "Are you all ok!?" Lydia asked in concern as her incorrigible friend went to his overloaded mailbox.

"Oui. This happens a lot." Jacques said with a shrug of his only connected shoulder.

"What happened here?"

"We heard Doomie beeping to be let out. Poor fella had a bad case of cabin fever." Ginger explained.

"And when Jacques unlocked the door, that crazy car burst through, knocked him ta pieces, and took that Lincoln kid fer a ride." The Monster From Across the Street continued, pointing down the road.

"What!?" Lydia gasped, suddenly turning toward Beetlejuice who was sorting through his mail.

"Bill...bill...you might be a winner...bill…" BJ muttered.

"Beetlejuice! We need to find Doomie!"

"Hold yer horses…" Beetlejuice said, a herd of horses on leashes appearing in front of her, the leashes in her hand. "If Doomie has cabin fever, he just needs to run off the fever. He'll be back soon enough, with Lincoln in tow. He's a smart kid. I'm sure he knows to wear his seatbelt." The goth girl frowned lightly at BJ's blaise attitude. However, he did have a point. Lincoln wouldn't be fool enough to try and leave a fast moving vehicle, and Doomie wouldn't purposely hurt him. Not only that, but they didn't know where the car was headed, so it would be like finding a rat in a maze. However, this was the Neitherworld, and anything could happen.

* * *

After the officer left the recovering dragster to his joyride, Lincoln decided he should just enjoy the ride. Not like he could go anywhere and, he had to admit, it was kind of thrilling to ride in a car with the top down. "I am so getting a convertible." He said to himself. The ride goes on for about ten minutes before reaching this large city that looked like a twisted version of a big city back home. He could heard some loud music and cheering up ahead, leaving him to wonder what was going on. He got his answer seconds later when Doomie skidded to a stop short of what appeared to be some kind of Main Street, filled to the brim with monster, creatures and undead citizens of the Neitherworld. They looked to be having some form of celebration. As the living car had finally stopped, Lincoln felt it was safe enough to unbuckle his belt and maybe find out what was going on. He climbed out of the car and stepped closer. He was quite surprised at how clean the city was, considering, and it didn't smell like he imagined a city in the afterlife would smell. As he strolled into the crowd, he felt a hand grab him by the shoulder. He froze and gulped, thinking he had gone someplace he wasn't meant to be. "Hey there, little man! Welcome to the party!" Came a man's voice from over his right shoulder. He slowly looked up to see a mummified man of medium build in a blue, pin stripe fancy suit, a gaudy tie and blue hair. On his lapel was a yellow 'Vote 4 Me' button.

"Party?" The mummy just looked at the young man for a moment, then chuckled.

"New arrival, eh?" He asked with a grin.

"You could say that…"

"Well, let me be the first to welcome you to the Neitherworld. I'm Mayor Maynot." The full grown mummy introduced himself, shaking Lincoln's hand. "Mayor of this fine corner of the here after."

"Uh...pleased to meet you, sir." The white haired boy replied, his hand being firmly shaken.

"And while you're here, be sure to vote Mayor Maynot for mayor!" He said, hastily putting a button on Lincoln's polo.

"But I'm not old enough to vote." The young man said before he could stop himself.

"Yet." The mummy said with a smirk and a wink, not disuaded. "And to answer your question, our ongoing-" He gestures up to the banner spread in front of city hall, which had a picture of Beetlejuice's latest mugshot with a circle and slash over it. "-No Beetlejuice Festival!"

'Why am I not surprised?' The Middle Son thought. "No Beetlejuice?"

"That's right! A glorious, one month (so far) celebration of the pest, Beetlejuice's, disappearance. And good riddance to him!" The Mayor cheered, patting the boy on the back. Just then, a steel drum started playing and they both turned to see a group of skeletons setting up a limbo pole, using one of the fellow bone men as a pole. "If you'll excuse me...it's time to LIMBO!" He exclaimed, dancing his way over to the growing line of participants. "Don't forget! Vote Mayor Maynot!"

"Wow...there's someone way too wrapped up in politics…" Lincoln said, then he face palmed when he thought about what he just said. "Dang it...he's got me doing it now…" He groaned. He continues to look around, not noticing that BJ's car had backed up and drove away, so he could speed around some more. He spotted a buffet table spanning several blocks, smiling lightly. After everything that happened, he felt like a little snack. He carefully shuffled his way over to the tables, moving around carefully party goers. When he got there, he just looked at the spread with a look of utter confusion. Right in front of him, there was a huge bowl of groaning macaroni noodles, a salad bowl full of greens and corn cobs, a plate of tiny, sleeping pigs under comforters, and a jello mold that smelled so rancid Lincoln nearly passed out. He hastily abandoned the buffet table, having lost his appetite when he backed up into someone. "Oops. Sorry." He apologized hastily, turning back to see who he bumped into. He gasped and hastily shut his eyes. Standing right behind him was teenage gorgon, with a head full of snake hair and wearing flashy pink t shirt and jean shorts, facing away from him. She turned to look at him, about to snap at him, but one look at him made her smile widely.

"Why, heeello there~" She said in a sing song voice. "And who might you be?"

"L...L...Lincoln Loud, miss…?"

"Zola. Gorgon Zola." She introduced herself. "But everyone calls me just Zola. It's cheesy, I know, but I like it."

"A p..p..p..pleasure." The human boy stammered, his eyes tight shut.

"So, cutie, care to dance?" She asked him with what may be interpreted as an alluring wink...if Lincoln could have seen it.

"Well, I-whoa!" The only son was thrown off his sentence when he felt his hand being help and his body being jerked forward. Instead of waiting for an answer, she had decided to just take him to the area sectioned off for dancing. Lincoln could hear what sounded like a brass band playing swing music as the gorgon started to cut a rug with him. While he couldn't see to dance, his flailing about while she swung him around seemed to be serving him well enough; at least he wasn't hitting anyone or stepping on her toes. She pulls him in close, grinning to him.

"You're not bad." She told him. "You'd probably be great if you opened your eyes."

"...but won't I turn to stone…?" Zola blinked, then giggled, slapping her own forehead.

"Oops. Where is my head?" She asked in good humor, pulling a pair of sunglasses from her shirt and throwing them on. "How's that?" Lincoln cautiously opens one eye. The sunglasses seemed to be keeping her from petrifying him. He sighed a little.

"Better." He said, looking her over. She wasn't bad looking, with butter yellow scaly skin and she wore her serpentine hair well. However, she was definitely not his type. The same couldn't be said in reverse, though. She and all of her snakes were staring intently at him.

"Tee hee. So tell me, handsome...are you single?"

"No! No...I have a girlfriend." Lincoln said hastily, sweating a bit.

"Oh…..the nice, cute ones are always taken…" She said, her face falling and sighing, but she perked right up. "Can we finish our dance though?"

"...sure, I guess so." Lincoln replied, seeing no harm in that. Zola grinned as she continued to swing dance with him: ie he's being swung and flung about like a rag doll. As he 'danced', he noticed that the band playing was playing literal brass pipes like they were horns. And it still sounded pretty good. And even if he wasn't really dancing, this was kinda fun. Like an amusement park ride. Unfortunately, at one point, Lincoln's hands ended up slipping free from her grip and flew through the air until he hit a tall, thin, but solid figure in the chest. He falls to the ground, groaning a bit. "Next time, I'm bringing a parachute…" He heard a soft, muffled, angry breathing behind him. He looked up and his pupils shrank to near nonexistence. A featureless, white as a sheet face was looking down at him. While lacking eyes and eyebrows, it was clear this...person?...was glaring at him angrily. He had long, spindly arms and legs, arms crossed in front of him, and was wearing an all black suit with dress shoes and a bowler hat. "Err….sorry about that…" He apologized meekly. A quartet of tentacles emerged menacingly from his back, reaching down toward Lincoln. He shrank down in fear as the tendrils were just inches from touching him.

"Stop it!" Zola snapped, the being looking up in shock as the gorgon glared at him. "Leave him alone!" Having no mouth, the being didn't speak, but Lincoln could tell by his face and hands that he was trying to explain away what he was doing. He took the opportunity to slip away from the tendrils while the gorgon told him off. "Honestly, this is why we broke up in the first place!" She shouted, the faceless teen looking down in what the one son assumed was shame. "You're so jealous and short tempered! Not to mention that fathead you have, just because you have a famous father!" Once more, he tried to communicate with her, seemingly trying to plead with her. "We aren't even dating anyway! He's got a girlfriend already! He's just a nice guy who was dancing with me!"

"Please leave me out of this…" Lincoln muttered under his breath as the abnormally tall, thin being continued his silent pleas.

"Enough! I have nothing more to say to you. Leave us both alone!" Zola snapped, turning her back on the being and storming off. The blank faced teen just watched her leave, looking crushed. Feeling great sympathy for him, in spite of recent hostility, Lincoln slowly moved over and patted him on the back.

"Dude...I'm really sorry…" Lincoln said. The moment he spoke, the creature looked right at him. If he had eyes, there would be murder in them right now. "...eep…"

* * *

Back in front of Beetlejuice's Roadhouse, Bj's neighbors and Lydia had put Jacques back together and BJ had just finished taking care of his mail. "Merci, mon amis." The body building skeleton said as he tested his joints.

"Glad to be of help, Jacques." Lydia replied.

"So, that Lincoln guy was telling the truth?" Monster asked, scratching one of the lumps that was his hair. "About Scuzzo, I mean."

"Yeah. I wasn't there personally, but Beetlejuice was."

"I dunno where he got it, but the clown got some new tricks." The goofing ghoul commented sourly. "Nearly chucked me, the kid and his buddies to the sandworms…" This really alarmed Jacques, Ginger and the cowboy monster.

"The sandworms!? But he can't do that...can he?" The spider woman asked, fearfully.

"Zees is serious. I think we should have a chat with zee law about zis." Jacques said with a deep frown. "Beetlejuice, might I borrow your phone?"

"Knock yerself out." He replied in a bored manner, just as Doomie came driving back to them.

"Doomie! There you are!" Lydia ran over to hug the car, who licked her in return. The two door was looking much better after his little adventure.

"Looks like yer over yer cabin fever." BJ said as he floated over.

"...but where's Lincoln?" The goth teen inquired concernedly. BJ's car honked and beeped, pointing back down the road. "You left him in the city!?"

"What!?" Beetlejuice exclaimed, his hands on his head. "Hop in, Babes! We're gonna go on a Lincoln hunt!" He declared as he jumped into the driver's seat, Lydia hastily climbing in beside him.

"What in tarnation got over Beetlejuice?" The Monster from Across the Street asked, having trouble processing what he just saw. "It ain't like him ta….you know...care."

* * *

"Come on! I said I was sorry!" Lincoln cried as he fled through the streets of the Neitherworld. Not far behind him, the raging, faceless monster not far behind him. With his much longer legs, he was catching up with the white haired boy, his hands reaching out toward his neck. The human boy started to sweat as he ran as fast as he could. Suddenly, before the suited teen could put his spindly fingers on Lincoln, the boy disappeared. The creature skidded to a stop, glancing about, scratching his bald head as he wondered where his prey went. He shrugged after a fashion, then continued his hunt. Peeking out from an alleyway, a humanoid slug monster in a dirty brown trenchcoat and hat watched as the tall, thin being turned a corner.

"That was a close one, kid…" He said quietly, looking back toward the trembling child behind him. "You ok?"

"Y...yeah...I think so...thanks, mister…"

"Inspector, actually. Inspector Tooslow, Neitherworld PD." He introduced himself, showing Lincoln his badge.

"L..Lincoln Loud, Inspector." The boy replied.

"Odd name...but I'm not one to judge." The slug man said.

"Thanks for the save, by the way."

"Think nothing of it." He replied. "But if you want to help me out in return, perhaps you can give me some input." Lincoln tilted his head, looking pretty befuddled.

"I...can try, but I'm not from around here…." He answered, looking apologetically at him.

"I know. You're a livey." Inspector Tooslow told him, surprising Lincoln. "I make it a habit of knowing what goes on in my city. And the info I need is with regard to the land of the living."

"I see...well, what would you like to know?"

"I'm looking for information on a fugitive, who recently escaped to the living world."

"Scuzzo?" Lincoln said before he could stop himself.

"Scuzzo crossed back!?" Tooslow exclaimed, his eyes widening in horror.

"Not any more! He got sent back already!" The boy said quickly, shrinking back in fright.

"...thank goodness." The invertebrate cop commented, wiping his brow. "Scuzzo may be second rate compared to this fugitive, but he's still dangerous. But no. The one I am referring to is named Beetlejuice." Lincoln's eyes widened when he heard that name.

"Dare I ask...what did he do?"

"What DIDN'T he do!?" The detective replied, pulling out a rolled up sheet of paper. "City wide vandalism, assault on Neitherworld Citizens and their sensibilites, pantsing his honor, the mayor, in the middle of a speech…" Lincoln couldn't help but snicker a bit at that. Oddly, Inspector Tooslow smirked a bit too. "Yeah, I thought it was kinda funny too, but it's still a crime. And that's just the lighter stuff he's done here in the Neitherworld. He's committed crimes in the land of the living too."

"L...Like what?"

"The murder of mortals." He answered solemnly, making Lincoln go pale. He knew Beetlejuice was a jerk and an impractical joker, but a murderer? Was the ghost really capable of that? "At any rate, do you happen to have any information regarding this Beetlejuice criminal?" The one son thought about this for a moment. Hearing that BJ had possibly committed murder had him seriously shaken. But then again, who said he really had? He thought he would talk to Lydia about this before he made a serious decision, but...better to be safe.

"I can't say I do...but I'll keep my ear to the ground and let you know." Lincoln told him, getting a smile from the slug man.

"Good man. Here, take this." He handed Lincoln a kind of handheld radio, covered in a thin layer of slime. "It'll let you talk to me, even from the living world." The human boy looked a little disgusted, but carefully took the walkie talkie. "Just keep me posted, ok kid?"

"Sure thing, Inspector." He replied, pocketing the radio. The slug cop peeked out again to see if the slender teen was still seeking Lincoln.

"Coast is clear kid. Happy trails." He informed the boy before letting him head off. Once the boy was off and again, Tooslow lifted his arm to his mouth, revealing a wristwatch radio. "Your honor...I've made contact with the boy linked to Beetlejuice."

"Excellent work, Inspector." The Hanging Judge's voice came from the little radio. "It took some doing to get him here, but I am pleased with the results. Were you able to convince him to assist us?"

"Not necessarily. He seemed hesitant, but I think I scared him when I said the fugitive killed livies." Tooslow muttered. "I gave him one of my radios, so we can keep in touch."

"Very good. Continue to fan the flames of mistrust and discord." The banshee replied before the line went dead. Just then, someone tapped the detective on the shoulder. He glanced back, shocked to see a creature odd even by Neitherworld standards: a tall, snake like creature with a goat like head, one lion arm, one bird talon, one horse leg, one dragon leg, a deer antler, a goat horn, a bat wing, a bird wing, a reptilian tail and a snake fang sticking from his upper jaw. He looked badly burned, with one wing, his eyebrows and the tip of his tail still burning, and he looked MAD.

"You do, and I'll give you such a piiiiinch!" He exclaimed threateningly in a very high pitched voice, shaking a tight first at him and further confusing the gastropod man.

Meanwhile, Lincoln was headed back toward where he thought the square was, though he was uncertain. After all, he had been more or less blindly running through the city trying to escape his pursuer. He did think he was getting close, however, since he could still hear the music from the party. He continues to follow his ears until he turned a corner and found himself covered in shadows, and staring right into several leather clad bodies. He gulped again, thinking 'not again…' as several pairs of hands grabbed him and roughly dragged him away.

* * *

On the Neitherworld Highway, Beetlejuice was driving Doomie like a maniac as he headed for the big city, Lydia clinging on for dear life. She would normally scold her friend for his reckless driving, but in this case, she was willing to overlook it if it meant getting to the city faster. To her amazement, he sped past a cop on a motorcycle, but the cop left him alone (the officer thinking Doomie was still running off his cabin fever). The car came to a stop not far from where he stopped before, where the party was still in full swing. "Hey! A party and they didn't invite me!?" Beetlejuice declared, sounding insulted.

"I think there's a reason." Lydia pointed up at one of the many signs and banners declaring it a 'No Beetlejuice' party. BJ looked up at the sign, sniffled a bit and wiped away a tear.

"My fans." He said proudly with a big smile.

"Maybe you better lay low, Beetlejuice." Lydia whispered, the ghost responding by flattening himself to the car seat. "I'll go see if anyone saw Lincoln." The flattened blob that was BJ nodded as Lydia climbed out of the car and joined the party crowd. She tried to ask a few of the closest patrons, but they were more interested in their own conversations. The sweet but macabre girl was getting more and more frustrated, until she spotted the mayor, who was leaning over, looking sore. "Your honor..are you alright?"

"Good day, Lydia...yes..just overdid it at the limbo contest." He said with a half chuckle. "Er...You know who isn't around, is he?" He suddenly asked, looking around in a kind of panic. Lydia just smiled and gestured around them, pretty much saying 'he's not around, is he?' Mayor Maynot sighed with relief. "Good. Good."

"By the way, have you seen a young man in an orange shirt around here? About so high? White hair?" She asked hopefully.

"Yeah. He dropped by earlier. Nice kid." He said with another guffaw. "Last I saw him, he was over by the refreshments."

"Thank you." Lydia said before she ran over to investigate. Naturally, he wasn't there. She decided to grill the frankenstein monster like chef behind the table. The monster scratched his head for a moment, then pointing toward the sulking Gorgon Zola, standing alone by the dance floor. "Er...excuse me...Miss…" The medusa turned to look at her. "Did you see a white haired boy around here?"

"I sure did...the little darling danced with me." She admitted, Lydia frowning a bit before Zola sighed. "Shame he said he had a girlfriend…" Her frown vanished in an instant, her cheeks bright red.

"Ahem...did you see where he went?"

"My jealous ex chased him away...he is such a creep…" She grumbled sourly, directing her attention to an equally sulky, faceless creature. The girl from Peaceful Pines nodded before she thanked her and started storming over to him.

"Excuse me...I heard you chased away a young man with white hair earlier…" She said to himself, clearly unhappy but trying to be polite. He glared down at her, not even dignifying her comment with an actual response. "Excuse me!" She said a little louder, only to have to dodge a whipping tentacle. "Hey! I was just asking you a-" Her train of thought was interrupted when a pair of long, black psuedopods wrapped around her and lifted her off the ground. "H...Hey! Let me go!" She cried, getting the attention of everyone there. The faceless teen refused to even acknowledge the crowd as they yelled at him and jeered him (as Lydia was quite well liked in the Neitherworld), rearing his remaining tendrils to strike her.

Just then, all goes silent as a firm hand grabbed the angry teen's shoulder. He glared back for a moment before his featureless face contorted in horror. Behind him was an even taller man, also faceless and ghostly pale, in a very fine black suit and tie, leering down at him. He hastily dropped Lydia, turned to face the tall, thin man and falling to his knees, silently begging for forgiveness. The pale man simply pointed to Lydia, causing the faceless teen shifted around, now begging Lydia on bended knee. "Hmph….I suppose I could forgive you...if you tell me where you chased Lincoln." In an instant, he pointed a stick like finger down the alley he pursued Lincoln down. "That's better. Thank you." She said, though with a slightly acidic tone. The taller of the two suddenly pointed back toward the right, stamping his foot. The younger creature stood up, head hung as he took the walk of shame back toward where Lydia assumed home was. The suited creature then gently put a hand on Lydia's back as he personally started to escort the girl down the alley. "Thank you so much, Mr Sl-" She started to say, as the creature metamorphed into a much more familiar form to her; to that of the stripe suit wearing practical joker she knew and loved. "Beetlejuice?"

"I guess there's something to be said for the silent treatment." He jested with a snicker.

"Hehehe. Thanks for the assist, BJ."

"Anytime, Lyds. Now, how about I put on the dog…" He suddenly turned into a black and white striped bloodhound. "...and see if we can sniff out Mr President?" Lydia quickly scooped up his leash as Beetlejuice took the lead, nose to the path. He had Lincoln's scent up until he reached a single shoe in the middle of the path. "Sorry, Lydia..but the trail ends here." He told her before changing back.

"Well, at least we do have one clue...that's Lincoln's shoe." She said, picking the sneaker up. "He was here…" She glanced down at the ground and spotted a thread on the pavement. She knelt down and picked it up. "...leather thread?" She asked in confusion.

"Uh oh…" Beetlejuice said, pointing over at a metal knitting needle laying by the garbage cans nearby. "That's not good…"

"What is it?"

"Lyds...the kid's been nabbed by….HECK'S GRANNIES!" He screamed to the heavens.

* * *

Miles away at this point, a gang of leather cardigan wearing elderly women was rolling down the highway on their hogs, hooting and hollering as the roared along. Sitting in a car seat in a sidecar was Lincoln, glancing over at the fourth wall. "Just when I think I've seen it all…." He said glumly as the gang rolled up to what looked like a fusion between a biker bar and a rest home, with a fleet of harley's in nice, neat rows and columns. The geriatrics all parked by the front entrance. They were out in the middle of bumble freak nowhere. Their leader (a bulky woman in a leather sweater with her gang's emblem on the back, leathery, witch like skin, a silvery beehive wig, tight jeans that made Lincoln cringe, and leather boots and gloves) hopped off her bike and unbuckled Lincoln from his car seat, taking him by the hand.

"There we go, sweety." She said, walking him to the door like he was a toddler. He tried to pull away, but she was MUCH stronger than she looked and stronger than he was. He was dragged into the building, where he saw he was in a large juice bar area, further emphasizing the fusion in Lincoln's mind. The building was packed with undead old ladies; some drinking juices, some playing bridge at the tables, and an entire wall of lined with chairs, where zombie grannies were knitting leather sweaters, cardigans, shawls and mittens. "Here we are. Safe from that nasty old city."

"...I didn't think that was even possible…" The young man commented, gesturing toward the knitting line.

"It's not easy…" The leader said with a giggle. "But it's our style, and we wear it proud. In fact, we made you one too." Lincoln blinked as he was suddenly fitted with a knitted vest.

"Er...that's appreciated but...hey, this looks great!" he commented with a smile.

"Thank you, dearie. Why don't you have a look at the back?" Lincoln pulled off the vest and looked at the patch on the back, which read 'Neitherworld's cutest grandson'. His smile shifted into a look of concern.

"I don't like where this is going…." He told the audience as he was forcibly escorted down a hall to the left, lined with doors like Pop Pop's rest home. "Uh...if it's not rude of me to ask…"

"Not at all. Go right ahead." She replied sweetly.

"...where are we going?"

"To get your something to eat, sweetie."

"Er...thank you, but my Dad probably has dinner ready back home…I should pr-"

"Nonsense! Look at you. You're all skin and bones. How do you expect to grow up to be a big, strong man if you don't eat right?" Oddly, instead of taking him to the cafeteria, she took him into one of the rooms made for the biker grannies. He looked around a little confused, until he saw her pull out a little kid's sailor suit.

'Oh no…' He thought, backing up toward the door being attempting to bolt. Unfortunately, he wasn't quick enough.

"Ah ah ah, You're not escaping Granny Crankshaft that easy." She said, in the giggly tone of a mother catching a fleeing baby. She easily pulled him back in and forced him to change clothes into the suit. He took one look at himself and looked very grumpy.

"That's twice in one day this silliness happened…." He grumbled to himself. "It can't get more humiliating than this…"

Scene Wipe…

Lincoln was now firmly secured into a high chair, his arms locked to his sides, and a little baby bib around his neck. "I. Stand. Corrected." He said in a slow, deadpan voice, his cheeks a bright crimson. He struggled and squirmed, trying to free himself as Granny Crankshaft approached with a tray of baby food.

"Here come your yum yums." She said in a sing song voice.

"Er...Granny…"

"Oh, I love being called that."

"I'm eleven years old...and my par-"

"Well, you're always gonna be Granny's little baby." She interrupted him, patting him on the head. "Now open wide and say aah."

"Not for all the free tokens in the world…." Lincoln said firmly. However, before he could press his mouth shut, Granny Crankshaft shoved a spoon into his mouth, filled with strained carrots. With a quick flick of the spoon, the puree went right down his throat before pulling it out. "Blech!" He gagged, sticking his tongue out. "That is putrid…."

"Tut tut. It's good for you." She said, shoving some strained peas into his mouth. "Yummy yum yum." She chanted as she kept shoveling baby food into his mouth, not giving him a chance to put up a fight.

* * *

"Any sign of him, BJ!" Lydia yelled up to her friend, who was soaring high up in the sky, which she rode in Doomie. The ghost had turned himself into an eagle.

"Nothing, babes!" He yelled, still scanning the area. "My eagle eyes can't spot him…"

"Where could they have gone…?" Lydia asked as she slumped back against the seat.

"No idea...those little geriatric firebrands could be anywhere…" Beetlejuice flew down so he could talk to her.

"Who are these 'Heck's Grannies'?" She inquired, glancing up at the bird that was Beetlejuice.

"Ever hear of Hell's Angels?" Lydia slowly nodded. "Same thing, only they're a gang of old ladies. They go around raising a ruckus, while kidnapping young guys and gals, feeding them, playing with them, knitting stuff for them, generally doting over them…"

"That doesn't sound so bad…"

"Oh no? Ever hear of the phrase 'kill em with kindness'? That's their motto." He cautioned her. A new wave of fear came over Lydia.

"We need to find Lincoln!"

"Well, it's not like Lincoln is tagged like a wild animal…" The distraught teen sighed, but then brightened up in an instant.

"Actually, he is!" She exclaimed suddenly. The striped eagle turned to face her with a raised eyebrow. "Lisa told me she put tracking devices in her siblings, right before she tried to deny it. If we can get her tracking device, we can find Lincoln."

"Hey! That's not a bad idea, babes." BJ said with a grin. "I'll be back in two shakes of a tail feather." With that, Beetlejuice disappeared in a puff, a worm, a bat, and a tin can.

"Hang in there, Lincoln…"

* * *

Back in Royal Woods, Lisa was rapidly typing at her computer keyboard, exploring the Neitherworld Internet with the cool eye of a professional. Much like their own information superhighway, it was MASSIVE and a lot of information on it was useless. However, she was confident in her abilities, and desperately wanted to get rid of Beetlejuice, so she soldiered on. While she was exploring, the spectral prankster appeared right in her room, glancing around. "What do you want, Beetlejuice?" She inquired without looking at him.

"Where's that tracker thing you use to keep tabs on your sibs?"" Beetlejuice asked, starting to search the room before she could answer.

"...why?" Lisa asked, slowly turning from her work, her eyes narrowed.

"We...uh….kinda lost Lincoln.."

"WHAT!?" Lisa bellowed, startling her sisters, as she rarely yelled like that.

"Settle down, kid...we'll find him, but we need your tracker thing…" He said hastily in a hushed voice, sweating a little. Lisa glared daggers at him. However, she drew her tracking device from her pocket.

"Ensure my brother returns home safe." She ordered him as she handed the invention over. "Or I will make it my life's work to create a method of resurrecting you, just so I can end your life again." She threatened him quietly. BJ gulped, a little shaky. She may be a child, but he didn't doubt that she would pull that off.

"...hear that loud and clear, Little Einstein…"

"Don't call me that." She growled before returning to her work, BJ vanishing in a puff of smoke.

* * *

Lincoln groaned, his face covered in blotches of baby food, his stomach bulging some, and a somewhat pained look on his face. "No more…" He moaned.

"I think you might have had enough." Granny Crankshaft said, putting the tray down, picking the boy up, and patting him on the back.

"I told you before, I'm not a baby…." Lincoln said sourly, but she was paying him no mind. He sighed in frustration and said. "...burp."

"Such a good boy. Now, how about we go see all of Granny's friends so they can meet her precious little man?" She said as she set Lincoln down. However, before he could make a run for it, a chain harness was put around him and she started to drag him along again.

"Oh, come on!" Lincoln growled as he was being pulled like a stubborn dog. However, even though it was makeshift, it was still a harness made to hold infants, not someone like Lincoln. He glanced back at her as she stepped forward, smirked, and slipped right out of the chains. Unfortunately, she was quick to notice that the harness felt much more slack. She turned just in time to see Lincoln heading for the hills.

"Hey there! Come back here, you little scamp!" She called out, chasing after him.

'Not a chance.' He thought to himself as he ran as fast as he could toward the front door. With a slight head start, he thought he was in the clear. However, up ahead, he saw a horde of biker elders blocking his path out. "Uh oh…"

"Well, would you look at that?" One of the elder bikers in front of him said with a grin.

"Just couldn't wait for Granny to bring you to her friends, could you?" Crankshaft asked, having finally caught up, putting Lincoln between a rock and a hard place.

"Isn't he the cutest?"

"He's just precious in his little sailor suit…"

"And that white hair...just like his grandpa."

'How on earth did they know that!?' Lincoln mentally asked in panic as the geriatric gang started to gang up on him. Within seconds, the one son was getting his cheeks pinched, his hair ruffled and getting kissed all over his face by the small army of passed grannies. It was beyond overwhelming. However, even if he had the strength of Lynn, he wouldn't be able to do anything, since they weren't necessarily threatening his life, and they were elderly ladies besides. He still needed to get out of there, but the question was how? 'I could really use Beetlejuice's help about now…' Upon thinking that, an idea came to him. "Wait!" Lincoln yelled, bringing everything to a screeching halt. "You've all been so nice to me...I thought a little surprise was in order."

"Oh! A surprise! What is it?" Granny Crankshaft cooed excitedly.

"Ah ah ah. If I say, it won't be a surprise." Lincoln replied logically with a secretive smile. That earned him a fresh chorus of 'that is so cute' and 'what a little sweetie'. "If you would allow me to get to the stage…"

"The stage! How nice...but you can't take the stage like that…" Another one of the biker's said, picking at his sleeve.

"Too right. Let's get you in something more appropriate." Two of the biggest little old ladies picked the boy up by his arms and started to drag him to the back of the mini stage in the juice bar. Lincoln gasped a little upon being lifted, but didn't struggle. If it got him where he needed to go, then was ready to roll with it.

* * *

"Here it is, babes." BJ said, handing the tracker to Lydia when he returned to the Neitherworld. "And Lisa says hi."

"Thanks, Beetlejuice." Lydia fiddled about with the device for a moment, before she eventually got it turned on. A tiny blip could be seen in the far distance. "There he is!"

"Great! Now that we know where to go, we-" He froze, perking his ear up for a moment. Then, a big grin appeared on his face.

"What is it?"

"Excuse me, babes...but someone is playing my song." He answered, a mic appearing in his hand before he vanished into thin air.

* * *

A spot light shone on the tiny stage in the resting home bar, the white haired lad being shoved onto stage in a little brown suit that looked like he had raided Frank Sinatra's closet. He looked down at the suit, thinking 'well, it's not the worst thing...better than looking like a human Donald Duck.' He looked out at the full house of old maid bikers, a little nervous, but he had a plan and he needed to execute it now. He tapped the microphone after adjusting it to his height. He then cleared his throat before he began to sing:

 _"I don't know just where I am_

 _So I call for this spectral ham…"_

"He has a beautiful voice…" One of the punk grannies said with a sigh.

"Our little man is so talented." Another agreed. Granny Crankshaft, however, was frowning slightly. Something didn't seem quite right with this song.

 _"Now since you won't turn me loose…_

 _Here comes Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice…."_ As Lincoln sang, Beetlejuice suddenly appeared on stage in a lounge lizard suit, standing beside the middle Loud to finish the tune with him.

 _"Beeeeeeeeetlejuuuuuuuuice!"_ The house lights turned on as almost every fuddy duddy in the audience started clapping for the two of them, the boy and ghost taking a bow.

"Thank you. Thank you. You're too kind. Be sure to tip your waiters and waitresses, and good night!" Beetlejuice declared, bringing his possessee backstage, blowing kisses to their fans.

"Wait a minute!" Crankshaft snapped, rising to her feet. "That was Beetlebrat! He's taking my new grandson!" She shrieked, the other members of her gang finally realizing what they just saw. "Get them!" The swarm of undead elderly folk started to storm the stage, Lincoln and his possessor making a run for it through the halls.

"Thanks, Beetlejuice."

"We aren't out of the woods yet." The specter responded, the hall around them changing to look like some dark, distant woods for a moment. He looked over his shoulder, his eyes bulging out of his head when he saw the thundering swarm of geriatrics behind them. "Don't look now, kiddo, but we got company!"

"Any ideas!?" Lincoln asked fearfully, his own mind scattered from panic and his focus on getting away.

"Just one." He replied, suddenly dressed like Freddy Jones. "Let's split up gang!" Up ahead, there was a four way intersection. Lincoln ran one way, while the Freddy BJ went the other, and a third Beetlejuice continued going straight. Unfortunately, Granny Crankshaft went right after Lincoln, while the other bikers paused to look in the other directions, a little confused by the two forms of BJ before they split up to go after both of them.

The first group charged behind the ascot donning Beetlejuice, who was running for his afterlife. They were screaming how they were going to force an entire jug of castor oil down his throat when he dove into one of the rooms to the left. The small squad of punk grannies dashed in after him, but to their surprise, they found themselves in a darkened cocktail lounge. The room was empty, except for a dark figure on the stage. The stage lights suddenly turned on, revealing Beetlejuice all dressed up like Bing Crosby. The old ladies all gasped in surprise, getting starry eyed as they gazed upon him. He slowly turned to look at them and flashed them a winning smile.

"You must have been a beautiful ghooooooouly. You must have been a beautiiiiful ghost…" He crooned masterfully. The elderly lady's all screamed in delight and all fell backwards in a faint. Beetlejuice smirked and winked to the audience. "Gets em every time. But how do I get these wrinkled old ghouls to leave the kid alone…?" He looked around lazily for a moment for inspiration, spotting a payphone on the wall. He just stared at it for a moment before grinning evilly. He floated over, flicked a quarter into the slot and quickly dialed in a number. He rubbed his fingernails against his jacket while he waited for someone to answer the phone.

Meanwhile, the second Beetlejuice flew off along the hall, rubbing his chin a bit while being chased by the gang of old biddies. How was he going to get these crones of his and Lincoln's back, he wondered to himself. 'Think, Beetlejuice. You have a pack of old ladies chasing you...old ladies who kidnapped a kid they saw as cute…' An idea suddenly occurred to him, but he'll need to get the grannies to keep chasing him. He flew right out a window, shattering it in the process. As soon as the group got to the window, he turned around in mid air and blew a razzberry at them. "Nah nah nana nah!" He taunted before shaking his rump at them. That did it. The angry geriatrics leap out of the window and dasharound front to get their hogs, chasing after the pranking poltergeist.

* * *

Lincoln ran as quick as his legs could carry him, headed for the front door with the gang's leader hot on his heels. He could see the juice bar right ahead of him, thinking he was home free. However, just as he was crossing the threshold, he felt something snag his ankles, making him fall flat on his face. He looked back to see the chain harness Crankshaft had earlier now entrapping him, the ghoulish granny glaring at him as she stomped over. "You ungrateful little brat!" She screamed, grabbing him by the collar of his suit. "We take you in, give you lovely clothes, feed you, and THIS is how you repay us!?"

"You mean you kidnap me, turn me into your own personal dress up doll, and nearly make me upchuck by force feeding me baby food!" Lincoln snapped indignantly, glaring right back at her.

"Don't you sass back at me, young man!" She barked, pulling him to a chair and putting him over her knee. "Maybe a good hide tanning will teach you some manners!"

"What!? You can't do that!"

"Why not?" She asked with a sinister sneer, putting an army hat on her head. "I was always a fan of 'corporal punishment'." Lincoln's face went paler than usual as she raised her hand over him. Before she could bring down the figurative hammer, the front door exploded in a shower of splinters, glass and brass. They both looked up to see Doomie surging into the bar area, smashing up tables as he went. Lydia had ducked down to avoid getting hit by shrapnel, popping up as soon as the car stopped.

"Lydia!" Lincoln's face lit up as he saw his gothic girlfriend's face.

"Lincoln!" She cried out in return.

"How dare you, you little urchin!" Granny Crankshaft screamed, waving her fist at Lydia. The raven haired teen glares at her, reaching for Doomie's radio volume dial. In one swift motion, she turned it all the way up, blaring some Neitherworld rock from the living dragster's speakers. Unfortunately, Granny Crankshaft just crossed her arms with an unamused look. "Is that suppose to bother me!? I used to play drums for a death metal band! This is sissy stuff compared to that!" Fortunately, the sound drowned out the clattering of chains as the one son wiggled from his bindings and jumped off her lap. "Hey!" She made a grab for him, but Lydia had pulled him into the sentient car before she could touch him.

"Thanks, Lydia…" He said, giving her a big hug and making her blush brightly.

"You aren't getting away that easy you little…" The biker leader growled, cracking her knuckles as she strode toward them. Seeing the threatening woman approaching, Doomie growled and blared the horn as if he were barking.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Lydia warned her.

"Oh yeah!? Well, I bet this heap is all bark and no bite!" Crankshaft snapped, making another move on them.

"I tried to warn her…" The teen girl muttered as Doomie 'barked' some more, becoming more of a vicious growl. His chassis grew blood red fur, his grill turned into some very Beetlejuice like teeth, and glowing yellow headlight eyes. A pale of talon like arms sprouted from his front.

"L...Lydia? What's going on…?" A frightened Lincoln asked as Doomie really growled at the old biker lady, who had now realized she messed up.

"Doomie is a special car, thanks to Beetlejuice's...interesting mechanical skills." Lydia explained calmly, not even flinching as the weredragster pounced at Granny Crankshaft, causing her to run away screaming. "He can become 'The Dragster of Doom' whenever he is angry, afraid or protecting those he cares about."

"So….a werewolf-mobile?" He asked as Doomie snickered before driving out of the retirement bar, creating another hole in the wall before roaring down the road.

"Yeah. Something like that. He also changes when he sees Neitherworld dogs, for some reason."

"Probably payback for all the dogs that chased him in life." Lincoln joked, feeling more relaxed in spite of the fact he was riding in a monster dragster. That got a soft laugh from Lydia. Her laughter died as she heard the roar of motorcycles behind them. One look behind them showed a fleet of over a dozen silver haired bikers pursuing them.

"Can...Doomie outrun them?" Lincoln asked, stuttering a little as he saw Granny Crankshaft at the front, her face red with rage.

"I think so…" Lydia replied, though she didn't sound too confident. She then heard the sound of chopper motors to their right. She turned frightfully, but her terror turned to bemusement when she saw a second squad of bikes chasing after Beetlejuice in the distance. She wondered for a moment what he was thinking when she heard the sound of metal on furred metal behind them.

"They've hooked us!" Lincoln cried. Sure enough, there was a grappling hook latched to the back of the car. What's more, one of the bikers starting to tightrope walk their way across.

"Lincoln, there's a hacksaw in the back! Take care of the rope!" Lydia instructed before leaning against the dash to look at Doomie's eyes (or as close as she could in her position). "Doomie, can you go off road?" The Dragster of Doom nodded wildly before he popped the trunk. Lincoln hurriedly reached into the trunk and pulled out a saw that was coughing, wheezing and hacking, with its tongue sticking out of its handle.

'Why did I expect anything else?' Lincoln thought in a deadpan manner before he was reminded of their situation. He starts sawing through the rope, while the old ghoul was halfway across.

"Whoa! Hold on, dearie…." She called out, a nervous smile on her face. "You wouldn't do that to a little old lady, would you?" Lincoln paused a moment, the rope holding on by a mere strand. She continued to inch closer, when the young man remembered that these 'little old ladies' were threatening him and Lydia. He slashed at the rope one last time, causing it and the offending biker to fall to the road below. The moment she was gone, the werecar turned sharply onto the rocky ground, Lincoln tossing the hook overboard. The young man and young lady quickly buckled their seat belts as Doomie droved faster. However, the motorcycles were refusing to give up, and were even able to keep up with the werecar.

"How long can Doomie keep this up?" Lincoln inquired, the sound of the numerous motors behind them making him more nervous than ever. Lydia looked at Doomie's 'gas gauge' and gulped.

"...you don't want to know." She muttered. Just then, they heard a clanging sound up ahead. A train barrier was making a warning noise as it lowered, forcing Doomie to stop. Lincoln was about to freak out, but then he heard Heck's Grannies stop their bikes too. He looks back at them as they patiently wait for the barrier to let them all pass.

"...I have so many questions right now…" Lincoln said, utterly lost now. Just then, Beetlejuice flew past them, still being chased by the second half of the gang on the tracks. "...and that answered some of them." He added after witnessing this strange sight. With the second chase long past, the barrier lift and their chase continued.

"At least Doomie got a little rest." Lydia interjected. "That's a plus."

"Yeah, but it looks like he's overheating…" The middle son pointed out, noting how much the Dragster of Doom was sweating. The lycan-vehicle growled as he skidded into a turn and faced the Heck's Grannies, who all stopped in their tracks. He ground his tires into the dirt, like a bull ready to charge.

"Oh! Wanna play chicken, eh!?" Granny Crankshaft smirked, revving her engine. "Have it your way, fuzzy. Let's play!" BJ's pet car charged forward, the gang of bikers surging toward him at the same time.

'I hope he knows what he's doing….' Lincoln privately hoped as he and Lyda clung to each other in this forced game of chicken. The were dragster smirked with confidence, as the grannies all grit their teeth. The white haired lad and raven haired gal closed their eyes as their car and the bikes grew closer. Before they could collide, the geriatric hog enthusiasts swerved to avoid him. However, the moment they did, they drew their knitting needles and stabbed each of Doomie's tires in passing. Doomie howled in pain before coming to a complete stop, returning to normal and whimpering.

"Doomie! Are you alright!?" Lydia asked, fearful for her vehicular friend's health.

"I think you should be worrying more about yourself, brat!" Granny Crankshaft said with a harsh laugh, dismounting her bike and cracking her knuckles. "You two are gonna get the spanking of your lives...from each, and every one of us!" She ran over to the car before they could get out of their seat belts, leaving the two to lean back away from her, trembling in each other's arms as she reached for Lydia.

"LITTLE CARLA CRANKSHAFT!" The gang leader froze in place when she heard that raspy voice scream her name. She, Lincoln, and Lydia turned their heads to see a dusty, but bulky skeleton in a soft seafoam green mumu, wearing sunglasses, and a wide brimmed hat, carrying a cane.

"...Mommy?" She whimpered as the bone woman shakily made her way over to her.

"What do you think you're doing, young lady!?" Great Granny Crackshaft demanded to know, waving her cane at her.

"...Just dishing out some discipline, mommy…." She replied meekly, trying to step back.

"Discipline!? What do you know of discipline, dressed like a hooligan!?" She snapped, slamming her cane against the ground. "And speeding!? Taking these nice kids!? Making a ruckus at all hours of the night!? That's not right! Now go to your room, young lady!"

"Mommy….I'm over two hundred years old…" Granny Crankshaft whined, just as her mother grabbed her ear.

"Doesn't mean you're too old for a spanking!" Her mother yelled, starting to drag her away, but then she stopped and glared back at the rest of Heck's Grannies. "And don'tchu think you bad influences are getting off scot free! Your mothers will be coming for you too!" The rest of the biker's suddenly look horrified as they suddenly scattered before headed back for home. Great Granny Crankshaft then turned her attention to Lincoln and Lydia. "I'm so very sorry, young man, young miss. My daughter can be positively truculent sometimes…"

"D...don't worry about it…." Lincoln said through clattering teeth. "We aren't hurt…"

"Just scared out of our wits." Lydia added quietly.

"I'm glad to hear that...rest assured, Carla will not be bothering you again...now say you're sorry. Carla!" Granny Crankshaft looked down a grumbled a half assed 'sorry' out. "Now come along...you're going to bed without supper, and don't even think of listening to the radio!" She continued her ranting as the two undead elders strolled off into the sunset, Beetlejuice floating down beside the injured Doomie with a snicker.

"Beetlejuice, did you have a hand in that?" Lydia asked as her friend set his boots on the ground.

"Yep." He replied with a grin. "I'm not too proud to call someone's Mommy on them." Lydia, Lincoln and Doomie all chuckled at that. "Yeah, I found it funny too. Now, if you two lovebirds aren't too 'tired'..." The two still in the car realized they were still embracing, blushing quite a lot, but neither letting go either. "...Doomie needs to be changed…" BJ continued, changing into a mechanic's outfit and putting a bonnet on the car. The poor car grumbled at him, but there was nothing he could do as the ghost put him up on jacks to change his tires.

* * *

A few Neitherworld hours later, the group finally returned to BJ's Roadhouse, where Jacques was waiting, looking rather upset. "Home sweet home!" Beetlejuice exclaimed, his face and hands covered in grease. Lincoln was sitting beside Lydia in the only other seat in the car, helping her clean the gunk off her face with a handkerchief that was in the suit pocket.

"Thank Lincoln." She said with a soft smile.

"Anytime." He replied. He then noticed the frowning skeleton. "Jacques? Are you alright?"

"What's up, Jacques? Poopsie try to bury you again?" Beetlejuice asked as he hovered out of the driver's seat.

"Non. After I called ze police earlier about Scuzzo going to ze real world...and ze blew me off. Saying it was impossible, and zat Scuzzo was in custody, and always has been." Jacques complained, crossing his arms.

"Always? That's malarkey. I have a Scuzzo shaped imprint on my baseball bat that proves it." Beetlejuice said with a frown.

"Why would they say he was always in custody?" Lincoln muttered to himself as he and Lydia got out of Doomie.

"...something about that stinks worse than Beetlejuice's socks…" Lydia commented quietly.

"Lydia...do you have a minute?" Lincoln whispered. "I have something I need to talk to you about." She nodded, the two of them going around the side of the roadhouse. "Before I got snatched up by Heck's Grannies, I had a run in with a Neither World detective…" He told her quietly.

"A detective?" Lydia looked a little confused.

"Yeah...he said he knew I was from the land of the living, and he asked me about Beetlejuice.."

"Do you think he knew that you and him are bound?"

"I doubt it. I never told him." Lincoln replied, shaking his head. "But as his last known location was on the mortal coil, he thought I may know something...he told me something that...kinda disturbed me." When she heard that, she gently took Lincoln by the hand.

"What did he say?" She asked, her voice drenched with worry.

"He told me about some of the crimes Beetlejuice committed, both here and in our plane...he said Beetlejuice killed people…" The one son went a little pale at that, but Lydia looked angry.

"Lincoln, I want you to listen to me." She said seriously, turning his head to look him in the eyes. "I've known Beetlejuice for a while. I know he can be a jerk. I know he is an irrepressible prankster. I know he can cross the line sometimes. And I KNOW he's no murderer." She continued to speak, her eyes locked onto his.

"...really?" Lydia gave him a firm nod, followed by a reassuring smile. Lincoln smiled in return. "Thanks Lydia. And thanks for literally saving my butt from those crazy bikers."

"Hehehehe. You're welcome." She replied to him, taking her hands off his head. "I'm just glad you're safe." The two of them go silent for a moment as the two of them just looked at one another, their cheeks kind of flushed. Lincoln glanced around for a moment to see if they were really alone. He could hear Jacques and BJ discussing what the skeleton had just learned, and there was no sign of anyone else. This was the time, he thought. He looked back to the goth girl before him, his cheeks flaring up more. He closed his eyes and started to lean in closer to her. Unbeknownst to the middle Loud, Lydia had started doing the same thing. Their lips soon met, their eyes opening wide at this realization. They look into each other's eyes, smile, and resume their soft kiss.

"...It's a Kodak moment." Beetlejuice suddenly commented with a snicker, snapping them out of their moment.

"Seriously, Beetlejuice….?" Lincoln groaned, glaring at the ghost with the most.

"Well, you two were standing there for like five minutes…" He pointed out with a bigger grin, making the two blush even more. "So, I guess Lydcoln is official?"

"Would you just shut up…?" The white haired boy grumbled, Lydia giggling inaudibly. The three of them returned to the front of BJ's place and, upon bidding his skeletal neighbor adieu, entered his adobe. Exactly as Lincoln expected, his house looked like a haunted house, though he had to admit it was cleaner than he expected. Granted, everything was covered in a layer of dust, but he was expecting an absolute pig sty.

"Ah...I missed the old place…" BJ said with a sigh, smiling as he looked around his non-living room.

"With emphasis on old…" Lincoln muttered as he noticed the ancient television and furniture.

"Yeah…." The goofing ghost said. "Be it ever so morbid, there's no place like home."

"Come on, Beetlejuice. Let's get Lincoln on his way home." Lydia said, motioning for her ghostly friend and the white haired boy to follow her. Lincoln was grateful for this, since his adventures in Peaceful Pines and the Neitherworld left him physically and mentally drained. Besides, he was certain his parents were wondering where he was.

* * *

"That's strange….where is Lincoln?" Lynn Sr asked with concern, looking over at the empty place and full plate at the table. "I told him to be back in time for dinner…" Rita also looked kind of worried, while their ten daughters looked to one another.

"I'm sure he's on his way back." Lori said with a small smile, trying to ease their worries.

"He probably just lost track of time offering his assistance to Lydia." Lisa reasoned, though she knew there was more about it.

"Who is Lydia?" Their father inquired, a frown appearing on his face.

"She's a friend of Lincoln and Lucy's." Rita piped up, getting Lynn Sr's attention. "A very nice and polite girl."

"Yeah." Leni interjected between bites of succotash.

"And pretty cool too." Lynn Jr added.

"Knowledgeable of the supernatural." Lucy followed up with.

"And I cannot deny she had a certain level of intellect about her." The mini genius commented.

"...huh. I guess I'm the only one who hasn't met her." The Loud Patriarch said, rubbing his chin.

"You have been pretty busy lately, dear." Rita pointed out. "Perhaps we could ask Lincoln if we can arrange a meeting."

"Yeah...we could." He replied, sitting back down at his place. At that moment, Lincoln had emerged from the mirror in the hall, his stumbling muffled by the rug. As he didn't want his parents to know what happened regarding the Neitherworld (at least right now), he had asked BJ to change him into his usual clothes before he crossed over. He carefully descended the stairs and crept over to the front door. Lily and Luan had spotted him, but a quick, silent sssssh from Lincoln was enough to tell them not to say anything yet. He quickly opened, then closed the door before announcing:

"I'm home!"

"See? Just like I said." Lori pointed out as the one son's sisters all greeted him.

"There you are, Lincoln. We were getting pretty worried, son. Your succotash is still piping hot." Lynn Sr called out, a relieved smile on his face. However, the last thing the boy wanted was food, still feeling kinda sick from being overstuffed with baby food.

"Actually...think you could pack it up for me, Dad? I'm not especially hungry…" He said with a slight groan, which made his parents look at him with alarm. "Lydia and I had a big lunch." He added hastily, which calmed Rita down and made all ten of his sisters grin in a knowing manner.

"Oh….of course, Lincoln." Lynn Sr answered, not at all eased in his worry, but putting on a smile anyway.

"Thanks, Dad…" The white haired boy said before yawning. "If you'll all excuse me, I had a long day and really need a nap."

"Go right ahead, dear. Have a nice rest." Rita responded with a soft nod. As Lincoln started scaling the stairs, Lisa lightly pushed herself back from her seat.

"Parental units, might I be excused for the briefest moments? I need to use the facilities." Once she was given permission to leave the table, she hastily scampered upstairs just as Lincoln was halfway to his room. "Elder brother, are you alright?" She asked in a low voice. The middle Loud turned to speak, but Lisa made a hushing motion, hinting she wanted this kept at a low volume.

"Yeah...I'm fine, Lisa. Why?" He answered softly.

"Beetlejuice told me that he had succeeded in losing you…" Lisa told him quietly. "...and I neglected to tell the others. They are happier not knowing...and on that note, did that spectral simpleton have the manners to return my tracker?" Lincoln was a little confused at first, but then remembered that BJ had given him a strange device before he returned. He reached into his pocket and handed her the tracking device. "Much obliged, Lincoln. If I might ask...what did happen?"

"I'll explain later, Lisa. I'm really tired right now, and the family will be expecting you back at the table soon."

"...a fair point. Very well. Rest well, Lincoln." She said before she turned to head into the bathroom and flush the toilet in order to back up her story. The young man smiled weakly as her walked into his room and flopped onto his bed. He was dead tired, though his mind was still filled with so many questions: How was it he ended up going to the afterlife instead of Royal Woods? Why would the police say Scuzzo was always in custody? What was up with Inspector Tooslow? And whatever happened to the pack of Heck's Grannies chasing Beetlejuice earlier?

* * *

Back in the Neitherworld, or more accurately, a realm even deeper below the Neitherworld. A land of literal sunshine, lollipops and rainbows; the cute and cuddly counter to the afterlife. In short, a place Beetlejuice wouldn't be caught dead in. However, there he was, flying like his pants were on fire, the motorhead biddies still on his tail. His destination was right up ahead; a prison center that looked like Barbie's county lock up than a jail. In the main office of this prison was an adorable little girl (or so it seemed) that had golden curls, a cute blue dress, a blue witches hat, and a giant sized lollipop leaning against her desk beside her. The only thing that didn't match with her was the pair of mirrored sunglasses. She was working on some paperwork, she heard a knock at the door. "Come in." She replied, not looking up. A second knock followed. "Enter." She said again, looking up, a touch irritated. A third knock. "I said come in!" She shouted. Knock number four. She grabbed her lollipop and stormed to the door. "This better be-" She snapped as she kicked the door open, only to find about a dozen biker grannies searching around the prison block. When she kicked the door open, she had gotten the attention of all of them. "-good?" She finished in a confused tone. In the blink of an eye, all the bikers were swarmed around her, looking all starry eyed.

"Awwwwwww! Look at you!" One of them cooed.

"She's so cute!" Another nearly squeed, pinching one of her cheeks.

"Don't do that!" She snapped, taking a swing at the offending limb, only to get her other cheek pinched.

"Just like a little baby doll."

"I could just eat her up!"

"Do you know who I am!?" The little girl shouted, trying to get the old ladies away from her. "I'm Little Miss Warden! I run this place! Don't touch me! Get off!" She barked as she fought and struggled against the silver haired punks doting over her, ignoring her screeches. "BIIIIILLLLLLLLLLY!" She finally screamed, so loud that Beetlejuice could hear all the way from outside. The incorrigible joker burst out laughing as he flew off, headed back toward the Neitherworld to rejoin with himself, having a story he knew he was going to love.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

It was a few days since Lincoln's trip to Peaceful Pines and the Neitherworld, and Lynn Sr was getting ready to enjoy a rare day off. He had already gotten showered, dressed and was starting to put his shoes on. However, when he put on his left shoe, he felt something squishy and wriggly. "Ah!" He gasped, pulling his foot out and noticing it was covered in dirt. Looking into the shoe, he found it full of worms. He sighed, feeling kinda exasperating. He had been noticing little pranks for some time now, and he had a feeling he knew where this came from. "Luan…"

"Yes, Dad?" The family joker asked, leaning her head in with a grin.

"Fun's fun, but worms in my shoe…?" He asked, pointing the shoe at her so she could look inside.

"Whoa, Dad...as much as it sounds like I'm trying to wiggle out of this, it wasn't me." Luan said, her smile fading. Her father blinked. If she had pulled the prank, she wouldn't have denied it. She would have proudly admitted it, even if she would possibly get in trouble for it. If she said she didn't do it, then he had no reason not to believe her.

"Lana!" He called, the cap wearing twin appearing in front of the door. "Did you do this?"

"What? Dad, if I had that many worms, I'd be sharing them with Walt, not sticking them in shoes." Lana replied. While sickened, he had to agree that she had a point.

"But if it wasn't you or Luan….?" He pondered aloud, looking back inside the footwear. "...then who did put worms in my shoe?" He narrowed his eyes as he looked deeper inside and noticed a small strand of white hair. "...Lincoln?"

"Lincoln?" Lana asked, moving closer.

"Didn't think he had it in him." Luan commented. Their father pulled the strand out, looking at it intently with an expression of trying to figure something out. This wasn't like Lincoln at all.

'Then again...there has been a lot going on.' He thought to himself. 'Being late for dinner, going who knows where, that call we got from his counselor…" It was then he thought the pieces came together. 'Perhaps that's it...his counselor did mention he may have hit puberty already...maybe he's acting out as a result. In which case, I think I should have a talk with him when he gets home from school.' He concluded, dumping the mound of mud into Lana's hand.

"Walt! Snack time!" The animal lover shouted excitedly, running off. He spent most of the day pondering what he was going to say to his son, while trying to relax. After school let out, the kids came home and he gave his son a moment to get settled, he walked over to Lincoln's room. He knocked on the door, taking note of how it sounded like his son was talking to someone, and a soft popping noise. A moment later, Lincoln opened the door.

"Hey Dad. What's up?" Lincoln asked. Lynn Sr blinked when he saw Lincoln's room. It was a mess; clothes and papers all over the place.

"Er...could I have a word with you, son?" His father requested, looking concerned.

"Sure." A slightly confused Lincoln said, stepping aside to let his father in. "What's on your mind?" Lynn Sr sat down on his mattress, motioning Lincoln to close the door.

"Lincoln…" He started, but paused, having trouble finding the right words. "...I've noticed some changes in the way you've been acting lately…"

"What do you mean?" The further confused boy inquired.

"Well, for starters, your room." He said, looking around at the mess. "You usually keep it neater than this."

"True…" Lincoln commented, looking kind of sour at it. In reality, Beetlejuice had caused the mess as part of a prank. He was the person Lincoln had been talking to before his father came in, forcing the ghost back into his head.

"And then there was what happened about a few days ago...when you went off for hours and came home late for dinner, albeit only a little…"

"Sorry about that, Dad. I had promised to help Lydia with some errands she was running for her folks, and it ran longer than we expected." Lincoln explained.

"I know...your sisters explained that to me...just...I haven't met this Lydia girl yet and...I just worry, you know…" Lincoln nodded lightly.

"I know Dad. If it helps, Lydia will probably video call later. If you'd like to meet her…" He offered his father, which brought a little smile to his father's face.

"I would. But going back to subject at hand...there's also the call we got from your school…" Lincoln's eyes widen. He had a feeling he knew what this was all about.

"School counselor?" The boy asked bluntly. Lynn Sr nodded. "...Dad, I know what they said, but I promise you...that's not the case."

"Lincoln, don't worry. It's really nothing to be ashamed of. It's a natural part of-"

"Dad." Lincoln calmly interrupted him. "It's not puberty." The Loud father crossed his arms in front of him, frowning at Lincoln.

"Then how would you explain your changing behavior? Now you're even interrupting me, and then there's the worms in my shoes this morning."

"What does that have to do with me?" Lincoln asked, still thoroughly bemused.

"Lincoln, there was a white hair in my shoe along with the worms." He said sternly.

"A what?" The one son blinked, but then thought about it. "...dang it Beetlejuice."

"What?" Lynn Sr inquired, his eyebrow so high it always reached his hair. His only son sighed. He had, honestly, hoped he could have avoided telling his father about his unwelcome guest and that he would have gotten rid of the ghost before needing to tell him.

"It wasn't me. It was a ghost who possesses me, Beetlejuice." He replied with all seriousness. The Loud patriarch just looked at the boy with a 'wth' expression. "I know it sounds crazy, Dad…"

"Lincoln, I thought you had gotten over the imaginary friend stage…" He finally said with a sigh and a shake of his head.

"...as much as I wish he was, he isn't imaginary, Dad."

"Alright then. Prove it." Lynn Sr said flatly, his patience clearly wearing thin.

"That's...not a good idea.." Lincoln said nervously, shaking his head.

"Lincoln, if this 'Beetlejuice' pulled this prank, then he is the one I need to talk to…"

"But.."

"No Buts. Prove it."

"Sigh...I tried to warn you." Lincoln replied with a shrug, which was not the reaction Lynn Sr expected. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" Lynn Sr's eyes widened as Lincoln started to glow and from his head emerged the pungent ghost with the most himself. He floats in mid air, grinning at Lincoln's father.

"Hey pops! What's cooking?" BJ asked. The aspiring chef just looked at him for a moment before he screamed loudly and passed out.

* * *

Meanwhile, downstairs, most of the sisters were chilling in the living room, mostly watching TV. When they all heard their father scream, Lori glanced up and sighed. "Dad just met Beetlejuice…"

* * *

Some time later, Lynn Sr groaned as he started to come to. As he opened his eyes, he awoke to the sight of all of his children standing over him. "Daddy? Are you ok?" Lola asked with concern.

"I had the worst nightmare…" He replied, slowly looking around. "...I saw this most hideous, disgusting creature…"

"Thanks, Pops! I try." Came the voice of Beetlejuice from behind the kids. The father sat up a little and saw the ghost waving to him from behind his children.

"AGH!" He screamed, fainting again.

"Let's not go down this road again…" Lisa groaned, waving a bottle of smelling salts under his nose. Lynn Sr coughed a bit as he woke back up. "Father, I regret to inform you that it was not a dream. Beetlejuice is, unfortunately, as real as you and I." The girls and Lincoln step aside to let him see the ghost again.

"H...h...how...what….why?" He stammered fearfully.

"I summoned him here Dad…" Lucy piped up, in a more morose tone than usual.

"Hey! Credit where credit is due, kid! I gave you the words to summon me!" BJ objected.

"Shut it." Lori snapped firmly before looking to her father. "Anyway, when Lucy tried to get rid of him, Lincoln...kinda got in the way."

"And from there, the specter found himself bound to our elder brother's body. And it is there he will, unfortunately, remain until we can find a way to sever the bond." Lisa continued, patting her father's hand. "Rest assured that I am trying my hardest to find a method of separation that does not involve death."

"...so...it really was Beetlejuice who pranked me?"

"Yes." Lincoln replied, glaring at the carefree phantom. "Or rather, who has been pranking you...and was kind of responsible for my getting home late...and that phone call." All of Lincoln's sisters looked at him in curiosity. "Don't ask."

"...and why didn't anyone…?"

"Truth be told, we were hoping we could have sent BJ home before we had to." Luna admitted. "We know how you are with spooky stuff, and this guy just oozes spooky...among other things."

"You're too kind." Beetlejuice said with a bow.

"Ok...I'll give you that…" Lynn Sr replied, shaking a little.

"But you don't always need to worry about Beetlejuice." Lincoln told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Yeah, he's a pain in the neck, but he can't use any of his powers if he's in here." He continued, tapping his own head. "Speaking of...Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."

"Oh come!" The ghost complained before he faded into Lincoln.

"I put you away the first time for a reason! You ruined my room!"

"I was chasing crickets!"

"oh...my bad." Lana admitted with a nervous chuckle. "I guess Hops and Izzy's lunch escaped.

"Should...we be keeping Beetlejuice's presence here secret?" Lynn Sr asked, thinking perhaps he could call an exorcist of his own.

"...it would be easier...but my friends and Luna's friends know about him now...and with as loud and obnoxious as he is, I doubt we could keep him secret from everyone...I would say use your own discretion, Dad." The Loud father nodded slowly.

"Are you feeling ok, Daddy?" Leni asked, putting a hand to his forehead.

"Yeah...I'm ok now, Leni...this is gonna be one heck of an adjustment...but I think I can handle it…" He replied as he calmed down some more. "And Lincoln...I owe you an apology…"

"Don't worry about it." His son replied with a bit of a smile. "I know I should have told you about BJ sooner…"

"Yeah, but I understand why you didn't…" He told Lincoln, smiling a bit back. "It's ok. I'll be fine, son." He added as he climbed off Lincoln's small bed. Seeing their father was alright, the children start to disperse, heading back to what they were doing earlier.

"I know what you're thinking, Father…" Lucy whispered as soon as they were out of Lincoln's room and he had shut the door.

"Pardon?" Lynn Sr asked, looking down at the little goth girl, quite startled.

"Trying to get Beetlejuice exorcised from Lincoln would not end well for Lincoln. Trust me. I considered that option." She replied in a monotone. "Trust in Lisa. She'll find something soon." He blinked at her, then sighed. She had read him like a book.

"I'm sure she will...but I don't want to sit around and do nothing while that horrible ghost is possessing Lincoln…"

"I feel your pain." Lucy said in sympathy, looking up at him. "We all do. But there is nothing we can do except help Lincoln try and keep Beetlejuice in check." This wasn't what he wanted to hear, but he knew that Lucy knew more about the situation than him, and more about supernatural stuff than he would ever know, so he simply nodded before heading off to do some thinking.

* * *

Over the next few days, things seemed to be going somewhat normally. Lincoln and Lydia were unable to speak that night, since her parents had surprised her with a night out at a restaurant and movie. However, on Friday afternoon, she sent a video chat request to the one son (which he naturally accepted without hesitation). They were making plans for her to visit the Loud House so Lincoln could show her Royal Woods when Lynn Sr called from down the hall, from the top of the stairs. "Lincoln! Have you seen my phone?"

"I think you last had it in the dining room." Lincoln replied. "Oh! Do you have a moment, Dad?"

"I have a little time before I have to leave for work. What's up, son?" The Loud father asked, walking over to the door to Lincoln's room, his car keys in hand. The white haired boy smiled and turned the laptop a bit so he could see the screen. On the screen was Lydia, who was looking right at his father.

"Lydia, allow me to introduce you to my father." The raven haired girl smiled and waved to Lynn Sr.

"Hello, Mr Loud. Lincoln told me you wanted to meet me sometime." He smiled lightly in return, setting his keys down on the desk and leaning over to meet her eyes.

"Hello Lydia. Lincoln and the rest of the family have told me quite a bit about you."

"And Lincoln's told me about you too. Especially how good a cook you were."

"Heheh. Well, I play a mean cowbell too." He said with a soft chuckle. "And I hear your pretty talented with a camera." Lydia nodded, starting to type on her computer. On the text chat window, she uploaded a few of the pictures she had taken recently: lightning bugs at night, a mossy stone gargoyle topping a crypt, the full moon with an owl silhouetted against it, and one of her friends standing outside the woods, looking like they were getting ready to explore it. "Wow. Those are really good."

"Thanks, Mr Loud." The young lady said.

"I can't say I'm much for the scarier images though…"

"Sorry, but I really like things like that: The morbid, the supernatural, the macabre…"

"You know, Lucy did mention that...but I guess I just didn't get that vibe from you. You don't seem as...gloomy."

"You should have seen me before I met Beetlejuice." Lydia replied, giggling a little.

"So...you know Beetlejuice too?" Lynn Sr asked cautiously.

"Yeah. He's one of my best friends." She answered, getting an odd look from Lincoln's father. "Yes, it's true. We've been friends for a long time, his pain in the neck, selfish and even cruel moments and all."

"You must have the patience of a saint…."

"I wouldn't say that. Dealing with BJ is kind of like dealing with an overgrown toddler sometimes." There was a soft ahem from behind Lynn Sr and Lincoln. They all looked back to see Lily in the doorway looking pretty offended. "Oh...sorry, Lily." The infant huffed and waddled off. Just then, Lydia turned her head as she heard her mother's voice. "Oh. Sounds like my mother needs some help. I better head off. I'll talk to you later, Lincoln. Nice meeting you, Mr Loud."

"Likewise, Lydia. Have a nice day." The Loud father replied before he left the room himself.

"See you later, Lydia." Lincoln said, sending a little heart emoji to her, which she returned before they both logged out.

With the call ended, Lynn Sr hurried down to the dining room to get his phone. Meanwhile, Lincoln had gotten up with the intention of paying Clyde a visit when his foot stepped something just under his bed. He looked down, noticing the radio he had been given by Inspector Tooslow. "I forgot about this.." He said quietly. "Eh...I'll ask Lisa or Lana to take it apart later." He decided as he tossed it on his bed before departing his room and heading downstairs. As Lincoln was leaving, his father had found his phone.

"There we go. Now I can just take Vanzilla and…" He reached into his pocket and realized he didn't have his keys. "Ah, dang it...I left them in Lincoln's room." He sighed as he ascended the stairs and hurried into his son's room, his keys right beside Lincoln's computer. "There they are." He quickly scooped up his keys and, was about to make a hasty departure when he heard something.

"Loud? Loud? Do you read me?" The Loud father paused mid turn, wondering where that unknown voice was coming from. "Come in, Loud. Were you trying to contact me?" His eyes fell upon the little radio on the white haired boy's bed. With a trembling hand, he picked the receiver up and examined it closer. "Loud, respond."

"Hello?" He responded, a quaver in his voice.

"You aren't Lincoln!"

"No, I'm not…I'm Lynn Loud Sr...who are you and why are you trying to talk to my son?" He asked, trying to sound authoritative and intimidating...and failing miserably.

"Inspector Tooslow, Neitherworld PD." The voice responded.

"Neitherworld?"

"Yeah. The afterlife. The hereafter. The eternal reward. You get the idea. Anyway, I had requested the aid of your son in locating and apprehending a fugitive who had escaped to the land of the living."

"A fugitive!? Oh dear...who is this criminal?" The skittish father inquired, trembling more.

"His name is Beetlejuice." Lynn Sr felt his blood turn cold when he heard that. Little did he know the news was about to get worse. "He stands accused of numerous crimes in the Neitherworld, including disturbing the peace, destruction of property, assault, resisting arrest, to name a few. In addition, he's committed even more crimes in the living world, including but not limited to murder."

"M...m...murder!?" The Loud patriarch felt as fearful as he would on a normal Halloween. His little boy is stuck with a murderous ghost!? This was the worst possible thing.

"Mr Loud? What's wrong?" Inspector TooSlow inquired, trying to speak in a calm tone.

"My….my son….is bound….to a murderer…?" He finally squeaked out.

"Bound? That would explain why he attempted to contact me earlier, but couldn't...brave kid, he is…"

"P...P...Please tell me there's something we can do…" Lynn Sr begged, about one step away from breaking down with tears.

"With your cooperation, of course, Mr Loud." The slug detective answered. "First off, calm yourself. Your son will be alright." He continued, trying to put the tense man at ease. "I doubt Beetlejuice would dare get rid of his cover in the living world. He's insane, but he's not stupid." Lynn Sr took a couple seconds to take a few deep breaths and regain himself. "Good man. Now, if you're willing, we can set a trap for the fugitive."

"Just tell me what I need to do."

"Bring your son, with the fugitive, someplace remote. Someplace where we can hide in wait. Put them at ease. Lull them into a sense of security. Then, when he puts his guard down, we'll strike, and drag him back to the Neitherworld kicking and screaming." TooSlow explained, while the Loud father listened and nodded at each point.

"...I think I have an idea...can you and your police get to the Royal Woods National Park?" Lynn Sr asked. "I can bring them there for a picnic on Sunday, and you can take Beetlejuice away from there."

"That should work nicely, Mr Loud. Thank you for your cooperation."

"Of course, Inspector."

"From this point on, maintain radio silence. We can't risk Beetlejuice learning of our trap. See you sunday. Inspector TooSlow out." The radio then went silent. Lynn Sr simply dropped the walkie talkie onto the bed before he left Lincoln's room. He was going to be late for work for this, but he didn't care. This was more important in his mind. The safety of his family took priority, and none of them would be safe until this killer ghost was sent away.

* * *

Two days later, on a overcast, but otherwise pleasant afternoon, Vanzilla was riding along the highway, being driven by Lynn Sr with a calm smile on his face. Right beside him was a slightly confused Lincoln, and a large picnic basket behind them. "Nothing quite like the open road, eh son?"

"I...guess so, Dad." Lincoln replied.

"I can vouch for that, Pops." BJ said through Lincoln's mouth. "The wind in your face, the bugs that fly into your mouth…."

"Er….sure. Let's go with that." The cow bell enthusiast said, his stomach turning a little as the van drove through the gateway into the national park. Once he parked Vanzilla and started to lead his son to the camp ground while carrying the basket, Lincoln asked the question that was plaguing his mind.

"Why'd we come all the way out here for a picnic, Dad? And without the rest of the family too." Lynn Sr felt a twinge on the inside when his son said that.

"Well, it's such a lovely day…" He started with a nervous smile, the two of them glancing up at the gloomy, gray sky. "...and it's been a long time since we've had some proper father-son time." He added in an attempt to fix the damage he may have caused.

"Then shouldn't I have left Beetlejuice at home?"

"Hey! I love a picnic as much as the next ghost." BJ interjected. Lynn Sr tensed up a bit as he set the basket down on the wooden table in the picnic area. After a moment of rapid thought, he sighed.

"I'm going to be honest with you, Lincoln…" He said, sitting down on the bench facing the forest, gesturing for his son to have a seat opposite him. "...Part of the reason I planned this...was because I wanted a chance to start over with Beetlejuice." He elaborated as Lincoln sat down with his back to the trees. "I mean, we both clearly got off on the wrong foot…"

"Specifically the one that got stuck in the worms." The goofing ghost butted in with a snicker.

"Hehe...yeah. But I know you're here to stay until we can fix this, and I want to at least make an effort to make peace with you." From behind a tree behind Lincoln, he saw the gastropod man lean from behind the tree to give the Loud father the thumbs up for that.

"Oh. Well, why didn't you say so sooner, Dad?" The white haired lad asked, a smile appearing on his face. "I would have brought Beetlejuice out sooner."

"What? While I was driving?"

"...ok, maybe not then." Lincoln amended, the two of them laughing a bit at that. At that point, a swarm of human sized roaches carrying large flyswatters on their back and wearing police kevlar vests with the word SWAT on their chests crept from behind the trees, headed for Lincoln. Lynn Sr glanced over at them and covertly shook his head. "But I could bring him out now if you want."

"I think that would be a good idea." When the father said that, the cluster of roaches suddenly sprang into action, rushing over and grabbing Lincoln by the arms.

"Huh!? What!?" Lincoln shouted as they suddenly latched something looking suspiciously like a shock collar on his neck.

"Hey! Get off of him!" Lynn Sr shouted angrily, rising to his feet.

"Good job, Mr Loud." Inspector TooSlow said, oozing his way out from his hiding place.

"Inspector TooSlow!?" The one son gasped, before he looked to his father. "Dad, what's going on!?"

"Your father was assisting us in doing what you FAILED to do: apprehending Beetlejuice." The slug detective replied derisively, facing Lincoln.

"You double crosser!" BJ screamed through Lincoln, beside himself with rage.

"You said you wanted Beetlejuice! You never said anything about my son!" The Loud Patriarch yelled, his own anger building rapidly.

"This is the safest way to do it, Mr Loud. With Beetlejuice stuck in the kid, he's helpless. This way, we can bring him in."

"What!? You knew!?" The white haired boy demanded to know.

"Of course I knew. City Hall let us know about your binding the moment Miss Deetz told them." The invertebrate private eye explained. "And I knew you could have brought him right to us. And now Beetlejuice will finally answer for his crimes...and if you're lucky, you'll only get a light sentence yourself."

"WHAT!?" Lincoln and Lynn Sr both screamed together, and even the SWAT team looked astonished about that.

"Harboring a criminal is against the law, Lincoln, and you are harboring a very dangerous criminal."

"Let me at em, kid! I'll dunk him in the salt flats for this!" Beetlejuice said.

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" Lincoln cried out, but the moment he did, the collar lit up and nothing happened. "Huh?"

"You can't release the fugitive with that collar on, Lincoln. Now, I suggest you go quietly, before I add resisting arrest to your-"

"GET AWAY FROM MY SON!" Lynn Sr bellowed, hurling the picnic basket at Inspector TooSlow. The slug man was hit right in the face, getting buried in sandwiches, drinks and a pickle jar. The roaches that weren't holding Lincoln converged on his father, drawing their fly swatters. The angry chef jumped onto the table and leaped over the heads of the roaches, grabbing one of the swatters on his way down. He rushed toward his son, but ended up getting sacked by the giant sized insects, who follow up by pummeling him with their swatters.

"Dad!" Lincoln shouted. "Beetlejuice, we need to do something!"

'Ok, first of all, why would I help that traitor? He sold us out!' BJ said in outrage in his head.

'We can deal with that later. Besides, if we don't do SOMETHING, we're headed for Neitherworld jail...unless they throw you right to the sandworms.' Lincoln mentally replied with a frown.

'...well, what can I do? I can't get out with that thing on your neck!' The white haired lad thought quickly as his father was getting swatted and the buggy cops holding him were starting to drag young man away.

'Wait! There is something you can do.' Lincoln suddenly thought. 'Remember what you did back in school? What Lydia said? You can share some of your power with me, then I can do something.'

'Hey...I forgot about that. But do you think you can handle it?' BJ wondered out loud.

'Do we have a choice?'

'Point taken. Alright, kid. I'll give ya about...twenty percent of my power. That should do it.'

'Whatever. Just hurry.' He thought as his bruised father was picked up and held before the angry Inspector TooSlow.

"Mr Loud, we may be grateful for you bringing the fugitive to us, our gratitude only stretches so far. Now, we're going to have to teach you a lesson…"

"You aren't going to do anything to him!" Lincoln yelled, a cold wind starting to blow through the woods. Inspector TooSlow glared over at Lincoln, but his anger turned to shock as he say the wind swirling around the boy. The force of the gale knocked the two cucarachas holding him into the nearby trees before lifting the boy off the ground.

"W...what is he doing?" Lynn Sr groaned, looking up at his son.

"I was hoping you could tell me." The law enforcing mollusk replied. Lines of shadows stretched up from the ground and slithered along Lincoln's legs before arranging themselves in stripes on his orange shirt and his jeans. The wind started to mess up his hair, which turned a vague yellowish green color, and his buck tooth turned green. He grinned as one of his eyes turned yellow with red pupils.

"It's showtime!" Lincoln declared, his voice a kind of fusion between himself and BJ. His father and the slug man just stood there, mouth agape. The SWAT team stormed at Lincoln, swatters at the ready. The one son raised his hand, which grew to giant sized. The group of giant bugs skidded to a stop, most of them hitting the dirt. The only one that didn't ended up getting smacked right into a solid oak. "Hmmmm. There's an obvious joke there, butt…" He smirked,his posterior growing to massive size as he dove at the man sized roaches. All but two of them managed to scamper away, getting crushed under him. "...it's beneath me." The Neitherworld police bugs were trying to regroup when he turned his attention back to them. "And now, I think it's time for a raid!"

"RAID!?" The king sized cucarachas screamed in horror. Before they could even move, Lincoln's outfit changed into something more befitting a barbarian; an orange hide tunic similar to a caveman's and furred boots, carrying a giant sized club. Rising from the ground around him were: a hooded wizard wielding an oak staff, a cloaked rogue dressed all in black, a female elf wearing a robin hood like outfit, complete with a longbow, and a gnome-like woman wearing acolytes robes. Not liking these odds, the SWAT team decided it was time to go. However, before they could get too far…

"Let's see some CC before those adds get away!" Lincoln instructed, the ghostly caster beside him nodding. A sphere of ice was hurled from his hand into the center of the fleeing insectoids, shattering upon contact with the ground and freezing their feet to the ground. The bug men panicked as they tried to pull free. "What's the matter? Got cold feet?" Lincoln quipped, the elf nocking an arrow into her bow. She aimed upward and launched the projectile into the air. As it arced upward, the arrow split into an entire volley before falling toward the trapped SWAT roaches. Before the arrows struck, each and every one turned into large, heavy boxing gloves, pummeling the helpless pests. Once the rain of blows had ended, Lincoln himself leaped into action (literally), hurling himself at the tenderized insectoids and slamming the ground in front of them. The shockwave smashed the ice and knocked the dazed and beaten bugs skyward. The only son grinned as he gripped his club and, once the SWAT team was low enough, swung his oversized beating stick, sending the remaining roach cops flying.

Far ahead of the airborne insects, a large, box shaped building with a sign saying 'MOTEL' rose up from the ground, with an ornate set of double doors bursting opening upon appearing. Lincoln, dressed as a motel manager, stepped out with a smile and shifted to one side as he saw his incoming 'guests'. "Your rooms are ready, sirs." He said politely, gesturing inside the building as the SWAT team flew right inside and landed with sticky 'SPLAT'. The white haired boy smirked as he closed the door on them, then snapped his fingers to make the motel disappear, back to the Neitherworld.

Back with the real Lincoln, his phantasmal group, Lynn Sr and Inspector TooSlow, the slug man was getting approached by Lincoln and three of his new allies, looking very worried. "Now, hold on Loud...let's not get hasty…"

"You lied to me, lied to my father (I assume), threatened to have me arrested and convicted when I did literally nothing, hurt my father and threatened worse to him just for trying to protect me." The boy growled, both hands gripping his club so hard, his knuckles turned white. Desperate, the Neitherworld detective grabbed Lynn Sr, holding him between himself and Lincoln.

"Back off, Loud!" He demanded, using the injured father as a shield.

"Don't do this, Inspector...you're only making it worse for yourself…"

"I could say the same for you, kid...now surrender yourself and the fugitive, or I'll be taking your father to the Neitherworld, where he'll be tried for assaulting an officer…" The Loud patriarch started to sweat as TooSlow had him by the neck, nervously looking at him son. Oddly, he was smirking, with a mouth full of green teeth. "Come on, Lincoln. Do the right-" Before he could finish that thought, a sharp blow came to the back of the slimy inspector's head, disorienting him and causing him to drop Lynn Sr. While he was focused on Lincoln, the spectral rogue had slunk around behind him and took the opportunity to smack him with a sap. After, he grabbed Lincoln's father and pulled him away, the gnomish cleric running over to the two of them.

Just as the inspector regained his senses, he looked up to see a very angry Lincoln glaring eye to eye with him, tapping his club into one of his hands. The slug man trembled in fear, smiling nervously at the ghost empowered boy. Lincoln, in returned, smiled in return; only much more sinister and possibly even insane. "O...Ok...perhaps that was a little harsh…" He stammered fearfully. "...but we can still discuss this like adults, right…"

"I would...but I'm just a kid. I'd rather discuss it like a kid." The barbarian boy replied, tossing the club aside. This made Inspector TooSlow relax a little, but only a little.

"Er….ok...how do we do that?"

"Over a game." Lincoln answered simply, pulling a tin can from behind his back. "Kick the can?"

"Uh...sure. Why not?" The slug man quickly regretted those words, as the possessed young man grabbed him by the neck and processed to shove the deceiving detective into a can about a tenth of his size. Meanwhile, the cleric was kneeling by the once bruised Lynn Sr, treating his injuries while being covered by the rogue, wizard and archer.

"Feeling better, sire?" The gnome woman asked as the last of his bruises were healed away.

"Yeah...thanks." He replied as the rogue and archer helped him up. The Loud father was still lost as to what he had just witnessed, but he was pleased none the less to see his son was going to be alright, if excessively burly. Speaking of, Lincoln was headed right for him, still holding the can of TooSlow, crunching and molding the can into a football shape.

"Would you mind setting me up for the kick, Dad?" He asked, handing his father the small metal football. Lynn Sr gulped, but nodded shakily. He took the can and knelt down as Lincoln backed up, holding the can down like they were preparing to make a field goal. The one son grabbed his tunic and tore it off, suddenly decked out in a football player's uniform. He got into a three point position, then charged forward, his father closing his eyes in fear, expecting his hand to get kicked along with the tiny football. His fears were unfounded, because instead of kicking the can, Lincoln skidded to a stop in front of his father, The cowbell player slowly opened his eyes to see the young man lean over, hold out his hand and flick the can with his forefinger. The simple flick sent the football shaped can soaring through the air, right for a tree. The elm creaked and groaned as it split in half at the top and reshaped itself to look like a goal post; a goal post the can easily soared over and between.

"And it's good!" Lincoln cheered, holding his hands up in celebration, with even his father laughing a little at what he had just witnessed. The can kept flying upwards and onwards, until, like Scuzzo, it simply vanished. The one son dusted his hands off, then looked to the ghostly allies who had aided him. "Thanks for the help. See you next session." The four spirits nodded as they faded from existence, and Lincoln unzipped his uniform and climbed out of it, back in his normal clothes, with a certain Beetlejuice influence to them.

"Gotta hand it ta ya, Mr President. That was some nice work." Bj complimented through his possessee.

"Thanks, but I couldn't have done it without you coaching me while I fought. I'm kinda surprised I pulled that off. I thought you only gave me a little of your power."

"I did. Guess I don't know my own strength." The ghost laughed lightly.

"I guess. Well, before I give up the power…" Lincoln took hold of his head and popped it right off his shoulders. With a few quick shakes, the collar fell off his neck and onto the ground, where the middle Loud crushed it to pieces. "Much better." He said, putting his head back on. Right before the eyes of his father, Lincoln slowly returned to normal.

"...Lincoln, I'm sorry that-" Lynn Sr started to say.

"Why did you do it, Dad?" Lincoln asked, not even looking at him.

"...the inspector told me that Beetlejuice was dangerous...that he had killed people…" His father explained, his expression becoming ever sadder. "I was scared, not just for myself, but for you and our family. I mean, a possible killer, in our own home!?"

"Pfft. More like you were just a chicken sh-" Beetlejuice started to say with pure venom.

"Shut up, Beetlejuice." Lincoln snapped angrily. "...Inspector TooSlow fed the same story to me, Dad...so I know how you felt. And let's face facts, BJ...you are FAR from trustworthy." Beetlejuice simply huffed at that.

"...what made you decide against helping him?"

"Two things." The white haired boy turned to face his father. "First, I spoke to Lydia. She knows Beetlejuice far better than we do, and I trust her. She told me that he wasn't a killer."

"And the second…?"

"...inconsistencies that make me wary of trusting the Neitherworld law enforcement." He answered, getting an odd look from his father. "...that day I was late getting home for dinner? It was because I somehow ended up in the Neitherworld. And no, it wasn't Beetlejuice who sent me." He said quickly when he saw his father open his mouth. "At the moment, we have no idea why that happened. But while I was there, I learned that the Neitherworld police had denied the fact that a ghost named Scuzzo has crossed over to the living world. That he had been and still is in their custody."

"How do you know he wasn't?" Lynn Sr inquired. "And who is Scuzzo?"

"Scuzzo is a clown with delusions of grandeur...or is just delusional. Either works." BJ butted in. "Claims himself to be the funniest in the Neitherworld. Ha! He doesn't even rank in the top ten with me around."

"And I know this because Scuzzo attacked Beetlejuice, my friends and I during the spring festival." Lincoln continued, getting a gasp from his father. "Don't worry, Dad. No one was hurt...except maybe that clown…"

"Is that why the police started warning about strange clowns in the area?"

"Pretty much. So it got me to wondering...why would they make that kind of claim? Especially if they claim to know as much as they do about what goes on between the living and dead world as they seem to. And the fact ghosts cannot easily cross between the afterlife and real life. It just doesn't make any sense to me. And if it doesn't make sense, it's probably not true."

"...I'm really sorry, Lincoln…." His culinarily inclined father said, falling to his knees. "...sorry that you had to go through that because of me…" Lynn Sr was about to dissolve into tears when he felt his son hug him.

"It's ok, Dad. Really." Lincoln said sincerely. "You made a mistake, yes, but it was mistake made with all our safety and well being in mind."

"But...it was a mistake that almost got you hurt and sent to an afterlife prison…" Lynn Sr sobbed as he broke down into tears as he hugged his son back. Lincoln gently pat him on the back as the two embraced.

"Don't cry, Dad. Everything is ok now, thanks to Beetlejuice."

"At least someone here appreciates my talents." BJ commented though Lincoln's mouth.

"...you're right, Beetlejuice...I owe you an apology...and my thanks." Lynn Sr said, moving Lincoln so he could look him in the eyes. "I'm very sorry, Beetlejuice, for being such a fool...and thank you for your help in saving us both…"

"Hmph. I don't think I'm so ready to accept an apology." BJ replied coldly. If he could, he would have turned Lincoln's head away from the Loud father. "After all, this is my afterlife you were messing with."

"Come on, BJ...he said he was sorry." Lincoln said in his father's defense.

"Well, that's all nice, and lovely for you, Lincoln. He was only concerned about YOUR safety. Me, on the other hand, he was thinking how good I'd look in stripes!" Just then, Lincoln's usual outfit turned into BJ's usual suit. "Then again, I do rock the stripes."

"He's right, son…"

"Well, yeah. Not everyone call pull off stripes."

"I mean that I would have been very surprised if you really forgave me right off the bat, Beetlejuice." Lynn Sr corrected him. "I mean, I did almost figuratively throw you to the wolves...but I promise to make it up to you."

"I don't think you can…" Beetlejuice said, with a slightly snobbish tone to his voice.

"Not even with a little beetle-jambalaya?" Lincoln offered with a bit of a smirk.

"...with hot stinkbug sauce?" The ghost asked, sounding interested.

"Would...you settle for fire ant hot sauce?" Lynn Sr asked nervously.

"You can do that!?" Beetlejuice asked excitedly, but then he caught himself and returned to his stubborn tone. "...it would be a start…." He finally said.

"Alrighty then...but first, let's go home." The middle Loud child said, helping his father up and leading him back toward the car.

* * *

Meanwhile, in a Neitherworld courthouse, there was a very tense silence among the tribunal of judges. The chief justice was rubbing the side of his head, taking deep breaths. The Hanging Judge was looking very nervous as the other judges were glaring at her. In front of them is a swirling, misty orb, which contained an image of Lincoln and his father in the living realm.

"Please tell me you weren't seriously planning on trying the child…" The plant creature asked, looking positively outraged.

"That...that was more Inspector TooSlow's assumption...though he does have a-" The banshee started to say.

"When the good inspector returns...I expect him to be reprimanded." The chief justice said in a low, dangerous tone, shutting her up in an instant.

"Y...Yes Chief Justice…" The Hanging Judge replied meekly, knowing if she said that she thought TooSlow had a point, it would end poorly for her.

"And let me make ONE more thing perfectly clear." He added, looking at the assembled judges. "Our target is BEETLEJUICE. Just Beetlejuice. Yes, Lincoln Loud is bound to him, but he is not the fugitive. I do NOT want to hear any further incidents regarding Lincoln Loud. You are to leave him, and his family, ALONE." He warned them all calmly.

"Your honor, with all due respect…" The two headed judge spoke up. "The child had assaulted Neitherworld officers…"

"I acknowledge that. However, this would not have happened, if the inspector hadn't made his assumptions, deceived the child and his father, and continued to escalate the situation. I see it as self defense and defense of his father. End of discussion."

"Of course, Chief Justice. In which case, if you would allow me the chance to apprehend the fugitive...I promise that we shall not fail you." The first head said proudly.

"Actually, we can't really make that promise…" The second head interjected. "...Beetlejuice is really clever and powerful."

"Will you shut up…?"

"That will do, Judge Indy Cisive." The yellow ghoul at the head of the table said firmly. "I will give you your opportunity. However, remember what I had said. If I hear you targeted the boy or his family…" He leans closer to the two headed zombie, giving him the evil eye. "...let's just say Beetlejuice's punishment will seem like a vacation in comparison."

"Gulp! Understood, Chief." Both heads said together.

"Good. Dismissed." He declared; one by one each judge vanishing in a puff of smoke, until he was the only one left. Once he was sure he was alone, he drew a tablet like device from his robe. He tapped the screen for a bit, until the image of a pale skinned woman with long, dark hair, a vacant stare, and a flu mask over her face.

"Chief Justice...how may I help you?"

"Good evening, Madam Onna." The master judge replied. "I am in need of some information. The human, Lincoln Loud...what do we have on him?" The woman on the screen looked down, the sound of typing heard through the speakers on the device.

"Lincoln Loud. Male. Age eleven. Middle child of a family of thirteen. Physical attributes below average. Mental attributes average. Generally good kid, with some marks on his record. Recent information from City Hall indicates he has becoming linked to one Beetlejuice. Threat level: very low."

"I would recommend you change the level of threat for this boy to moderate and his mental attributes to above average." He replied grimly, getting a befuddled look from the ghost he was addressing. "I've recently witnessed him utilizing the powers of Beetlejuice himself...this could be most concerning if he were to learn to use his full power. Not only that, but he is becoming suspicious of the Neitherworld law enforcement. He is aware of the Scuzzo cover up and has been deceived by one of our detectives."

"I see and understand your concern…" The pale woman said as she typed in the amendments he mentioned. "...Scuzzo...that was a waste of a transfer of power…"

"I quite agree, Kuchi. That will teach us to give a clown the powers of a judge." The Chief Justice growled. "But while we are on the subject...I want you to begin the request paperwork for another transfer of power. Just to be safe."

"Of course, Chief Justice. Just send your own request form to my office as soon as you can, and I will have the rest ready as soon as possible."

"Thank you, Madam Onna. That will be all for now. Good evening." He said, ending the call and looking grimly down at the defendant's bench. "Your days are numbered, Beetlejuice. You will not evade justice forever."


	10. Chapter 10

_AN: Think I'm going to spend a few chapters expanding upon and (hopefully) developing the relationships between Beetlejuice and the sisters, as well as Lydia with the sisters, and Lincoln's friends, so I can take some time to consider Indy Cisive's move without holding things up. Hope you enjoy the chapter._

* * *

Chapter 10

With the entire family now aware of Beetlejuice's existence, the ghost with the most was able to petition to Lincoln for a little more freedom around the house. Fortunately, after recent events, the only son among sisters was willing to give him a little more slack...provided he can behave. As tempted as BJ was to just start pranking the Louds left and right, he had a good thing going and didn't want to spoil it so quick. However, this meant the ghost was quickly getting bored. To make matters worse, the two sisters he got along with best were out of the house that day. In an attempt to find something to do that wouldn't get him sealed back in Lincoln's head, Beetlejuice floated his way down to the living room, where he found Leni and Lori glued to the tv. "Oh! Hey, Mr Beetlejuice!" Leni chirped, waving to their undead guest. Lori simply glanced over at him, then back to the tv.

"Hey you two….whatcha doing?" BJ asked, lacking his usual energy.

"We're just watching some Mall Wing Wars." Leni explained, pointing at the tv.

"...do I even want to know?"

"It's a new reality show where groups of people start up their own little stores in the mall, and try and succeed in the incredibly competitive field of mall based businesses."

"Uhhhhhhh huh…" The undead prankster said, uncertain he was quite that bored.

"It's an ok show…" Lori commented lazily. "...but it does get interesting when they bust out the sabotage."

"Sabotage, you say?" An intrigued Beetlejuice inquired, leaning over for a look at the screen. At that point, the owner of a mall pet shop had just entered a competing jogging pants store, where they proceeded to sprinkle itching powder into a couple pairs of pants. "Hehehe. Cute. They think they know pranks."

"That's so mean…." Leni said with a frown.

"I don't think so, Leni. I mean, considering 'Jogger's Dreams' released a jar of fleas into 'Furry Friends'..." Lori argued.

"They did that!? Then they were too soft!" Leni snapped, sneering at the screen.

"Whoa there! This is a side of you I haven't seen before." A surprised specter said, along with a smirk. "You should show it more often. But I agree. I personally woulda dropped a whole bag of creepy crawlies into their dressing room. Makes the punishment fit the crime, and maybe get some cute ladies to run around in their undies." BJ said with a snicker. To his surprise, Lori actually giggled a little at that.

"It would serve them right." Leni agreed, the two Loud sisters settling in to keep watching and BJ leaning against the back of the couch to watch.

"So which ones are your favorites? Everyone has favorites with these reality shows."

"I'm backing the 'Furry Friends' pet store." Leni said.

"I'm more a fan of that store owned by that couple...what was it called? Oh yeah. 'Lover's Lane', for all your romantic needs." Lori commented after taking a moment to send out some texts. "I did like that sports sock emporium too, but they were eliminated on day one. The owner had anger issues and ended up hitting a customer."

"Let me guess...it was called.." BJ started to say.

"'Sock it to 'em'." He and Lori said together, before sharing in a little laugh. Through the course of the show, they watched a smoothie store struggle against an actor playing a customer trying to pull a coupon scam on them, a music store trying to forge an alliance with a candy shop, and a perfume kiosk just get ignored by everyone. In the end, however, it was a scented candle store that was ruined, due to someone turning up the heat and melting all the candles.

"Hahahaha! Those characters are ruthless!" Beetlejuice said through his laughter by the end of it.

"If you think that was ruthless, you should have seen last season." Lori interjected with a grin. "There was an organic honey shop owner that was positively brutal. Destroyed his enemies, double crossed his friends...by the end of it, everyone, especially the fans, hated him...but he made it to the finals."

"I gotta get me some real cable in the Neitherworld." Beetlejuice said, just as the front door opened up. Leni, Lori and BJ turned their heads to see Luan enter, oddly quiet when she did so, and not looking at them.

"Hi Luan." Leni called out, causing the family joker to jump in surprise.

"Hey there, fellow prankster." BJ cheerfully greeted her.

"Oh. Hey everyone." Luan replied, somewhat flatly.

"Are you alright, Luan?" Lori asked, her big sister senses blaring like a burglar alarm in her head.

"Never better." She replied, still refusing to face them. "Why do you ask?"

"Luan...you just went two whole sentences without a joke or pun." Leni pointed out, getting kind of worried herself. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"Sniff...yes, I'm fine…" Not in the least bit convinced, Beetlejuice floated around the room for a look at her. His mouth opened in shock when he saw the nasty bruise on her cheek and her tear filled eyes.

"What in the hay!?" He exclaimed, getting buried in a bundle of straw.

"What is it, Beetlejuice?" Lori asked, rising from the couch.

"Looks like some jerk went and smacked my partner here!" Beetlejuice said as he popped out of the hay. "Who did this, Luan? Does BJ need to bust some heads!?" He inquired angrily, a pair of comically large boxing gloves appearing on his hands.

"No! No...it's nothing. Just...just a heckler…" She answered, looking away from him. A frowning Lori strolled right over to her and, gently but firmly, made her look at her.

"...that is not nothing." She said. "Come clean, Luan...what happened?"

"...I was doing a birthday party for this little girl and her friends, when her older sister joined the party...she started to mock me on stage while I tried to entertain the kids…" Luan started to explain, fighting back tears. "I tried to soldier on...but then she got the kids to start throwing stuff at me...her little sister threw a rock…"

"She what!?" Leni, Lori and BJ all shouted in outrage.

"Are you alright? Did you lose any teeth? Any bones broken?" Leni asked frantically, looking over her younger sister's face like their mother no doubt would if she knew about this.

"I'm fine...really...just sore."

"Getting hit by a rock is far from fine." Lori stated, her hands clenched into fists. "Who are these girls?" She demanded to know, but it looked like Luan wasn't about to talk. "You can either tell us, or we can check your schedule and then go hunt them down." The crying clown continued to keep quiet, so Beetlejuice took the initiative and flew up to her room, returning with her monthly planner.

"Let's see...only party she had today was at this house downtown, in the ritzy part of town." He said, handing the planner to Lori.

"...Westans. I think I know that name..." She said quietly.

"Oh! I know!" Leni piped up, raising her hand. "She's that popular girl from our school, who spreads rumors all through the school. She once said I resisted fire one time or something...didn't make a lot of sense to me." Lori's face started to turn red as she heard that.

"Leni...she wasn't saying you-never mind. Come on, Leni...we have a party to attend."

"Hold up, girls! I'm coming with!" Beetlejuice said firmly, floating around beside them.

"No you're not." Lori told him, holding out a hand to stop him. "At least, not looking like that."

"No problem." The phantom prankster starts to spin in the air, before skidding to a stop in his Betty Juice disguise. "How's that?"

"...it'll do." Lori said flatly, taking Leni by the hand and the two of them left the house, followed by Betty Juice.

* * *

The three of them pull up in front of the opulent house, much bigger and well kept compared to their house. Lori steps out of Vanzilla, glaring up at the house. "Alright, everyone. We're here to have a nice chat with Mrs Westans. Try to avoid talking with Terri...she's pure toxic." Lori briefed Leni and Betty. "And Beetlejuice...no juicing."

"Yer no fun…" BJ grumbled, but followed along. The trio ventured across the grass to the front door. They found a sign on the front door saying they were all around back. The eldest of the siblings sighed. She was hoping to avoid having to go back where the party was, but it looked like they had little to no choice. She signaled her sister and their ghostly cohort to follow her around to the back yard. The back gate was opened and they could see what looked like one heck of a party; kids were playing in the large swimming pool, on the bouncy castle, on the pony rides. It was clear the Westans were very rich. They even hired a burly security guard to stand in front of the gate.

"You have an invite?" He asked seriously, glaring at them until he took one look at Betty and quickly looked away in disgust.

"Actually, we're here to see Mrs Westans." Lori explained. "You see, our sister, Luan-"

"Wait...you're her sisters?" He asked, his face softening.

"Well, not me. My good looks come from another gene pool." Betty piped up, grinning and fluttering her eyelashes at him, which nearly made him vomit.

"She's, like, a friend of ours." Leni told him, gesturing to the goofing ghoul. "But anyway, yes. Luan is our sister."

"I see...I'm sorry 'bout what happened...but I don't think talking to Mrs Westans is gonna help…" He told them sympathetically.

"Wait...you know what happened?" Betty asked incredulously. "Then why didn't you do anything!?"

"I just guard the gate. That's all they want me to do and all they pay me to do...or I woulda hauled that brat of theirs outta there myself…" He sighed with regret and pulled out his walkie talkie. "I'll call the mother...but I'm warning you...you're wasting your time."

"We have to try. They can't be allowed to get away with that kind of stuff." Lori replied firmly. It was clear the security guy agreed with them, but still sighed as he held the radio to his mouth.

"Mrs Westans, there are some young ladies here to see you."

"I'm busy." Came a bored, haughty reply from the radio. Betty leaned over for a look inside, zeroing in on a middle aged woman with a Wilma Flintstone haircut, a trendy black and white one piece swimsuit, sun glasses and a big hat on her head. She was lounging about on a sun chair, paying no mind to the only somewhat organized chaos around her. She looked back at Lori and Leni, his nose growing like Pinocchio's.

"I understand that, ma'am, but this is important…"

"Tell them to come back tomorrow." Lacking any further patience for this nonsense, Lori moved the radio over to her.

"Ma'am, one of YOUR daughters threw a ROCK at my sister, while she was performing for the party happening on YOUR property." Lori stated in a voice of forced calm. "You have two options. Either come here to discuss this with us like civilized adults, or we come back with the police and you can discuss it with them." She released the guard's hand, who just stared at her in surprise.

"Nerves of steel, Lore." Betty commented with a grin and a thumbs up.

"Thanks Betty." Lori replied with a confident smile. "Now we just need to wait for-" She started to say when her smile completely shattered from her face. Instead of the mother, there stood a teenage girl as tall as Lori, with short red hair and piercing blue eyes. She was wearing a silver and gold bikini and had the biggest grin on her face.

"Why, if it isn't Lori Loud." She said in mock surprise. "And she brought her trained monkey as well." She added, looking to Leni. The dim witted young lady looked around, wondering where the monkey was.

"Terri…" Lori growled, glaring at the girl before her. It was then she noticed a nervous little girl standing behind the fence. Her hair was red, like her sister, and little green eyes. "I wanted to talk to your mother, not you."

"Well, too bad. Mom doesn't want to talk to you. She's a very busy woman."

"I can tell. All that laying around, not doing anything...she must be exhausted…" Betty Juice said sarcastically.

"No one asked you!" Terri snapped, looking at the dirty haired girl standing by the gate. She winced in disgust and looked back to Lori, choosing not to dignify her existence any further.

"So I guess getting the police is our only option then. Suit yourselves." Lori told her, as both a threat and a promise.

"The police? Whatever for?" She asked in the fakest innocent voice ever, before the little girl emerged from behind the wall, looking sad and scared.

"Please...don't call the police...I'm sorry I threw the-" She started to say, before Terri slapped her in the back of the head.

"Shut up, Marie." She snapped, the little girl sobbing quietly as she rubbed the back of her head.

"Hey! You shouldn't do that to your little sister!" Leni said in outrage, her hands going to her hips.

"Quiet, Leni. The grown ups are talking." The mean teen said coldly. "You know what...go ahead. Call the police. They'll just take Marie away. She threw the rock after all." She told Lori with an evil smirk. "Would you really do that to the birthday girl?" The oldest sister just leered at Terri. As much as she wanted to wipe that smirk off her face, she couldn't bring herself to do it. After all, it looked like Marie legitimately sorry for what she did, and, judging from what she's seen so far, may not have done so on her own free will. "That's what I thought. So why don't you get lost, Loud? And take the trash and the re-"

"Finish that sentence and I swear I will send you to the Neitherworld in three separate boxes!" Lori snapped, grabbing Terri by the strings of her top and glaring into her eyes. Terri immediately shut up. She had no idea what Lori was talking about, but she knew Lori had a reputation for having a short fuse. The authoritative blonde then shoved Terri back and motioned for her sister and the ghost to follow her.

"Lori...we aren't going to just let her get away with that, are we?" Leni asked, getting uncharacteristically angry. "Being so mean and terrible?"

"No, Leni. But there's very little we can do...Terri set her sister Marie up to take the fall...and while Marie does deserve to be punished for actually throwing the rock, she did try and apologize, and Terri deserves it even more." Lori explained calmly and quietly.

"Then….that's it?" Leni asked sadly.

"Oh no. Not at all." Her older sister replied, turning around with a devilish grin. "We can't fight her by ordinary means...so we'll have to fight her by extraordinary means." Her not so bright sister looked confused, but Betty was starting to grin herself.

"Are you asking….?"

"Beetlejuice, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to make Terri pay for being such a...witch." Lori told him. "Feel free to give her mother what for too. If she's really going to pay no attention to her kids (not to mention the party guests), then she deserves a good juicing too."

"But what about the other kids?" The kind hearted Loud inquired. "And Marie?"

"Just leave it to me, little lady." BJ told her. "I'll need a new disguise, buuut I think I can handle it."

"Should...we say his name three times before he does this? Like Lincoln does?"

"I...don't think that's necessary." Lori said, though she was uncertain. "Besides, doesn't that only work for Lincoln and Lydia?"

"No clue, ladies...but if you wanna inspire me with a cheer…I won't argue." Beetlejuice said, hopeful.

"Oh! I'll do it!" Leni chirped, raising her hand. The goofing ghost snapped her fingers and Leni was suddenly dressed as a cheerleader, in the red and yellow Royal Woods colors. "Ahem:

Big old meanies best beware,

or you're in for a great big scare!

You should have taken up our truce.

Go get em Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" She cheered, waving her pom poms excitedly. Fortunately, there was loud music at the party and no one heard her.

"It's showtiiime!" BJ exclaimed, his eyes and body glowing as he prepared to transform.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the party, Terri was feeling rather pleased with herself, if a little shaken by Lori's threat. She didn't let it show as she strut through the party, a few of the kids ceasing what they were doing to move out of her way. Marie just watched her from the gate, sniffling, while the security guard glared at the older of the two sisters. However, there was nothing he could do about it, and that frustrated him to no end. "Excuse me." Came a voice from behind him. He turned around and, to his surprise, he saw Luan Loud standing there with a chipper smile.

"Miss Loud...I didn't expect you back here…" He said.

"Well, the show must go on." She replied, giving her arm a little swing as if she were punching an imaginary table.

"Are you sure…?" Luan nodded with confidence. "Alright...if you're sure. Go on in. You already have clearance." The gate guard stepped aside to let her in. He took note of the grin on her face, which he found kind of odd, but hey. They said they wanted him to watch the gate and nothing else. Out of his hands now.

"Hey kids! I'm back!" She called out, getting the attention of all the kids. Most of them looked shocked, some looked nervous, a few seemed happy to see her again. Marie gasped at the sight of the Loud clown, while Terri flinched and turned her head in surprise and anger. "And I have a surprise for EVERYONE!" She pointed further into the backyard, where a large fun house had mysteriously appeared. The younger kids all cheered loudly and stampeded toward the newly appeared building, while Terri just gaped at it, wondering where it came from, and Marie nervously approached her.

"Miss Loud...I'm sorry about the rock…" She said in a voice barely above a whisper. "My sister threatened she would-" Before she could go any further, Luan gently pat her on the head and knelt down to her.

"Don'tcha worry about it, kiddo." She replied with a smile. "Now, why don't you go play with your friends, birthday girl? I have things covered here." She gave the girl a quick wink before gently shooing her off toward the fun house. The little redhead was nervous, but when she saw her sister storming toward her and Luan, she bolted toward the fun house like a bat out of Hades.

"Hey! Get back here, you!" Terri shouted, but before she could pursue, Luan grabbed her wrist.

"Ah ah ah. That's for the kiddies." Luan told her. "Besides, I have a big surprise for you, too."

"I thought I told you to get lost, you metal mouthed freak." She snapped at the comedianne, who didn't even flinch.

"Tut tut. Your mother paid good money to have me perform for your little sister's party." The brown haired funny gal replied, waving her finger in a 'naughty naughty' manner at Terri, which further angered her.

"Then I'll have you fired!" She exclaimed, dragging Luan toward her mother (who was still utterly oblivious to what was going on). Exactly what she wanted. "Mom! I want you to fire this second rate clown!"

"Hmmmm? What'd she do?" She asked, glancing lazily at the two.

"She's no good!"

"Are you sure, Terri? I thought I was doing pretty well with the kids, until you instigated the throwing of food...and rocks." Luan said, her smile fading as she leered at Terri, who simply stuck her tongue out at her.

"...well, if you can't handle a little constructive criticism...then perhaps you shouldn't be playing this party." Mrs Westans replied flatly, absolutely zero cares given at the mention of rocks being thrown.

"Yeah. So for the last time…" Terri started, grabbing a nearby stone. "...get lost!" She hurled it right at Luan's head, who simply stood there with a smile...as the rock went right through her head like it were made of nothing and clattered onto the ground behind her. Terri went kind of pale as she witnessed this, while her mother's jaw dropped, her sunglasses falling off her face.

"H...H...How did you do that?"

"How'd I do….what?" The moment Luan asked what, her skin faded of all color, with dark rings around her eyes, a big red spot on her cheek that looked like it had been scraped badly appeared on her face and a sheet like robe replaced her usual outfit, with a big creepy smile to complete the image. Terri screamed at the sight, while her mother gasped and leaped from her beach chair, scrambling away from the creepy, grinning young lady.

"Th….This isn't funny!" The mother cried in fear. "Stop it!" The gate guard looked into the backyard and noticed the cowering mother and daughter. His first instinct was to run in and intervene, but then he remembered the conversation he had earlier with the teenage daughter.

"You there!" Terri yelled at him. "Get in here and do your job!"

"I AM doing my job, kid." He said with a bit of a smirk. "As you so HELPFULLY pointed out earlier, my job is to watch the door. That's all you pay me to do, and all you want me to do." He reminded her, stepping back to his post.

"Luan Loud, if you don't knock it off, I will ruin you!" Terri screamed, in a last ditch attempt to regain control of the situation.

"Oh?" The pale face Luan asked with a tilted head, before her voice changed. "Who said I was Luan!?" What looked like the funny Loud started to grow, her outfit turning into a black and white suit, her head shrinking a little, her hair becoming messy and greenish yellow. The two 'ladies' just gaped in horror as the giant sized Beetlejuice cackled madly, leering down at them.

"W….what are you!?" Mrs Westans asked in a trembling voice.

"The spirit of karma, lady!" He bellowed down at them, rubbing his hands together as his twisted mind considered how to best punish them. Terri ran for it before the ghost could do anything, her mother close behind. The cruel, domineering brat fled right into the fun house, slamming the door shut behind her before barricading it...leaving her own mother outside with BJ.

"Terri! Sweetie! Please open this door!" Mrs Westans begged, pounding on the door.

"Hah. I think you'd be better off asking me for mercy." The middle aged, inattentive mother whimpered as she heard that voice right behind her. She slowly turned to face the ghost, who was nearly face to face with her with a big, toothy grin.

"P...P...Please, don't hurt me…" She pleaded with him, her knees knocking.

"...Wait. Right. Here." He said calmly, pointing down at the spot she was standing. "Don't move. I'll be right back." He instructed her before vanishing.

* * *

Inside the fun house, Terri was pushing her was through the line of kids waiting to get into the funhouse proper, including her own sister. "Hey…." Marie complained as her frightened older sister was forcing her way in.

"Don't worry, kid. She isn't going to get away with this." Beetlejuice said to her, dressed as a guy working at a carnival, leaning in beside her. He pointed at the opening leading to the attractions, wiggling his fingers. That door closed and a second door opened. Terri didn't even look, too freaked out about BJ's arrival to notice she went in the wrong door. The moment she entered the second tunnel, the portal snapped shut and the original path opened up.

"Where does that go?" Marie asked curiously.

"Just a special route where rude little children who cut in line (among other things) go." He explained with a smirk. A few of the young'uns in line gulped and covertly moved back in line at that.

"Oh...who are you, by the way?"

"Just the barker here." His head turned into a husky's head, barking a few times and getting some giggles out of Marie before he moved into the darkness and disappeared.

* * *

Back outside, Mrs Westans was standing right where BJ had left her, still shivering. The vengeful spirit reappeared and looked down at her feet, then up at her. "Good girl. Stayed put like I asked." He said, patting her on the head (which did nothing to ease her terror).

"D...does that mean you're going to let me go?"

"Ha. Heck no. Just means I'll go easy on ya." He replied with a harsh laugh. "You see, 'eye see' and 'ear' all!" He explained, his eyes bulging out at her and his ears expanding like Dumbo's, causing the carefree mother to scream in fright. "And you, madam, don't seem to like using your eyes and ears to pay attention to your surroundings...especially to what yer kids are up to." He expanded upon, his face still misshapen. "So, by my reckoning...if you don't use them, then you don't want em. In which case, I'll take em!" He pointed his red tipped fingers at him and a beam of magic engulfed the woman's head, her ears and eyes separating themselves from her noggin, leaving blank spaces like she were an unfinished mannequin. She screeched blue, bloody redrum as she started running around the backyard, Beetlejuice laughing his head off. Unable to see or hear, Mrs Westans had no idea where she was going, except for when she bumped into something. In this case, a large pinball bumper, which knocked her on her backside. The grim grinning ghost watched her as she kept bouncing off numerous bumpers her set up (especially around her pool), juggling the eyes and ears he had taken from her.

* * *

Terri sighed with relief as she thought she lost the ghost chasing her finally, never sparing a thought for her mother. She started to walk down the dimly lit path, feeling fairly calm, all things considered. The tunnel led her into a room of mirrors, which brought a grin to her face. She paused in front of the first mirrors, which were normal mirrors, posing a bit as she basked in her own reflection. She moved on to the next mirror and noticed it was one of those super tall mirrors. She chuckled for a moment, thinking that was kinda cute, if juvenile. It was the third looking glass where things took a strange turn. As she stepped in front of it, her reflection turned to Luan. She jumped in shock when she saw this, the mirror image looking at her, waving and dashing off to what looked like the next mirror, but she never reappeared there. A little freaked out, she stepped back, bumping into the reflective surface behind her.

She slowly looked back, only to see a shriveled up old hag in the same bikini as her. She screamed at the sight, clutching her rapidly beating heart. "W...what kind of mirror is this!?"

"The kind that looks into your soul!" The hag responded before falling into wheezing laughter. Terri hastily jumped to the next mirrors, which thankfully (for her) caused the hag to disappear, and Luan to reappear.

"You! This is all your fault!" She screamed, pointing at the image of the comedianne. She just grinned at the angry teen. Terri hastily looked around, spotting a hammer on the floor nearby. She quickly grabbed it and hurled it at the mirror. However, instead of breaking, the tool bounced off the head of the image, which fell to the ground OUTSIDE OF THE MIRROR. Terri's pupils shrank as she realized what she just did, and she beat a hasty retreat further down that path. No way is anyone pinning this on her. She runs down the hall as fast as her legs could carry her. Up ahead, she saw the path turn a corner, but there was a door right in front of her as well. Hoping it was a way out, she shoved it open. It was a way out alright, but not the way out she wanted. When she looked out, she found herself staring right into the Neitherworld. She just stood there in disbelief for a moment, with Jacques jogging by the extradimensional door.

"Bonjour!" He offered in salutation as he passed the shocked teen.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" She screamed in reply, slamming the door shut. "What kind of fun house is this!?"

"The kind where you get it in the end!" Beetlejuice's voice rang out all around her. Another scream left her mouth as she scrambled off down the tunnel. She wanted desperately to get out of there now. In her panicked state, she didn't notice how the path had become tube shaped, nor how it had started rotating. Her next step was right onto the moving segment, causing her to trip and fall right onto her side. She tried to get back up, but as she tried, her body moved along with the floor, causing her to tumble, roll and fall all over again. She was forced to crawl her way through the rolling hall, getting more and more afraid and angry with each step.

"When I get out of this...I will make Luan Loud pay...I will ruin her stupid company, her stupid reputation, her stupid face….." She growled. "And not just that clown….my little sister...she had to have played a role in this...I'll break her arm…."

"Assuming you get out of here, of course!" Terri squealed in fright, picking up her pace, Beetlejuice having a hearty laugh at her expense. Once she had crawled free of the spinning hall, she started running as fast as she could. Unfortunately for her, that only brought her to BJ's next trap faster. The floor gave out from under her, her speed causing her to hit the side of the pit and giving her a chance to grab the edge.

"Oww...that hurt...but at least I didn't fall."

"Well well…" Beetlejuice said as he floated up beside her, sitting cross legged in mid air, a big toothy grin on his face. "Look at you."

"You again!? Can't you leave me in peace…"

"Wouldn't be the spirit of karma if I did." He replied simply. "However, I think you should be more concerned about you...which should be easy for you, but I digress...seems to me you're in a bit of a ticklish situation…"

"You wouldn't dare…" Terri told him threateningly.

"You're right." He said, which surprised the nasty girl. "I wouldn't. I just want to air out a few things." She blinked for a moment, watching as Beetlejuice took his boots off. The stench of his new, freed socks was horrific, turning Terri slightly green in the face. He then peeled his rancid socks off and draped them on her shoulders. The cruel teen quickly held her breath to keep herself from smelling the horrid scent. "Oh, you wanna play like that, huh? Well, guess what?" She glanced over at him, an angry yet inquisitive look on her face. The ghost turned into a giant feather. "NOW I dare." Terri's eyes widened in fear as she frantically shook her head at him. He just nodded, flicking his head just under her arm. She tried her hardest to keep herself from laughing, breathing in the stink, and hold on to the edge. Her face was turning red as BJ kept zipping from her underarms, her side, and her feet. She whined and whimpered as she struggled, but she couldn't keep it up for long. Something had to give. She let go of the side, falling into the abyss and tossing the two filthy socks off of her before she dared breathe. She soon fell onto a kind of slide, sliding down for a few second until she skidded on her rear onto a conveyor belt.

She groaned a bit as she noticed the darkness around her, starting to wonder what would happen next. "Hahahahahaha! Having fun, kid? Cause I'm having a ball…." The disembodied voice of BJ stated, right when Terri got popped by a small sphere that left a bright pink splotch on her. "...paintball that is!" Right after he delivered the punchline, the terrible teen started getting pelted all over with random colored paintballs. She screamed once more, jumping to her feet and running along the belt, covering her face to protect it. By the time she managed to cross the passage, she looked like a living Jackson Pollock painting, but she didn't stop. She thought she could see a way out up ahead. A big smile of relief came to her face as she made a mad dash for it.

"I'm home free!" She shouted, nearly laughing.

"Not yet!" Terri flinched and looked back, seeing a huge bloodhound with black and white stripes all along its body charging at her. "Woof! Woof! Woof!" Her eyes nearly bulged out of her head as she ran as quick as she could, but she couldn't outrun the dog. Its large jaws clamped down hard on the back of her swimsuit, causing her to scream yet again (in spite of the fact she was unharmed). A loud ripping sound was heard as the dog stopped, but Terri kept going. The dog snickered, a chunk of gold and silver fabric in its teeth. "It's like I told you…" BJ said as Terri forced the exit door open and ran out into her own backyard, screaming. "...you get it in the end." He continued, before doing a Muttley snicker.

* * *

Meanwhile, out front of the house, Lori and Leni were waiting by VanZilla for Beetlejuice to finish up. They had heard the screaming of Terri and her mother earlier and knew he had gotten started. They wished they could have watched, but it was on private property, so they were out of luck. As they waited, they both saw Luan biking up to the property, still looking really sad. This wasn't part of the plan and they got kinda worried. "Luan? What are you doing here?"

"...they may not want me here..but I still have to clean up my stuff…" She said glumly. Just then, they all heard a blood curdling scream coming from the backyard. "What was that?" Before Leni and Lori could respond, Terri came running out from the open gate, wailing like a banshee, waving her arms around like a looney, and covered in every color of the rainbow (and then some). The practical joking sister just looked surprised as her older sisters started laughing. "Terri? What happened to you?"

"YOU!" She screeched, pointing at the professional clown. "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" She sounded positively mad in every definition of the word.

"Me?" Luan was even more lost as her ill wisher grabbed her by the collar of her shirt, glaring daggers at her. Her older sisters, for some reason, were laughing even harder. This got Terri's attention and she turns her head so quick, you'd think she'd get a crick in her neck.

"What's so funny!?" She snapped. In answer, the oldest Loud sisters pointed down at the seat of her bottoms. Both she and Luan both looked down and noticed there was a big hole back there. The cruel teen blushed brightly, even through some of the paint, and covered the spot with both hands. Even Luan couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't mean to be cheeky, Terri, but it looks like you got left with your butt hanging in the wind." She quipped before she could stop herself, sending her older sisters to their knees with laughter. The embarrassed bully suddenly had fire in her eyes as she grabbed Luan's shirt, rearing back her fist to deck her. The fourth eldest sister gulped; her sisters were too far away and were still laughing at Terri too hard to stop her, said teen girl was about to give her a pummeling, and she could even see Mrs Westans storming down the lawn after them. She braced herself for the punch...but it never came. She opened her eyes and, to her surprise, Terri's mother had her free wrist in a vice like grip.

"Mom!? What are you doing!?"

"I should be asking you that, Terri!" She snapped, surprising everyone present. "What do you think you're doing to Miss Loud!?"

"Look what she did to me, Mother!" Terri screamed, gesturing to her paint smeared form.

"I didn't do this. I've been home for the last half hour or so." Luan retorted.

"LIAR!"

"It's true. Ask my parents." The jesting teen handed her phone to Mrs Westans, who proceeded to call Luan's parents. A few minutes later, she hung up.

"Mr and Mrs Loud have confirmed she hadn't left the house until about five minutes ago."

"But….that's not possible...she has to have set up that fun house just to get at me!"

"What fun house?" Luan and the angry mother asked in unison, the former sounding genuinely confused and shrugging.

"THAT FUN-" She started to scream. pointing back at the...empty space in her backyard where it used to be. "...but..but...but…" She stammered, her rage giving way to panic and bemusement.

"I think I've heard enough, young lady! Between this and the whole rock incident, enough is too much!" Mrs Westan barked, thrusting her finger toward the front door. "Get inside, get cleaned up and go to your room! We'll discuss your punishment for your actions after the party is over!"

"But Moooooom…."

"No more buts out of you, or it will lead to a spanked one, now march!"

"But Marie threw the-"

"I will be discussing that with her myself once the party's over! March!" Terri just stood there, aghast, clearly not used to being punished. "NOW!" Mrs Westan bellowed, her oldest daughter running like her tail was on fire through the front door. She then looked to Luan, who was just plain stunned. "I'm so very sorry, Miss Loud, for what my daughters did…"

"Er….apology accepted." The comedianne said once the shock wore off. "But...could you not be so hard on Marie? I know she cast the first stone, but it was only because-"

"I know, Miss Loud. Mr Beetleman explained it to me. I can't believe I slept through all that…" Luan was about to ask about that, but her sisters shook their heads to her. "But regardless, she never should have throw the rock either way...you aren't hurt bad, are you?"

"No...just sore and a little red still. No bruises, broken bones or teeth. Guess I got really lucky." She replied, turning her face to show her her cheek.

"It still shouldn't have happened…" Mrs Westans said, shaking her head, pulling her purse from seemingly nowhere and then pulled out a check book. She hastily wrote up a check and handed it to her. "I do hope that helps ease the blow...and settles things between us?" She asked hopefully and somewhat scared.

"It's really not necessary, Ma'am. I'm not hurt that bad…but, if it makes you feel better…"

"Thank you so much...and I do hope I can still call you for Marie's next birthday."

"Of course, Ma'am." The two of them shook hands before Mrs Westans hurried back to her backyard gate, where Beetlejuice (dressed as a handyman) was waiting, pulling a wagon of Luan's gear. "Thank you so much for watching the kids while I was asleep, Mr Beetleman."

"No problem lady. I've got no problem doing a little extra work...for a little extra cash." He replied hopefully, rubbing his fingers together.

"Of course. Worth every penny." She pulled out forty dollars and handed it to the ghostly handyman.

"A pleasure doing business with you, ma'am. And if you ever need any handy work around the house, be sure to call BJ Beetleman." He pitched, handing her a business card before he rolled the wagon along to meet with the Loud sisters. Before he could say anything, Marie came running up to the lot of them.

"Miss Luan! There you are! You had just...disappeared from the party after you sent us to the fun house." Luan looked kind of confused about this, but Beetlejuice was ready to field this one.

"You know these professionals, kid. Always leave em wanting more, and Luan here is as professional as they come." Marie seemed satisfied with that answer, as she nodded and smiled up at the ponytailed comedianne before her.

"Oh. Well, I was hoping I could catch you to say goodbye, I'm sorry...and thank you for brightening my birthday." She said before giving Luan a big hug.

"Awwww, you're welcome, Marie."

"Hey...kid. Come 'ere a second." BJ said, motioning her to come have a private chat with her. The two of them take a few steps away from the Louds, the ghost with the most pulling a business card out of his pocket. "If your sister gives you grief again...gimme a call." He told her quietly, handing her the card, which had his true name on it three times.

"Thank you, Mr Beetleman...wait. There's no number on here. Just the word Beetle-"

"Ah ah ah. Save it for special occasions." He said with a wink. "Now run along and remember: mums the word to Mum about the fun house."

"I'll remember. Thanks again!" Marie ran off back to the party, waving to the four of them as she went. Beetlejuice chuckled lightly, turning around and nearly getting a tackled by Leni giving him a hug, a move that surprised him.

"Err...what's all this?"

"I can't believe I'm about to say this, but that was a legit good thing you did there, Beetlejuice." Lori spoke up, with a smile on her face. "You not only got back at that little brat, but made her mother open her eyes and offered to protect Marie too."

"And like we said before; you do something nice, something nice happens to you." Leni explained to him.

"Alright alright...just don't let it get around." Beetlejuice said quietly, quickly glancing around to make sure no one he knew was looking. "I got a bad reputation to uphold." That comment brought a laugh to Lori, Leni and Luan.

"So...I gotta ask...what did Mrs Westans mean she fell asleep?" Luan asked, looking specifically at BJ.

"Pretty much what she said. She fell asleep not long after you and I got there…" BJ started, the story sounding very rehearsed. "...and she had this HORRIBLE nightmare that her oldest kid was a little snot rag to everyone and brought forth the 'spirit of karma' upon them…" Beetlejuice paused to snicker a bit. "...one of my better ideas. Anyway, said spirit took away her eyes and ears as punishment, and left her to stumble about her own backyard. She woke up about the time she fell into the pool in her dream, and told me everything. I told HER it must have just been a nightmare and filled her in on what went down while she was out. I guess the nightmare was a real eye opener for her."

"Hahaha! I HAVE to hear what else I missed." Luan said with a soft laugh.

"We'll fill you in on the way home." Lori said, opening the back of the van to help BJ get her sister's bike and gear into the back. "Seriously, Beetlejuice...thanks for sticking up for Luan."

"What can I say? She's my pal, and no one messes with Beetlejuice's pals and gets off scot free." He told her, the ghost suddenly wearing a kilt.

"You may be annoying and a jerk...but sometimes...you're alright, Beetlejuice." Lori told him as she closed up the back, she and the slimy spirit getting into Vanzilla to head for home and retell the story of Beetlejuice's revenge.

* * *

 _AN: As a side note, I realize I've been using the Betty Juice disguise a lot. First time was purely for BJ to pick on Lincoln. Second because that's who Lydia's friends knew the best. And third because Betty established herself in Royal Woods already. I will try and mix it up more in future chapters._


	11. Chapter 11

_AN: For only a medium sized chapter, this one gave me no end of trouble. Initially, I wanted this to be the one where Lydia met all of Lincoln's friends, but I couldn't really think of a way to bring them all in. Then the writer's block hit me and, part way through, I seriously considered just scrapping this chapter and starting over. However, I pressed on and, hopefully, my efforts brought an enjoyable chapter. Sorry it took so long. Also, special thanks to DedeTC, whose chant was the one used in this chapter._

* * *

Chapter 11

Lincoln smiled at his reflection as he combed his snow white hair and made sure his best orange polo (which didn't look any different from any of his other shirts, but no one questioned it) looked alright in his room. He turned his head to the left and right to look at his hair from every angle, just as his turkey tail popped right back up. He sighed, but then noticed the readers in the mirror. "Oh. Hey there, guys. Now, I know what you're thinking...Lincoln, you getting ready for a date or something? Well….yeah." He replied with a blush. "Lydia is coming by and I plan to show her around Royal Woods." He grinned a bit as he pulled a pair of passes from his pocket. "Culminating in an afternoon at 'Hole in One-Derland'."

"Heh. Bet she'd love that." Lynn commented from the door, leaning against the frame and grinning.

""I'm sure she will….wait...when did you guys start talking? And like Lynn no less…" The teen athlete snickered, then whistled to get his attention. "Wah!" Lincoln gasped and jumped. "Lynn! It's bad enough when Lucy does that…."

"Hahaha. Next time, make sure you shut your door before you monologue." She told him while laughing. "So, our little bro is planning a little get together with little Miss Deetz?"

"Lynn...please...not a word to the others." He pleaded, looking VERY worried.

"No sweat, bro." She replied, raising her hand. "I promise not to say ONE word about your date."

"Whew...thanks Lynn…" Lynn simply smiled and nodded before she turned back into the hall and screamed:

"HEY GUYS! LINCOLN'S GOT A DATE!" In a flash, nine sets of heads emerge from the doors along the hall, from the bathroom, and from the stairs: with nine glowing female faces smiling at them.

"He does!?" They all asked excitedly.

"Poo poo!?" Lily said, equally excited.

"Lynn!" The one son snapped angrily.

"What?" She asked with a smirk and a shrug. "I said I wouldn't say ONE word. That was six words."

"She's got you dead to rights there, Lincoln." Lisa confirmed as the sister stampede started. Beetlejuice peeked his head up through the floor to see what was going on, just in time to get stepped on by at least three sisters.

"Ouch! Ow! Hey! Watch where yer-OW!" The ghost yelled out, his cries muffled by the excited chatter of Lincoln's sisters as they swarmed on Lincoln. The poor kid never stood a chance. "..I feel like such a doormat…" BJ moaned, his face turning into a welcome mat. It was at that moment when Lydia had passed through the mirror into the Loud House. She was wearing a simple black t shirt, an ankle length dark gray skirt, her hair let down to her shoulders, and wearing the plum lipstick Lola had given her. She glanced down the hall and her eyes widened at the sight of Lincoln's room filled beyond capacity with him and his sisters, and the trampled face of her friend.

"Beetlejuice!? What happened to you?" She asked, running over to him and getting on her hands and knees to see him better.

"A stage six sister swarm." He groaned, nudging his head toward the crowded room. The goth girl looked up and blinked at the mass of people inside Lincoln's room, the poor boy's hand sticking over top of their heads every so often like he were drowning. Lola looked back to see that Lydia standing in the hall, a look of utter surprise on her face.

"Just a second, Lydia." She said, before she noticed the mashed up Beetlejuice on the floor. "LANA! Charles made a mess on the carpet!"

"What? Nah. I trained him well." Lana responded as she squeezed her way out of the mass. She looked down at the 'mess'. "Oh. Hey, BJ."

"Hey little buddy…"

"Oh...well, it's a natural mistake to make." Lola said with a shrug before returning her focus to Lincoln, Lana blowing a raspberry at her behind her back.

"Lana...what's going on in there?" Lydia asked in concern. Before the hat clad twin could say anything-

"Lana, don't you dare spoil the surprise!" Lori yelled out, her head sticking up from the crowd.

"Heh. Sorry Lyd. Out of my hands." Lana told her with a sheepish shrug. So for the next few minutes (after helping BJ out of the ground), Lydia could only stand there, fretting over what could possibly be going on. One by one, the sisters started to disperse, looking pleased with themselves as they passed Lydia and Lana. Soon, it was just Lori, Lola and Luan, trying to stop a squirming, fussing Lincoln.

"Aaaaaaaaaand ready!" Lori chirped in an almost Leni like manner. "Ready or not, here he comes!" The three girls step aside in a sort of dramatic reveal. Lydia had to cover her mouth to keep herself from giggling, while BJ simply burst out into a big belly laugh. Lincoln stood there, with a 'Not again…' look on his face, dressed in a little orange suit with a white carnation on his lapel. The girls seemed to have even tamed his hair...for a moment, but his hair popped right back to the way it once was.

"HAHAHAHA! You look like a midget grandpa in that!" Beetlejuice cried out through his hysterics.

"Oh hush, Beetlejuice." Lydia told him, walking up to Lincoln with a smile...or more of a grin as she was trying her best not to laugh for his sake. "I think it looks nice, even if it is a bit much." She fiddled with his jacket's lapel for a moment, looking a little closer at the carnation.

"Lydia, no!" Lincoln hastily pushed her to one side as a stream of water shot from the flower. He, Lori and Lola all glared at Luan, who just chuckled nervously and shrugged, holding the squeeze trigger. The one brother pulled the spray flower off the jacket, letting it hang limp in Luan's hand before he and Lydia quickly left his room. The moment they got into the hall, they heard the sound of phone cameras going off. Luna, Leni, and Lucy were taking pictures of them as they had emerged. Lydia was blushing a little while Lincoln opened his mouth to object, but then sighed, not having any fight left in him after being forcibly put into a little suit. Lydia took him by the hand and helped him get past his sisters.

"Have a good time!" Leni called out as the two of them escaped out the front door.

"Wow. You weren't kidding about them." Lydia commented as soon as they were outside.

"Yeah...if they even suspect something of the romantic nature, they all strike at once…" The exasperated young man said with a sigh. "I know they mean well...but this?" He gestures to the suit. Lydia giggled softly, but stopped when they heard something soft hit the ground nearby: from under Lincoln's window by the sound of it. They turned the corner to investigate, and saw a canvas bag sitting on the grass. Curious, Lincoln moved closer for a look inside. Inside was a change of his usual clothes, and a note:

"Come on, kid. You didn't think I'd really leave ya wearing that ridiculous monkey suit, did ya? Have fun. BJ."

"...thank you, Beetlejuice." Lincoln muttered, chuckling a little.

"He does like to surprise people." The pale, raven haired teen said with a smile, putting a hand on his shoulder. The middle Loud scooped up the bag and started walking down the sidewalk with Lydia, hand in hand with her.

"Hey Loud!" Mr Grouse yelled from his upper story window. "Nice suit. Headed fer a wedding?...yer own wedding!?" He joked with a wheezy laugh. Lincoln blushed a bit, rolling his eyes as he kept walking, not even acknowledging his grumpy old neighbor. The two of them walked until they reached Flip's, where Lincoln ducked into one of the bathrooms to swap back to his usual duds.

"There we go. That's much better." The snow haired boy said as he emerged from the bathroom.

"Yeah. I think it 'suits' you better." Lydia quipped, the two of them giggling at that. "Sorry. You hang out with Beetlejuice for so long, it affects your sense of humor."

"It's ok. The same thing happens when you hang out with Luan." Lincoln replied with a shrug and a smile. "Besides, it was kinda funny."

Since the two were already at Flip's, he decided to treat her to a Flippy first. The two step inside the convenience store, with Flip leering at Lincoln from the moment they entered and the whole time they filled up their large Flippy cups. Lydia took notice of this and felt a little ill at ease. "Lincoln...why was he watching us so closely?" Lydia asked after he had paid and they left the establishment.

"I think he's still kinda upset what happened at the Spring Festival." Lincoln told her, taking a deep drink of his frozen, syrupy drink. "You see, he set up a crooked game at the festival, and Beetlejuice convinced me to teach him a little lesson in playing fair…" He started to explained, Lydia grinning as she took a drink. "...so when Clyde stepped up, BJ offered a little of his magic and, well, Flip's cheating attempt blew up in his face."

"Hehehehe. It's good to hear you and Beetlejuice are starting to cooperate." She told him as they continued to walk.

"Hey there, Lincoln!" Clyde called out, running toward the two of them.

"Hey Clyde." The white haired boy replied.

"Who's your friend, buddy?"

"She's Lydia, Clyde. And she's my girlfriend, actually." He said, the white haired boy and BJ's closest friend blushing lightly. "Lydia, this is my best friend, Clyde."

"Hi Clyde."

"Nice to meet you, Lydia." Clyde replied, before turning toward Lincoln and signalling a need for a conference. Once they had stepped away, Clyde whispered, "Dude, what about Ronnie Anne?"

"Clyde...I told you guys before. Ronnie Anne and I are JUST FRIENDS." LIncoln replied, an exasperated look on his face.

"Sorry, buddy...but you said before you didn't like her when you actually did, so…"

"...ok, fair enough." The white haired boy conceded with a shrug.

"...who's Ronnie Anne?" Lydia asked with a tilted head. The bespectacled boy jumped in shock, though Lincoln didn't even flinch.

"She's a friend of ours." Lincoln explained, turning to face Lydia. "She lives in Great Lake City, and is as tough as they come."

"I see. Then why the secrecy, Clyde?"

"Er...well…" The african american boy tugged at his collar a bit, thinking he just put his pal in a bad spot.

"My friends (and even my sisters for the longest time) thought Ronnie Anne and I were dating. I mean, we went on, like, one official date...by force."

"By force? She forced you into it!?"

"No. His sister Lori did." Clyde answered, which made the one son blush and completely threw Lydia off.

"Your...sister? I know you said they liked to butt in on your love life, but-"

"Actually, it's a bit of a long story...which involved me opening my big mouth and putting my foot in it." The middle Loud said, nervous rubbing the back of his head. Lydia blinked once, then grinned a bit, crossing her arms in a 'This I gotta hear' way. He told her the whole story: how he had said something to make her cry, Lori informing him that Ronnie Anne was Bobby's sister, her forcing him to join them in a double date, and how things nearly went pear shaped right after they seemed to patch things up.

"Geez...those guys keep mocking you for possibly having a girlfriend, yet in a few short years, they'll be mocking those who don't…" Lydia said while rolling her eyes.

"Yeah...well, after that, I went and made the same mistake a second time…" He admitted, face palming. "...we did end up making up by the end of it, and we became close friends."

"I'm glad to hear that. I gotta say...Lori was out of line there." Lydia said, shaking her head. "And the same goes with Bobby. I mean, I understand they were upset, but that was just...I can't even begin to describe it…"

"I know, right?" Lincoln laughed lightly before he continued. "They both did apologize for it much later though."

"I should hope so." The goth teen replied, before turning to Clyde. "Anyway, Lincoln's told me quite a bit about you, Clyde, but I'd like to know more."

"Oh...well, I like a lot of the same things Lincoln does: Ace Savvy, comic books in general, video games, Academy of Really Good Ghost Hunters, etc; but I'm also fond of antiques, healthy cooking, and cats." The bespectacled boy explained after a moment of thought.

"Really? I like cats too." Lyda said with a smile. "I have a cat named Percy."

"Cool. My cats are named Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti."

"Hehehe. How appropriate." Lydia commented. "I bet you treat those cats like royalty."

"We sure do." Clyde said with a chuckle. Lincoln smiled, pleased that his best friend and Lydia were getting along. "And I guess since you're friends with Beetlejuice, you must really be a fan of ghosts."

"Most definitely."

"Have you ever seen ARGGH?"

"No, but Lincoln has told me about it. Unfortunately, that show doesn't air on any of the channels we have back home." Lydia explained to him, looking slightly saddened by this.

"That's not a problem." Lincoln said. "They're airing a new episode next friday. If you're free, you can come watch it with us."

"Sounds great. I'll have to see how my parents feel about it, but I think it shouldn't be a problem."

"Same with my dads." The african american boy replied, before looking to Lydia. "Oh. I dunno if Lincoln told you this, but-"

"Yeah. He already told me about your fathers." Lydia interrupted him as the three of them started to walk. "And from what I heard, they sound like wonderful people."

"Oh, they are. A...little overprotective though…"

"Hehehe. I can relate. My dad can be a big worrywort too. Half because of his nerves and half because he cares." She started to explain. "My step mother, on the other hand, is a bit more care free. Not to say that Delia doesn't care: she does. But she's like the polar opposite of Dad and me. She's constantly trying to get me to act more like...well, Lola, or maybe Lori."

"Hmmm. Well, nothing wrong with being more like Lori…" Clyde commented, his cheeks turning red as he stared off into space. The goth teen blinked and looked to Lincoln.

"Clyde has a major crush on Lori…" He told her, looking a little exasperated. "He'll snap out of it soon enough." Sure enough, he did indeed return to reality after he bumped into a park bench. From there, Lincoln and Clyde showed her all around the town: the park, their school, their favorite arcade, and Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet. They planned to head to the mall next, though Clyde had to go back home for lunch before they arrived. So it was just Lincoln and Lydia wandering about the mall.

"Do you really come here often, Lincoln?" Lydia asked as they bypassed the directory (as they didn't have a set destination).

"Not really. I come here sometimes with my sisters, or on occasion with my friends to look at the comic book or video game store, but I don't shop here too often." Lincoln admitted. "But it can sometimes be worth a look here, and the food court is usually really good." He turned to look at her with a smile. "Speaking of, how about we stop for lunch? My treat."

"Thank you, Lincoln." She replied with a smile, the two of them heading right for the food court. There was a little of everything there: a chicken place, chinese food, pizza, a Burpin Burger, tacos, cheesesteaks, the works. So many choices that it was difficult for them to choose. The two eventually decided to have a hot dog each and split a soft pretzel (since the ones they sold at the mall were pretty big), along with small sodas. "So, how is Beetlejuice getting along with your family?"

"Eh...I'd say it's more of a live and let unlive kind of deal." Lincoln replied with a shrug. "I mean, Luan and Lana are friendly with him, and Lucy will spend time with him here and there. Other than that, Leni's probably the most civil to him, but she's nice to pretty much everyone."

"I guess the others would rather keep their distance?"

"Pretty much. Lisa and Lynn especially don't like him. Though after the Scuzzo incident, I think he earned a few points with Luna. Not enough for her to like him, but it's a start. And it may be my imagination, but I could have swore I heard Lori say good morning to him."

"It's like I said before, Lincoln: Beetlejuice has his good points, even if he hides them very well." The two of them laugh softly. "How about your parents?"

"Well, Mom isn't fond of Beetlejuice, so she keeps interactions with him to a minimum, but won't hesitate to lay down the law with him if he crosses the line. As for Dad...they had a rough patch since Dad isn't good with creepy things...and then there was the incident…"

"Incident? What incident?" Lydia asked, Lincoln hastily covering his mouth. He hadn't wanted to even bring it up, but there was no turning back. He slowly uncovered his mouth and started to tell her what happened.

"Well...turns out my Dad got in touch with that Inspector Tooslow guy I told you about before. I had...forgot to dispose of the radio he had given me. And he managed to convince my father that Beetlejuice was a serious threat and set up an ambush to get him." The gothic teen's eyes widened when she heard this. "So my Dad brought me, with BJ inside me, to a 'picnic' at a national park...where the inspector locked a collar of some kind on my neck which prevented Beetlejuice from getting out of me." Lydia gasped.

"How did you get out of that one?"

"I probably wouldn't have, if my father hadn't tried to take on Tooslow and his entire SWAT team…It didn't really go well for him, but it gave me the chance to convince Beetlejuice to share some of his power with me. About twenty percent, he said. I'm not going to lie...it felt pretty incredible…" He was quiet for a moment as he remembered how it felt to wield even a portion of BJ's power. He returned to reality after a second or two. "Er...sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah. With his help, I was able to deal with all of them and save my father from non stop swatting."

"That sounded like a terrifying experience…"

"It was, especially since my own father was involved. But I understood that he had been deceived and was looking out for his family's well being, so I forgave him."

"And BJ….?"

"He came around after my Dad learned to make a really good beetle jambalaya." He answered, getting a giggle out of Lydia. They were just finishing up their lunch and starting to share the pretzel when they heard a commotion from not far away. They turned their heads toward the nearby chicken stand to see three burly teenagers intimidating the smaller teen behind the counter. One had slicked back orange hair, the second with a shaved head, and the last with messy dark gray hair. Lincoln groaned when he saw them. "Oh brother...these guys again…"

"You know them?" Lydia asked in concern.

"Unfortunately." The one son grumbled. "The guy at the counter is named Lorth...a real goon if ever there was one, just like his buddies...the three of them messed with me and my younger sisters some time back…" Seeing that the bullies were focused on the poor attendant, Lincoln rose from their table. "... we should probably get out of here." Lydia quietly agreed with his assessment of the situation, the two of them attempting to leave without being sighted. Fate had other plans, however.

"Hey guys! Do my eyes deceive me, or did someone leave an order of SHRIMP in the food court!?" Lorth called out, his two brawny buddies laughing as Lincoln paused in his tracks.

"It can never be easy…" He groaned as he looked over his shoulder, seeing the bullies headed right for them at a speed walk. "Hello, Lorth…"

"What's up, shrimp!?"

"I see being in jail hasn't expanded your vocabulary…" Lincoln replied dryly, getting a very surprised look from Lydia. The leather clad teen didn't seem at all perturbed by the one son's words at all.

"And I see you're still short." He responded, then he looked to Lydia. "...whoa. Puberty was kind to that goth sister of yours though."

"I'm not his sister." Lydia informed him, arms crossed in front of her and a frown on her face.

"Why don't you just leave us be, Lorth?" The white haired lad requested, though he knew that the meathead wouldn't be inclined to acquiesce to his request.

"Now why would I do that, shrimp, when we have a score to settle?" With that, he grabbed Lincoln by the shirt and lifted him up off the ground. "And this time, your sisters won't get in the way."

"Leave him alone!" Lydia yelled, rushing the brute at least two heads taller than her. However, the fatter of his two friends grabbed her and pulled her away from Lorth and Lincoln.

"Patience, little lady...you'll get your turn." The lead bully told her before he hurled his first victim right into the Burpin Burger stand. Fortunately, Lincoln collided with a huge stack of hamburger buns before he fell to the floor, so he wasn't hurt too much.

"BEET-!" The gothic teen tried to cry out, but the overstuffed goon holding her covered her mouth with one hand, still holding her with the other. Lorth smirked down at her as nearby witnesses in the food court were dialing the police.

"What was that, huh? Some kind of secret password for mall security? Not happening, gloomy gal…"

Behind the counter of the burger stand, slowly sat up, needing a few seconds to regain his senses after his forced flight. When he had, he could hear Lydia's muffled cries for help. He peeked over the counter and frowned as he witnessed the scene before him. He desperately wanted to intervene, but he knew he was no match for these brutal bruisers. He ducked his head back down and started to chant.

"I am known as the man with the plan

I help others as best as I can

But when bad guys need a kicked caboose

I call Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."

From behind the barrier separating the customers from the burgers, a sudden bright flash of light burst, like the flash of an old time camera. This got the attention of the three gorillas, looking toward the anomaly before they could lay a hand on Lydia. A few seconds after, Lincoln vaulted over the counter, an unusually serious look on his face. "Well, boys...look at that. The shrimp wants a second helping." Lorth commented with a sneer.

"...you better let her go before something really bad happens to you…" He told the three of them in a threatening tone, glaring daggers at them. The three bullies were momentarily stunned by his daring before they all started laughing. Lydia, on the other hand, was scared for her friend. Lincoln was no fighter and she knew it.

"I like a dead man with a sense of humor." Lorth said with a grin, striding toward the white haired boy. Just then, Lincoln grinned, revealing a mouth full of green teeth. The musclehead swung his ham like fist at the middle Loud. In response, he simply raised his hand, stopping Lorth's attack in mid air. Before the neer do well could register what happened, Lincoln twirled his own wrist, causing the ogre of a teen to flip into the air and land flat on his back hard. His friends just stood there, mouth agape, while Lorth lay on his back trying to figure out what just happened. As near as he knew, the kid never even touched him. Lydia, though just as shocked, took the opportunity to slam her heel into the chunky goon's shin. He screamed in pain and let go of her to put his hands on his sore knee.

"Thatta girl, Lyds." Lincoln called out to her with a smile. "Go get the cops. I've got this." Lydia nodded before she ran off, leaving 'Lincoln' to face the three brutes. She wouldn't normally leave him in such a bind, but between what she just witnessed and the fact he called her 'Lyds', she suspected there was something more going on here.

"Don't just stand there, you idiots! Get that shrimp!" Lorth bellowed as he tried to get to his feet.

"On it boss!" The dumber of the two lackey's exclaimed as he dove at 'Lincoln'. The white haired lad simply stood there as he was grabbed by the neck. "I got it, boss!" Lincoln's head started to turn red and grow as the bully's grip tightened. His head grew bigger, and bigger, and started to float upward. His neck turned into a string, which wrapped around the big, dumb bruiser's wrist. He just stared in bewilderment was he was being pulled upward, by the head that was now revealed to be a balloon. "...I don't got it, boss…" A new head popped up from the collar of his trademark orange shirt.

"Looks like they were right. I do have have an inflated ego." He joked, looking up at the floating brute. This gave Lorth a chance to get back up, and his tubby comrade an opportunity to position himself on the other side of the one they believed to be Lincoln. While they were distracted, the true middle Loud had cautiously slipped out from behind the Burpin Burger counter and scurried away, with the intention of reuniting with Lydia. 'Lincoln' simply looked at Lorth and his pudgy friend with a calm smile on his face, standing between them. The slick haired bruiser threw a punch with all of his might at the boy's head. He simply leaned back, letting the fist fly right past his face. When the fat goon tried it next, he leaned forward to avoid that attack. Now both bullies were trying to belt the boy, but he artfully dodged each punch, his body seeming to wiggle and distort itself just to evade their strikes. Things came to a head when the big bellied brute missed 'Lincoln' again and punched Lorth right in the nose.

"Ow! What the hell!?"

"Sorry, boss...I was just trying to hit him…"

"Stop trying to hit him and hit him!" This made his friend very upset, because he was trying his best. At this point, 'Lincoln' casually stepped back, out of their way.

"I don't see YOU doing any damage!" The blubbery vagabond snapped.

"Why you…." Lorth was seeing red as he and his associate started to beat on each other for a few seconds. The mall patrons, originally horrified, then stupefied, were now laughing their tails off at what was going on. The two probably would have knocked each other out if a greenish yellow haired man hadn't stepped between them, wearing an old timey mortician outfit. With a stone faced look, he pulled out a pair of dueling pistols from under his cape.

"Pistols at ten paces?" He asked in a calm, flat voice. The two violent punks grabbed the weapons and turned their backs to one another. They started counting paces...or the fat bully was. Lorth simply turned around when the count reached four and fired at the back of his friend's head, causing everyone in the area (minus the man who gave them the guns) to scream. Instead of a bullet, a boxing glove flew out of the barrel. At the sound of the bang, the multi chinned miscreant turned around to see what it was, just in time to get punched in the face. He spun around a few times like an extremely overweight ballerina before collapsing to the ground, the impact registering on the richter scale (not really). Lorth just looked confused, lowering the smoking gag gun, 'Lincoln' nearby laughing hysterically. The lead vandal glared at him and pointed the gun at him next.

"You're next, shrimp!"

"Ah ah ah. You're forgetting two things." The white haired boy said with a smirk, wagging his finger at him.

"And that is!?" Lorth asked as he pulled the trigger, only to get a soft click.

"One, dueling pistols, even trick ones, only get one shot each." The middle son said in a smug tone. Lorth roared in frustration and hurled the funny weapon away.

"And the second!?" 'Lincoln' directed his attention upward just as there was a loud popping sound.

"CATCH ME!" The dim witted bully screamed as he plummeted down toward Lorth. The goon with the slicked hair was too slow to avoid getting flattened by his felonious friend, the impact knocking them both out. The one son snickered a bit and made sure all attention was on the out cold trio before he faded from existence.

* * *

"What do you mean there's nothing you can do!?" Lydia yelled in the face of the little man who was acting security chief of the mall at the time.

"Look, little lady…" He told her, in a shaky voice, holding his arms out to keep her from getting any closer. "I get your concern...but there's only one of little old me and three of them. I already called the cops. I did all I can…"

"I don't think they'll be much of a problem anymore." Came the voice of Lincoln from right behind her. The goth gal turned quickly and, upon seeing the Loud boy seemingly alright, ran over to him and gave him a big hug.

"Lincoln! You're ok!"

"You really alright, young man? The lass here says you got thrown for a loop?" The security chief inquired.

"Yeah." The white haired lad replied as he hugged Lydia in return. "I ended up hitting a stack of hamburger buns before hitting the floor. And for the record, they aren't kidding when they say they have the softest buns."

"Well, that's good...and what was it you were saying about them not being a problem anymore?"

"A 'mutual friend' of ours is taking care of them." He explained, smiling to his raven haired girlfriend as they separated from the embrace. She got the hint immediately.

"Well...in that case, I should head over and make sure they don't get away till the police arrive." The little man said, pulling up his pants and striding off to the food court.

"Oh, now you want to get involved…" Lydia commented with a hint of disdain.

"To be fair, the guy is pretty much all on his lonesome since Bobby moved away, and he has to spend most of his days dealing with Scoots." Lincoln explained to her, shrugging slightly. "Though you would think they would have hired someone new at this point…"

"My thoughts exactly." Lydia sighed slightly, but then turned to smile at Lincoln. "But as long as you're alright and no one, except maybe those bullies, were hurt, then all's well that ends well." The one son nodded in agreement before taking her hand and the two of them making their way out of the mall just as the police were heading in. "So, how exactly did you run into that guy?"

"It was a couple months back..." Lincoln started to explain as they walked hand in hand across the parking lot. "Mom had asked me to take my younger sisters to the park. Lorth and his two gorillas decided it would be a good idea to mess with them: stealing Lola's toy wand, shaking Lana down for money, and trying to steal Lily's lollipop. I tried to stop them each time, but ended up getting roughed up."

"Yeesh. What a bunch of creeps...I hope they got what was coming to them…"

"Oh, they did, thanks to my sisters." He said with a soft laugh.

"Hey Lyds, Mr President." Beetlejuice called out as he appeared over their shoulder.

"Hello, Beetlejuice." Lydia greeted him with a smile.

"Hey BJ. Thanks for the help." Lincoln said. "I hope I didn't pull you away from something important back home."

"Nah. Was just hanging out with Lucy for most the day...not as exciting as you think…" The goofing ghost said with a frown. "All poetry this, vampires that...all doom and gloom. I like a bit of darkness, but SHEESH!" The one son covered his mouth to hide some chuckles. If only Beetlejuice knew about her break from the darkness...though he would never tell. Besides, seeing the ghost irritated was somewhat cathartic. "...but giving those mongoloids what for was a lot of fun." The spirit said with a smirk.

"We're glad you had fun, Beetlejuice." The raven haired teen by Lincoln's side said. "But you have to head back to the Loud House." BJ sighed and slumped a bit, but vanished from sight.

"...hmmm. Perhaps I should bring Beetlejuice someplace fun tomorrow." The middle son mused out loud to himself. "He has been behaving fairly well, and a bored Beetlejuice is a scary prospect."

"Hehehe. You don't know the half of it." Lydia stated with a giggle. Lincoln chuckled in reply, the two walking down the sidewalk while chatting about some of the adventures she and the ghost with the most had gone on before. While it seemed like they were wandering aimlessly, the man with the plan was actually bringing her to their final destination. They were just approaching it while Lydia was describing the time she had been kidnapped by Thing Thong.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Lincoln asked, making sure she was looking at him as they got closer, so he could really surprise her.

"Oh no. He was really a nice guy. He just collected things and people he saw as beautiful."

"He has a good eye for beauty then." He said with a grin, Lydia blushing quite a bit in response. "So, how did you get out of that one?"

"Well, I helped Thing Thong with a little makeover, really boosting his self confidence, and he let me go."

"A very thoughtful solution."

"Thank you. Beetlejuice didn't quite get it when he found me soon after, after I explained what happened. I told him I saw beauty in the big lug, and in Beetlejuice too."

"Hehe. How did he react to that?"

"BLECK! BLEH! BLAH!" Lydia replied, trying her best to replicate her friend's looks of disgust. Lincoln was left in stitches by that, slapping his knees as he laughed.

"Can't say I expected any less from him." He said, once he had the ability to speak. "Oh, Lydia. I have a little surprise for you."

"A surprise? Awww, Lincoln, you shouldn't have." She responded with a smile. The white haired Loud just grinned broadly as he pulled the two passes for Hole in One-derland from his pocket and revealed them to her in grand fashion. Her smile grew when she saw the passes, a slight sparkle in her eyes.

"And that's not all." He said, maintaining the grin. He looked up behind her, which led to his date turning around to see what he was looking at. Her mouth hung open in surprise and wonder when she saw the miniature golf course right there. The white haired boy chuckled and put an arm around Lydia's middle as the two of them passed through the gate, into the whimsical, Wonderland themed mini golf course.

* * *

 _AN: For anyone curious or don't remember, Lorth and his friends came from the first fanfic I posted to FanFiction, Walk in the Park. I didn't want to keep using Hank and Hawk, and didn't want to do the same cliche of Chandler being the bully (I did that once already), so I brought them back for an encore. Hope you enjoyed the story and hopefully, it won't take me another month to get the next chapter out._


	12. Chapter 12

_AN: Well, this one took a while, in spite of being a fairly short chapter, but hopefully, it turned out enjoyable. First off, special thanks to Yellowpikmin88 for the idea for this chapter. Very much appreciated. Second, I still have a few small chapter ideas (centered along BJ and Lola, Lydia and Lynn, and BJ and Lisa) before I get back to the main story, but I will get there. I promise. Also, I am still working on Lynn Loud and the Not So Reluctant Werewolf, Louds and Dragons, and the sequel to Lincoln Loud and the Ghoul School, just in bits and pieces as ideas come. They too shall come in due time._

 _Showtime property of the band Devil's Envy_

* * *

Chapter 12

Early evening at the Loud House. A time that was usually associated with a certain amount of noise, particularly in Luna's room. However, that evening, it was unusually quiet in her room. Not that there wasn't any music coming from her room; there was. However, it sounded like a few scattered notes being played on her guitar. The reason for this was very simple: Luna felt uninspired. The rocker teen was fresh out of ideas and hoped she could come up with something while just playing her axe. However, this was working as well as giving Beetlejuice a bath. She sighed in frustration, flopping back on her bed. Sam, who was comfortably seated in the beanbag chair in the room, looked up at her with a concerned expression, holding her own guitar. "You alright, Luna?" The blonde haired girl with the blue bangs inquired.

"I got nothing, Sam…" The usually spirited musician admitted sadly. "Been trying to find something new for this gig at that metal night club, Club Envy, this friday."

"Don't worry so much, Lu." Her bandmate and girlfriend said with a small smile, standing up from the beanbag and moving over beside Luan and Luna's bunk bed. "I'm sure they're gonna love us."

"Cheers, luv…" The third oldest of the Loud siblings said with a weak smile of her own. "...but these guys are notorious for being very picky…"

"Yeah. I've heard the stories. The last band who played for them-" She paused mid sentence, not wishing to worry her love any more than she already was. "-but I'm sure they're just stories." The loudest of the Louds slowly glanced up at her poster of Mick Swagger hanging over her bed, feeling far from reassured. Around this time was when Beetlejuice floated through the wall, looking somewhat fed up.

"Hey! Ever hear of knocking!?" Luna shouted when she noticed the ghost with the most entered the room.

"Well, excuuuuuse me, princess!" Beetlejuice replied, snapping his fingers. Luna's usual outfit turned into a midnight colored gown with glittering stars all along the lower half, a crescent moon mark on either side of her hips, and a tiara with a matching horn attached to it. The rock and roll Loud sighed, swiping the crown off her head and tore the dress off, her favorite outfit on underneath it.

"Shame. Looked good on you, Lu." Sam told her with a grin, making Luna blush deeply. "You seem kinda bothered about something there, Beetlejuice."

"I'm just bored. Lincoln's away, my little buddy is playing with her twin, my pranking partner is at a sleepover, and if I have to listen to any more poetry, I'M GONNA GO STIR CRAZY!" He exclaimed, his head turning into a tea cup, a teaspoon spinning wildly in it. Sam giggled a little, and even Luna had a hard time not smirking at that.

"Still, you could have knocked, BJ."

"Well, it's not like you and Sam I Am were locking lips...again." The ghost with the most retorted, making the two turn bright red and bringing a smirk to his mouth. "And me being bothered? Who put a pin cushion in your shorts, guitar hero?"

"I'm just stuck…" Luna admitted in frustration, flopping back onto her pillow. "We have a gig at a metal club, who are the toughest audience ever. I wanna give them something new, but I can't think of anything…"

"Metal huh? It wouldn't happen to be...death metal, would it?" BJ inquired eagerly, changing into a full leather outfit with spiked shoulder pads.

"Gasp. Did someone say death metal?" Lucy asked from the door, causing everyone in the room to jump.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Put the notebook down and step away…" The pranking poltergeist said, holding his finger at her like an officer confronting an armed fugitive.

"I don't have my notebook." The little goth girl responded flatly. BJ slowly lowered his hand, still somewhat cautious.

"...well, anyway, whenever I'm in a slump like that-" Beetlejuice said, turning back to Luna. "-I find the best way to get around it is to psyche myself up."

"And how do you do that?" The third eldest Loud child asked indifferently.

"Like this: It's SHOWTIME!" The ghoul declared. Right after he belted out his catchphrase, Sam absently played a few notes on her guitar (playing part of the Beetlejuice theme). Luna suddenly sat bolt upright.

"...say that again." She said, her eyes locked on Beetlejuice. The ghost looked a little confused, but shrugged.

"It's showtime!" He called out again, Sam playing the notes again. A smile started to form on Luna's face.

"I think I'm getting something here.." She said before she grabbed her trademark guitar, starting to play along with Sam, who was smiling just as much as Luna. "Hey, Luc. Think you can come up with some kinda dark lyrics for us?"

"With pleasure." Lucy said with a small smile, headed back to her room. It was around this time when Lincoln and Lydia had just gotten back from Hole in One-Derland, laughing joyously. The white haired boy looked like her had fallen into a river, and Lydia had splotches of paint on her, but by the look of it, they had the time of their lives.

"We definitely have to go back sometime soon." Lydia said as they started to ascend the stairs.

"Without a doubt...hopefully when the paint on the windmill dries." Lincoln commented, snickering a bit.

"Hmph." Lydia jokingly huffed. "Well, you better stay away from the moat next time...unless you bring your swim trunks." The two started laughing softly again as they reach the top, getting the goofing ghast's attention.

"Hey, lovebirds!" He yelled out. "If you gotta moment, Luna wants to chat a moment!" The one son and his gothic girlfriend looked at one another for a moment, kinda confused.

"I wonder what Luna could want." Lincoln mused out loud.

"Let's go find out." The raven haired teen said, taking the middle Loud by the hand as they walked into Luna and Luan's room.

* * *

Friday night finally came, and come 9PM, Club Envy was packed to the brim with metal heads of all shapes and sizes. The news of Luna Loud performing there that evening was big news, and everyone was expecting big things from the show. However, not all the expectations were positive… "So, you looking forward to the show tonight?" A tall, rather chunky teen boy with short, greasy red hair, the start of a scarlet goatee, and wearing all leather, including fingerless gloves.

"Darn right I am, mate." His friend replied with a grin. He was a bit shorter, with his black hair worn in kind of an emo style. He was wearing a black t-shirt with the name 'Kobb' written across the chest, blue jeans and black sneakers. He had what looked like a nose ring and a few earrings along his ear lobe. "I've heard Luna Loud play before, and am stoked to hear her shred some heavy metal. You?"

"Hardly." The fire haired tubby guy replied in an almost bored tone. "Luna Loud may do rock right. I will concede that point. But she doesn't live metal like I do." He added pompously, gesturing to his own chest. "So the odds of her getting it right are non-existent."

"Oh, come on, Mike…"

"Ah ah ah. At the club, I am Moltar." The dark haired teen sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Fine…'Moltar'...you aren't going to give her a hard time tonight, are you? You almost started a riot heckling the last band...nearly got us banned for life."

"They had it coming, those posers…" Mike responded with a huff. "Someone needs to keep the pretenders and fake metal bands in their place, and that someone is me. If anything, I think I was too soft on them. I don't plan to make that mistake with Luna Loud, however…" 'Moltar's' friend face palmed and quickly started to distance himself from the pretentious metal snob, making certain to tell others he was not with him. Meanwhile, up on stage, Lincoln was peeking out from behind the curtains, shivering a bit as he saw all the people in the club; all of them looking VERY tough and mean to his eleven year old eyes.

"You alright there, mate?" Chunk asked as he was setting up a drum set in front of a prop grave that Beetlejuice was giving the critical eye to.

"...it looks like a tough crowd out there…" The white haired boy said meekly, his knees knocking. Luna's faithful roadie raised an eyebrow as he took a quick peek at the audience. He chuckled and pat the young man on the shoulder.

"Ah, don't you fret, Lincoln. They may look tough, but they're just normal blokes like you or me. Tough is just the metal style." Chunk reassured him, before turning his attention to the ghost with the most. "What's the word, BJ?"

"Hmmmm…" The pranking poltergeist hummed as he gave the false burial site one more look around. "Mmmm...It'll do."

"You better get in costume, Linc. We're about to get started." Luna called to Lincoln from her own dressing room.

"I hope this works…" The one son muttered to himself as he went to go get changed.

"Don't worry, Mr President. You got the Ghost with the Most on your side." BJ told him with a smirk. "We got this in the bag." He added, holding up a bag that was shaking and wiggling.

"What's in there?"

"My lunch. What else?" The spirit explained as he pulled out a big, fat beetle and loudly crunched on it. Lincoln just sighed, too used to the sight to be grossed out by it. A few minutes later, the patrons of the club were all getting comfortable in their seats, chilling on the dance floor or were waiting in front of the stage for Luna's performance to begin. Mike was situated in a seat closest to the stage (which was still several yards away). The dark curtains drifted apart to reveal...a darkened stage. There was some muttering for a moment before a single small stage light shone onto a tall podium, where Lucy stood, wearing a black robe with a thick book before her. She spread her arms wide before she started to chant.

"Though he is known as a pest and a louse…" A few more lights turned on, illuminating Luna in Baron Samedi type costume with her faithful guitar and Lincoln, dressed as a zombie, with his double bass. The followed up by saying together:

"He is going to rock this house!" The next set of lights shone on Sam, dressed like a vampiress, Lydia by a keyboard looking like the Bride of Frankenstein, and Chunk at the drums right behind the stage grave, donning a mad scientist outfit. They continued the incantation with:

"So unto you, let us introduce…"

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, BEETLEJUICE!" They all recited together. A bright light shone from the grave as the dirt as the five of them started to play, Beetlejuice bursting forth from the mound of dirt.

"Whoa! They've gone horror themed. Nice." One of the patron's commented with a smile as Beetlejuice cackled maniacally before exclaiming:

"It's SHOWTIME!"

"Puhlease...Horror metal is derivative and cliche…" Moltar groaned while rolling his eyes as he watched Beetlejuice fly around over the stage, while the Loud siblings, Sam, Lydia, and Chunk all played a metal version of Beetlejuice's theme song. It was then, Lucy started to sing.

 **Lucy: Welcome to the afterlife, you broken soul…**

 **Luna: There's no turning back, so make yourself at home!**

 **Sam: Cause even if you leave, you'll end up right back here…**

 **Luna and Sam: ….where you BELONG!**

The crowd seemed to be loving it, many of the ones closest to the stage cheering them on, while others were busting a move or head banging over on the dance floor. However, every party needed a spoil sport, and that was Mike that night. "From one cliche to another...girl doesn't have an original bone in her body...no pun intended. And the whole flying thing...I can see the strings." Anyone close enough to hear him did their best to ignore him, though he was purposely trying to be loud and obnoxious enough to be heard; a fact BJ clued into pretty quick.

 **Lincoln: We haunt the living just for show.**

 **Lydia: And darkest terrors, and all around the world…**

 **Lydia and Lincoln: …we make it so!**

It was here Beetlejuice started to work his magic, with a wave of his hand, he summoned a group of banshees to sing the chorus while flying in circles over the audience. This move surprised a lot of them, even frightened a few, but they all believed it was part of the act, so there was nothing to really fear. "Hmph. Fog machines and projectors." The pompous metal critic scoffed. "While the singers simply sing backstage...but, credit for them being in key and harmony, I suppose…"

 **Beetlejuice: Just say my name and I'll show you**

 **The Ghost with the Most. You know it's true.**

 **Come on set me free, there's nothing to lose.**

 **Luna and Sam: Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! BEETLEJUICE!**

Beetlejuice burst out into laughter again, deciding to take things up a notch. He looked down at Lincoln and Lydia, directing his next magic beam toward them. The beams struck the one son's bass first, causing it to transform into a monstrous bass creature, causing him to jump back in shock. The gothic teen looked just as surprised as her own instrument came to life, both of them starting to play on their own. The boy and girl looked at one another for a moment before they started to levitate off the ground. "Whoa…this wasn't part of the show...was it?" Lydia inquired, caught completely off guard.

"I don't think so…" The white haired boy replied in slight bemusement, but then a smile spread across his face. "...but hey, as long as we're up here, why not enjoy it, right?" Lydia looked at him a little oddly before she smiled back to him. "Shall we dance?"

"Yes. Let's." She replied before the two of them started to dance along to the music in midair. Luna was a little startled at the ad lib from the filthy phantom, but seeing how it looked like they were having fun up there, she couldn't help but smile. The ghost with the most wasn't through yet. With a flick of his fingers, Luna and Sam were also brought into the air. Once more, this hadn't been planned, but they were going to roll with it. Besides, Luna always wanted to try shredding in zero gravity, or some equivalent.

"How did they do that!?" Mike's friend inquired in amazement as he watched Lincoln and Lydia's mutant instruments play themselves. He turned to look over at Moltar a few tables away, and what he saw greatly amused him. The metal snob had this look that said both 'wth' and 'I am really nettled right now…' Moltar didn't want to admit it, but he had no idea how could have pulled that off, and he hated it. In order to 'save face', he quickly looked for something else to complain about.

"Ahem. I will admit that...was a good trick." The chubby critic commented. "However, having all the performers 'flying'? Staaaaale. Besides, it's obvious they're all flying on wires." The moment he said that, Lincoln and Lydia started to soar around the club together, twisting and twirling around one another while laughing. If they were flying via strings, they would have gotten tangled up with one another. Seeing this irked Moltar, who remained convinced he was right. Beetlejuice glared at him, his limited patience almost gone thanks to his grousing. However, he couldn't go after him...yet. The pretentious pest climbed on top of his table, watching as the two kids were flying around on the ceiling. He waited for Lydia to fly kind of low before he made a grab for the 'wire'. She gasped as she thought he was going for her. However, when his hand swung over her, she didn't even slow down, much less stop. Mike blinked, then went pale as he grabbed his own hand, looking fearfully at it. He thought the wire he believed she was flying on sliced through his hand. He wiggled his fingers and his hand for a moment, sighing with relief when he realized all was well. "...whew. They're lucky I'm not hurt…"

"Yes...they are lucky you weren't hurt for being a complete idiot…" Someone else commented, getting laughs from those around him and making Mike go red with rage. Now he had gotten the attention of Lincoln, Luna, Sam and Chunk, who were glaring at Moltar (Lucy had disappeared from the stage, her work there done in her eyes). However, most of them were performing, so there was little they could do. Lincoln, however, thought he could teach this guy a little lesson while still performing. He made a few gestures to his possessor, who grinned and gestured to the banshees. While not missing a beat, the spirits dove down toward Moltar, startling him and causing him to duck and covering his head. The one son chuckled and went to fly back over to where the others were. Further angered, the portly metal snob sprang up from the table and grabbed hold of the middle Loud. What he expected to happen was to pull the boy down to the ground so he could prove his point. What ACTUALLY happened was the overweight complainer going along for the ride, only succeeding in slowing the white haired boy down.

"Ow! Hey! No hitchhikers!" Lincoln snapped at him, glaring at the shocked teen holding onto his legs. This was when Beetlejuice decided to get personally involved, turning into an old timey, old lady school teacher and appearing beside them.

"No touching the performers, young man!" He said in a high pitched, screechy voice as he smacked Moltar's hand with a yardstick. The teen let Lincoln go, wincing as he waved his hands to try and ease the pain, somehow staying in mid air. "And now, for our first lesson of the day…" The grim grinning ghost simply pointed down toward the ground. "...gravity." Mike blinked and looked down just as he started to fall screaming toward the patrons on the dance floor. "Hey! Any of you guys down there who DOESN'T catch him gets a free t shirt!" BJ called out in his regular voice. The dancers all quickly move away, making a nice, big circle for the doughy pest to crash land in the center of. It wasn't that high up, so he wasn't hurt too badly. Beetlejuice nodded in satisfaction as he gestured toward the metalheads on the dance floor, a brand new t shirt appearing in all their hands. The three playing on stage were trying their best not to burst out laughing as they keep the show going.

 **Luna and Sam: Watch it consume you! Watch it consume me!**

 **Beetlejuice: You think you played me, but I won! I won!**

 **Come watch me play as the bodies fall!**

 **I won! I won!**

 **It's SHOOOOWTIME!**

The impractical joker flew back over the stage, ready for the big finish as he threw his arms wide in grand fashion, lightning shooting from his fingers. When the bolts hit the walls, skeletons playing trumpets, saxophones, and violins appearing in each place. After that, BJ screeched with laughter as he transformed into into a freaky, striped sort of carousel that took over the spot where the stage once occupied. Luna, Sam and Chunk don't even flinch, but the audience were in utter shock with what they were witnessing. Meanwhile, Lincoln and Lydia had returned to dancing together in the air, though they were paying much less attention to the music and more attention to each other. They smiled brightly to one another as the floated closer to one another. The one son and raven haired gal embraced each other, gently twirling in each other's arms in time with the music.

 **Luna, Sam, BJ: Don't ever turn your back on me!**

 **You're talking to a dead guy, see!?**

 **And everything you've ever known will be forever lost**

 **Beetlejuice: In my own grave...TO KEEP!**

With the last words sang, BJ, the banshees and skeletons started to get sucked back into the prop grave as if it were a black hole. The boisterous ghost gave one last belly laugh before the last of him vanished into the hole, which filled right back up as if it had never been disturbed. Luna, Sam, Chunk and the enchanted instruments played the last few notes with a grand flourish as they gently descended back to the stage floor, along with the hugging Lincoln and Lydia. As soon as the song finished, the instruments returned to normal, with the double bass falling over and the visitors of the club went into thunderous applause. The sudden clapping got the couple's attention, the two looking to the audience with soft blushes on their cheeks while the two guitar players and Luna's roadie all bowed as the curtain dropped.

* * *

A little bit later…

"That ROCKED!" Luna exclaimed backstage as they were all cleaning up their props and equipment, having just gotten out of their costumes.

"Yeah. That was a lot more fun than I thought." Lincoln said, helping Lydia put Luna's speakers onto a cart while Lucy collected her foam gravestone.

"You lot knocked their socks off." Chunk commented, smiling with pride at Luna and Sam.

"You too, Chunk. You did a phenomenal job on the drums." Lydia said.

"Cheers, ma'am."

"I think that all went rather well." Lucy finally spoke up, a small smile on her face. "Even with the minor nuisance."

"What was his problem anyway?" The white haired boy pondered out loud with a frown.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Beetlejuice said, pointing toward one of the stage doors, where Moltar had just barged through, in spite of security personnel trying to force him out of the backstage.

"You there!" He shouted, pointing hostilely at Luna as he stormed toward them. "You are going to explain how you pulled that off, you poser!"

"What in the bloody 'eck are you talking about?" An angry Luna replied.

"All those tricks you pulled!"

"We didn't do any tricks." Sam spoke up, standing by Luna's side. "That was all done by Mr Beetleman over here."

"Well, he better spill his secrets, before I sue you all for assault!"

"Assault!? You were the idiot who made a grab for my little brother!" Luna snapped, Lucy and Sam needing to hold her back before she could deck him. "You could have hurt him, not to mention you should know better than to touch folks when they're performing!"

"I will touch whoever I darn well feel like, however way I like!" Mike yelled at her, reaching for Lincoln's shirt to prove his point. Chunk moved quickly, stepping between the pest and the one son.

"I don't think you want to be doing that, guv." He said, cracking his knuckles. "Wouldn't want to be literally thrown out of here, would ya?"

"You stay out of this!"

"He's right, Chunk. His fight is with me." BJ said, striding over with his hands in his pockets, a smirk on his face. "I did the effects and I smacked his hands when he grabbed Lincoln." This turned the metal snob's indignation against the ghost with the most. He stormed over to him and grabbed hold of his lapel.

"Then you better start talking, before things get ugly for you!" Moltar yelled into his face.

"...you wanna take this outside, sir?" Beetlejuice asked in a secret service sort of tone, still smirking. Mike nodded slightly, letting the ghost go and storming to the nearest exit. He thrust the door open, letting Beetlejuice saunter out first before he followed, slamming the door behind them.

"Miss Loud, our apologies for that...we tried to stop him…" One of the two guards said, looking very sorry.

"Be cool, gents. We know you tried. That guy is just plain stupid with a stubborn streak." The third eldest of the Loud sisters said with a disgusted look toward the door.

"You want us to call the police, ma'am?"

"I don't think that'll be necessary." Lydia interject, counting down from ten in her head. "I think Mr Beetleman has everything well in hand."

"Are you sure about that, young-" Before the security guard could finish his thought before they all heard a blood curdling scream from outside, followed by the crash of trash cans. Chunk and the two guards ran to the door and looked outside, just in time to see a white haired Moltar heading for the hills and BJ just standing there looking as chill as anything. "...wh...what happened out here?"

"The guy blustered a lot, but the moment someone looks like they'll fight back, he runs home to momma like the big baby he is." Beetlejuice replied with a shrug, grinning as he worked a little magic with his hands in his pocket. "Don't think he'll be back either."

"Still...better recommend to the owner to ban the guy for good this time." He said. "You have a good evening folks, and thanks for the great show."

"Thanks. You too." Lincoln replied, waving to them as they left. The moment they were gone, everyone there just started laughing, no one harder than Beetlejuice.

A few minutes later, Chunk's van was all packed up and ready to go. The Loud siblings, Sam and Lydia had just barely managed to squeeze themselves into the vehicle, leaving no room for Beetlejuice...at least normally. The joking phantom was almost never without tricks, however, and shrank himself down to doll size, making himself comfortable on Lincoln's shoulder. As the van started to move, Luna looked back at her brother, or more specifically the ghost on his shoulder. "Hey, BJ. Can I have a word with you?"

"Why not?" The spirit replied, floating over to hover in front of her. "What's new, pussycat?" As he finished asking that, a pair of black cat ears appeared on her head and a golden crescent moon trinket on her forehead. The rock and roll Loud chuckled a bit, then takes off the ears and flicked off the trinket.

"Cute…" She muttered. "Anyway, I just wanted to thank you. Your magic really helped bring the whole show together."

"Hehe. What can I say? I got the music in me." He said, reaching his hand under his arm to make a few armpit farts.

"Er….yeah…" Luna said, cringing a bit before returning to a soft smile. "But also, thanks for looking out for my bro, and giving that creep what he had coming to him."

"Well, I see Lincoln as a part of myself these days, and NOBODY messes with Beetlejuice and gets away with their dignity intact." The filthy wight said, leaning back against against nothing in a relaxed manner.

"Whatever did happen to the guy?" Lucy inquired, though she had her suspicions. Before BJ could answer, Chunk was forced to slow down due to a crowd partially in the road. As he moved slowly passed the group, everyone in the vehicle looked out to see what was causing the obstruction. A crowd of teens was gathered around a pale and frightened Mike, who was trying to tell them that he had just seen a ghost. However, between his rambling, babbling and the baby bonnet and diaper he had on over his club outfit, no one was taking him seriously, instead laughing uproariously at the goofball. Luna, her friends and family all had good laugh at his expense before the burly brit behind the wheel passed the group in the road and headed off back for the Loud House.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Ok, Lola. It's almost go time…" Lincoln said to his younger sister, brushing her golden hair. They were standing backstage of the 'Royal Woods Little Miss Cutie Pie' pageant, surrounded by Lola's numerous rivals and other little girls, who were being prepped by their parents or elder sisters. Lincoln got a few odd looks from some of the new competitors and their family, but most of the regulars knew him well enough not to even a second glance. While most of the girls looked excited and anxious, the regular and 'professional' pageant participants had their game faces on, and Lola was no exception. "You know what to do and say?"

"Naturally." Lola replied with all confidence, then she added under her breath. "You know who isn't here, is he?"

"No need to worry. Beetlejuice is at home, playing with Lana, Luan, Leni and Lily." He whispered back.

"Good. The last thing any of us need is his twisted idea of fun." Lincoln nodded in agreement. While he had to admit the ghost with the most was getting better (or perhaps they were just getting used to his monkey shines), someone with his sense of humor would just be more stress than necessary. "Uh oh. Showtime."

"Knock them out, Lola." Lincoln told her as she skipped onto the stage, before he realized what he had said. "Figuratively, of course!" While Lola was strutting her stuff on stage, a few men in suits with press badges on their chests and carrying little notebooks were watching the stage carefully from behind the audience. To the casual observer, they were reporters writing an article for the local paper. However, their notebooks lacked much information regarding the pageant itself, and only held the names of certain participants. A few names were crossed out, with the two remaining names being Lindsey Sweetwater and Lola Loud. Up close to the front, the Loud parents, Lori, Luna, Lucy and Lynn were watching the little pageant princess perform: doing her pageant walk, showing off her baton twirling skills, and giving an 'inspirational' speech about education. All the while, Lincoln watching his little sister work her charms with pride. Like his family, he was oblivious to the plotting that was happening.

As the pageant was reaching its end, it was down to Lola and Lindsey, as it usually went with Royal Woods pageants. Lindsey's tap dance was spot on and even Lincoln had to admit that her speech about family values was incredible. It was almost too close to call. The middle Loud crossed his fingers, with his younger sister and her rival were bouncing on their toes from excitement. Even Lynn was on the edge of her seat from this. After a tense three minutes, the judges had finally declared their decision. The winner was...Lola Loud! Said pageant princess started screaming with glee, with a few of her newer competitors rushing over to congratulate her. Lindsey and most of the girls who knew Lola, on the other hand, simply sulked or glared daggers at the prissy twin. Lincoln smiled at his little sister with pride at her latest victory, their family in the audience cheering loudly. However, the men with the press badges looked to one another with a nod, muttered something into a bluetooth in one of their ears, then quietly departed without anyone being the wiser. After Lola gave her acceptance speech and the runner ups put up a show of good sportsmanship, she and Lincoln departed from the building, the little princess wearing a new tiara on her head and her brother carrying her new trophy. "Another day, another pageant victory." Lola half bragged as she headed toward Vanzilla, where their family was waiting.

"Yeah, but it was a close one, Lola." The one son informed her.

"Oh, she just got lucky." The golden haired tattletale said dismissively.

"Excuse me. Miss Loud." The two Loud children paused, looking toward the two men with the camera approaching them. "Can we get a quick picture for the Royal Woods Times?"

"But of course." Lola replied, smiling as she posed for the camera.

"Oh, come on, Lola…" Lynn complained as she watched her younger sister was holding up their return trip home.

"Just give her a moment, Junior." Rita told her, smiling lightly as she watched her little princess get her picture taken, her brother watching her like a hawk. However, he wasn't watching behind him, which is where a third man was stalking toward him.

"Huh? What's that guy doing?" The oldest of the Loud siblings inquired, pressing her face into the window. Their mother blinked as the rest of the Loud children present all looked out the window just in time to see the man grab Lincoln with one arm and cover his mouth with another. Lincoln gasped, which was muffled, dropping Lola's trophy. His family in the busted up van all screamed and his younger sister turned around just as the memento of her victory hit the pavement, to which the 'cameramen' took the chance to grab Lola. A black stretch limo pulled up right behind the imposter reporters just as security personnel came surging out of the building.

"Oh no you don't!" Rita yelled, going into full Momma Bear mode as they tried to force the two kids into the vehicle. She tried to turn on the van, but (of course) it didn't start. "You piece of junk!" She slapped the steering wheel before forcing her way out of her seat belt. However, by the time she had gotten out of the car, the limo was already driving off. "No! Get back here!" She screamed, running after the kidnapper's car, but it was quickly out pacing her. Seeing this was a futile attempt, she came to a stop and jumped to plan B. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" In a flash and a scattering of junk, the ghost with the most appeared, frowning while holding a hand of cards and wearing a green visor.

"What!? A royal flush again!? Where are you getting those cards!?"

"Beetlejuice!" The Loud mother yelled, causing the pranking poltergeist to drop all his cards. "...Were you teaching my daughters poker?"

"Teaching!? Those little hustlers were taking me to the cleaners...won all my cookies…" He griped. "And word of warning...don't play the baby. She is RUTHLESS." The Loud matriarch had so many questions right now, but she had more important things right now.

"Nevermind! Follow that car!" She instructed him, gesturing to the elongated car that was turning onto main street in the distance.

* * *

Inside the vehicle, the trio of phony reporters had just finished tying Lincoln and Lola up, under the watchful eye of the one the white haired boy believe to be their leader. A rather grotesque looking man with matted brown hair, a messy beard, a face like a bulldog, and a lazy eye. He was incredibly overweight and wore a suit that was as ugly as he was. The criminals had managed to gag Lincoln, but the hot tempered pageant participant was snapping and biting at anyone who dared try and get close to her. "Come on, you goons…" The fat man said in a growly, gravelly voice. "She's just a kid…"

"She may be a kid, but she's a little firebrand…" A tall, thin, balding man who had acted as a reporter said, nearly losing a finger to Lola.

"You just don't know how to handle them…" The boss said with a shake of his head. He leaned forward and grabbed Lola's cheeks with one hand, forcing her mouth open. "You have a pretty little face, little lady...it would be a shame if something happened to it...like if you were shoved from a moving car." The third youngest of the Loud sibling froze up in fear, her pupils shrank into pin prinks. "Good. We have an-" It was then that Lincoln kicked the arm of the bloated gang leader, glaring at him as the gangster glared right back. "Un gag him...I wanna hear his last words…"

"Get your hands off my sister, you-!" Lincoln managed to say the brief moment his mouth was uncovered.

"Sister? She's your sister?" The beastly man inquired in confusion, looking between the two. "I thought you were just her aide or something…" He leered at the two children for a moment before he nodded. "Very well. I understand family and respect your desire to protect your family...but do that again...I will break you." He growled to the one son, who nodded in fearful reply, the remaining criminals putting a cloth over the pageant princess' mouth. Just then, a police siren sounded right behind them. The four gangsters all looked back to see a single police motorcycle right behind the limo. The cycle sped around to the side of the car, the hideous brute lowering the window to look at the bike cop. He was wearing a helmet and visor over most of his face, but his pale skin and green teeth were a dead giveaway for Lincoln.

"Pull over!" The cop demanded.

"I am somewhat deaf in this ear." The dog faced man said, tapping his ear. "Get a little closer and speak up."

"I said-!" The officer started to say, but without missing a beat, the tubby leader of the kidnappers pulled a pistol from his inner jacket pocket and shot him right in the face. Lola screamed into her own gag as the cop lost control of his bike and skidded off away from them, crashing into the side of a closed flower shop. The limo drove off without even slowing down as the helmet flopped off of Beetlejuice's head. He had a dazed look on his face as he saw stars. "Officer down…." He groaned.

"And that, gentlemen, is how we handle problems efficiently." The boss said calmly and nonchalantly, putting his piece away.

"Nice one, boss. If only we could solve all problems like that…"

"He he he...we do."

* * *

Back at the convention hall where the pageant had been held, the police were getting statements from everyone who had been outside during the kidnapping, as well as building staff. Rita was frantically pacing back and forth, while Lynn Sr was crying hysterically while holding a sniffling Lily inside Vanzilla. Luna and Lori were trying their darnedest to hold Lynn back, who was ready to start chasing after the limo's 'trail' and take it, and the kidnappers, apart with her bare hands. Lucy, on the other hand, was staring out in the direction where the car was heading. At the peak of Mrs Louds' worries and stress levels, a finger tapped her on the shoulder, which nearly got the finger's owner smacked as she turned quickly. "Whoa. Careful, ma'am. I'm here to help." Beetlejuice said, stepping back and holding his arms up. He was wearing a tan trenchcoat and fedora and was speaking like a film noir detective.

"Beetlejuice? Are they safe!? Did you stop the kidnappers!?" She asked him, grabbing hold of of the collar of his coat.

"Sorry, ma'am. I lost them…"

"You lost them?...HOW COULD YOU LOSE THEM!?" She screamed, shaking the ghost and getting stares from everyone nearby.

"Hey! I got a slug to the face…" Beetlejuice informed her in his normal voice, offended as he lifted his hat to show a big, curled up gastropod right between his eyes. "...What's YOUR excuse!?" The two glared at each other, Rita's eyes filled with tears.

"Mom...I know your upset…" Lori said quietly as she went over to calm her down. "I'm sure Beetlejuice did his best though…" Her mother's mouth started to quiver as she slowly released BJ.

"Sorry, Beetlejuice…" She apologized, about one step away from breaking down into tears. "...but seeing my babies kidnapped right in front of me…"

"I understand, ma'am…" The filthy spirit said in his detective voice, noticing the police approaching out of the corner of his eye. "...but turning me into a human maraca won't help matters."

"Is this man bothering you, Mrs Loud?" One of the cops inquired.

"No, officer...he's actually trying to help…" The Loud Mother replied, fighting back tears.

"Detective Sham Shpade." BJ introduced himself to the police officers. "Private investigator. I've been on the trail of these kidnappers for some time now."

"Oh really…?" The man in blue said skeptically, crossing her arms. "Then perhaps you could describe the kidnappers?"

"Three men, dressed as reporters." The ghostly private eye answered in an almost robotic voice. "Made off with one eleven year old boy with white hair, orange shirt and blue jeans, and one six year old girl; long blonde hair, pink gown and a tiara. Boss is a morbidly fat man with a face even a mother couldn't love." When he said that last bit, the officer went pale, uncrossing his arms.

"A..Are you sure about that?"

"Sure as you're standing there asking me stupid questions." BJ spat with a frown.

"Do you know this guy?" Lori asked, a little frightened now.

"I'm sorry to say we do, miss…" The cop replied, looking like he was facing doomsday. "He's a big time criminal from the big city, commonly known as 'The Beast' because of his...beastly appearance and mannerisms." The four sisters present and Rita all looked at each other with panicked looks on their faces. And what they learned next made it all the worse. "He's known to kidnap things and people of beauty and hold them for ransom...probably his twisted idea of revenge for looking as ugly as he is...and he's a killer…" That was enough to cause Rita to fall into a faint. Fortunately, Lori was right there to catch her before she hit the pavement.

* * *

Rita was out until nearly midnight and, when she came to, she was laying on the couch in her own living room. Around her were her husband, her oldest daughter, and the ghost with the most himself. She groaned a bit as she tried to regain her senses. "Where...where am I?"

"Your home dear…"

"...Lincoln! Lola!" Rita screamed as she suddenly sat up.

"Mom! Calm down…" Lori said, putting her hands on her mother's shoulders. "The police are on the job...they'll find them…" Rita looked up at her daughter, her own eyes filling with tears as her lip quivered before she broke down into tears. Seeing this broke Lori and Lynn Sr's heart, and even BJ felt a slight twinge. Lori stepped back and took hold of the ghost's arm, moving him away from her distraught parents. "Beetlejuice, is there anything you can do?" She whispered.

"Sorry, kid. Just because I'm bound to Lincoln doesn't mean I can track him." He admitted quietly with a shrug. "Unless he or Lola call me, my hands are tied."

"What about Lisa?"

"Tried her. She said she couldn't see him on her tracker. Out of range." Lori sighed after hearing this.

"...what are we going to do now…?"

"Guess we just gotta play the waiting game...the game I hate playing…" Beetlejuice grumbled.

"If only we knew if they were alright…"

"They are." Lucy informed her quietly and suddenly, startling Lori enough to make her jump into BJ's arms.

"Lucy! You know I hate that…" Lori scolded her, her heart racing from the fright.

"Lori, please...what would Bobby say?" BJ joked, which earned him a slap in the face right before the oldest sister leaped out of his arms.

"As I was saying, Lincoln and Lola are ok." The gothic eight year old said again.

"How can you be so certain of that?" The authoritative teen inquired.

"I have consulted the spirits." Lucy responded, to which Lori thought 'of course'. "They are fine for now...and Lincoln is drawing closer to one who cares about him."

* * *

The limo drove on well into the night, long enough that Lincoln and Lola had fallen asleep in transit. Drove several miles, well into Great Lakes City. They came to a stop eventually in front of an old, borderline derelict apartment building complex. The gangsters hastily brought the kids into the building, after making sure the coast was clear, then motioned for the driver to ditch the limo. "A well executed job, boys." The Beast complimented as he waddled through the dusty, web infested halls of the complex. "I am pleased."

"Thanks, Boss." A man with slicked back hair, sunglasses and a goatee said, walking beside the bloated mobster with his hands behind his back. "Yah know, they're kinda cute when they aren't being obnoxious trying to escape."

"True, but do not get attached to them." The boss told him flatly. "They mean only one thing to us: money. We kidnap them, ransom them, then send them back. End of story."

"Right, Boss. Though...what happens if their folks don't pay?"

"Won't happen. We have two of their kids, not just one, with one being a successful pageant queen." He explained, opening the door to his own room, which was filled with brand new furniture and a wide screen television. "They will pay. Buuut, in the incredibly off chance they don't...we just get rid of them...but like I said. Won't happen. Now get lost. I'm tired." The slick haired kidnapper gulped and nodded, departing to give his boss some peace.

* * *

The next day, at the breakfast table of the Loud House, the mood was silent and somber, both of which was very unusual for the family. Lana especially seemed very melancholy at her twin and big brother being missing. Even Beetlejuice wasn't cracking jokes as he usually would, instead hovering by the radio with Mr and Mrs Loud. The silence was only broken by the crunch of cereal in the mouths of some of the kids, and the soft music on the radio. This all changed when: "We interrupt this program with a special bulletin." Thirteen heads all turned to the radio. "Last night, outside the Royal Woods Convention Center, two children were abducted in a brazen act of kidnapping. The children abducted were identified as local pageant winner, Lola Loud, and her brother, Lincoln Loud. Miss Loud was last seen in a glittering pink gown and a tiara from her most recent victory, and has long blonde hair, and Mr Loud was last seen in an orange collared shirt and blue jeans, with hair as white as snow."

"Well,at least the news is out…" Leni commented optimistically, only to be shushed by her family.

"It is firmly believed that the children were kidnapped by the big time crime boss, Johnny 'The Beast' Talmane; a gangster with a perchance for making off with things of beauty. No clues of his whereabouts are currently known, though it is suspected he has a hideout somewhere in Great Lakes City." Hearing that struck a chord with Lori. That's where Ronnie Anne and Bobby lived! She hastily turned to Lucy, remembering what the pale little girl had said the other night. "If you have any information pertaining to the location of the children or 'The Beast', contact your local police immediately. Do not attempt to confront if spotted. Johnny Talmane and his men are to be considered armed and extremely dangerous."

"Great Lakes City? Isn't that where Ronnie Anne is?" Lana asked, looking to Lori.

"It is...but more importantly, it's at least a place to start." The oldest of the Loud siblings turned to the suit wearing specter. "How soon can you get there and start looking?"

"In an instant!" BJ replied enthusiastically. "...but first, I need to get a few things…" He was about to levitate upstairs when Lisa coughed slightly.

"If...you're going for what I think you are, I think it's only fair to warn you it's...currently non-functional." Lisa admitted, looking kinda guilty about something. All of her sisters and Beetlejuice slowly glare at her. "I...was attempting to boost the signal in order to aid in finding our displaced siblings, but it refused to cooperate and, I admit, I lost my temper…" The ghastly ghost face palmed when he heard this, Lana about one step away from smacking her little sister.

"O...k. Hard way it is." BJ said through clenched teeth just before he disappeared.

* * *

Back in Great Lakes City, in the Santiago household, breakfast had just finished and everyone was getting ready for their day. Maria, Carlos and Frida were all getting ready for work, Carlota, Carlos Jr and Carlino were all getting ready for school, and Hector was briefing Bobby on some new duties he would be responsible for in the bodega. Ronnie Anne, who was pretty much already ready to go, took the opportunity to fill Lalo's food and water bowl. The massive dog licked her face to show his appreciation. "Hahaha. You're welcome." She replied before she wiped the dog drool from her cheek. She grabbed her skateboard and was about to say goodbye to her grandmother Rosa and baby cousin Carlios, who were watching tv, when she heard it.

"We interrupt this program with a breaking news bulletin." This made the tough girl pause and look at the tv screen. "Last night, outside the Royal Woods Convention Center, two children were abducted in a brazen act of kidnapping. The children abducted were identified as local pageant winner, Lola Loud, and her brother, Lincoln Loud."

"WHAT!?" Ronnie Anne practically materialized in front of the television, unable to believe what she just heard..

"Goodness!" Rosa exclaimed in horror. Their cries quickly brought the rest of the family to the living room to see what was going on.

"Miss Loud was last seen in a glittering pink gown and a tiara from her most recent victory, and has long blonde hair, and Mr Loud was last seen in an orange collared shirt and blue jeans, with hair as white as snow. It is firmly believed that the children were kidnapped by the big time crime boss, Johnny 'The Beast' Talmane; a gangster with a perchance for making off with things of beauty. No clues of his whereabouts are currently known, though it is suspected he has a hideout somewhere in Great Lakes City. If you have any information pertaining to the location of the children or 'The Beast', contact your local police immediately. Do not attempt to confront if spotted. Johnny Talmane and his men are to be considered armed and extremely dangerous."

"Oh no…" A very concerned Maria said. "Those poor children…"

"Not to mention their family...Rita and Lynn are probably beside themselves…" Hector commented, sadly shaking his head.

"We need to do something…" Ronnie Anne said, her hands clenched into fists and the start of tears in her eyes.

"But what can we do?" Carlos inquired. "We don't know where they are, and even if we did, Johnny Talmane is dangerous…"

"He sounds like a bad man." Carlos Jr injected, his usual smile gone.

"That's putting it mildly…" Ronnie and Bobbie's mother stated.

"I'm going to go look for them…" The streetwise girl said firmly as she made a move for the door.

"No you're not!" Her mother replied just as firmly. RA stopped en route to the passage out and frowned at her. "...Nie Nie, I know you're worried about Lincoln and Lola...we are too. But there is nothing we can do. This is a matter for the police. Besides, you have to go to school…" Ronnie Anne was ready to fight this tooth and nail, but she realized this was a losing battle. However, she wasn't about to lose the war.

"...you're right, Mom…" The latina said, looking and sounding down and defeated as she grabbed her backpack. "...see all you after school…"

"...Are you sure you don't want a ride? I can drop you off on the way to the hospital."

"...no thanks, Mom...bye." She replied as she opened the door and departed quietly. Once she was outside, however, she smirked a bit. She had no intention of just giving up; simply changing her strategy. But first, school. It'd be one thing to get caught doing detective work on her own, but if she were caught skipping school at the same time and she'd be grounded for life. So she climbed aboard her skateboard and rocketed off toward her elementary school, making sure at least one member of her family saw her headed in the right direction.

* * *

A few miles away, Lola was starting to awaken from a very uncomfortable sleep. She tried to move, but found she couldn't budge an inch. Her eyes opened suddenly, a squeak of fright getting muffled by the cloth over her mouth. She had almost forgotten about her predicament in her tired state, but now that she was awake, it was all coming back to her. She took in her surroundings for a moment and did not like what she saw. The room was disgusting, covered in dust, dirt and the odd bit of old food. The rug was covered in cigarette or cigar burns. The only pieces of furniture in there were the chairs she and Lincoln were currently seated in. Both were still tied up, but not to the chairs strangely enough. Speaking of her brother, it looked like he was already awake and trying to chew through his gag. He thought he could get them out of there in no time if he could just summon Beetlejuice, however, he couldn't unless he could say the words. And unfortunately for both of them, these rags were tougher than they looked. Just when he was ready to consider a new plan, one of their kidnappers (the bald one) had entered the room with a bowl of scrambled eggs.

"Oh good. Yer both awake. Hope ya like eggs." He declared as he strolled over to them. Normally, they did, but these eggs looked gray and disgusting, like they had been overcooked. "Now, I gotta ungag you to feed you...but if you scream, no eggs for you." Lola rolled her eyes a bit, but Lincoln gave her a little signal with his fingers: play along. She sighed and nodded. "Good girl." The gangly gangster said as he cautiously removed her mouth covering. She didn't scream, nor did she bite him. "Very good...now... here comes the airplane. Open up the hanger!" He said in a tone that suggested he were speaking to a toddler, scooping up a healthy dose of eggs and moving it toward Lola's mouth. She just stared at him with an unamused look.

"I'm six….not two." She said in a deadpan tone. That brief moment her mouth was open, he took advantage of to shove the spoon inside it. Lola's face turned kind of green as she nearly gagged on the eggs. "Ugh! That was disgusting! Have you even heard of salt!?" She berated him before he quickly covered her mouth again.

"Sheesh. Some kids don't appreciate what you do for them…" The crook grumbled as he moved to Lincoln. "Maybe you'll appreciate these more." He said, removing Lincoln's gag.

"Just no airplane…"

"I wasn't going to…" The bald man said, offended. "...here comes the choo choo." Lola couldn't help but snicker at the sour look on her brother's face as he opened his mouth. The moment the eggs touched Lincoln's tongue, he spit them right out.

"Aaagh! That was revolting! It tastes like Beetlejuice!" Lincoln exclaimed in disgust. Lola's eyes widened, realizing what her brother was trying to do.

"Tastes like what!?"

"Beetlejuice! You know, B-" Before he could say it for the third time, the wad of cloth was shoved back into his mouth.

"Ungrateful brats!" He snapped, tossing the bowl into a corner and storming out of the room.

"Nice try, Linky…" Lola tried to tell him through her gag.

* * *

School couldn't have ended soon enough for Ronnie Anne. The whole time, her mind was on what could be happening to her close friend and his sister. The longer she thought about it, the more she just wanted to get out there and look for them. Now that it was over, however, she could make her move. She pulled out her phone and sent a text to her mother, telling her that she was going to the library to work on a project. 'That should buy me a few hours…' She thought with a grin. 'Now...where do I start?' She pondered as she rolled along on her skateboard. 'I can think of a few places around here where crooks would hide...but where would a big time mobster like The Beast hang his hat?' While she wracked her brain about this conundrum, she nearly skated right into a man in a trenchcoat and fedora. Fortunately, she had the reflexes and skill to stop before they could collide. He had his back to her, so she couldn't see his face. "Whoa! Sorry about that." The man turned to look at her, with his pale face and positively filthy hair.

"And what would interrupt my musings but a kid. A little skaterat, going about like she ain't got a care in the world. What I wouldn't give for that life…" Came a voice from seemingly nowhere, like a film noir detective.

"Where's that coming from?" She asked, her eyes scanning the area.

"Nevermind that, kid." The man responded in the same voice she heard seconds ago, waving her off. "Go 'way, ya bother me." Ronnie Anne frowned at him indignantly.

"Hmph. Well, excuse me for trying to apologize, jerk." She snapped, rolling around him.

"With that distraction out of the way…" The man in the coat and hat started to say, without his lips moving. "...I could put my focus back on why I'm even here...Lincoln and Lola." SCREEEECH! Ronnie Anne skidded to a stop when she heard those names.

"What did you say!?"

"Nothing you need to worry about, kid…"

"Did you say Lincoln? As in, Lincoln Loud!?" The latina inquired, turning back around to face this mystery man, who turned to meet her gaze.

"You know him?"

"Yes. I'm his friend, Ronnie Anne."

"Ronnie...Oh yeah!" Beetlejuice suddenly said in his normal voice, a grin appearing on his face. "I heard about you from ol' Rusty and Mr President himself." The city girl blinked at this change of voice and personality.

"Uh...you know Lincoln and Rusty?"

"Yep. And the whole Loud clan." He explained with a smirk, rubbing his fingers against his coat, like it were something to brag about. "In fact, that's why I'm here. The news hinted ol' lardo is hiding out around here somewhere. I find him, I find Linc and Lo." He continued, back to his detective persona. "But I'm like a rat in a maze here, and there's no cheese in sight."

"Sounds to me like you could use some help from someone who knows the city like the back of her hand." Ronnie Anne said with a smirk, one hand on hip.

"The kid had a point." BJ said, using the noir voice without moving his lips again. "I was getting nowhere fast here, but this was her stomping ground. Plus, she knew Mr President already."

"Ok, how do you do that? And who even are you?"

"First, practice. And second, names Shpade. Sham Shpade." The ghost explained, as there were quite a few people nearby and he needed to keep up his cover.

"Sam Spade?"

"No. Sham Shpade." Ronnie Anne just stared at him for a moment, but shook her head and started to skate alongside him as he walked along the sidewalk. "So, where shall we start our little rat hunt?"

"Well, I know of a few places where a criminal could hide in the city…" She started to tell him, looking kind of pensive. "But these areas are kinda spread out...and it would take forever to check them all."

"Well. I do have one clue…" BJ said quietly as he stroked his chin. "Earlier this morning, after I arrived, I heard my name being called. Twice. Couldn't quite pin-point exactly where, but I suspect it was somewhere around this neck of the woods."

"You heard your name? Then it couldn't have been far. And there are two places not far from here...follow me." She sped off again, Beetlejuice floating after her. Fortunately, the city folk were paying him no mind, too busy with their own lives to really notice.

* * *

Back in the nearly condemned building, Lincoln was putting his latest plan into action. He had tried a few things earlier; trying to worm his way over to a shard to glass to cut his bindings (which made the goons clean up the mess), and attempting to sneak out when the mook with the goatee brought them lunch (to which he got caught by his bald headed buddy waiting outside, then tied directly to the chair). His latest idea involved him bouncing his chair over behind Lola and started to untie her gag from behind. It took some time and effort and made a lot of noise, but he managed to shift behind her and remove the cloth around her mouth with his few free fingers. "Whew...good work, Lincoln." She whispered to him. "So what now? I scream for help?" The one son shook his head.

"No. Call Beetlejuice quietly." He instructed her, though it was difficult with his mouth covered.

"What? No. I am not calling that creep." She responded flatly. Her brother gave her a 'seriously!?' look. "Don't give me that look...We can get out of this."

"Lola, we don't have time to argue about this! Just call him and we can get out of here and go home."

"You call him."

"I can't!"

"Then get over here. I'll get that off of you." Lincoln sighed in frustration, but knew he probably wasn't going to convince her otherwise. He started to turn himself around, but before she could even try, the two mobsters from earlier came bursting into the room.

"What's all the noise in here!?" The tall, bald one yelled. Upon seeing them, his face turned red. He stormed over to the middle Loud and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "You again!? I'm getting a little tired of you causing all this trouble for us!" Lincoln's eyes widened as the hairless crook got right in his face, sweat trickling down the boy's face.

"No! Leave him-" Lola started to scream, but the second kidnapper clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Hey there. Cool it, buddy…" His partner in sunglasses said as he regagged Lola.

"Don't tell me to cool it! This little punk has been irking me all day! All the noise! Numerous attempts to get away! Had the nerve to say my famous eggs tasted like beetle juice!" Lincoln's terror momentarily switched off when he heard the goon say that and he saw an opportunity.

"Hmmm?" He turned one ear toward the raging felon, as if he didn't hear him the first time.

"Beetle juice! I mean, how insulting can you get!? Be-!"

"Slow down there, partner!" The mobster in the goatee said calmly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "He's just a kid. This is how kids are."

"What do you know!? You don't have kids!?"

"Neither do you. But I do have a niece." He patted the furious criminal on the back. "Trust me. I know kids. I'll deal with this."

"...fine." The thin, bald man said, releasing the white haired boy.

"Right then. Come on, sport. Let's chit chat." The man who uses too much hair gel picked up Lincoln by the chair and started to take him out of the room. Lola started to scream into her mouth covering, demanding/pleading for them to leave him alone. "Don't you worry, Princess. We'll be back for your big film debut later."

'Film debut?' She wondered for a brief moment, before the two men left the room with Lincoln, the door slammed behind them. Then her thoughts turned right back to her brother. What were they going to do to her brother? Was he going to be ok? Why didn't she call Beetlejuice when she had the chance? Well, ok, that answer was obvious. She hated him with a passion. But was this grudge she had against him really worth the well being of her brother? Was it already too late? Tears started to fill her eyes as she slumped in her seat. Meanwhile, Lincoln was being brought into a separate room, which had only a small end table and nothing else inside it.

"Ok, kid. I get it. You're getting fussy. Probably over tired, right?" The gangster said as he set the boy in his chair beside the end table. He then looked the agitated Lincoln right in the face, with the young man glaring back at him. "Right. Well, I know how to deal with that…" He grinned to Lincoln as he reached into his coat, where most gangsters kept their guns. The one son gulped, shrinking back from the criminal.

* * *

Back outside, Ronnie Anne and Beetlejuice were beginning their investigation of an old, run down commercial district. Failed businesses and abandoned shops as far as the eye could see. The two of them set up shop on top of an old convenience store, scanning the area for any sign of fishy business. "This place reminds me of home." The goofing ghoul commented as he surveyed the street below through binoculars.

"Really? Your home must have been a dump…" The latina girl said, looking away from her own spyglass.

"Yeah...a positive pig sty." BJ said wistfully, sighing a little. This earned him an odd look from Ronnie Anne.

"So...how exactly did you meet Lincoln?"

"Well, it was a month or two ago...I was hanging with my best friend, Lydia…"

'Lydia? Where have I heard that name before?' RA wondered for a moment.

"She was chatting it up with little Lucy Loud...so, I decided to play a little prank. I lured Lyds away and sent the little poet to be the way to summon me." The ghost with the most explained, grinning at the memory.

"...you gave an eight year old your phone number..?" Ronnie Anne started to edge away from him now.

"You mean Lincoln never told you? Some friend he is…" Beetlejuice half scoffed with a smirk.

"What do you…?"

"Names Beetlejuice, kid. I'm a ghost." She just stared at him for a moment, her mouth agape. "Well, not just any ghost. The GHOST with the-"

"I can't believe I listened to you!" Ronnie Anne shouted in outrage, nearly tossing her binoculars away. "I could have been looking for Lincoln, but instead, I'm wasting my time with an absolute nutcase who thinks he's a ghost!" She turned to head back to the fire escape, but BJ was already there, in his usual striped suit and looking very peeved.

"Who are ya calling a nutcase!?" He demanded to know, his head turning into a crate full of walnuts. This sudden change, as well as his sudden appearance, startled her so much that she ended up falling over backwards.

"Wha!? How did-!?"

"It's like I told ya, kid! I'm the ghost with the MOST!" BJ laughed for a brief period as Ronnie Anne looked positively petrified. "Ah, relax kid. I ain't gonna hurt you. You're friends with Linc, after all."

"But...how!?"

"Well, if you'll let me continue my story…" He said in mock irritation before he continued, the young lady taking the opportunity to get back up. "...I sent Lucy the spell to summon me. She said my name three times and invited me into their house. I had some fun there, but they didn't appreciate my idea of fun."

"And your idea of fun is…?"

"Messing with folks, of course. Specially Lincoln. His reactions were, and are, PRICELESS." Ronnie Anne couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"Yeah. His reactions to being pranked are pretty funny." She admitted with a smirk. "Like this one time, I had him wait days for a package to arrive, and when it did, I asked him to check it to make sure it was mine. He opened the box and SPLAT! One pie, right to the face." Recalling the memory made her laugh a little, right along with Beetlejuice.

"Not bad, Ronnie Anne. Anyway, Lucy tried to exorcise me, but just when she was about to succeed, her brother got in the way. As a result, me and Mr President became spiritually bound."

"...meaning?"

"Until little miss Brainiac can find a way to split us, I'm taking up residence in Lincoln's head, unless he sees fit to let me out." Beetlejuice explained. "Kind of a shame he left me home that night...coulda juiced those guys before they even crossed the street." Just then, the ghost froze in place and placed a hand to his ear.

"What's the-?"

"Sssshhh...I heard my name." He whispered before he got a big grin. "That's two...come on….AH NUTS!" He snapped, stamping his foot as a rain of cashews started to pour on him. "So close again!"

"What does it matter if your name is called more than twice?" RA asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Because saying my name three times is like inviting me into your home! It causes me to appear! But they aren't saying it three times!" Beetlejuice looked on the verge of a rant or tantrum.

"Whoa! Slow down there, Beetlejuice…" Ronnie said, gesturing him to calm down before frowning a little. "Sounds really weird saying it out loud."

"Says the girl named Ronnie Anne…"

"Shut it." She snapped at him before returning to her previous train of thought. "You said you heard your name...did it sound any closer than it did before?" The grumpy ghast was quiet for a moment as he considered this, then shook his head. "Then logically, it means they aren't around here, leaving one place left to check."

"Hey...you're right!" BJ's face instantly lit back up, literally. "Lead the way, kid!"

* * *

It had been nearly forty five minutes since Lincoln had been taken away, and each moment was making Lola more sorrowful, and a lot more vengeful. However, she was still wrapped in rope and couldn't get any words out. She'd get her chance, though, and she knew it. And for their sake, they better not have hurt her brother. As she plotted her many revenges, the bald headed man with the short temper from earlier returned, along with a man Lola hadn't seen yet. He was short, with his face mostly covered in dark gray beard and moustache, and carrying a video camera. "Alrighty there, little lady." The taller of the two said, looking much calmer. "It's time to film your ransom video."

'Ransom video!?'

"Ok, little miss. Here's your motivation." The hairy munchkin started to explain as he set up the camera. "You're desperate. You want your mommy and daddy. The only way that will happen is if they pay. Get them to realize this. Can you do that?" If looks could bruise, the one Lola was giving them would have put them in traction. That said, she realized this may be her chance, so she nodded regardless. "I knew you could. Now then...lights."

"They're as good as they're gonna get. Get on with it!" His taller partner snapped.

"Hmph. No respect…" The bearded gangster grumbled as he turned on the camera. "Showtime, kid." He added, removing the cloth covering her mouth.

"...you're not kidding…" Lola growled.

"Though I really hate his face,

He will put you in your place.

To save my brother, I call a truce.

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice….BEETLEJUICE!" She screamed that last mention of the ghost's name at the top of her lungs, causing the two gangsters to cover their ears and cringe from the volume.

"Gah! That's not what you're supposed to say, you little brat!"

"I quite agree! CUT!" The two mobsters were shoved aside as Beetlejuice pushed himself past them, dressed as a pretentious film director. "And here I thought I was working with professionals!"

"Hey...who are you!?" The tall, thin kidnapper inquired in confusion.

"Surely you jest! EVERYONE in the industry knows the famed director Marcel Beetleton." The two men before the ghoul just looked to one another as Ronnie Anne shoved her way past them, wearing a woman's business dress and carrying a manuscript. "Miss Anne-"

"-The script, Mr Beetleton." She finished his thought in a snooty tone, handing the papers to him.

"Thank you, Miss Anne." He turned to the perplexed gangsters, gesturing a thumb at Ronnie Anne. "Best aide in the business. It's like she can read my mind. Ahem. Now, let's take it from the top, boyos." He shoved the book of scenes into the hands of the short man with the bushy beard.

"What's it say?" His taller associate asked, leaning in to read over his shoulder.

"It says the two goons read the script as the hero grabs them by the head and bashes them together, making the sound of two coconuts clapping together…" The smaller mook read aloud.

"Oh...who are the two goons?"

"Take a wild guess!" BJ shouted as he grabbed the duo by the sides of their heads and slammed them together. The sound of the collison sounded like an empty barrel. "Oh, come on! I said coconuts, not a barrel!" The ghost with the most complained as the criminals fell to the ground, out cold. "I can't work like this!"

"How are you holding up, Lola?" Ronnie Anne asked as she started untying the pageant princess.

"I'm not hurt...but what are you doing here, Ronnie Anne?" The six year old asked as the ropes fell, the prissy twin hugging her young savior.

"You're in Great Lakes City, Lo. And when I heard you and Lincoln were in trouble…"

"Say...where is the kid?" BJ asked, noticing the distinct lack of the white haired boy in the room.

"They took him away! I think they're punishing him for trying to get us out of here!" The third youngest of the Louds frantically told them. "We have to find him!"

"Beetlejuice, think you can handle that while I get Lola out of here?" RA asked the spirit as he turned back into Sham Shpade.

"Oh no! I am not leaving without Lincoln!" Lola said firmly, shaking her head.

"Lola, don't argue with me. It's much too dangerous for us here."

"Then don't argue with ME and let's go find Lincoln!"

"Am I interrupting…?" Came a gruff, angry voice from the door. In lumbered the mob boss known as 'The Beast', an angry sneer on his face.

"Uh oh…" The pageant princess and city girl said together.

"...and while I'm on the subject, who do you think you are, getting into my business!?" The oversized, dog faced man growled, stomping closer to BJ.

"Who do I think I am? Who do YOU think you are!? Shamu!?" The ghost with the most demanded to know, jabbing him in the blubbery chest.

"I am Johnny Talmane, the biggest crime boss in this state!" He bellowed into Beetlejuice's face. The ghostly detective slowly looked down at the gangster's rotund middle, then at his ugly mug.

"No kidding."

"You come into MY home, try and steal MY meal tickets, and insult me!? I feel transgressed and violated." The bloated brute growled, cracking his knuckles. "You're about to find out why I'm called 'The Beast'!"

"The Beast? You don't look a thing like him!" BJ scoffed, snapping his fingers. The obese gangster suddenly found himself in in a royal blue noble's coat and pants with gold trim, a buttercup yellow vest and a clean white cravet. "There we go. Much better."

"You dare mock-huh?" The Beast blinked as Beetlejuice pulled out a mirror, showing him his reflection. "Hey...is that me?"

"Darn right. And for once, the mirror ain't breaking."

"Well, it is a definite improvement…" Lola commented with a nervous smile.

"Hellllooo." Johnny said, smirking as he looked himself over. "I don't think I ever looked so good." While he was busy doting over his appearance, Ronnie Anne and Lola quickly snuck out of the room to go look for Lincoln.

"Now...if I were a pack of kidnappers...where would I stash someone for a time out?" Ronnie Anne mused quietly as she and the little spoiled brat slunk through the halls.

"He could be anywhere…" Lola said in a sad, hushed voice. "This is all my fault…"

"No, it's not...no one could have predicted that these guys would try and kidnap-" The latina girl tried to say in order to comfort the golden haired little girl.

"I mean them taking Lincoln away! I had a chance to call Beetlejuice, but I wouldn't take it...and they took him…"

"Oh...well, I'm sure-" This time, RA stopped herself from speaking, holding a hand out to stop Lola and pull her behind a potted plant. Up ahead, the minion with the slick hair was speaking to another mobster they hadn't seen yet.

"Hmmm. Not a peep. Guess he finally settled down." The goon in the goatee said with a contented nod.

"Not bad. How'd you manage it?"

"I just sat him down and started up the same video I show my niece whenever she gets too wound up."

"Isn't your niece two?"

"Like it matters? It got him to quiet down."

"Hmmm..I guess you're right." The two of them continued their little chat as they meandered down the hall. The children glanced to one another before nodding silently and creeping over to said door. A quick test of the door confirmed Ronnie Anne's suspicions.

"Locked…" She grumbled, looking to Lola. "Don't suppose you know anything about picking locks?"

"Nope...that's Leni department." Lola said, shaking her head.

"Really? Huh. Learn something new every day…doesn't really help our situation though."

"How about a skeleton key?" Beetlejuice offered out of nowhere, holding the bone key between the two kids.

"That'll work. Thanks Beetle-wait. Weren't you keeping the big cheese busy?"

"I got The Beast primping his mane. He'll be at that all day." BJ elaborated with a snicker. "Now hurry up." The dark haired city girl nodded, hastily unlocking the door. The three of them rush inside, finding Lincoln still tied to his chair and looking none too good. His eyes were twitching and filled with tears. He had a pair of headphones over his ears, with a cellular phone on the floor connected to it. "Whoa...Linc looks like he ran through a hall of Redead…" The ghost commented, waving a hand in front of Lincoln's face and getting no reaction.

"Lincoln! Are you alright?" Ronnie Anne asked, running over to her friend's side, while Lola investigated the phone. One look at the screen made her gasp in horror.

"Oh no...poor Linky…"

"Whatcha got there, princess?" BJ asked, looking over her shoulder as Ronnie Anne worked on the ropes and pulled off the headphones. All that was on the screen was a video of a little toy fox doing a little robotic dance, while the speakers played:

Cheer up baby. Don't you cry

No more tears. It's cheer up time.

Laugh with me and we will be

Happy Happy Happy.

"EEEEEEEYUK!" Beetlejuice nearly lost his lunch in disgust upon hearing that.

"Oh, come on. It's not that bad." Ronnie Anne commented with a soft chuckle.

"...Not that bad? YOU try listening to it day in and day out for DAYS non stop!" Lola shrieked, her face turning red with anger as she grabbed RA by her hoodie and shook her like a rattle.

"Whoa whoa! Ok! I get it!" Roonie Anne exclaimed as she pulled herself free from the little hothead. "...yeah, that could get under someone's skin."

"Tell me about it…" BJ interjected, rolling up his sleeve to show the skin on his arms squirming about. "This stuff would be considered cruel and unusual punishment, even in the Neitherworld." He pulled out a large mallet and slammed it down hard upon the phone. "Must have chosen the flat rate."

"What was that Fenton?" Lola asked with a big grin, bringing her ear closer to the shattered remains of the phone. "I can't hear you. You're breaking up."

"Hahaha! Not bad, kid." The grimy ghoul said.

"Lincoln? Can you hear me?" The street smart young lady asked as she gently shook the white haired lad. "Come on...snap out of it." She lightly smacked his face, which seemed to snap him back to reality.

"Huh? What's going on? Where am I?...where's Fenton?" He asked as he tried to reorient his senses.

"He's gone all to pieces." His little sister explained, pointing to the mess on the floor before shuddering. "...now he's got me doing it."

"I think Luan may have had a hand in that, too." Beetlejuice commented. "Though I'd love to take credit."

"Lola…? You're ok? And Ronnie Anne? What are you doing here?" The one son inquired, his eye still twitching.

"You're in the city, lame-o, and we've come to get you out of here."

"And I'm alright, Linky. Come on." The concerned little girl helped pick her brother off the chair, with RA's help. "We're going home."

"Yeah. This is a nice place to visit, but there are a few too many pests around here." BJ said, before proudly pointing to himself. "Me included."

""Beetlejuice…?" The white haired boy asked, turning his head to see his possessor standing there. After a second or two, his face hardened and he stood up straight. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!"

"Huh!?" The spirited specter suddenly disappeared, his voice then coming from Lincoln. "Hey! What gives!?"

"Lincoln!? What are you doing!?" Ronnie Anne asked incredulously.

"...ensuring he doesn't bother us anymore." He answered firmly. "Beetlejuice, give me your power."

"Whoa there, Mr President...are you planning to use my power for simple revenge?"

"Yes…"

"...sniff...I am SO proud." Beetlejuice said, smiling broadly inside the boy's head. "So, you think about 10%?"

"40%"

"What? That's overkill, kid. How about 20%?"

"Lola...what are they talking about?" A very lost latina asked, looking at the six year old and the young boy and the ghost possessing him haggled. Lola looked just as out of the loop as she was.

"...I have no idea."

"30%!" The two finally said together. "Deal!" Once the two finally came to an understanding, the one son started to levitate into the air as wind somehow started to be kicked up around him. His hair turned a lighter color of Beetlejuice's, his clothes became striped and his buck teeth turned green. It was at this point The Beast, looking almost presentable, came storming in.

"What's going...on?" Mr Talmane asked in shock.

"Your guess is as good as mine…" Ronnie Anne said, right before she took Lola's hand and took cover behind the end table with her.

"Who the hell are you and what'd you do to the kid!?"

"To answer your second question, I AM that kid." Lincoln said seriously as he slowly turned to face the tub of lard. "And for your first...I am the embodiment of your worst nightmares..."

"Oh! I'm using that." Beetlejuice piped up through Lincoln's mouth.

"...I am LINCOLNJUICE!" The spectrally enhanced boy declared, glaring daggers at The Beast.

"That...is the dumbest name I ever heard…" Lola criticized quietly, only to be shushed by Ronnie Anne.

"Lincolnjuice, eh? Not the name I'd want on my tombstone…" The fat mob boss said as he drew a pistol from his jacket. The girls gasped at the sight, but Lincolnjuice just smirked in an evil manner.

"What are you planning to do with that peashooter?" He inquired, gesturing his hand at the weapon. A surge of magic shot from his fingers, covertly fiddling with the weapon.

"Put a hole right between your eyes if you don't shut up and get back in your chair."

"I. Dare. You. To. Try."

"Lincoln! Don't antagonize him!" RA cried out.

"Should listen to your girlfriend, kid...not that it matters now." He raised his gun to head level with Lincolnjuice. Lola screamed as the gun fired...and a pea splattered right on the ghost infused child's forehead. Everyone other than the boy was utterly confused, Johnny firing a few more shots at him. Each time, only peas came out. His jaw dropped as he looked at his firearm in disbelief. Lincolnjuice simply placed a hand on his forehead and slowly wiped the vegetable remains, and his smirk, off his face, leaving a scowl on his own face.

"Now it's my turn...to blow you away!" He thrust his hand out, which turned into a powerful fan. The bloated gangster was caught off guard by the sudden hurricane force wind being unleashed by the young man and ended up falling backwards, sort of cartwheeling back and through the wall of the room opposite. Lincolnjuice then flew right after him, Ronnie Anne and Lola's mouths hanging open.

"Ugh...what happened?" The Beast groaned, rubbing his head.

"You got caught in an ill wind, which blows you no good." LJ said as he floated into the room, though the hole his lard filled opponent created.

"H...How are you doing that!?" The panicked mobster inquired, scrambling away from the possessed child.

"I think you have MUCH bigger problems to worry about…"

"H...Hey now, kid...what's eating you?" The Beast was starting to sweat more the closer LincolnJuice got to him. The moment he said that, however, the ghostly child stopped in mid air, smirking.

"Say...there's an idea. What's eating YOU!?" LJ pointed a single finger at the overstuffed crime lord and, with a flick of the wrist, levitated him right off the ground. "Huh. Easier than I thought. Something about that seems…" He snapped the fingers on his other hand, creating a large tank of large toothed piranha. "...fishy." The portly felon's eyes were as large as his dinner plates as he saw the fanged fish leaping from the water and snapping at him.

"Hey! You can't do this to me!" The Beast wailed.

"Funny. Seems really easy to me." LincolnJuice said, keeping a finger on the blubbery boss.

"Hahahaha. Nice work there, kid." BJ said through the empowered boy's mouth.

"Thanks. I'm feeling pretty good about it." Lincoln responded.

"So...when are ya gonna let the guy down?"

"Oh, in a moment…" He started to lower his hand, which lowered the obese mobster closer to the tank.

"Hey! What're ya doing, kid!? He's gonna go into the piranha infested water!"

"You're point is…?"

"Normally, I wouldn't care, but if he bites it with MY magic involved, I'm gonna get blamed for it!"

"Sounds like it's not my problem."

"He's not serious…" Ronnie Anne asked quietly, watching the scene unfold from the hole in the wall. "He can't be serious…"

"He's not really going to hurt that bad man, is he?" Lola asked in a very concerned voice.

"No...no." Lincoln's friend from the city said, trying to calm the little girl.

"HELP!" Beetlejuice screamed using Lincoln's mouth. "Someone stop this kid before he does something I'll pay for later!"

"But...just to be safe, I should probably butt in…" Ronnie Anne said. "Stay put, Lo." The headstrong lass ran into the room and over to her empowered friend. "Lincoln!"

"Just a second, Ronnie Anne. Just need to feed my fish." He responded, not taking his eyes off the jumbo sized gangster.

"Lincoln, I think he gets the point! He won't bother any of us again, right Mr Talmane?" The Beast nodded his head as quick as he could, sending his jowls into a jello-like quiver. "See?"

"Not good enough!" The one son snapped, startling his friend. He had never spoken to her like that before.

"Listen to me, Lame-o. Don't you think this is kind of extreme?"

"Not really. He tried to shoot me, threatened Lola and me, kidnapped us...subjected me to nearly an hour of Fenton Fox…"

"...but it's not worth throwing him to the piranha…"

"It wasn't even him that did it!" Lola yelled from her hiding place.

"He's the boss, so he's responsible for his men. It stands to reason."

"Speaking of reason, looks like that isn't working…" Ronnie Anne cracked her knuckles, a determined look on her face. "Sorry, Linc, but this is for your own good." She jumps for him, but her way is barred by gilded bars. "Ouch!" She exclaimed as she fell back onto her backside, rubbing her face. She then realized that she had been trapped in a cage.

"I'm sorry, Ronnie Anne. I know you can be cagey, but I got a job to finish." LincolnJuice chuckled as he returned his attention to the criminal that was 90% body fat hovering just barely out of carnivorous fish reach. "Now then...where were we…"

"LINCOLN!" The fusion of Lincoln and Beetlejuice sighed in frustration as Lola came stomping up to him, in full bossy mode. "You put those mean fishies away and put the bad man down, or I'm telling Mom!"

"Tell Mom what!? That I kept him from ever attempting to kidnap you ever again?" He snarked, glaring at his little sister.

"Linky, I'm going to count to three…" Lola growled, getting face to face with LincolnJuice. "And if you don't cut it out, I'll…"

"You'll WHAT!?" He roared in her face. The prissy twin was a little shaken at the way Lincoln was yelling at her, but she wouldn't show him such weakness. She sneered at him to try and intimidate him. However, he countered by baring incredibly long, razor sharp fangs. The pageant princess went pale at the sight. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Lola screamed in fright, falling onto her back and covering her eyes in dramatic fashion as she trembled. The haunted child growled as he looked down at her, but then his furious look changed to one of deepest worry. Was he really causing her this much fright? He thrust his hand to the left, conjuring a mirror so he could get a good look at himself. One look at his monstrous appearance made him recoil in horror. He stepped back from his own reflection, back into the cage hold Ronnie Anne. He turned again, gaping at his friend as she tried to force the door open. It was then The Beast screamed, one of the piranha having just taken a chunk out of his pants.

"...what am I doing?" LincolnJuice asked out loud, looking at his own hands. He closed his eyes tightly as he banished everything he had conjured and released Johnny Talmane from his spell. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" The one son cried out, physically returning to normal as the ghost with the most reappeared in the room.

"Whew…That was too close for comfort…" BJ said, wiping his brow. Hearing his voice made the shivering six year old uncover her eyes enough to see Lincoln sitting on the floor, his arms around his knees and shaking almost as much as she was. Ronnie Anne moved over to comfort him, but before Lola could make a move, something hit the door, and hard. The filthy phantom took this as a sign and changed himself back into his detective disguise. His timing was perfect, as a full on SWAT Team barged into the room, lead by two in full riot gear. "What took you guys?" Sham asked in a dry manner.

"And how'd you know where to find us?" Ronnie Anne added.

"Simple, little miss." One of the two burly riot cops said. "We heard the scream."

"You heard me scream?" The beauty obsessed twin sounded mighty surprised by this revelation.

"I think the whole city heard you scream 'Beetlejuice'...whatever that means." A female officer with short red hair explained as she stepped past the the shield bearing cops. It was at this point The Beast came to his senses and ran over to the cops, sliding onto his knees.

"Please! Take me away to jail!" He pleaded, much to everyone's shock.

"This...is a new tactic…" Commented the red headed officer, not sure what to make of it.

"Put me in solitary! Send me to Sing-Sing! I don't care! Just get me away from THAT KID!" He pointed a single pudgy finger at the traumatized Lincoln being seen to by Ronnie Anne and Sham Shpade.

"Uh...huh. Well, if you insist, Johnny. Take him away boys." She instructed as several cops barged in, placed hand cuffs onto the relieved gangster's fingers (as his wrists were too fat for the cuffs) and led him out of the room. "Is it just me, or is he looking a bit better than usual?"

"Must be the suit." Sham said with a shrug.

"...and who exactly are you?"

"Sham Shpade, ma'am. Private Eye." He replied, handing her one of his business cards. "I was hired to try and find the missing kids." The officer leered at him after reading his business card.

"I see. I'll be looking into your credentials and certifications when we get back to the precinct…" She then turned her attention to the kids. "Are you all alright?"

"I think so...physically, anyway…" Ronnie Anne answered, looking sympathetically at her shaking friend. Lola nodded in agreement. The officer kneeled down to look a little closer at Lincoln.

"How about you, young man?" The white haired boy slowly looked up at her and shook his head.

"I think Lincoln's just scared…" RA explained. "...he kinda went ballistic on Mr Talmane before Sham and you all came in…"

"This kid went off on The Beast!?"

"Yep. Nearly scared the pants off ol Lardo." BJ interjected, stifling a snicker.

"Linky can be REALLY scary when he's angry…" Lola whimpered, mostly to add weight to the story. Lincoln winced when he heard that, looking away from his little sister.

"...wow. He must be if he can scare The Beast."

"...and himself." The ghost with the most muttered under his breath. "Ahem. If it pleases you, officer, I'm going to see the kids home."

"Now hold on, Mr Shpade…"

"It's ok, Ms Officer...Mr Shpade is a friend of the family." Lola spoke up, getting to her feet. Her brother nodded, not saying anything.

"Be that as it may, we need a responsible adult family member to come pick you up." The officer explained to them, reaching for her phone. The moment she took her eyes off of them, Beetlejuice snapped his fingers and made him and the three children disappear. "Until then, we'll keep-huh?" She blinked as she realized the room was empty. "...where'd they go?"

* * *

Within seconds, BJ, Lincoln, Lana, and Ronnie Anne were outside the bodega, with the Louds inside Doomie and the ghostly detective and RA speaking with her aunt and uncle. When they heard what had happened, they (correctly) assumed she had gone looking from the missing Louds and were ready to ground her. However, BJ, being the master con artist he was, managed to convince them she had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time after leaving the library. While the ghost with the most was doing his thing, Lincoln and Lola were sitting in the back seat of the Dragster of Doom. Neither one said a word to one another, though not from lack of trying from Lola's side. Every so often, she would glance over at her brother, who stared off into space in the opposite direction. He hadn't said a word since he separated himself from Beetlejuice. She wanted to say something to him; anything. But every time she opened her mouth, nothing came out. So there they sat in the living car until BJ and Ronnie Anne returned. "Alright, you two. Time to go home. Say goodbye to your little friend."

"See you later, Ronnie Anne." Lola said sadly.

"See you, Lola." The latina city girl replied before turning to Lincoln. "Lincoln...you doing ok?" She asked him quietly.

"...I don't know." He whispered, in a deadpan voice. "I really don't know…" He sighed before slowly looking to her. "Thanks for coming to help with Beetlejuice…"

"Anytime, lame-o. And listen...I don't think anyone blames you for what happened…" Lincoln just huffed and turned his head down at the floor of the car. "I'm serious…"

"She...she's right, Lincoln…" Lola squeaked. The middle Loud still said nothing, unable to even look at his friend or sister. Ronnie Anne sighed.

"Alright...well, have a safe trip home, Lame-o, Lola...and give me a call when you get home and settled, ok?" The young man nodded slightly. "Thanks…" She stepped back from Doomie, giving BJ room to floor it and speed off. Normally, he would have just poofed them away, but he needed to get away from prying eyes first. This took nearly ten minutes, with the siblings in the back being utterly silent.

"Oh, come on, you two." Beetlejuice said, glancing back at them. "You're headed home. I woulda thought you'd be cheering, or at least happy..."

"...trust me, Beetlejuice...the last thing I feel like doing in cheering…" The white haired boy replied.

"...yeesh. I thought Lucy was a downer…" BJ grumbled, snapping his fingers after they left city limits. Within a matter of seconds, the trio arrived right in front of the Loud House. "And here we are!" Lincoln and Lola slowly emerged from Doomie, the one son gently patting the car. The living car beeped a few times in appreciation, startling Lola pretty badly.

"Ack! Why did you beep the horn!?" Lola asked.

"I didn't. That's just how Doomie talks." BJ explained, gesturing to the front of the dragster, which had just turned toward Lola. The prissy princess nearly jumped out of her skin seeing that, squealing in fright. Seeing her scared seemed to hurt the ghostly car's feelings, as it seemed to slump sadly.

"Oh...sorry uh...Doomie…" The little girl with the long blonde hair said apologetically, feeling a little bad about hurting the car. She cautiously edged closer to the vehicle, patting it on the hood. "I...just wasn't expecting a living car...do you forgive me?" Doomie nodded enthusiastically and licked her face, making her giggle. "Ack! You're getting car slobber on me...that is easily the weirdest thing I've ever said…"

* * *

Moments earlier, The Loud family were all seated in the living room, 'watching' tv. Well, they weren't really watching it. They were all too worried about Lincoln and Lola to really focus on the screen. Mrs Loud was sitting right by the phone, hoping to hear something, anything, about the well being of her children. Lucy was sitting by the coffee table, trying to get information from the spirits. Everyone else was simply lounging about in silence. That is, until Lori's phone vibrated. She sighed and looked at the screen. She glanced at the message, then her eyes widened and a big grin appearing on her. "GUYS!" She cried out, making her sisters and her parents jump. "I got a message from Ronnie Anne! She says Lincoln and Lola are on their way back with Beetlejuice!"

"Really!?" Leni inquired with a chipper smile.

"They're coming home!?" Rita asked, on the verge of tears. Before Lori could answer, they heard the sound of beeping from outside. The entire clan ran to the bay window to see the two children, the ghost with the most and the living car licking Lola outside. Within seconds, they were all storming outside, running toward the four of them excitedly. As Lola was closer, most of them, Rita and Lynn Sr included, group hugged her. Her parents were crying tears of happiness and they were all saying how glad they were to see them both unharmed. While the majority of his family were focused on his little sister, Lincoln was quietly moving around Doomie and heading for the door.

"Lincoln? Where are you going?" Lucy asked him, right behind him as usual, Leni not far from her with a concerned look. The one son flinched, but didn't yelp like he normally would.

"My room...I just need to be alone for a bit…" He replied flatly. He didn't wait for either of them to reply before he opened the front door and slipped inside. By the time he had gotten inside, the rest of his family had clued in to his strange behavior.

"What's with Linc?" Lynn Jr asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Something is plaguing him…" Lucy replied with a sad sigh.

"Did something happen, Lola?" Rita inquired.

"Actually...about that…" She said in a serious tone. "We need to have an emergency family meeting...now."


	14. Chapter 14

_AN: Having a bit of writer's block with my other stories at the moment, so here's a second helping of LincolnJuice. Also, recently got the Beetlejuice Cartoon series box set, which has helped give me a couple of ideas for future chapters; particularly the chapter with Lynn Jr and Lydia hanging out._

* * *

Chapter 14

The Loud family quickly adjourned to the living room, wondering what it was that Lola had to say. Beetlejuice, on the other hand, was headed upstairs to check on Lincoln. "Hold up there, Beetlejuice!" Lola cried out.

"What!? You said it was a family meeting." The ghost replied with a frown.

"You're involved in this, buster!" She exclaimed, grabbing him by the leg and pulling him through the railing and into the center of the Loud circle.

"Whoa! Whoa! Ok, geez. Such a drag…" BJ grumbled, floating up a bit.

"Should one of us get Lincoln?" Leni inquired, looking up at the ceiling.

"Not just yet." The pageant princess said. "Let me tell you what happened first." She moved over beside BJ and cleared her throat. "After Lincoln and I had been kidnapped and brought to the criminal's hideout, Lincoln naturally tried to help us escape."

"Of course. Our brother wouldn't take that noise sitting down. Hahaha." Luan quipped, which got her shushed by her family.

"His go to strategy was to call Beetlejuice, of course." Lola continued.

"Of course." BJ commented with a big smirk.

"But they had our mouths gagged. He came close though; almost tricking them into saying it at one point, but no good...then he got my gag off...and I wouldn't do it…" Lola looked down at rug, looking like a pup caught making a mess.

"What? Why wouldn't you?" Lori asked with a bit of a frown.

"Because I can't stand Beetlejuice..." Lola replied sadly. Lori and Luna opened their mouths, but were stopped when their little sister held up a hand. "Please don't...I've already been kicking myself over it enough today…" The moment she said, another her appeared right behind her and reared up to kick her behind. Without looking, she screamed "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" BJ gulped and quickly dismissed the doppleganger, whistling innocently.

"Was almost a good joke, buddy." Luan whispered with a giggle.

"...anyway, before he could come up with another plan, they came back because of the noise we were making...they took Linky away to punish him…"

"Th...they didn't hurt him, did they?" Rita asked after a horrified gasp.

"No. Worse. They...made him listen to-" She paused, looking to Lily and reconsidered her words. "-you know who-" She continued, making a few robotic motions akin to a certain toy. Everyone's eyes grew wide as they got the hint. "-for nearly an hour. On loop."

"Dude…" The third oldest of the sisters commented, shaking her head.

"Poor Linky…" Leni sniffled sadly.

"I wouldn't even wish that on my worst enemy…" Lori said, before thinking about it and amending. "...well, maybe Terri."

"Truly Hades on Earth…" Lucy muttered. Lynn Jr hopped out of her seat, moving over to the door and grabbing a baseball bat from the umbrella stand.

"Where are you going, sport?" Her father asked with concern.

"Taking a bus to the city...my bat wants to meet these goons…" The sporty Loud growled.

"Lynn Jr!" Rita suddenly rose from her seat, rushing over and confiscating her bat. The athletic brunette sulked for a moment, until her mother said "...after me."

"Whatever you say, Mom." Lynn Jr said with a grin, reaching for the doorknob.

"Mom! Lynn! Wait! It gets worse!" Lola shouted, causing both of them to freeze.

"How can it be worse than you know who!?" Lana asked, a little scared to hear the answer.

"...bout an hour after they took Linky away, they came back to film my ransom video…"

"And here's where I come in." BJ interjected, leaning over beside the prissy twin. Lola pushed him away, sighing.

"Yes...when they ungagged me, I called Beetlejuice. He took care of the crooks and brought Ronnie Anne with him."

"Ronnie Anne!? Beetlejuice, what-!?" Lori was about to scold him.

"Hey! Don't blame me! Kid was dead set on finding Lincoln, and she has great reflexes. Great enough to grab me before I disappeared." The ghost stated in his own defense. "Oh, and don't let her folks know, or she'll be grounded." The spirit suddenly turned into a pack of ground meat.

"...she helped free me, then we found and freed Lincoln...looking very...out of it."

"After an hour of 'him', I believe it." Luna said, shivering a bit.

"He made Beetlejuice go back inside his head and demanded he give him some of his power…"

"Just like with Inspector TooSlow…" Lynn Sr said out loud to himself.

"Who?" His wife inquired, turning to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"He's a Neitherworld detective...he tricked me into thinking Beetlejuice was more dangerous than he actually was." The aspiring chef admitted, looking kinda guilty about that. "He convinced me to lure him away to arrest him, but he tried to take Lincoln too."

"What!?" The group of sisters and the Loud matriarch all exclaimed at once.

"On what grounds do they justify such an act!?" An outraged Lisa demanded to know.

"Guilt by association, I wager." BJ commented, pulling some poker chips from his inner jacket pocket. "And it's not the only thing fishy about Neitherworld law enforcement…" He added, the chips turning into a trout. "But I digress. Go ahead, Lola."

"Beetlejuice agreed to give him 30% of his power, right when Mr Talmane came in. He tried to shoot Lincoln, but he had turned his gun into a peashooter before blowing him away with a lot of wind."

"Sounds like this Beast guy was just a blowhard. Hahahaha!" Luan jested with a fit of laughter.

"This is where things started to get serious…" The pageant princess said, which quieted Luan down. "He tried to feed him to these angry, big teeth fish…"

"Whoa whoa whoa...are we talking about the same Lincoln here?" Lynn Jr asked, hardly able to believe her ears.

"Little Miss Prissy's right. Mr President was about one step away from reducing ol' fat boy to fish food." Beetlejuice confirmed.

"Then why didn't you stop him, Beetlejuice!?" Rita asked angrily, glaring at the ghost with the most. "Take your powers away from him!?"

"Gee...I never thought of that…" BJ replied sarcastically. "If I coulda done that, do you think we'd even be having this conversation!?"

"Wait...why couldn't you?" Lucy interjected, all eyes going to her.

"Really, I have no idea." The muck loving spirit admitted, rubbing his chin as he pondered this question. "I mean, I only gave him about a third of my power. But the way he resisted, you'd think I gave him seventy percent…"

"He...resisted?" The Loud mother seemed very alarmed by this. "He actively resisted your attempt to take your powers back?"

"That is generally what resisting means…" BJ mumbled, crossing his arms.

"Don't sass me right now, Beetlejuice…" She warned him, giving him the evil eye.

"Mother, Beetlejuice, now is not the time for fighting." Lisa interrupted before the two could escalate things. "Right now, we need to focus on Lincoln and what happened...to which I believe I have a theory as to what had occurred."

"And that is…?" Lori asked her most intelligent younger sister.

"First and foremost, I believe only a small part of what happened was a result of Beetlejuice's power." The little genius said, adjusting her glasses. "You know what they say about absolute power, after all."

"Absolute? But he only gave-" Leni started to say.

"Perhaps…" Lisa interrupted, knowing where that was going. "...but for a mortal like Lincoln, being handed reality bending powers and spectral abilities...I imagine it's overwhelming for our only brother."

"...but he didn't have any issues before." Lynn Sr pointed out.

"Indeed, which leads to the other issue that I believe contributed to Lincoln's behavior; his mental state." Lisa continued, hopping off of her seat and moving over to Lola and BJ. "Lola, you mentioned that Lincoln seemed 'out of it' as a result of listening to…" She glanced toward Lily before whispering "...Fenton Fox…" and then continued in her normal tone "Is that correct?"

"Yes…"

"It seems to me that, after that bit of auditory torment, our dear brother's sanity was hanging by a thread. Put that together with the excessive power granted by Beetlejuice, a general lack of experience using his magic, and his overall anger, and I fear he would have little chance of resisting the temptation to misuse said powers." Lisa explained with a sigh.

"Ok, Brainiac...what can we do about it then?" Lynn Jr asked, slowly returning to the group.

"I have three possible suggested courses of action..." The micro mastermind commented, pulling a folding projector screen from behind her back. Once she got it set up, she pulled out her phone and pushed a few icons on it. "First course of action. Prevent our brother from utilizing Beetlejuice's powers." On the screen was a childish drawing of Lincoln and Beetlejuice with a barrier between them.

"No good, sis." Luna interjected. "If things from the Neitherworld are gonna keep trying to wreak havoc on our world, our bro is gonna need BJ's powers in a pinch."

"...especially Neitherworld Law Enforcement…" Their father mumbled.

"Agreed." The super genius four year old commented. "Second course: create a device to aid in limiting the powers of Beetlejuice while within our dear brother. A simple application of discomfort should he try to-"

"No." Eleven voices sounded together.

"Saw that coming...but it is still an option." Lisa said, not perturbed by this outright denial. "And for the third option…"

* * *

Meanwhile, upstairs, Lincoln was laying face down on his bed, Bun Bun held close to his side. He had calmed down a little since the incident, but that also meant he was thinking about it more. He had almost lost all control back there and nearly killed someone. Granted, that someone was a hardened criminal who threatened his life and the life of his friend and family. However, the very idea he could have done it, and so easily, chilled him to the very core. It frightened him more than being kidnapped did. While he was stewing in his own thoughts, his ring tone started to play. Not really wishing to talk to anyone, he reached over to decline the call. However, since he wasn't really looking, he accidentally accepted the call. "Hello? Lincoln?" Came the faint voice of Lydia. "Are you there?" He quickly turned his whole body toward the phone, nearly causing Bun Bun to fly from his grip. His first instinct was to just hang up, but that seemed a very rude thing to do, especially to his girlfriend. Instead, he slowly picked up the cell and said dully;

"Hi Lydia…"

"There you are. Are you alright, Lincoln? You sound...glum."

"Not really...I'm sorry, Lydia, but I'm not really in a mood to talk…"

"What's the matter, Lincoln?" The raven haired girl asked in a tone of worry. "Are you sick? Hurt?"

"Not in the standard definitions...but I really don't want to talk about it." There is a moment of silence on the phone. He was about to hang up when he heard a knock on the door...and on his phone. Not making the connection just yet and thinking it was his family, he sighed and called out, "I'm on the ph-" His sentence was cut off when he heard his own voice outside his door. Lydia giggled inaudibly before saying;

"I know, Lincoln. May I please come in?" The one son found himself very much torn at the moment. While he still didn't want to talk to anyone, a small part of him did want to see Lydia. A couple seconds of inner debate later, he slowly reached for the door and opened it. His cheerful gothic girlfriend stepped into the room and felt a twinge of concern and sadness as she looked into his face. "What happened to you, Lincoln…? You look like you had seen a sandworm…"

"...Lola and I had been kidnapped the other night..." He muttered into his pillow.

"What!? Are you both alright!?" An alarmed Lydia inquired.

"Lola is fine...I guess. I don't know...as for me...I really don't know..." He said sullenly. He could feel Lydia's hand gently holding his hand. "...as strange as it's going to sound...the being kidnapped part isn't what's disturbing me most…"

"Lincoln, what do-?"

"I almost killed someone, Lydia…" He admitted to her, about a hair away from bursting into tears. The girl from Peaceful Pines had a look of shock on her face when she heard this. She was speechless with disbelief, which gave Lincoln the opening to tell her the story: from the kidnapping, to his punishment, to Lola, Ronnie Anne, and BJ saving him, to his demanding the ghost share his power, and finally his attempt to throw The Beast into a tub of carnivorous fish. By the time he finished the story, he couldn't hold his sobbing back any further. As he cried softly into his pillow, Lydia carefully helped him sit up on his bed, then put her arms around him, holding him tenderly. That was when the floodgates really opened, the white haired boy hugging her tightly as he cried uncontrollably into her shoulder.

"That's it, Lincoln. Just let it all out." She told him softly, patting him on the back. It took the one son a couple minutes to calm down completely, sniffling terribly after his bout of tears. "Feel a little better?" She asked,offering him a handkerchief.

"...a little...I guess…" He answered in a choked up voice before he blew his nose.

"That's good. Now, I want you to listen to me, Lincoln." Lydia said, keeping one arm around him as she moved to sit beside him. "Yes, you almost did something regretful, but you weren't thinking straight. Your judgement was clouded by the stress of being kidnapped, the worry for your sister and...uh...Fenton." She had to admit she didn't really see what was so bad about what Lincoln described regarding Fenton Fox, but something about it clearly bothered him a lot. Perhaps she could look into it later. "Anyone who knows you would know you would never do something like that under normal circumstances..."

"...and there's the key phrase, Lydia...under normal circumstances. With Beetlejuice around, things in my life are about as far from normal as it gets. And next time, I might not stop. I could seriously hurt someone...an innocent, you, my family..." He looked down at the floor, looking as blue as the sky.

"Lincoln, I doubt you would let it get that far again." Lydia tried to assure him. However, her words seemed to have unusually little effect on him. In his mind, if he had BJ's power within him, he was a ticking time bomb. But what could he do?

"...you know, you're right, Lydia." He told her, lifting his head back up, a look of finality on his face. "I won't...because I'm never using Beetlejuice's powers again."

"What?"

"If I don't have access to his ghostly abilities, I won't be able to misuse them. Whether I'm in my right mind or not."

"A logical conclusion to come to, elder brother, but not the correct one in this case." Lisa stated, from his open doorway. He and Lydia looked to the door to see not only Lisa, but all of his sisters, his parents, and Beetlejuice standing there in the hall.

"...I really need to start shutting my door more often…" Lincoln muttered before he continued in his normal tone. "What do you mean, Lisa?"

"While you are correct in your belief that you cannot possibly fall prey to temptation if you do not have access to the absurd levels of power Beetlejuice has, we strongly suspect that it would lead to more problems in the future when you may need to combine your abilities." The little mastermind explained. "And before you say you won't have a need to use his powers, we've had two incidents in which residents from the Neitherworld have crossed over specifically seeking the ghost in question. Both occasions being linked to Neitherworld Law Enforcement in some way, shape or form. They seem desperate enough to get Beetlejuice that they think all methods are acceptable to do so…"

"Then why don't we just turn him in?" Lynn Jr asked with a shrug.

"Hey!" BJ glared at the fifth oldest of the siblings, who glared back at him.

"No." Lynn Sr spoke up, surprising his family. "They don't want just Beetlejuice...they want to arrest Lincoln too. Inspector TooSlow said as much."

"So it would seem." The genius toddler interjected. "And as a result, we don't doubt there will be times where you will need to invoke the powers of Beetlejuice, whether you like it or not."

"Beetlejuice doesn't need my help in that respect…" The one son stated flatly.

"Unless I'm trapped inside you with no way out." BJ countered. "Or have you forgotten that fancy necklace the SWAT team forced on you?"

"...then what do you recommend!?" Lincoln snapped.

"Meet me outside in one hour." His second youngest sister answered simply, which surprised him greatly. "I will answer all of your remaining questions then. Oh, and Lydia, if you would be so kind, your presence would significantly assist our cause." She added, turning her attention to the raven haired girl beside him.

"Um...sure, Lisa." She replied, not sure what she had in mind.

"Thank you. Excuse me, everyone, I have preparations to make." The pint sized scientist said before turning on her heel and heading for the stairs. With Lisa out of the way, Lola stepped forward, looking about one step away from crying. Seeing the beauty obsessed twin before him made Lincoln feel even worse than he was a moment ago.

"Lola…" He tried to say, but before he could go any further, Lola charged at him and knocked him onto his back as she hugged him tightly.

"Lincoln! I'm sorry!" Lola cried out, burying her face into his chest.

"Huh? You're sorry? What fo-?"

"For not calling Beetlejuice when I had the chance...if I had, you wouldn't have been taken away and none of this would have happened…"

"Lola…"

"Don't say it's not my fault! It is!" Lola wailed into his shirt. "I could have called him and got us out of there, but I didn't because I hated him!" She was full on crying now, which was breaking not just his heart, but the hearts of his family and Lydia (but not BJ, of course). The white haired boy gently hugged his sobbing sister.

"Ssshhh...Lola, don't cry...I don't blame you for what happened...Not at all…" He told her in a soft, soothing tone.

"Because he's too busy blaming himself." Beetlejuice interjected. Lincoln glared at his possessor while still comforting the pageant princess.

"Beetlejuice has a point, Lincoln." The pale girl from Peaceful Pines spoke up. "You have been beating yourself up pretty hard…"

"Lincoln's been beating himself up!?" Leni gasped in horror.

"She means he's been judging himself really harshly over what happened…" An exasperated Lori explained.

"...Bro, listen up and open your mind." Luna said, moving forward in the group. "You did and nearly did some rash stuff. No one's denying that. But you weren't you at the time."

"Luna's right, Lincoln." Lynn nodded in agreement. "You just kinda lost your mind back there. Could have happened to anyone in the same circumstances. I mean, I probably would have smashed a couple chairs into the guy's face in your position."

"And Lori probably would have turned the guy into a human jelly roll." Luan commented, pointing a thumb at her older sister.

"But regardless of what others might have done, or what you almost did…" His mother started to say. "...the fact of the matter is you DIDN'T do it. You came to your senses. There's no point in dwelling on what may have happened."

"She's right, Lincoln." Lydia agreed with a nod. "Instead, you should be focused on what's ahead, and you won't be facing it alone. You have your family behind you-" The Loud clan at the door, and Lola still clinging to his shirt, all nodded. "-and it sounds like Lisa has a plan...whatever that is. Not only that, but you have BJ and me at your side." She gave him a bit of a smirk. "With that kind of army behind 'the man with the plan'-" She playfully tapped him on the nose, making him chuckle slightly. "-there's nothing we can't do."

"...are you...going to be alright, Linky?" The six year old beauty princess asked, looking up at him with big, sad eyes.

"...I think I will be, Lola." He answered, looking back at her with a weak, but genuine smile.

"No more being so hard on yourself?"

"It may be awhile before I stop doing that...but I'll try." He told her, gently brushing her hair with his hand. Lola didn't like that answer, but figured it was the best she was liable to get. She freed her brother from her bear hug and took a few steps back to rejoin the others. "Thanks everyone." He then turned to Lydia. "Especially you, Lydia."

"You're very welcome, Lincoln." She replied, just as the one son gave her a big hug. Her cheeks turned quite red, returning the embrace with him without hesitation.

"Awwwww…" The Loud sisters and Lincoln's parents all cooed (with Beetlejuice pretending to throw up). Lydia glanced back a bit from the corner of her eye at them, using her foot to nudge the door shut.

"Hey!" Lola objected, but too late. The door was shut on them. With the two of them now alone in the room, Lydia and Lincoln smiled to one another before Lincoln gently kissed Lydia on the cheek. She responded with a soft giggle and a kiss on the nose, before the two tenderly kissed each other on the lips.

* * *

About one hour later, as Lisa requested, Lincoln, Lydia and Beetlejuice all emerged from the house into the backyard. The little genius was outside waiting for them, standing beside a large, metal target connected to her laptop computer, the computer behind a clear blast shield. In her hands were a clipboard and a pen. "Ah. There you are. Not necessarily on time, but close enough for government work."

"So, what exactly do you have planned, Lisa?" Her only brother inquired, unable to fathom her logic from what he saw before him.

"By my logic, elder brother, two factors had caused your uncharacteristic behavior back in Great Lakes City. The first being stress induced by the situation, along with the auditory torment you were forced to sit through. A factor admittedly outside our control. However, the second factor is Beetlejuice's nigh unlimited power-"

"Ah, you flatter me, ya munchkin." BJ said with a chuckle.

"-and your lack of experience utilizing said overwhelming powers." The four eyed toddler continued, irked slightly by the interruption. "This much, we can do something about; which leads us to the here and now. Elder Brother, you are going to practice using his spectral powers." The one son shuddered when Lisa said that. He was still quite nervous at the prospect of using BJ's powers. "I know what you are thinking, Lincoln, but there is nothing to fear. We will start small and work our way up, so you can get used to handling that power. In addition, I suspect Lydia's presence would help keep you calm, should the unforeseen occur." Lincoln gulped, shaking a little. He considered just saying no, but then he felt Lydia's hand take hold of his.

"It'll be alright, Lincoln." She told him in a reassuring voice. The white haired boy took a deep breath and nodded to Lisa.

"Very well. Beetlejuice, if you would be so kind as to unleash the full extent of your power onto the target. I require a baseline to work off of to properly measure the amount of power you two utilize together."

"You want me to go all out, eh? Gladly!" The filthy phantom rolled up his sleeves and cracked his knuckles as he focused on the circular target. He smirked and pointed his hand ahead of him, which promptly turned into a cannon. Lisa calmly took shelter behind a blast shield just before the cannon fired, unleashing a powerful bolt of magic into the target. The target promptly exploded, leaving behind a broken metal rod and loose wires.

"Beetlejuice!" Lincoln scolded him.

"What can I say? I'm a loose cannon."

"It's ok, Lincoln. I expected that to happen and have a replacement ready." Lisa told him with a soft smile, quickly placing a new one in place of the ruined one. "And I still got a fairly clear reading. Now, I'm going to need you and Beetlejuice to become one, Lincoln." This was the part the boy was dreading, but he proceeded to summon the ghost into his head anyway, before he could talk himself out of it. "Good. Good. Now, I know Lincoln has already experienced roughly twenty percent of your power already, but let us start with about ten percent."

"Whatever cooks yer test tube, Marie Curie." BJ replied from Lincoln, as the boy once more became Lincoln-Juice.

"I guess you want me to zap the target just like BJ did?" The one son asked, his voice a fusion of his and the ghost with the most's.

"Precisely." Lisa confirmed. "As hard as you can."

"Ok...This shouldn't be so bad, Lincoln…" He quietly told himself, raising a shaky hand up. A beam of ghostly magic emitted from his fingers and hit a bullseye, sparking upon impact.

"Hmmm...according to my readings, that recorded roughly 11.6% of your full power." Lisa said, tapping her upper lip with a finger. "I guess a slight range of disparity is to be expected…Now, I will need you to recollect the moment when you and father had your encounter with that Inspector TooSlow gentleman."

"Why do you need me to do that?"

"The initial test established the control data, with no added variables. Now I wish to test a theory. Beetlejuice mentioned that it felt like you had more power than he had actually given you back in the city."

"Come to think of it, Linc here did pull some big things outta his non existent hat against the SWAT team." Beetlejuice commented through Lincoln's mouth. "Go ahead, Mr President. Give it a shot."

"I'll try…" The ecto-empowered boy closed his eyes, trying his best to mentally visualize the first moment he used BJ's powers. When his father was getting pummeled by fly swatters. When they threatened to arrest him and his father. After a moment of reliving the moment, Lincoln's eyes sprang open as he threw a new magical burst into the target.

"Excellent, Lincoln, Beetlejuice." Lisa smiled lightly as she turned her attention back to her computer. Her eyes widened as she saw the results. "By Babbage...the power reading has more than doubled."

"Whoa...How is that possible?" Lincolnjuice asked.

"I have a fairly educated theory, but I have one last test to make." The little genius pulled a pair of wireless headphones from behind her back and handed them to her brother. "Put these on and get ready to cast again."

"Um...ok." The middle Loud slowly donned the headpiece, wondering where she was going with this.

"Very good. Now, I apologize in advance for what I am about to do…" The brainy toddler said as she pulled out her phone, making both Lydia and Lincolnjuice very worried. "Standby, Miss Deetz." Lisa said before tapping on the screen. Lincoln went stiff for a second as, through the headphones, he could hear that infernal fox's song. With a scream of anger, the possessed boy let loose a powerful surge of magic, blasting the target right off its metallic arm. Lisa went slightly pale as she quickly deactivated the video on her phone.

"Lisa...don't ever do that again…" The one son growled, Lydia moving in to help him calm down.

"My sincerest apologies." The four year old scientist replied before glancing at the computer screen. "...Great Galileo's Ghost!" She exclaimed in shock.

"What is it, Lisa?" The raven haired teen asked as she comforted Lincoln.

"That last trial yielded a result seven times more powerful than the control test…" The pint sized intellectual responded, turning the laptop so they could see it.

"Deadly voo…"

"Yikes…" Was all Lincoln could say.

"This supports my current theory...it would appear that the reality warping powers of Beetlejuice are amplified through strong feelings of emotion. The more intense the feelings, the more powerful the increase of power."

"That makes sense." Lydia commented. "BJ himself tends to be at his best whenever he is trying to help me or one of his friends. He's even faced sandworms face to face in those cases."

"Indeed. And given the fact Lincoln is rather emotional himself, his heart would act as an organic super charger for Beetlejuice's magic." Lisa elaborated as she shut down her laptop. "Which makes it all the more important that you practice using Beetlejuice's powers. The more accustomed you get to utilizing such powerful magic, the less likely a repeat of the earlier incident will occur before we can find a method of separating you two."

"Speaking of…" BJ finally piped up from within Lincoln. "...if you're here, who's looking for that info?"

"I had created a computer algorithm to continue the search while I am away." The micro megamind explained simply. "It sends information to my phone if it finds anything relevant."

"Are you sure that's safe, Lisa?" Her concerned brother inquired.

"You need not worry yourself, Lincoln. I have put a number of failsafes into effect. The odds of something going wrong are astronomically low." She explained. "Now, let us proceed with the exercises…"

* * *

The practice went clear on until dinner, and even a little bit afterwards too. Lincoln was able to handle 10% of Beetlejuice's power quite easily, so they went right to 25% before it got too dark for them to continue. Lincoln separated himself from Beetlejuice and escorted Lydia upstairs to see her home while the ghost with the most stayed downstairs. The pugnacious spirit pondered seeing what was on TV when he felt a tug at his sleeve. Lola was trying to get his attention, looking like she was about to do something she was being forced to. "What's up, kid? Need a drink of water?"

"...I wanted to say thank you, Beetlejuice…" The prissy twin said quietly, trying not to be heard by her sisters. The ghost smirked mischievously.

"Come again?" He asked, putting a hand to his ear.

"...Thank you, Beetlejuice." She mumbled again, a little louder.

"One more-"

"Don't push it!" She snapped, causing him to recoil a bit. "...anyway, I appreciate that you came to rescue my brother and me…"

"Ah, think nothing of it, kid...just don't let it get around."

"Trust me. It's not something I plan to tell anyone…" Lola said, still slightly sour. "But back on topic...if you want to visit or play with Lana in our room...even if I'm there...go ahead." BJ blinked, staring down at the little girl.

"Seriously? You mean it?"

"Yes...but not while I'm sleeping!" She barked at him. "And no juicing my stuffed toys!"

"Whoa! Alright already...yeesh." The filthy phantom said, backing away from her. Still, being able to see his littlest buddy more often was truly a treat. "Is that all you wanted to say?"

"...pretty much. Now, if you'll excuse me…" The pint sized princess moved over to the couch, which was oddly empty, and changed the channel to her favorite prison pageant show. BJ turned his gaze toward the tv and smirked, floating over behind the furniture to watch too. The pageant princess could feel his presence and was tempted to yell at him, but decided that he wasn't bothering her right now. She didn't have to like him, but it didn't mean she had hostile to him all the time either.


	15. Chapter 15

_AN: Good grief, this chapter...it's not the longest chapter I've written, but it certainly felt like it. And it took much longer than it should. Here's hoping it was worth the wait._

* * *

Chapter 15

Over the next couple days, Lincoln was working hard alongside Lisa and Lydia (when she could) to get himself used to using Beetlejuice's powers, and he was certainly getting more comfortable with the spirit's magic. However, with school and homework as well, it was taking up quite a bit of his free time. One of these days, in particular, was the day of one of Lynn's baseball games. She had really hoped her brother could have come see the game, but she knew this practice was very important; not just for him, but for all. So as disappointed as she was, she understood why he couldn't be there. However, Lydia had offered to come watch her game in his stead. The sports loving Loud was a little hesitant to accept her offer at first. Yet, when she got to the field, she changed her tune pretty quick. As the Royal Woods team warmed up, Lynn and Lydia took the opportunity to play some catch. "Wow. You're actually not half bad." Lynn commented as she tossed a fast ball to her. The gothic teen caught the ball and, after waving her gloved hand a bit to ease the pain of impact, threw the ball back

"Thanks. My father and I play catch together whenever we get an opportunity." She responded, throwing the ball back. "He's a real big fan of baseball."

"No fooling? Have you ever considered playing? In an actual team, I mean."

"Well, I did play for the Neitherworld team once…"

"Wait...really?" Lynn sounded very surprised by this revelation. Surprised and a little impressed. Lydia simply nodded in return.

"Yep. Alongside Beetlejuice, all his friends and...those who tolerate him."

"Which I bet aren't many…" Lynn said, the two girls sharing a little laugh. "Still, that's pretty awesome...but I thought you said you weren't that into sports."

"I'm not, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy playing from time to time."

"Fair enough." Lynn replied. "Man, you are quite a gal, you know that?"

"Thanks to Lincoln, I know." Lydia replied, getting another soft laugh from Lynn.

"Well, he's right. I mean, you tolerate Beetlejuice. That should earn you a medal right from the get go. But you got a lot of talents too. I heard from my siblings what you're capable of. Makes me wonder what other surprises you're hiding."

"Well, would it surprise you to know that I'm pretty darn good at video games too?"

"...you're kidding? You? You don't seem the type."

"I kid you not." She replied with a smirk, somewhat amused by Lynn's look of disbelief. "I've even dominated a few Neitherworld arcade games."

"I'll try not to hold it against you." Lynn joked, snickering a bit. "Does Lincoln know?"

"Not yet."

"Eh, he's probably just worried you might not enjoy it." The sporty Loud said with a shrug before catching the ball again.

"So who are you guys playing against, anyway?" Lydia inquired.

"The West Wallans Warhogs, the worst team in the league." The ponytailed athlete said with a scoff. "I don't think they ever won a game since they entered the league."

"Don't you think you're exaggerating a little?" Lydia asked with a raised eyebrow. Lynn shook her head and then pulled out her phone. She brought up a chart of the win loss records of all the teams in the league. The gothic teen's eyes widened when she looked at the record of the Warhogs. "Yikes...but that's just-" Before she could finish the sentence, Lynn started to show her the previous year's charts. "-nevermind. I see what you mean."

"Yeah. I gotta give them props for trying though. I admire that kind of persistence." Lynn admitted.

* * *

Meanwhile, the team from West Wallans was getting ready in their dugout, though they seemed less than enthusiastic about the game. As Lynn had said, they had never won a game, and now they were facing one of the best teams in the league. "Well, Maurice...looking forward to getting our hides kicked...again?" A young man with curly blonde hair asked the player beside him, a sour looking teen boy with black hair in a bowl cut.

"You mean like everytime, Bently…?" He asked in a grumpy voice. "Yeah...I'm just freaking raring to get humiliated again…" He answered sarcastically.

"Hey...no need to get snippy, pal." Bently said with a frown. "I mean, I know it's annoying that we lose all the time, but if we're going to lose, may as well take it in good humor, eh?"

"You take it in good humor...I'll just sit here regretting life choices…" Maurice grumbled. "It's bad enough our team bites. It's bad enough we're up against the toughest team in the league…" He glared over at Lynn as she practiced. "...but I also have to watch my weirdo little brother and he has to watch us lose…" He huffed in frustration, crossing his arms in front of himself. "I think I have a right to be hacked off about the situation…"

"...I could help you win, big brother…" A droning voice from Maurice's left said. He and his teammate turned to look at a little boy, about five years old, staring back at them with wide, half lidded eyes. His dark hair was an utter mess, he was wearing a t shirt with the grim reaper on it, black jeans and little white sneakers. He had a thick, old book under his arm.

"...I sincerely doubt it, Donnie...since you aren't even on the team…"

"What do you mean, little guy?" Bently asked, leaning forward to look at the little boy who seemed uninterested in the world around him.

"I have a book here that will allow me to summon spirits from the next world here…" He said, holding his book so they could see the cover. Oddly, it lacked a title.

"...whatever you say…" Maurice said with a roll of his eyes, looking away from his little brother.

"...don't take his grouchiness personally, little fella…" The blond haired boy said as he led the five year old away from his sour older brother.

"I never do…" Donnie replied flatly.

"He's just wants to win a game for once...which I hate to say, isn't happening with this team…why don't you take a seat on the bleachers, buddy?" He suggested, pointing to the visiting team stands. "Right up front where your bro can see you, ok?"

"...after I used the bathroom…" Bently nodded and directed the little boy toward the boy's room not far away. Once inside, Donnie made sure he was absolutely alone before he opened his book. "My brother may not believe...but once I summon the spirits to help him and his team win...it will make him feel better." He monologued to himself. He turned a few pages before he found the page he was looking for. Pulling a few cookies from his pocket, he crumbled them up and sprinkled them in a circle on the floor. "With the crushing of these cookies, I create the gateway for your arrival…" He chanted. "With the sprinkling of this grave dirt, I empower the gateway for your arrival." He continued as he poured a pocket full of dirt in the center of the circle. 'Ok, maybe not graveyard dirt, but it was where my hamster was buried...that should count, I hope…' He turned the page. "And with this chant...I summon you…Extellorium Tennivere Stuocs Luohg." As he chanted, a bright light shone from the center of the dirt, before erupting into a bright flash, momentarily blinding the child. When his vision returned, he saw a trio a ghoulish ghosts standing in the center of the cookie circle. One was short, stocky, with a round blue head. One was tall, with a darker blue, Frankenstein like head. And the final one had long, dark green hair with ribbons in her pigtails, wore pale pink lipstick, and had green skin. All three of them were wearing ratty old scout uniforms, with little skulls on the badges on their berets.

"Whoa...how did we get here?" The shortest of the ghosts asked.

"No idea." The one girl of the group replied, looking around. "...We're certainly not in the Neitherworld anymore...it's too clean."

"...this is not what I was expecting…" Donnie commented quietly, but not quite quiet enough to not get their attention.

"What's your malfunction, shorty?" The taller of the two boy ghosts asked with a frown.

"Shorty? I summoned you here...surely you show me more respect than that…" The two young ghoul men were about to snap at him, but the one girl ghoul stepped in front of them, pushing them back.

"Sorry, kid, but the jump to the mortal realm left them a little cranky. Would you excuse us a second?" She pushed her fellow undead scouts away from the living boy, into one of the stalls.

"What gives, Hazel!?" The smallest of the trio asked indignantly.

"Shhh...we got ourselves an opportunity for some fun here, and I'm not going to let you dopes ruin it." When her fellow scouts just look confused at her, she sighed in exasperation. "How often is it we get to visit the mortal realm?"

"Not often at all…"

"Exactly. So why not enjoy it while it lasts?" Her two friends smiled as they got what she was getting at. "There we go. We're on the same page now." She pulled them out of the stall and over to Donnie. "Again, sorry about that kid."

"Err...no problem...I'm Donnie."

"I'm Hazel." The only girl of the group answered. "This here is Toadstool…" She gestured to the shortest boy to her right. "And this is Atropa." She indicated the taller boy to her right. "We're the Sappy Face Ghouls."

"So...what'd ya call us for?" Atropa asked with his arms crossed in front of him.

"I want you to help my big brother's baseball team win this game." He said in a whisper, just in case someone was listening.

"Oh! A bit of cheating, is it?" Toadstool said with a big grin, wringing his blue hands.

"No. Not cheating. Just...give his team a little boost."

"Tomato, tomahto, Donnie." Hazel said with a shrug. "So...how is your brother's team...scale of one to ten?"

"So far in the negatives, I can't count that low…"

"Yeesh. He ain't kidding…" The taller of the ghouls commented, peeking out the bathroom door. He was watching the West Wallans team as they warmed up. Having lost so many times, most of the team wasn't even trying. As such, they were very sloppy. "They need serious help…"

"Alright there, kid. You head off and act none the wiser." Hazel said as she gently nudged him toward the door. "We'll handle the rest." Donnie was feeling a little apprehensive about this, but he had already summoned them. No turning back now. With their summoner out of the way, the Sappy Face Ghouls put their heads together to formulate a plan.

* * *

Over at the home stands, Lynn Sr was getting situated with some of his daughters on the bleachers; Lana, Luna, Leni, and Lucy. Lana was at the end of the row, using her hat to save a spot for Lydia. Lucy was right by her father, under her little black umbrella. "Looking forward to the game, kids?" Their father asked, who looked pretty excited himself.

"I am!" Leni exclaimed, though she seemed to be the only one.

"Not especially, Pop-Star." Luna replied. "I've seen Lynn's team play this one before. This isn't gonna be especially exciting."

"At least it's a nice day." Lana commented, looking to Lucy. "Well, for most of us." The little goth didn't respond, her gaze scanning the area toward the restrooms. "Huh? Lucy? What's up?"

"I felt something. A disturbance." She replied quietly. "It was faint, but close."

"A disturbance?" The rocker Loud asked, tilting her head. Her younger sister nodded quietly in reply.

"I've only felt this kind of disturbance before once...when Dad and Lincoln went to the park…" This got the Loud father's attention pointed toward the eight year old in an instant.

"You felt something then?" He asked in concern.

"It's probably nothing." Lana said with a shrug.

"Maybe...but I don't know…" She said. When she saw Donnie leaving the boy's room without exhibiting any suspicious behaviors, she calmed down a little. However, she didn't intend to let her guard down completely. She had a nagging feeling something was up, she just didn't know what yet.

* * *

"So, how long do you think it'll take before the officials decide to just end our misery?" A dark haired young man asked his shorter friend with a shaved head as they headed toward the away team dugout with a soda each. Or perhaps he was just bald. It was impossible to tell at a glance.

"I'll bet we don't even get out of the first inning."

"Oh, we aren't THAT bad. We'll make it to the third inning at least."

"Care to back that up?"

"You bet. The usual?"

"The usual. A Burpin' Burger meal for the winner."

"One of the only reasons I like coming to Royal Woods. They have the best Burpin' Burger in the tri state area." The two of them chuckle a bit when they heard a soft 'psst'.

"Hey, guys. We're trading MiniMon cards in here." Toadstool whispered from the bathroom door, holding a few trading cards in his hand. "Interested?"

"MiniMon? That game is for kids…" The short, bald teen said with a frown.

"...we are kids." Atropa retorted in a deadpan manner.

"...well, he's got you there." The taller of the two said with a shrug. They were about to just walk away when…

"I have a holographic Flare Drake~" The short Sappy Face Ghoul said with a sort of taunting tone.

"The Flare Drake!?" The hairless boy said in shock, turning so quick you'd think he hurt his neck. "That's the rarest one!"

"So what?" His buddy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's the one my girlfriend is missing. If I get her that, it'll really make her day."

"Ah. Looking to earn some brownie points, huh? I getcha." The dark haired boy said with a smirk. "We have a moment. Let's see if we can go get it. I'll be your wingman on this one."

"Come right in, guys." Atropa said, stepping back to let the two of them in. A few seconds later, the two boys emerged, but they looked kinda different. Their eyes were yellowish and their teeth looked sharper. "Not a bad fit, if I do say so myself." Atropa commented from the body of the dark haired boy.

"It'll do." Toadstool said, not quite as satisfied as his friend.

"...don't they have any girls on the team?" Hazel complained as she scanned the area for a possible possessee. With game time approaching, she decided a beggar couldn't be a chooser. She spotted a West Wallans player with short brown hair strolling by with a soda in their hand headed past the bathrooms. Throwing caution to the wind, she snuck out of the boy's room and grabbed the player by the arm. They squeaked a bit before she covered their mouth. "Need to borrow you for a few hours." She whispered before her ghostly form melded into the little mortal's. Once she had possessed her target, she slunk back into the bathroom for a closer look at herself. "...well, I suppose it will have to do…" Hazel commented glumly, pulling the baseball cap off her head. When she did, a wave of brown hair fell out of it, hanging down to about the middle of her back. She blinked for a moment before looking at herself more closely. "Wait...this guy is a girl...she was just trying to hide it…" Hazel smirked at her reflection. "...I could use that."

* * *

With the game about to start, Lydia had to leave the field, joining the Louds in the stands while Lynn's team huddled together for a quick pep talk. "Alright, Squirrels. Listen up. This game is going to be a piece of cake, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't take this seriously." Lynnsanity said to her teammates with a light smirk. "So let's go out there and give it all we got. Squirrels rule!"

"Squirrels rule!" Her team replied.

"Listen up, Warhogs!" Maurice snapped at his team as they gathered together. "I don't know about you knuckleheads, but I'm tired of being considered a loser! I'm tired of our team being considered the joke of the league! Today, we turn this all around! Today, we win!"

"In your dreams…" One of the Warhogs in the bunch said, getting a furious growl from their captain.

"Ah, don't listen to him." Toadstool said with a grin. "Things will be different today."

"They better be! Now, I want you to get out there, and play like you've never played before!" Maurice demanded, though his words seemed far from inspiring. Bently knew his friend was just upset about their team's situation, so he doesn't take his ranting personally, but the rest of his non possessed team just looked like they didn't care. Fortunately for the Warhogs, they won the chance to bat first. As usual, Lynn took to the mound, stretching her pitching arm as the first Warhog batter stepped up to the plate, a lanky, black haired teenage boy. The highly competitive Loud sister smirked, preparing to perform her little dance of luck. However, the moment she made her first step, she stopped, took a deep breath, and focused back on the batter and catcher.

"What was that about?" Lydia asked, munching on some popcorn as she watched Lynn throw a fastball for a near perfect strike one.

"It's a ritual Lynn used to do once upon a time." Lucy explained.

"Yeah. Our sis used to be super superstitious." The rock and roll teen elaborated upon. "Especially when sports are involved. She's been trying to kick the habit, though."

"But she still keeps a lucky rabbit's foot on her." Lana added with a bit of a snicker.

"Well, no harm in holding on to a little bit of luck, as long as she doesn't let it run her life." The raven haired goth teen said sagely.

"True that." Luna agreed with a nod and smile, right as her sister struck out the first batter with ease. Maurice took a deep breath and rubbing his temples as his teammate walked back to the dugout.

"...Didn't. Even. Try." He growled before glaring at Atropa. "Marv! You're up!"

"You got it, chief." He replied with a grin.

"...you have a cold or something?" The sour young man asked with a raised eyebrow. "You sound funny…"

"Yeah, but not gonna let that stop me."

"Good attitude, Marv...now if only the rest of these slackers could step up…" He grumbled as his ghost inhabited fellow player stepped up to the batting box. Lynn smirked at him as she wound up. The moment she let go of the ball, the ghoulish scout at bat pointed at finger at the spheroid. A near invisible beam of magic took hold of the old apple as it soared through the air. Atropa swung his bat and the ball flew right into it, the solid hit sending it flying. The Warhogs were surprised by this. The Squirrels were surprised by this. Lynn was more surprised than anyone.

"Well...it had to happen sometime…" she shrugged it off with a nervous chuckle.

"Easy out! I got it!" Francisco called out as he got under the ball.

"That's what you think…" Hazel muttered with an evil expression. She snapped her fingers and his pants fell down. He blushed deeply, hastily trying to pull his pants back up, the ball bouncing off the ground. Lynn's face was a deep shade of red as well, trying not to look by putting her glove in front of her eyes.

"Oooh…that was a tough break…" Luna said with a grimace, feeling sorry for the young man as Atropa got to first.

"Well, that was lucky…" Maurice commented. "Let's hope that luck holds."

"You...alright over there, Francisco?" Lynn asked as he tried to regain his composure.

"Yeah...I'll be fine." He replied. Over on first base, Margo kinda smirked at Lynn. A look that said 'Bet you liked that, huh?'. The sporty Loud just glared at her, wiping the smirk from her face and getting her game face back on. Maurice was next to bat, facing down the now angered Lynn. Her anger caused her pitching to get a little more wild; more outside of her control. This gave the sour team captain a line drive between second and third. The Squirrels' shortstop caught the ball after the bounce and threw it toward second base. Toadstool twirled his finger at the baseball in flight, causing it to lift upward and flying just barely over the fingers of the second baseman's glove. Lydia frowned lightly when she saw this. Something didn't feel right to her. This felt like Beetlejuice monkeyshines to her, but she knew that was impossible. BJ was with Lincoln back at the Loud House. Still, something was up and she was going to figure out what. She started to climb down the stands in the guise of getting another snack, with Atropa on third and Maurice on second. Meanwhile, Hazel was stepping up to the plate.

'Ok, Lynn. You're...just lulling them into a false sense of security.' She thought to herself as she calmed herself down. 'And what happened...they had been practicing, and it's paying off. They're actually going to be a challenge...this is a good thing.' The competitive brunette smiled as that thought crossed her mind. Hazel too had a big smile on her face as she pulled off her batting helmet, letting her possessee's hair down and swinging it a bit before putting the helmet back on. The boys on her team just sat in the dugout with their jaws hanging open. Most of them knew she was a girl, but with her hair out of her hat, she looked totally different. Lynn's team looked equally surprised, all of them blushing a deep shade of red, except Lynn and Margo.

"Wow…" The young man on third base said in awe. "She's a knockout."

"Hey! Put your eyes back in and focus!" Lynn snapped, getting most of her team to get back into the game. So much for her momentary good mood. She glared at Hazel as she wound up and pitched the ball. As Lydia waited for her bag of popcorn from the little popcorn wagon, she watched the batter like a hawk. While Hazel wasn't using her magic, Toadstool felt safe fiddling with things from the dugout, moving the orb right in front of his friend's bat. It was a pop fly right to the outfield, not that the outfielder was watching the ball. His eyes were on Hazel as she cast off her helmet and started running, seemingly in slow motion, toward first base. In fact, she was purposely moving in slow motion, which further irritated the sporty Loud.

"Now she's just trying to get my goat…" She growled. She looked back out toward the outfield, just as the ball bopped the outfielder on the head. "HEY! Wake up!" Lynn shouted, snapping her teammate out of his enchanted state. By that point, Atropa had already crossed home and Maurice was making a mad dash past third. The outfielder picked up the ball and tossed it toward Margo on first, though the one girl ghoul scout had already passed. The long, light brown haired athlete tossed the ball toward second, but one wink from Hazel nearly made him melt (though he did miss the ball). Steam was billowing from Lynn's ears as Hazel rounded second, then started rushing toward third. On her way there, she and Lydia locked eyes for a moment, causing the ghostly girl to gasp and flinch. Breaking eye contact hastily from the goth girl only made her suspicious. Hazel just barely managed to slide to home plate before the ball reached the catcher's glove.

"Now that's more like it!" Maurice said with a big smile, the first time he smiled during a game in a long time. "Now we're playing...though what was up with that, Ray?" He asked, looking curiously at the one girl on their team. Hazel didn't respond at first, still a little perturbed by Lydia's presence. A quick nudge from Atropa got her attention though.

"Huh? What?" She inquired.

"I thought you said you wanted to keep the fact you're a girl from the other team."

"Oh, I'm tired of hiding." 'Ray' responded with a wave of her arm. "It's too much of a pain in the neck."

"If you say so, Rachel."

"Plus, it doesn't hurt that those dopes couldn't keep their eyes off you." The smallest of the ghouls whispered with a smirk.

"Hush, you idiots." Hazel replied quietly, moving her friends away from the team for a quick conference. "Lydia is here!"

"Really? Do you think Den Mother Beetlejuice is here too?" The taller of the trio whispered eagerly. "He'll be so proud of this…"

"He would, but Lydia can be a stick in the mud sometimes." She answered, looking worried. "We're gonna need to be more careful...if she busts us, then fun time is over."

"Good point...we better be more subtle." Atropa agreed. "We'll cool it for a bit, so it doesn't look too fishy." Little did they know that Lydia was already on the case. Fortunately, Lynn had already called a timeout to give her team an ear full.

"What was that!?" She inquired loudly and indignantly. "Like you never saw a long haired girl before!"

"Sorry, Lynnsanity...it's just...we were caught off guard, that's all…" The sheepish second baseman told her.

"Like you weren't distracted when Franc lost his pants…" The shortstop muttered.

"At least that didn't cost us three points!" Francisco snapped in Lynn's defense, his cheeks a deep scarlet.

"My point exactly!" The pony tailed pitcher exclaimed.

"Man...Lynn looks steamed." Lana commented, looking sympathetically at her older sister.

"Poor Lynn…" Her father said sadly as Lydia returned to her seat.

"...you seem pensive, Lydia." Lucy said, turning her head slightly.

"Something isn't right here, Lucy…" She responded quietly. "I have a feeling some shenanigans are afoot."

"What do you mean?" Luna inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"All that misfortune happening pretty much all at once? I don't think that's a coincidence. Plus, when I was getting some more popcorn, that one girl on the Warhogs team reacted strangely when she looked at me. Like she knew me or something."

"You think it's Beetlejuice?" Lucy questioned with a frown.

"No. Beetlejuice isn't really known for subtlty, and we'd known it was him by his laugh. Besides, he's working with Lincoln and Lisa."

"...good point."

"You may be on the right track though...something about this stinks of NeitherWorld magic...but I can't be certain yet."

"We could help you keep an eye out." Lana suggested with a smile.

"That's a good idea, Lans." Luna replied, looking down at the field. "'Ey...check it out." She pointed out how Hazel was conversing in secret with her friends separate from the rest of her team.

"Isn't that the girl you mentioned?"

"It sure is, Lana." Lydia's eyes narrowed as she looked over the scene before her. The three of them together...there was something VERY familiar about them. But what?

* * *

With the Sappy Face Ghouls laying low for the rest of this half of the inning, the Warhogs got their last two outs quickly. Maurice wasn't so upset though. They were three points ahead, after all. To the short tempered athlete, however, these were three points too many, given the circumstances. They weren't going to get any more, though. Not on her watch. But one step at a time. Now, the Squirrels got to go on the offensive. "Alright, Squirrels...we slipped up earlier...but now, we come back like a boomerang. Hit 'em hard, move fast, and DON'T get distracted!" She glared at the offending players for a moment, making them cringe. "Go Squirrels!"

"Go Squirrels!" Her team responded before they lined up in their dugout, the Warhogs taking to the field. The first two Squirrels managed to get base hits off of Maurice's pitching, taking first and second. The third batter ended up hitting two fouls, then struck out. As Margo stepped up to the plate, Hazel thought it was time for a little mischief. She glanced up toward the stands, and found Lydia looking in her direction. She quickly looked away, realizing she wasn't going to put one over while she was watching. However, she could signal to Atropa in right field. The taller possessor nodded and started to make with the magic. With his distance from the plate, it took his magic a few seconds to reach Margo's bat, but when it did, it caused the ball to fly right through it like it was made of nothing. Lynn's friend just blinked as she looked at the wooden club in her hand. Lynn herself had a similar expression of bewilderment. That hit looked perfect, but she missed? It was like the bat suddenly became...a ghost. Her hands clenched into fists and she grit her teeth in anger.

"Excuse me a moment…" Lynn growled before she made her way to the nearest restroom. If who she thought was involved was, she was going to give him hell. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" She called out, her arms crossed in front of her. Nothing happened. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" She yelled a second time. Still nothing. "Beetlejuice, get your ectoplasmic butt out here!" No response of any kind. "If I find out you're involved with what's going on, I'm going to beat you to within an inch of your afterlife!" She barged out of the bathroom, her mind racing. How come BJ didn't appear when she called his name three times? 'Well, he's supposed to be training with Lincoln...is it possible he and the pest are still fused? Is that why he isn't responding?' She wondered. 'But if it's not him...then who?' She was still wracking her brain by the time she got back to the bench. "What'd I miss?"

"Margo struck out…" Francisco admitted, shaking his head. "Makes no sense. All her swings looked perfect…"

"Tell me about it…" Lynn growled. Maurice was taking notice of this as well, looking very confused. His pitching was good, but it's never been that good. He was wondering what was going on, while the short tempered sportswoman had had enough. "I'm going in…" Lynn growled, grabbing her favorite bat. No one tried to stop her because 1) she was pissed and 2) Lynn tended to bat cleanup anyway. The sporty sister glared at the batter as she gripped her stick so tight, it creaked from the pressure. Toadstool decided to take her on with his magic. The sour faced boy pitched the baseball, just as the shortest of the Sappy Face Ghoul worked his magic. The moment Lynn swung the bat, the ball paused mid flight and dropped below the swing and into the catcher's mitt. It was fast enough for most people to miss. But not Lynn, and not Lucy. She had spotted Toadstool's use of magic, since he wasn't really being as stealthy about it as Hazel and Atropa. She leaned over to whisper to Lydia just as the ball evaded Lynn's next swing. Strike two. For a third time, the spheroid flew toward the furious batter. She narrowed her eyes, grit her teeth, steeled her strength and...pretended to swing. The moment she did, the ball tried to duck under the swing. "Ha!" She exclaimed as she swung for real this time and sent the ball flying up, up and away. Jaws dropped all over the stadium, but not because of the hit. With Lynn's feint, it made the ball's very strange movement more obvious. The three Squirrels ran around the bases, being watched by the Warhogs and the irate Sappy Face Ghouls.

'How dare she hit a home run off my trick!' Toadstool thought furiously. Maurice also looked incessed, but not for the same reason. In his eyes, it looked like cheating. He wanted to win, but not by cheating. As soon as Lynn surged over home plate, he called a time out.

"Sweet hit, Lynnsanity." Margo said to her.

"Nice one." Francisco complimented her. While the fifth oldest sister felt pleased to be able to earn her team some points to catch up, she was still fuming about what was going on. She stormed over to the end of the bench, sitting with her arms crossed.

"Psst. Lynn." The fuming athlete turned her head to see Lydia and Lucy leaning over close to the dugout, motioning her over.

"What's up, Lyd, Luce?" She whispered after she edged her way over to them.

"As you probably no doubt spotted yourself, the Warhogs are cheating." Lucy muttered in a monotone.

"Gee...I never would have guessed." Her older sister said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"And they're using NeitherWorld magic to do it." The gothic teen added, which really got Lynn's attention. "And no, it's not Beetlejuice."

"Yeah...I figured that out already...but who is it then?"

'We don't know. Lydia says that spirits from the NeitherWorld cannot just cross into the living world on a whim…"

"Right...so they must have been summoned here...but it could still be anyone." Lydia said, narrowing her eyes at the crowd of Warhogs on the mound. "Hmmm...it looks like their pitcher is upset about something…"

"Alright...what's going on, you guys!?" Maurice asked, looking fit to be tied at his teammates.

"What do you mean, cap?" Bently inquired with a curious look.

"Someone is pulling some shenanigans here and I want to know who!"

"Shenanigans? What do you mean?" Hazel asked in faux surprise.

"I mean someone on this team, somehow, fiddled with the baseball!" He roared in her face. "How else do you explain the ball trying to dodge the bat like that!?"

"I thought it was some of that tricky pitching stuff that we see on tv sometimes." Atropa commented. "You know, the kind the pros-"

"You know damn well I'm not pitching at a pro level!" He screamed at the taller, dark haired boy the tallest of the ghoul scouts was possessing. "What I see is cheating."

"Whoa! Don't you think that's a little harsh?" Hazel asked, looking shocked and moving over beside Maurice, putting an arm on his shoulders. "Besides, I thought you wanted to win."

"Not like that!" He snapped, shoving her arm away. "You know what...I don't care who's responsible. Just KNOCK IT OFF!" He bellowed, scaring most of his team. "One more bit of chicanery and I'll recommend to coach we forfeit!" The angry teen threatened, pointing his pointer at each of his teammates in turn.

"Hmmm...he doesn't sound happy about what had been happening…" Lucy said quietly. While she couldn't make out what was being said by the other team, everyone could hear that there was much yelling.

"So...the captain isn't involved?" Lynn inquired, a little confused.

"I doubt it...Lucy, you said early you felt a disturbance earlier, right?" Lydia looked toward the raven haired child beside her. She nodded silently.

"Yes...from the restrooms." She responded, twisting her head to look toward the public bathrooms.

"Did you see anyone leave the bathroom around then?" The ponytailed athlete asked.

"Yes. And I think I'm going to have a chat with him right now…" she said, looking toward the West Wallans spectators stand.

* * *

Meanwhile, Donnie could see the rage in his brother's eyes and felt greatly concerned. This was supposed to help his brother's mood, not further enrage him. However, he had no idea where the ghosts he had summoned were to ask them to stop it. The young lad pulled out his book and started to flip through it. 'Banishment...banishment...where is the banishment spell?' He thought to himself, his eyes scanning each page. Little did he know that Lucy was reading over his shoulder.

"...whoever gave you that book ripped you off." She commented quietly. The young boy jumped in shock and turned around. Standing there was Lucy and Lydia, the latter looking at him with crossed arms.

"W...what?"

"Use any of the rituals in that book, the most you'll get is a mess." Lucy elaborated, gently taking the book and looking through its pages for her.

"But...but I summoned three ghosts with it earlier…" He stammered, which got a bit of a grin from Lucy. Donnie quickly realized that he had just admitted to it, his face falling.

"Three ghosts? Don't you know how dangerous that is?" Lydia scolded him quietly.

"...I just wanted to help my brother…" The little boy replied, sounding like he was about to cry, staring at the floor. "He's always so angry, since his team is always losing…I thought if I could get his team help, he wouldn't be so angry…" Lydia's stern demeanor melted rather quickly as she gently pat him on the back to try and comfort him.

"Here it is." Lucy said as she found the ritual he was talking about. "Hmmm. One functional spell in a pile of rubbish…" She commented.

"Can you tell us about these ghosts you summoned?" Lydia asked him softly.

"...they said their names were Hazel, Toadstool and At...At…"

"Atropa?"

"Yeah."

"The Sappy Face Ghouls…" Lydia frowned as she realized this.

"Who?" Lucy asked, looking to her brother's girlfriend.

"You know them?" Donnie inquired in surprise.

"They're a bunch of trouble making kids from the NeitherWorld." Lydia explained. Normally, she wouldn't mention the afterlife in front of someone who was unfamiliar with it, but as this young child had brought the ghostly pranksters into the living world, she felt he should know what he got himself into. "They formed their own scout group, under the tutelage of...you know who, Lucy." The eight year old goth frowned lightly when she heard this. "They're the ones responsible for all this cheating…"

"Please, don't blame my brother for this...he didn't know…"

"We got that impression, giving his tirade a moment ago." Lucy said. "But the question remains what's going to happen now?"

"Well, if the ghouls are smart, they'll back down try not to cause any more trouble after their latest cheat was discovered." Lydia replied, looking out at the field at the trio of kids in a huddle after time out had ended.

"...and what will they actually do?"

"...double down." Beetlejuice's best friend answered seriously. "Lucy, do you still remember the words to perform Mistafala's Hand?"

"I've had it memorized since after Lincoln and Luna told us about the Scuzzo encounter." Lucy answered, which only confused Donnie.

"Good. Be ready to use it when things inevitably go south."

"But...I don't know where the ghosts are…" Donnie admitted sadly.

"Don't worry about it. I have a pretty good idea…" The young Deetz girl said, her eyes locked on the trio.

"Some guys just don't appreciate it when you help them…" Toadstool said, feigning being insulted.

"Yeah. Totally ungrateful." Atropa agreed, shaking his head.

"Guys...I think Lydia is starting to suspect...and we aren't even out of the first inning." Hazel said to them.

"You know what...I'm getting pretty sick of all this…" The tallest of the three said, his hands on his hips. "I say who cares if she sees through us? I say who cares about keeping up appearances? I say let's just enjoy ourselves."

"...you know what? You're right." The one girl in the group said with a nod and a smirk. "I mean, what's small fry going to do? I don't think he even knows what he's doing."

"Finally!" Toadstool cheered.

"Hey! Are you guys going to get into position, or-!?" Maurice started to shout.

"Why don't you shut it before I shut it for you!?" Atropa snapped back. The whole team, and even a few of the Squirrels gasped, Maurice looking shocked for a moment before his face went entirely red and he started to storm toward the hidden ghouls.

"Who the hell do you think you-!?" He started to rage, but before he could reach them, the black haired boy pointed a finger at him, a near invisible beam of magic streaking through the air. The moment it hit the raging captain, a steel plate clapped over his mouth. The leader of the Warhogs' eyes widened in horror as he tried to pull the plate off his lips, his screams muffled. The players on the field and the audience looked positively stunned at this sight, before some of them started screaming.

"Well...that escalated quickly." Lynn said in surprise, springing to her feet. The cries of fright encouraged the Sappy Face Ghouls, causing them to turn their magical trickery to the sporting equipment. The baseballs suddenly developed little snapping jaws and most of the bats flying into the air and chasing after the teens on the field and their families in the stands. Lynn Sr and Leni tried to help get the other spectators out safely, while Luna and Lana tried to hold off the flying bats and biting balls, using the very bats that were trying to hit them and the others. They weren't alone either. Lynn, Margo, and Francisco were trying to keep the players and officials on the field out of harm's way. Unfortunately for both groups, the baseballs were relentless, so each time they were batted away, they kept right on coming back. This meant they couldn't focus on getting to the Sappy Face Ghouls, who were simply laughing at their frustration and misfortune. Lydia, Lucy and Donnie were forced to take cover under the bleachers as a flock of wooden bats had tried to bash their heads in.

"Didn't think they would have doubled down so quickly…" Lydia said with concern.

"We'll need to banish them now…" Lucy deadpanned. "...but we can't banish them until we can get them out of their possessed forms."

"Any ideas…?" The frightened little boy with them asked.

"I do have one…" The gothic Loud looked up toward where the tomboy twin was stamping upon a broken up ball to keep it from getting back up. She moved quickly across to the home team's spectator seats and quietly related her plan to her younger sister. Once she was on board, Lucy stealthed her was closer to Lynn, who had just snapped one of the living clubs in half with her own bat. "Lynn! I have a plan!" She announced to her older sister, getting her and the troublemaking ghoul scout's attentions.

"Great, but keep it down." The ponytailed sports star said to her, trying to shush her.

"I'm going to distract them so you can catch them off guard!"

"Lucy!"

"Geez...is she stupid or what?" Hazel commented with a laugh.

"They're so adorably dumb at that age." Atropa agreed with a chuckle.

"So, just ignore Little Miss Gloomy Gus?" Toadstool asked quietly, to which his comrades nodded. They focused their efforts on Lynn and her teammates as Lucy circled around to their side, 'trying' to 'get their attention'.

"Hey. Over here. Look at me." She called out in her inside voice. It was all the ghosts could do to not collapse with laughter. Lynn was positively livid, thinking her younger sister just spoiled her own plan by being too loud...wait. Since when did Lucy yell? It was then she took notice of Lana, who was moving commando style across the field to Lucy. Since the Sappy Face Ghouls were ignoring Lucy, they were also ignoring Lana too.

'So that was her plan.' Lynn thought with a smirk. 'Well, better keep their attention.' She decided as she fought even harder to try and get to the trio who ruined their game.

"Give it up! You'll never get the drop on us!" Atropa taunted her.

"No, but I will!" Lana called out. The ghouls were caught off guard as they were suddenly bound together with a lasso. The tomboy twin smirked as she leapt at them and, after some fighting and struggling, had them all tied up, their hands pinned to their sides. She dusted off her hands as she looked over he handiwork. "Done and done."

"Cute trick, livies…" Hazel said with a growl before she grinned too. "But these bodies are loaners." She revealed as she and her friends rose from the possessees, magic surrounding their hands. "We're ghosts! And you can't…"

"Expellivore xertixtie misseran!" Lucy chanted loudly, catching all three in a giant yellow, gloved hand.

"Ack! Hey! What is this!?" Toadstool cried out.

"They're so adorably dumb at that age." Lynn said with a smirk as she approached the trapped ghouls, along with Donnie, the silenced Maurice, her teammates, Lydia and her family.

"Sweet move, Luce." Luna complimented her young goth, looking to her. "Now send them pack-" She then noticed Lucy was looking off in the distance...with a horrified expression. "Sis..?"

"Mellezar pollomey illetoro!" Lucy suddenly exclaimed quickly. The magical hand crushed the ghoul scouts into one big ball of ghost, before hurling them all skyward, the ghouls screaming as they vanished into the horizon.

"So THAT'S how it was supposed to work." Lana commented as she watched the ne'er do well phantoms leave sight. The moment they were gone, all the enchanted gear fell lifelessly to the ground and the plate vanished from Maurice's mouth.

"Whew...that's much better." He said, relieved to be free to talk again.

"Ugh...what happened?" Rachael asked as her senses started to return.

"...did we win?" Marv asked, still a little out of it.

"...no. We didn't." Maurice said sullenly as he started to untie his teammates. "In fact, I'll be shocked if we aren't kicked out of the whole league for this…"

"What for?" Lydia asked him with a bit of a smile.

"...for cheating."

"It wasn't your team cheating." She corrected him. "It was the ghosts acting on their own."

"But they'll probably think the ghosts were summoned by my team…"

"They weren't...it was my fault." Donnie admitted, hanging his head. His older brother just looked at him with raised eyebrows. "I summoned them myself...I thought they would have just joined the team and helped them play better…I didn't think they would actually cheat…"

"Why, Donnie…? Why did you do it?" He asked with an angry frown.

"I did it for you, big brother." He explained, slowly looking up at him. "I thought that...if I could help you, you wouldn't be so angry anymore…" Maurice's expression softened when he heard this.

"That was a foolish thing to do, Donnie...but, I do appreciate the thought behind it." He said, a faint smile on his face as he ruffled his little brother's hair.

"Well, since this game will be called due to...whatever they decide to say happened. Don't know if they'll believe it was ghosts...anyway, perhaps we can hope for a rematch?" Lynn suggested.

"...I don't think so." Maurice said with a sigh. "At least not with me on the Warhogs team…"

"Huh?" The sporty loud and Donnie asked in surprise.

"Donnie's right, I have been getting way too angry about baseball...but if I keep playing on the school team, I'll keep getting angrier. So maybe it's time to step back and take a break...try again in high school or something."

"Do what you got to do, buddy. But maybe we can play again sometime." Lynn said, holding a hand out to him.

"You're on." He answered, shaking her hand in return.

"Lynn...we need to get home...now." Lucy commented, a hint of urgency in her voice.

"What's up, Luce?" Luna asked, looking to the little goth, who was still staring out into the distance. Her family and Lydia all turned their heads to see what had such a firm grasp on her attention...and what they saw was a tremendous surprise. Around where their house would be was a towering structure that looked liked a cluster of giant motherboards, microchips and twisted wires.

"That." She replied bluntly, pointing at the tower.

* * *

 _AN: Two things I need to say before I depart: First, the Sappy Face Ghouls were never really named in the Beetlejuice cartoon, so I thought I would name them after poisonous plants and fungi: And second, sorry for this chapter seeming rushed with the game not going past the first inning. I was losing my patience by the time I pulled the SFG's last trick before they revealed themselves to everyone and ran out of ideas as well. Here's hoping it didn't harm the chapter much, and hopefully the next chapter (a more plot centered one) won't take forever to get out._


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

While the game was underway, back at the Loud House, Lisa's computer was working overtime. It was endlessly searching for information regarding the forced possession, searching practically every site on the Inflammation Superhighway in the NeitherWorld. Thanks to Lisa's program, it could perform this function without her needing to be there. Unfortunately for her, it also meant she wasn't watching where it was going. As a result, it ended up going someplace it shouldn't. Her computer started to spark, shake and flash as spiky, spindly metal fingers started to reach out of her monitor. Meanwhile, outside, LincolnJuice was unleashing a constant stream of magic into Lisa's special target, as the little genius watched from behind a blast shield. The fusion of the one son and Beetlejuice was starting to sweat some, but he managed to maintain control of the beam. "Very well done, you two." The four year old commented, looking at her phone's stopwatch feature. "You've maintained your magic for over four minutes."

"Go for the record, Linc!" Beetlejuice called out from Lincoln's mouth. Unfortunately, Lincoln couldn't hold it any longer and he ended the magical barrage. He took a few deep breaths, collapsing onto the ground from exhaustion.

"S…Sorry, Lisa...but at forty percent...that took a lot out of me." Lincoln gasped.

"It's fine, elder brother. It is still impressive progress." The little genius said, walking over to him to help him sit up.

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice." The middle Loud chanted, which unleashed the ghost with the most from his body, who looked just fine.

"Holding up alright there, Mr President?" BJ asked.

"Yeah. Just need a little rest." Lincoln admitted as he caught his breath.

"Perhaps tomorrow, we can attempt to reach fifty percent of Mr Juice's power." Lisa suggested as she took a moment to check her brother's vitals.

"You really think we're ready?" The middle brother inquired, sounding a little worried.

"I believe so, elder brother. You've come a significant way since you had lost yourself. Your focus and control remain solid, and you've yet to show any sign of losing either in high stress situations." Lisa informed him with a small smile. "I dare say you could handle much more than you think, but taking it slow is still a wise course of action."

"Speaking of course...can you direct me in the direction of Troy?" A voice from behind them. All eyes turned to see a man sized anthropomorphic horse donning the armor of a Persian warrior. He was rubbing the back of his head, looking rather sheepish. "I...think I'm rather lost."

"Er...I'm afraid you're off by several thousand miles in that direction." A dumbfounded Lisa explained, pointing in the vague direction of Persia.

"Thank you, young lady." He responded, shaking her hand before charging off and bellowing "For Prince Paris!"

"Heh. Trojan Horse." Beetlejuice commented to the fourth wall with a chuckle, gesturing with his thumb to the horseman. Lincoln and Lisa were just staring at the humanoid equine in utter confusion. It was then a cluster of strange, cybernetic worms started to slither and wiggle their way down the walls of their house, from the upper floors by the look of it.

"Odd...they look like worms…" Lisa said with a frown, adjusting her glasses.

"Something weird is going on...weirder than usual, I mean." Lincoln said as he stood up. It was at that moment the back door opened and a line of little bearded men with lawn gnome hats carrying pixelated pickaxes came marching out of the house.

"Hi ho. Hi ho. It's off to work we go." The little men sang as they walked along.

"Uh...what exactly are you guys doing?" The one son asked, though he had a feeling he was going to regret asking.

"We're just off to find an information claim." The leader of the group said, whose hat covered his eyes, but not his big, bulbous nose. "We are data miners, after all, and we have families to feed."

"I…see." Lincoln said with a raised eyebrow.

"Wait...a trojan horse...worms...data miners…" Lisa's eyes went as wide as dinner plates as she came to a terrifying conclusion. "By Babbage! My computer!" She exclaimed as she ran into the house, closely followed by Lincoln and Beetlejuice. Inside the house was chaos: Luan and Lola were being plagued by what looked like robotic viruses, Lori was struggling to get her wallet back from as crazed fisherman at the top of the stairs, who had it on a hook, and Rita was wrestling with a glitchy copy of herself, trying to keep it away from Lily. Lisa was rushing upstairs, ignoring it all. Fortunately, she ran right through the phisherman's legs, knocking him forward and sending him careening down the stairs.

"Beetlejuice, go with Lisa!" Lincoln called out to the pranking poltergeist, who flew up after the little genius.

"What's going on?" Lori asked as she unhooked her wallet, looking to her little brother after kicking the unconscious phisherman.

"I'm not sure yet, but Lisa thinks it has to do with her computer…" Lincoln explained, though his attention was on the rest of the family being menaced by literal interpretations of computer issues.

"...Lincoln, go help Luan and Lola. I'll help Mom." The white haired boy nodded as he ran to the nearest closet. Lori, in the meantime, grabbed the glitching Rita from behind, giving her mother the opening she needed to deck her. One solid punch was all it took to cause the duplicate to drop the disguise, turning into a glitchy burglar, complete with striped prison shirt and bandit's mask.

"Identity thief...you know I hate them…" The Loud Mother grumbled. Meanwhile, Lincoln had grabbed a net from the closet before running toward the pair of giant sized viruses cornering his sisters. He swung his net onto the nearest one, causing the two to turn their diamond shaped head toward him. This gave Luan an opening to spray her gag flower at the other computerized injector. The liquid caused it to spark and violently shudder before it collapsed to the floor, out of commission. The one son struggled with the second one for a moment before hurling it toward the fallen Phisherman. When the two made contact, he absorbed the virus, turning green in the face and getting covered in red spots, right before glitching out of existence.

"Whew. Thanks, Linc. I was getting sick of that guy. Hahaha." Luan quipped with a small laugh.

"Welcome. Excuse me!" The white haired boy said before he ran up the stairs to check on Lisa.

* * *

Moments earlier, Lisa and Beetlejuice had just thrown open the door to her room, only to bear witness to something the little genius found utterly horrifying. Her computer monitor had turned into a churning, swirling vortex, spewing out a variety of living examples of malicious software. The mini mastermind gasped, dashing for the computer to unplug it. However, she only got a few steps in when a large, flat barrier sprang up in her path. Upon the side facing her was an advertisement announcing Mayor Maynot's reelection campaign. She tried to go around it, but another wall appeared to block her. "Aww man...pop ups." BJ groaned. "Even I'm not that obnoxious…" He commented before leaning toward the audience. "But I'm trying."

"I don't suppose you plan to do something helpful…" Lisa inquired, looking and sounding quite perturbed. The ghost with the most rolled his eyes and suddenly donned his handy dandy handy man outfit, looking over the scene from the door.

"Whelp, what we got here is your classic pop up problem. Bothersome...but nothing that can't be solved with a little Pop Up Blocker." He said, pulling a caulk gun loaded with a tube of adhesive of the same name. Once Lisa cleared the way, he started spreading the gunk all over the floor where the barriers kept appearing.

"This won't stain the carpet, will it? Mother will be most displeased if it does." The genius toddler said as she hurried past the muck, the pop ups struggling and failing to intervene.

"Does it matter? Next episode, everything will be back to normal." Beetlejuice answered in an aloof manner. Lisa decided to not even comment on that as she pulled the plug on her pc. However, even cutting the power to the computer seemed to have no effect on the power.

"What? But...how?" The thunderstruck scientist asked as she looking between the monitor and the disconnected plug.

"Because you're not in control anymore, criminal…" A quiet, harsh voice said from the corner of the room. Both Lisa and Beetlejuice turned quickly, seeing a tall, gaunt, but powerful zombie-ish being standing there. He was slightly hunched over, wearing a black, sleeveless shirt, torn black pants, black boots and gloves, and a mostly ripped executioner's mask. Only his mouth and eyes were visible; with his eyes being yellow, pupiless and bloodshot, and his mouth carved into a creepy grin with yellowed, sharp teeth. On his back was a giant axe, with a belt of hatchets around his waist. The pranking poltergeist's eyes bugged out of his head at the sight of him as he screamed.

"GAAAAAAAH! The EXEcutioner!"

"The who?"

"He's a living computer virus, who punishes anyone in the NeitherWorld who catches him."

"Well summarizes, Beetle-Punk." The EXEcutioner said as he casually stepped forward. "And right now, child...YOU are my target."

"Me? But...I wasn't even at my computer when-"

"Irrelevant. It is still your computer, so now you must pay!" Beetlejuice raised his arms, ready to juice the guy, but he was quick. Very quick. He drew a hatchet and hurled it right at the goofing ghost, hitting him square in the forehead. BJ froze in place, crossing his eyes to look at the throwing axe.

"...nice shot…" He groaned before he fell over backwards. Lisa made a mad dash for the tesla cannon, but the sentient virus was able to grab her by the back of her turtleneck.

"Ah ah ah. No you don't." He said with a sinister snicker. "No one escapes from the EXEcutioner."

"...I don't suppose I could get let off with a simple warning." Lisa asked in a deadpan voice.

"He he he he. No. No you couldn't." He told her before walking to the window. He phased through the wall, while carrying her out of the open window before floating up to the roof of the house. "But before I exact your punishment...we need a more fitting environment." He added, looking around for a moment before looking out into the back yard. "...that will do." He said, holding out a clawed hand and raising it toward the sky. A few seconds passed, and then the ground started to shake. A sharp spire pierced its way through the ground, rising like a rocket. Connected to the spire was a series of computer chips, motherboards, and wires, all forming an imposing technological tower. On it's way up, it actually knocked down the back wall of the house. The self righteous virus nodded in satisfaction as he started to float toward the top with Lisa. Just then…

"Louds!" Mr Grouse shouted leaning out the upstairs window. "Shut yer…traps?" His tirade was cut short when he saw the newly formed structure in their backyard. "...nope. Don't want to get involved with that…" He decided with a shake of his head, shutting his window hastily.

* * *

Back in Lisa's room seconds earlier, Lincoln had just arrived, frantically looking for his little sister as Beetlejuice pulled the hatchet from his forehead. "Beetlejuice! Where's Lisa!?"

"I'm fine...thanks for asking." BJ said sarcastically. Lincoln was having none of that, grabbing the ghost by his lapel.

"Where. Is. Lisa!?" He growled.

"Alright! Alright! The EXEcutioner got her!" The spirit replied, holding his hands between the angry boy and himself.

"Why didn't you stop him!?"

"Does this answer your question!?" BJ snapped, gesturing to the split in his forehead. "I tried, but he's too quick for me." The one son slowly let him go, trying to calm down enough to be rational.

"Alright...I'm sorry. I'm just worried...now, where did this EXEcutioner go?" The moment he asked that, the ground started to shake. The white haired boy and the goofing ghost quickly fled Lisa and Lily's room and dashed across the hall to the Twins' chamber. The moment the door was opened, they noticed the entire wall was missing.

"This is just a guess...but I'd say up there." BJ said, pointing up at the tower.

"We have to help her!" Lincoln shouted, backing up and getting ready to get a running start.

"Whoa! Cool your jets!" BJ said, a jet pack suddenly appearing on Lincoln's back. "Even if you made that jump, no way you can get up that tower quick enough, or stand a chance against Mr Chop Chop when you get up there."

"...and you said he was too quick for you to fight…" The white haired boy said with a frown, his fists clenched. "...but if we took him together…"

"What!? You can't be serious!?" The ghost with the most said, looking at the boy like he had gone mad.

"Yeah. You've got the power, and living in this house does wonders for your reflexes. I think we could do it."

"You'd need at least fifty percent of my power to take him on...you think you can handle that?"

"One way to find out…" Lincoln replied seriously, gazing toward the top of the tower.

"Though I do not like to boast

The man with the plan and ghost with the most

Let's get together for a power boost

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!"

The moment he finished his chant, the pranking spirit was absorbed into the young man's head and, in a matter of seconds, the two once more because LincolnJuice.

"It's SHOWTIME!" They declared, a green toothed grin appearing on his face.

* * *

Meanwhile, out front, the home based Loud family members had just emerged from the house to see what was going on. One look at the computer themed tower that had sprouted from their own backyard left them paralyzed with shock and fright. "Where did that even come from!?" Lori exclaimed, her jaw nearly touching the ground.

"I have no idea...I've never seen something like this…" Rita admitted, her eyes wide as dinner plates.

"What's that up there?" Luan asked, pointing at the form currently soaring to the top of the structure. Lola squinted her eyes a bit as she tried to get a good look.

"...It's Lincoln! Or rather, Lincoln-Juice!" She exclaimed, being the only sister present who had really seen the fusion of her only brother and his possessor.

"Lincoln-Juice?" Lori inquired, looking to the pageant princess.

"Something must be very wrong, if he's tapping into Beetlejuice's power…" The Loud mother said, trembling with worry.

"...I think we've got problems of our own too…" The family jester said, pointing to the front door as viruses, worms, and digital trojans were trying to all leave at once.

"...don't let them get out." Lori suddenly said, grabbing a rake from the lawn. She had a bad feeling that letting these things loose in Royal Woods could be a serious problem. Rita handed Lily off to Lola and told her to hide out in Lincoln's tree house as Luan tossed her a shovel and picked up an old, busted muffler from the garage for herself. As the living embodiment of computer issues finally started surging out of the house, Lori, Luan and Rita prepared to hold the line as best they could.

* * *

Up at the top of the tower, it was a grim looking scene. Lisa was wrapped up in rope, her back on a slab and her neck on a chopping block. She wiggled and struggled, but the rope was much too strong for her. Meanwhile, the executioner virus was typing rapidly on a keyboard connected to a gutted monitor and screen, his creepy grin growing. Set up all around the area, floating web cameras were set up, all pointed toward him. "What exactly do you think you're doing?" Lisa inquired, thinking if she kept him talking, she could delay him long enough for her to think of a plan.

"Simple. I wish to send a message to all the livies here." He explained, his focus on his typing. "Which is why your punishment is going to be broadcast live, all across their internet."

"A message? What could you possibly have to say to the world?"

"You'll see soon enough." He answered in almost a hiss. Within the minute, his hideous visage filled every screen hanging around the tower. "There we go. Now I just need to stream this and…" The moment he tapped the enter key, his face suddenly appeared on tv screens, computer monitors, phones and tablets all over the world. "People of the mortal world!" He declared, facing the nearest camera so they could every inch of his face. "I am the EXEcutioner, bringer of swift cyberspace justice! I was brought here because one among you violated NeitherWorld law and allowed their computer to become infected by my virus. I am here to exact justice upon the criminal in question." He gestured toward the restrained Lisa, who was suddenly the focus of every camera. "She is guilty of accessing forbidden areas of the NeitherWorld cyberspace...and her punishment is DEATH!" He exclaimed, pulling his giant axe from behind him.

"Isn't that somewhat extreme?" Lisa asked in a deadpan voice. "Besides, don't I have a right to a fair trial?"

"You already had the trial. And I was the judge, and the jury...and I dub you guilty!" He strode over to her, standing beside her with both hands on the headsman's axe.

"...Don't I at least get a last request? A last meal? Last words?" she asked, the toddler starting to sweat.

"All denied." He spat. "And don't you fret, mortals. After I'm done with her...I'm coming for you all next!" The EXEcutioner shouted, pointing toward the viewers. "...For the crime of...well, I'll think of something." He said with a sinister chuckle. He readied his weapon, leering down at the bespectacled little girl. "And now...Off with your head!" He bellowed, raising the blade over his head. Lisa closed her eyes, bracing herself for the strike. Before he could swing, though, the sound of a smoke bomb bursting came from nearby. Both sets of eyes looked toward the dark purple smoke.

"I am the terror that flaps in the night!" Lincoln's voice exclaimed from the smoke. The ax wielder just stood there, looking bamboozled before glancing to an equally confused Lisa.

"I'm just as lost as you are." She responded, looking to the smoke.

"I am the firewall that denies your access!" He continued. The digital headsman lowered his ax before he reached for his hatchet belt. "I AM-" Before he could finish his sentence, the EXEcutioner quickly hurled the throwing ax into the cloud, which resulted in a satisfying thunk. He snickered cruelly.

"Idiot." He hissed. Right as he send that, he felt a powerful force slam right into his back, knocking his weapon from his hand and sending him flying clear across the platform, and right off the tower. Standing where he used to stand was a smirking Lincoln-Juice, donning a football player's outfit.

"-not stupid enough to be standing INSIDE the smokescreen." He commented with a Beetlejuice like snicker.

"Your timing is impeccable." She told him with a slight smile as her ghostly empowered brother untied her with a snap of his fingers.

"Are you alright?" He asked her as she sat up, adjusting her glasses.

"Physically, I am. However, I suspect some level of therapy may be required to-" She started to say, just as the furious EXEcutioner reappeared, flying right at Lincoln-Juice with a roar.

"Hold that thought." The fused young man said, suddenly donning a baseball uniform and a bat. He turned quickly, both hands on the bat, and swung, home run hitting the sentient virus clear across the sky. "Go ahead."

"On second thought, this conversation might be best saved for when we aren't being threatened by a hack happy maniac…" Lisa suggested.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Her brother responded, now in a hockey player's uniform. In less than a second, the virus man returned, a hand axe in each hand. He threw them right at the young man, but he lifted his stick to repel them both before slap shotting the ax wielder back into the horizon.

"I could almost admire that level of persistence…" The little brainiac commented, just as her brother quick changed again, this time looking like a cricket player. He twirled his bat as he turned to face the direction he knew their assailant would be returning from, showboating a little bit with a grin.

"Persistence, or stupidity?" Lincoln-Juice asked, ready to bat. It was right then the EXEcutioner returned, his bloodshot eyes glowing red. Just before the fusion of Lincoln and BJ could swing, the living virus stopped short, arms crossed in front of him, glaring at him. "...what?"

"Seriously? Cricket!?"

"What's wrong with cricket?"

"Nobody understands cricket!" The EXEcutioner snapped, swiping his arm in the air in front of him. "You have to know what a crumpet is to understand cri-" His thought was momentarily interrupted as Lincoln-Juice's bat smashed into his face, sending him hurtling off the tower one last time. "-CKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!"

"Ok. I had my fun." The spectral infused boy said, dropping the club and grabbing Lisa. "Let's scram before he gets back." He said, soaring in the opposite direction that the self appointed dealer of cyber justice had gone.

* * *

Back down with the Louds, it was a tough struggle, but they were barely managing to hold off the cyber intruders attempting to invade Royal Woods. Fortunately for them, the front door formed a perfect choke point, keeping them from being utterly overwhelmed as they smashed the unwelcome intruders in their faces with a shovel, rake and muffler. Unfortunately for them, this meant they needed to find another path out. A trojan horse hurled a chair through the bay window, while computer worms crawled their way up the chimney. Lori was forced to move around the side of the house to combat the worms, while Luan turned her attention to the windows, leaving their mother to cover the door solo. "This...is bad." Rita commented breathlessly as she avoided getting caught on the hook of another phisherman.

"There's just too many of them for use to handle ourselves." Lori agreed, tearing apart the digital wrigglers as they tried to squirm their way down the wall.

"At least it can't get much worse." Luan commented as she kicked a pop up spawner back into the house, causing a domino effect for the invaders trying to escape behind it.

"Stop right there!" A voice shouted from behind them. The Louds, the cyberspace invaders, everyone froze in place, looking toward the source. A man sized being in a large trench coat and hat keeping his face completely obscured stood beside the tree where the treehouse holding Lola and Lily stood, holding a torch in his hand. "Your children's fates are now in my hands!"

"Oh shoot...ransomware…" Luan groaned as her older sister glared at her.

"Unless you pay twenty thousand dollars in electronic currancy in the next five minutes...they will be destroyed, permanently." He threatened, pointing up at the treehouse. The trio could hear Lily crying up there, and a frantic Lola trying to calm her. "Your time starts now!"

"Will you accept pounds!?" Came a voice from seemingly nowhere.

"Of course. Just let me cal-" The ransomware started to say, but he was interrupted by the sudden introduction of Lynn's cleats to his face, sending him flying away from the tree and dropping his torch. She growled at him as she stamped out the burning torch next.

"...paid in full."

"Lynn!" Lori, Luan and Rita all exclaimed.

"Somebody call for reinforcements!?" Lana called out as Vanzilla came to a screeching halt on the street in front of the house, the Loud children, Lynn Sr and Lydia all storming out of the minivan.

"Your timing literally couldn't be better." Lori said with a big smile.

"What's even going on here!?" The Loud father asked, looking lost and frightened.

"We're not entirely sure." Rita replied, stepping back as Luna and Lynn took over at the door, Lana joined Luan at the window, and Lucy helped Lori by the side of the house. Meanwhile, Leni scaled the ladder up to the tree house to help protect Lola and Lily.

"...this looks like a NeitherWorld virus…" Lydia commented, looking up at the tower of computer parts. "Lisa's computer must have caught something bad…" Just then, Lincoln-Juice dove down from the tower and soared right over their heads, holding Lisa by his side.

"Whoa! Was that Lincoln!?" Luna asked in surprise.

"No...well not entirely." The gothic teen commented, her concern growing. "That was Lincoln-Juice...this must be more serious than I-" Right as she was speaking, The EXEcutioner came barreling after the ghostly empowered boy and his genius little sister, screaming in rage while wielding his headsman axe. "-thought…" LincolnJuice chuckled in a cocky manner as he swayed and weaved away from the living virus giant ax as he tried to slash at the two of them.

"Ha ha! Can't hit me!" He taunted as he evaded a hatchet thrown by the EXEcutioner, blowing a loud raspberry at him, further fueling his anger. "Not that it would matter if he did. With your ghostly powers, losing my head wouldn't affect me much."

"Er...actually, Linc…" Beetlejuice said, sounding just a little nervous. "When EXEcutioner's axe cuts off a head, it stays off. Even if you're a ghost."

"Wait...really?" Lincoln asked, just barely managing to duck under the latest swing of the giant axe.

"Yeeeeeeeeyup."

"...time for the afterburners!" The one son cried out as he tried to fly faster. However, the spectral head chopper was easily able to keep up.

"Here. Let me help you with that." BJ offered, using one of Lincoln's hands to pull a can from his pocket. A can labeled Baked Beans and Beetles. Instantly able to see where this was going, he placed the can on top of his head (just in time for the axe to slice the top off), then reached back into his pocket to pull out a gas mask.

"I apologize in advance, Lisa." He said, handing her the mask.

"Do what you must, you two." She replied, hastily putting the face protector on, just as LincolnJuice chugged down the can of beans and bugs.

"Now that we're all fueled up…" BJ started,just as they had to turn sharply to avoid getting hit by dual thrown axes. "...let's hit the gas!" He exclaimed, a massive flame shooting from his backside, briefly engulfing their pursuer as LincolnJuice surged forward, far outpacing him. The EXEcutioner was burnt to a crisp, blinking in shock and surprise for a moment before shaking off the soot and dust off of him and resuming the chase.

"What's the plan now? We can't simply fly forever." Lisa pointed out, her voice muffled by the gas mask.

"Don't worry, Coperni-Cassie." The ghost with the most said. "This time, i have a plan, but we gotta get back to your place." The ghostly empowered boy made a sudden turn back toward the Loud house (nearly getting thrown off course because they were going so fast), managing to fly right past the axe carrying cyber maniac before he even knew what was happening. By the time they had gotten back, their speed boost had run out, but the spectral joker was sure they wouldn't need it anymore. They soared around back and smashed through the wall leading into Luna and Luan's closet, crashing out the other side seconds later. In no time at all, the EXEcutioner flew right through the very path they had created, staying right on their tail as they turned into Lisa's room. Meanwhile, Lisa popped her head up from within the closet, making sure the coast was clear.

"Hmmm. I didn't think that would work...but I'm not complaining." The little genius commented quietly, watching as a new crowd of worms and viruses started to storm downstairs. "...I will need to do something about that...but how to get to my lab without garnering attention?" she wondered. Her eyes scanned the room for a moment before she spotted the vents. "...well, if Lucy can do it, I should be able to manage just fine."

* * *

At that exact moment, LincolnJuice had just flown into her room, carrying something that looked...kinda like her if you didn't really look too deep into it. However, what he was carrying wasn't all that important. Where he was going, however, was. "Brace yourself, Mr President! We're surfing the Neither Web!" BJ exclaimed as they dove head long into the portal spawned from Lisa's computer. Within the blink of an eye, the fusion of the man with the plan and the ghost with the most found themselves on a surf board, gliding along a fleshy road covered with the worst rash Lincoln had ever seen. All around them were exit signs, advertising the hundreds of thousands of websites that made up the afterlife's internet, which was as massive as the mortals'.

"Huh...you really weren't kidding." He commented, looking down at the pathway they were hovering over. "It is the Inflammation Superhighway."

"It sure is, kid. Now hang ten and watch out. Smiley probably won't be far behind." Beetlejuice warned him, the two looking back just in time to see the EXEcutioner appear in the distance, flying right for them. Lincoln ducked just in time to avoid the blade of the cyber headsman's ax, then kicked the surfboard up and into the back of his head before making like a bolt of lightning in the opposite direction.

"I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR THIS!" He bellowed after them, rubbing the sore spot in the back of his head.

"So, what do we do now, Beetlejuice?"

"You got your phone?" He wasn't sure where the grim grinning ghost was going with this, but he pulled his cell from his pocket. He wasn't getting a signal...at least, not in the living world, but that didn't seem to matter. Using the arms for a moment, Beetlejuice sent a hasty text message while Lincoln kept watch for the ax man virus, who was angrier than ever as he flew right after them, "Ok, Linc. Stay the course until you get to IP 3778."

"If you say so, BJ...I hope we can make it that far." The empowered one son commented, flying as fast as he could in this unknown place. He could just barely keep ahead of the EXEcutioner at this rate. It was fortunate for him he hadn't used a lot of Beetlejuice's magic before this point, but even he knew that he couldn't fly for eternity. After about five minutes of this chase, the phantom fused young man spotted the exit BJ mentioned. It was barely noticeable, surrounded by a bunch of links to websites Lincoln couldn't even guess what they were about. though he did notice a lot of them had triple xs on them. No time to dwell on that, though. He had more pressing matters to attend to, like how he could lose his head if he wasn't careful. After a sharp reverse to throw their hack happy hater off and force him to turn suddenly, LincolnJuice made a dive for the exit, phasing through the sign. In less than a second, he found himself it what looked like a digital suburban neighborhood, designed by Tim Burton.

"Now you gotta look for a place named Nort or Nortie's." The beetle eating ghoul informed his possessee, just as a hatchet nearly shaved Lincoln's turkey tail off. "Looks like our special friend is still on our tail."

"I hope you know what you're doing." The currently greenish yellow haired boy said, wincing a bit as he checked his hair, making sure he didn't get any new bald spots.

"Surrender now and accept your fate, criminals!" The EXEcutioner yelled, starting to gain. "You will eventually tire! I will never tire!"

"Why don't you just re-tire!?" LincolnJuice responded, pointing a free finger over his shoulder, sending a storm of steel belted wheels at him. It didn't stop the spectral vigilante, but it certainly slowed him down, as he had to block the tires with his ax handle, and slash and hack them to ribbons to avoid getting hit. "Hey, Beetlejuice...why doesn't he just throwing magic at us?"

"He's not a real ghost, kid. He's just a computer program given life. He has no magic."

"Thank goodness for small blessings, I guess...though he still has that huge flipping axe." Lincoln commented. It didn't take long for the EXEcutioner to get past the flood of rubber tires and start to catch back up. However, Lincoln could see a name on a cyber mailbox ahead to the right: an email address with Nort in the name.

"Ok, kid! When I give the signal, you throw Lisa one way, we go the other! Got it!" Beetlejuice shouted through LincolnJuice's mouth.

"What!? Are you craz-" Lincoln started to ask, but before he could finish speaking.

"SCATTER!" BJ exclaimed, hurling 'Lisa' into the website behind Nort's mailbox just as LincolnJuice turned sharply in the other direction, going over the opposite website. Without a moment's hesitation, the living virus turned to go after Lisa. She was his primary target, after all. It was her computer that summoned him. He could go after Beetlejuice later. The moment he crossed through the digital door of the website, he found himself in what looked like a prison block. An empty prison block, but still a prison block. He didn't really notice or care, however. His focus was purely on his target, currently face down on the ground. He flew right at her, the manic grin still on his face as he raised his weapon.

"EXECUTE!" He screamed as he swung the axe down. It sliced through the neck like butter, sending candy falling out from the body. "...what in the hell!?" He asked after a moment of shock, investigating more closely. 'Lisa' was actually a pinata, one of Luan's to be more precise. "...so, they think they're comedians, do they…?" He growled, turning to leave. However, not only did the door shrink to a pinprick, but a towering wall of searing fire blocked his path. "What the!?"

"I got one!" A nasally voice sounded from seemingly nowhere. The headsman looked upwards, seeing a screen above him. On that screen was an excited looking, chubby, one eyes monster with a coke bottle monocle, braces on his teeth, a white button up shirt complete with a pocket protector and at least ten arms. He was clapping two of his hands together excitedly. "I got one! And what a beauty of a virus!"

* * *

On the other side of the screen, the bloated monster computer enthusiast was beside himself with joy. His room was small (compared to his size and bulk), but had two desks with at least four computer monitors, four sets of keyboards and mice, and three computer towers. His bed was large and well made and neat, much like his room. Not a spot of dust could be found, not a piece of paper out of place. The sloppiest thing inside the room was the tangle of wires behind his workstation (though not from lack of trying to organize it). "Auntie! Auntie Virus!" He called out with pride and happiness. "Come look!" Within moments, a small, thin monster woman with a single eye, long spindly arms, a beehive hairdo, and nearly twenty tentacles instead of legs crawled her way into the room and looked into one of the many screens.

"Well, would you look at that? Your first virus trapped, Norton." She said happily as she gave her nephew a hug. "I'm so proud of you...wait...is that?" Auntie Virus leaned in closer. "Oh my! The EXEcutioner! That's a high profile virus." She commented, watching as the frustrated head chopper tried, and failed, to pass the firewall. "Norton A. Virus, this is magnificent for your first catch! This is going to look wonderful on your portfolio when you're ready to go professional." The spaghetti thin monster woman giggled with glee. "I must call your parents. They are going to be pleased as punch!" She fled the room with all due haste, looking for a telephone. Meanwhile, LincolnJuice emerged from Nort's phone, grinning.

"Doesn't hurt that there's one heck of a reward for dealing with The EXEcutioner, eh?" Beetlejuice commented through Lincoln's mouth, the fused young man lounging in mid air.

"Beetlejuice, I have to admit, I was skeptical when you said you could hand me a virus to trap, but you pulled through." Nort said, smiling broadly up at him. "Not only did you help me catch my first one, but it was one of the biggest ones out there."

"Sooooo…we're square now?" BJ asked, a hopeful hint in his voice.

"We're square." The bulky virus hunter nodded enthusiastically. "In fact, we're so square, I almost owe you one."

"You owed him one, Beetlejuice?" Lincoln inquired, raising an eyebrow as he looked at his reflection in one of the screens.

"The kid helped me clean out my hard drive and straighten out my motherboard." The goofing ghost said, pulling a car engine with a computer cable attached, which was revving like it was trying to race away, and a plank of wood with a large curly wig, pointed glasses and a pair of lips coated in lipstick.

"And it was about time you did it, young man." The motherboard scolded him. "And when are you going to clean up your desktop? It's almost as big a pigsty as your room." He hastily put both away, while Lincoln chuckled a little.

"And, as you could imagine...I was kinda short on cash when the time to pay came, so I told him I'd do him a solid."

"You can consider that solid done, Beetlejuice." Nort told him with a nod. "Now, make yourself scarce before Auntie gets back, and she decides to disinfect you too."

"Color me gone." He replied, a paintbrush reaching down from the ceiling, causing LincolnJuice to vanish with each stroke of the brush.

* * *

Earlier, back in the Loud House, even with all the Louds and Lydia covering all the front exits, it still wasn't enough. Not only was the swarm headed toward the front starting to become overwhelming, but some of them were starting to exit from the back of the house, where the wall had been taken down. Most of the Louds, apart from maybe Lynn Jr, were starting to really get tired, and no way could the sporty sister handle everything solo. Worms, viruses, trojan horses, phishermen, the whole nine yards were pouring from the house, forcing them all to fall back. It seemed like everyone one they deleted, two more were taking their place. Inside the house, however, the vent leading into Lisa and Lily's room had popped open, the little genius landing on the rug before running as fast as her little legs could carry her to her computer. "Ok...I may not be able to shut the computer down…" She said to herself, typing like her life depended on it (which in fact it did). "However, let's see if I can reverse the flow of the portal...preferably before the next wave of trouble comes…"

* * *

"It's no good." An exhausted Lori commented, breathing heavily, unable to hold up her rake any longer.

"There's just too many of them…" Lana groaned as she struggled to keep a trio of trojan horses getting away with her lasso.

"I don't think there's a spell powerful enough for this situation…" Lucy said, hope draining from her voice.

"Well, I'm not going down without a fight!" Lynn Jr yelled, sweat pouring down her face, her dented metal bat held tight in her hands. "The only way past me is over my dead body!" She bellowed; and by the look of it, the horde of invaders from the NeitherWorld cyberspace were just fine with that. She grit her teeth, her hands holding the bat so hard, it almost cut off circulation to the fingers. Before the final battle could start, however, they all froze in place. Then, an invisible force started to pull them back toward the house, as if they were being sucked up by an invisible vacuum cleaner. Within a matter of seconds, each and every last worm, trojan and virus was pulled off their feet (or whatever they had), pulled back into the house and right toward Lisa's lab. The doorway leading to the room with the computer was busted down by the sheer number of internet intruders being pulled through and sucked into the portal. Lisa held on to her chemistry table, smirking a bit as her plan seemed to work. The reversal was pulling all the threats back into her computer; not precisely where they belonged, but it was better than letting them into reality. She watched and waited, until she spotted the first things to pass through the computer: the data miners (spinning through the air, like pinwheels), the first group of worms, and finally, the first trojan horse, who was clawing at the rug in a vain attempt to resist the suction. Once he had been returned to cyberspace, Lisa returned to the keyboard.

"Now, for a desperate move…" Lisa muttered, starting to work like crazy on the keyboard. As she worked, the computer tower started to smoke and spark. "Excellent." The toddler mastermind said quietly. "And now...total overload." She typed in a few more instructions into her PC, causing several infinite loops to happen. She quickly dove out of her room just as her tower exploded, sending pieces flying everywhere. Fortunately, it did the job, shutting the portal into the Inflammation Superhighway for good.

"What just happened?" Lynn Sr asked as soon as all went quiet. The family and Lydia hurriedly ran back into the house to check it out. As the ponytailed athlete, family joker and the family rocker started to search the first floor, Lisa stepped to the top stair, looking somewhat pleased.

"You needn't fear, family unit and friend Lydia. The threat of the invaders from the Inflammation Superhighway is no more." She explained, wiping some sweat from her face.

"It is? What happened?" Lori asked as she slumped down in an easy chair.

"Once LincolnJuice aided me in escaping the EXEcutioner-" Lisa started.

"The what?" Leni interrupted, looking confused.

"Remember what Beetlejuice said about the guy who caught a virus and lost his head?" Lydia inquired in response. "The EXEcutioner was the cause of it. I don't know a lot about him, but I know he's seriously bad news."

"Indeed, Lydia." The toddler in the green sweater agreed, a hint of irritation in her tone. "The virus had attempted to take my own head, but our brother, empowered with Beetlejuice's powers, confronted him and quite literally saved my neck. He managed to help me evade his axe long enough to lure him back into cyberspace, I imagine."

"Where is LincolnJuice now?" Rita asked, noticing the lack of her only son in the room. Lisa's eyes widened in horror.

"I...don't know." The little genius replied, and very concerned about that fact.

"Present." Lincoln piped up as he appeared suddenly right in the living room, causing everyone but Lydia and Lucy to jump in surprise. He was laying on his back on nothing, smiling confidently at them.

"Lincoln, Beetlejuice...thank goodness you two are alright." Lisa said as she sighed right relief, started to slowly descend the stairs.

"Like there was a doubt?" BJ said cockily. "The magic of the ghost with the most, with the brain and reflexes of the man with the plan? Old man Chop Chop never stood a chance."

"I was concerned that I had accidentally sealed you in the NeitherWorld internet when I caused my computer to explode."

"Your computer exploded!?" Lynn Sr asked, his hands on his head, looking more than worried.

"I'm afraid it was the only option. After I reversed the flow of the portal and brought the intruders back to cyberspace, I had to overload my computer to get it to shut off." Lisa explained, shaking her head. "But do not worry. I have insurance on my computer in case such an unlikely event. The government will replace it in due time." The Loud father seemed relieved; after all, it was an insanely expensive computer.

"Nice move there, brainiac." BJ said, nodding Lincoln's head. "Well, while you were dealing with the cyber creeps, Mr President and I brought The EXEcutioner into a trap. He won't be bothering ANYONE, living or dead, again."

"Thank goodness…" The Loud mother said, looking like her heart had started beating again after hearing that.

"It took Beetlejuice giving me about fifty percent of his power to handle him." Lincoln added.

"How are you feeling, by the way, Lincoln?" His second youngest sister inquired with a tilted head.

"I feel fine." The one son said. "I didn't feel the temptation to abuse his power this time."

"Good. It probably wasn't that large of a jump to go from forty to fifty, but knowing you could handle that much power, even with the stress of worrying about my safety, is encouraging." Lisa said, looking pleased as LincolnJuice floated down onto the couch.

"Yeah...but I think it's time for me and BJ to have some time apart." He said. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice." In the blink of an eye, the one son returned to normal and the ghost with the most reappeared right next to him.

"Whew. Good to be back to my handsome self." BJ said, lounging back against the couch like he owned the place.

"I don't know about the rest of you...but after that, I need a nap." Lincoln said, standing up. He did look pretty tired; after all, all that flying he needed to do wore him out.

"You and the rest of us too." Lana agreed with a yawn.

"I think Lori would agreed, but…" Luan gestured to the oldest of the Loud sisters, who was already sawing logs in the easy chair.

"I think all of us could benefit from a little rest." Rita said, looking around at all the exhausted children.

"But, what are we going to do about the damage to the house, and that tower in the backyard?" Lincoln asked, remembering the entire back wall having been knocked down.

"I got it covered, Mr President." BJ responded, snapping his fingers. A whole armies of Mr Beetlemen suddenly appeared, all rushing out into the backyard. With their combined effort, they lifted the fallen section of wall and put it back in place. While half of them were sealing it where it belonged, the other half started tearing down the tower like a colony of termites. Within a few minutes, the wall looked good as new, and the tower was just a pile of scrap in the backyard.

"Efficient." Lisa commented, looking out at the backyard from the newly repaired kitchen window. "I think I will search through the pile, see if I can salvage anything, later." With that out of the way, the children and two grown ups all headed for their rooms, Leni taking a detour to drop Lily off in her crib. The only ones who hadn't headed to bed were Lori (who no one wanted to wake up), Lincoln and Lisa. The second youngest Loud took hold of Lincoln's arm before he could go. "Elder brother...before you take a siesta...I just wanted to thank you for saving my life."

"No need for thanks, Lisa." Her brother said with a soft smile. "I wouldn't let anyone hurt my sisters, young or old, if I have the power to stop them." He told her. "...and sometimes even if I don't."

"Nevertheless…" Lisa said, just before Lisa gave him a tight hug around the waist. He blinked in surprise, as the little genius didn't hand out hugs that often. He gave her a warm hug in return before he went over to Lydia to see her back home. Meanwhile, Lisa then made her way over to Beetlejuice, who was channel surfing since he had the tv to himself. "And while I am giving proper kudos, I must say I am appreciative of the role you played in my rescue."

"Ah, it was mostly your brother doing all that. All I did was lend him some power and set up the trap for the chop happy chappy." BJ said, not looking to the toddler as he tried to find something to watch.

"Acknowledged, but still, you still played a pivotal role, not just in keeping my head connected to my neck, but in keeping Lincoln safe as well. I won't say I am any more thrilled to know you than when we first met, but I still believe in giving proper credit where it is due. Thank you, Beetlejuice. You've earned a certain amount of my respect."

"Think nothing of it, kiddo." BJ said, finally finding something on tv; a new episode of Mall Wing Wars. He smirked as he made himself comfortable on the couch, getting ready to watch a new string of sabotage, backstabbing and drama.

"Very well. I shall leave you to your show. Until next time." Lisa said, turning away from the pranking phantom and heading back up to her room, where she knew she had some cleaning up to do.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The bustle of activity was nothing out of the ordinary for the Loud House. When you have a family as large as theirs, the house tends to be very busy. However, the reason for this activity was what made it unusual: It was March 31st. Meaning tomorrow is April 1st, April Fools Day. Anyone who knew the Louds that this was Luan's favorite day, and the day she pranks anyone and everyone who dared set foot on the property. Family, friends, strangers, it hardly mattered. Anyone was fair game. So, naturally, The Louds were using the day (all day) to prepare themselves for the upcoming Prank-pocalypse. Rita and Lynn Sr had planned to spend most of the day at Aunt Ruth's with Lily (not a favored idea for the Loud father, but given the choice, it was the lesser of two evils). Meanwhile, Lori had the sisters gathered together in her room (minus Lily and Luan, of course) to discuss their options. "Ok, everyone...tomorrow is A Day…" Lori said with a serious tone, standing at the desk where she usually stood. "We have less than twenty four hours to come up with a way to save ourselves from the prank storm."

"Wait...someone is missing." Leni pointed out, sitting on her own bed. "Lincoln isn't here."

"Linc was on the phone when I went to go get him." Lynn said, sitting against the closet door and gesturing toward her brother's room with her thumb. "Think he was talking to Lyds."

"We don't have time to wait for him. We'll just have to make a plan and either include him after we decide or hope he has a plan of his own." Lori said. "Now...does anyone have any suggestions?"

"My bunker proved to be an effective defense previously. We could confine ourselves-" Lisa started.

"No dice, sis. Everyone in this house knows the code to get in." Luna pointed out, sitting on Leni's modeling pedestal.

"...ah yes...I really need to change it." She commented quietly to herself.

"We could just go away from the house." Lana suggested, sitting beside Leni.

"Where? Mom and Dad are going to be taking the van." Lola countered, sitting in the one chair in the room.

"We could go to the mall!" Leni exclaimed with an expectant smile.

"...Leni...how are we going to get everyone to the mall without Vanzilla?" Lori asked, somewhat exasperated.

"Plus, what's Lincoln gonna do at the mall? Not to mention those of us who don't have a lot of cash." Lynn pointed out.

"Lynn makes a good point." The oldest of the siblings said with a nod. "We'd need to pick someone we could all enjoy, which is local as well, if we're going to do something outside the house pretty much all day."

"That doesn't leave us a lot of options…" Luna admitted, adopting a thinker position.

"How about the park?" Lola piped up.

"All day?" Luna inquired. "Plus, it's supposed to rain tomorrow."

"Dang...it's like all the universe is against us…" Lynn grumbled, crossing her arms and looking down at the floor. Things go quiet for a moment as the sisters started to really think hard about what they were going to do.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lincoln was just finishing up a talk on his phone. As Lynn had suspected, he was talking to Lydia. "So, you're good with the idea?" He asked her with a relaxed smile.

"It sounds good to me." Lydia replied, which made Lincoln's smile grow. "It'll be nice for us to tour the NeitherWorld, without being chased by geriatric bikers."

"Hahaha. Yeah. So, I'll meet you at BJ's Roadhouse tomorrow morning?"

"It's a date."

"Awesome. See you then, Lydia."

"See you Lincoln." He hung up the phone, not noticing Luan was standing at the door with a smirk on her face, arms folded as she leaned against the door frame.

"Well well, look at you, Romeo." She said with a chuckle, getting his attention.

"Luan!? Uh...hey. What's up?" He asked with a nervous smile.

"Calm down, Linc. It's not Pranksgiving yet. Besides, I'm here to make a little deal with you." She said, moving into the room and stepping in front of him.

"...what kind of little deal?" He asked suspiciously.

"For April Fools this year, I'd like a partner to help me with my pranking, and I could think of no one better than my bud, Beetlejuice." Lincoln gulped when he heard that. If his sisters knew that he had accepted this deal, they would have his head. "So my deal is...if you let Beetlejuice work with me, I'll give you immunity next April Fools day."

"...really?" The white haired boy inquired, wondering if he heard her correctly.

"I'm serious, Linc. You, prank free, next April Fools." She repeated, smiling at him. "I'd offer for this year...but I heard that last little bit of conversation. You really need to shut your door more." She said. Lincoln frowned at her, but knew he really should have kept his door closed.

"...Lydia too?" He asked with slightly narrowed eyes. Luan chuckled.

"You drive a hard bargain, bro. Alright. You and Lydia will be prank free next year." The family joker told him.

"...I want that in-" Before he could finish his request, his older sister had already pulled a contract from her back pocket, grinning a bit. "...well played." The man with the plan said, quickly reading through the contract. Everything looked straightforward and legit. Oddly, it looked like Lydia's name was already there, like Luan predicted he would want her on the deal too. After a moment's thought, he decides to sign the contract, followed by the comedianne.

"Pleasure doing business with you, bro." She said, returning the contract to her pocket and walking off while humming to herself, heading downstairs.

"The others aren't going to be happy about that...but to be free from April Fools Day for an extra year? They would have taken it in a heartbeat." Lincoln said to the fourth wall as he headed out of the room and toward the bathroom. "As you probably heard before Luan interjected, Lydia and I are planning to spend April Fools Day in the NeitherWorld. It should be nice; seeing Jacques and Ginger again, getting a chance to really see the city, maybe got for a ride in Doomie again, just the two of us." He exposited as he reached out to open the bathroom door. However, before he could, he got grabbed by several pairs of hands and got pulled into Lori's room. He was a little shaken by the sudden pull, but when he recovered, he saw Lori, Leni, Luna, Lynn, Lucy, Lana and Lola, and Lisa glaring at him.

"So...you're planning on heading out tomorrow, are you?" Lori asked him in a somewhat accusatory tone. The one son gulped and nodded to her.

"To the Neitherworld?" Lucy followed up, her voice monotone, but with a vague hint of anger. Lincoln nodded once more.

"All day?" Lynn inquired, her eyes narrowed.

"Y...Yes." He answered. The girls looked to one another for a moment...then all eight of them fell to their knees in front of him, even the ever proud Lynn.

"Take us with you!" They pleaded in unison, much to Lincoln's shock.

"Don't leave us behind to face Prank-pocaylpse, Linky…" Leni begged, tears building in her eyes.

"You wouldn't do that to your favorite sisters, would you!?" The twins asked, grabbing hold of each of his legs.

"Please, bro...don't be cruel…" Luna pleaded. The one son just blinked, having a little trouble processing what he was seeing. He wasn't surprised that his sisters wanted out of the house during April Fools, but seeing Lori, Lisa, Lola, and even Lynn begging like this...it was something he NEVER thought he'd see. He shook his head to clear it before he tried to speak.

"Whoa, hold up a second, girls." He said, holding his hands in front of him in an almost defensive position. All eyes returned to him. "I sympathize with you guys...I really do. And I would love to take you all with me. But the NeitherWorld isn't exactly the safest place…" He explained, while thinking to himself '...And I was hoping for some alone time with Lydia.'

"Don't you worry about it, Lincoln." Lori said, getting off her knees and walking over beside Lincoln, putting her hand on his back while smiling. "There's enough of us older sisters to watch the younger ones. Everything will be alright." She then leaned in and whispered. "And that would leave you more time to hang out with Lydia, eh?" Her little brother's cheeks turned quite red. He wondered if she read his mind, but if they knew he was headed for the NeitherWorld, he bet they heard what he said about his gothic girlfriend as well.

"Well...alright. I'll set something up with Beetlejuice as soon as I can...but how are we all going to get out without alerting Luan to what we're doing?"

"Like, we could all stay here tonight and have Beetlejuice open the way to the NeederWorld first thing in the morning?" Leni suggested in a simple tone.

"Apart from the fact it's pronounced NeitherWorld, that is a surprisingly clever idea." Lisa admitted, rubbing her chin a touch as she considered the plan.

"All in favor of Leni's idea?" Lori asked the assembled siblings. All of them raised their hands. "It's unanimous. We'll all camp out here tonight and, in the morning, we'll all head out to the NeitherWorld." She announced, banging a heeled shoe as a gavel. 'It can't be worse than Luan's house of pranks, right?' The eldest sibling wondered in her head.

* * *

As they planned, the Loud children all assembled in Lori and Leni's room after lights out, making sure that the fourth oldest sister didn't see them. The only ones who weren't as careful were Lincoln (Luan knew he was baling) and Luna (seeing her bunk elsewhere on Pranksmas Eve was no surprise to the family prankster). The Loud parents had brought Lily to their room, so they could leave hopefully before Luan got down to the ground floor. Luan, on the other hand, was going over her plans with her pranking buddy, Beetlejuice. In previous years, she had promised to tone down her practical jokes. She planned to keep that promise, but it didn't stop her from pulling out all the stops on a lesser level. "Ok...unlike last year, no live raccoons." Luan said to herself, scratching something off on her map of the house.

"Ah, come on, Luan. It's not as much fun without our ringtailed friends…" BJ moaned slightly.

"Sorry, BJ, but if one of my family gets a case of rabies, I'd not only get grounded for a month, but never forgive myself." The practical joker responded.

"...how about live raccoon plushies?" The ghostly prankster threw out there, creating a stuffed animal right in front of him.

"Hmmmm. That could work. No chance of rabies from that." Luan said with a smile, nodding.

"About the worse you'll get from them is a bad case of cotton mouth." He commented, spitting out a large tuft of fluff, making Luan laugh.

"Hahaha. Good one. I think I'll reuse a classic one too. The hall of water."

"Hall of water?"

"Yeah. It's where I fill the entire hall with cups full of water. If one spills, they all spill. So the only way to get through without making a mess is to drink them all."

"Kinda tame by my standards...but I could see where someone could get pee-ved about it." Beetlejuice joked with a snicker. "You know one of my favorite pranks?"

"Do tell." Luan asked with interest.

"A good old fashioned boot in the butt." He answered, grinning. "Especially to the Monster from Across the Street."

"Well, aren't you the cheeky one? Hahahaha. But seriously, we could probably rig up a little something something. Wouldn't want to fall behind, after all." She quipped, putting the idea down on the map, inside the living room. "How do you feel about a nice tall, frosty glass of tabasco sauce?"

"Hot stuff." BJ jested, the both of them laughing at that. "Could pair nicely with some old, chunky milk."

"I like the way you think. Pity we don't have any." The grim grinning ghost smirked, snapping his fingers as a carton of milk appeared in his hand. "Oooo. It is well aged?"

"Been in my fridge since I moved in. Has quite the personality." He commented, opening the carton as a glob of spoilt milk peeked out from the opening.

"How do you do!?" It asked enthusiastically before slipping back into the container.

"Hahahahahaha. This is going to be a scream." Luan said as she rolled on her bed laughing, before the two continued to plan their booby traps for the next day.

* * *

Before the sun even rose, the head of Funny Business and her friend from the other side were hard at work, rigging the house from top to bottom with pranks and traps. As the parents had planned, they were long gone and headed for Aunt Ruth's before the dastardly duo reached the first floor. As the sun started to rise, Luan was putting the finishing touches on the last pranks in the kitchen, and her siblings were all waking up in Lori's room. They couldn't risk going out in the hall, so they would have to wait until they arrived to start their morning routines, though they did get a chance to eat one of Leni's breakfast bars each. The moment they all changed into clothes they had brought with them, most of the sisters hid room, with Lincoln and Lucy standing in plain sight. "Here goes." The one son said. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."

"Hey there, kid. Ready to go?" BJ asked when he popped into Lori's room. He immediately noticed Lucy standing there and raised an eyebrow. "Taking a travelling companion?"

"If you think I would miss a chance to see the NeitherWorld, you're crazy." Lucy responded in her usual deadpan monotone. The ghost with the most simply shrugged, not really caring.

"Suit yourselves. You know what to do, Linc."

"Lincoln...allow me." His gothic little sister said, a smile slowly spreading on her face. "Ahem.

Though I know we should be wary

Now we venture to someplace scary

Ghostly hauntings we turn loose

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice." BJ's fingers crackled with magical energy as he thrust a hand toward the nearest wall, spawning a gnarled wooden door that looked like a portal to the underworld.

"There you go. Have fun kids." He told them before turning to phase through the wall.

"Hold up. Do you have a bathroom at your place?" The one son inquired before he could leave.

"Yeah. Down the hall, second to the left." He said absently. "Word of warning; my mother was the last to use it before we ended up bound together." Were his last words before he vanished from sight. The moment he was gone, the remaining seven sisters emerged from their hiding places. Lincoln put a finger to his lips as he opened the door. Normally, he would have been 'ladies first', but since this was the NeitherWorld they were stepping into, he wanted to be sure it was safe, so he went in first. Fortunately, the door led right into the living room of BJ's Roadhouse. Spooky and messy, but safe at least. He motioned for the others to follow him inside.

"Ugh...this place is a pigsty." Lola criticized, shaking her head in disapproval.

"Isn't it great?" Lana asked with a big smile.

"I hope the bathroom isn't this bad…" Leni said nervously.

"I, personally, don't care! One side!" Lynn shouted, rushing past them all and heading for the restroom. Seconds later… "...oh my god…" The Loud siblings heard.

"Lynn? Is everything ok?" Lori asked as they all ran toward where the sporty sister stood, gazing into the bathroom with a look of absolute shock.

"It's…it's so…clean." She finally said, gesturing into an absolutely spotless room: it looked like the entire loo had been disinfected from top to bottom. The floor tile was shining, the mirror was perfect, the toilet, tub and sinks were perfectly pearly white. Everything had a place and everything was in its place.

"I. Am. Shocked." Lola commented, or as much as she could with her jaw on the ground.

"It's cleaner than our bathroom." Lincoln said in utter amazement. 'I guess the rotten apple fell far from the tree in this case.'

"Ah, I can mess it up again for my buddy once we're done." Lana said, taking this as a challenge. However, that could wait until all of them were done.

"And on that note…" Lynn said, zipping right in and shutting the door. The Loud house ritual of hurry up and wait then began. Fortunately, the waits were short, since none of them were taking a shower or bath (none of them were that crazy). By the time everyone in line was through and Lana messed up the room as she promised, Lydia had arrived herself. The moment she and the one son meet eyes, the two embraced one another, getting a chorus of 'Aww' from his sisters. This startled Lydia, as she hadn't seen them earlier.

"Oh. Hello girls." She said in surprise, her cheeks kinda pink. "I didn't know you were coming with him."

"Sorry, Lydia. I know it wasn't planned, but I couldn't leave them to face April Fools Day at our house." Lincoln said apologetically, rubbing the back of his head. The gothic teen looked to the eight sisters, then to Lincoln, giving him a soft smile.

"It's ok, Lincoln. From what you've told me about Luan's pranks, I don't blame you. I know you care about your sisters."

"He certainly does." Leni said, moving over to hug Lincoln from behind.

"The bestest big brother ever!" Lola added in a cutesy manner, hugging Lincoln's left arm tightly.

"I believe I speak for all of us when I say we owe our brother for this one." Lisa also said, standing to Lincoln's right. The middle Loud's face was all red now, Lydia giggling at the sight. She had a feeling they were laying it on a big thick to make Lincoln look better to her, though she already had a pretty high opinion of him. Still, it was adorable to behold.

"Alright girls. Don't overdo it." Lori intervened with a smile, gently freeing her little brother from Leni and Lola's embrace. "But seriously, we are grateful, Lincoln."

"Hehe. You're all welcome." He replied, chuckling as he blushed. Just then, a door off to the side opened and in peeked Jacques' bony head. He had heard a lot of new voices in BJ's living room and was concerned his neighbor was being robbed. However, when he saw Lincoln and Lydia, his fears had eased.

"Ah. Bonjour Lincoln, Lydia." He said cheerfully, getting the attention of everyone there.

"Hello Jacques. Great to see you again." Lincoln replied, as happy to see the skeleton as he was to see him.

"Likewise, Monsieur Lord." The body building bag of bones replied before turning to the surprised sisters. He took off his beret when he noticed them. "Ah, and who are zes young ladies?"

"We're Lincoln's sisters." Lucy said, stepping forward to act as the family ambassador, shaking Jacques' bony hand. "I'm Lucy Loud." She introduced herself, followed by each of her sister, from oldest to youngest.

"Sacre bleu. Such a large family." The skeleton athlete said in surprise. "Oh, forgive me. It is lovely to meet all of you. I am Jacques LaLean; fitness enthusiast, bodybuilder and current holder of ze Mr NeitherWorld title." He said in reply, sounding very proud.

"You're a bodybuilder? For real?" Lynn asked in utter surprise. "How can you be a bodybuilder without a body?"

"Lynn!" Lincoln scolded her with a frown.

"No need to be upset, mon ami." Jacques said, holding a hand up to Lincoln. "I get zees a lot. And to answer your question, Mademoiselle Lynn, through grit, determination, a never say die again attitude, lots of calcium, and lots of Bone Bond glue."

"Heh. I like that kind of attitude."

"Yeah. That's Jacques for you." A female voice with from seemingly nowhere. "He'll never give up, even when he goes to pieces."

"Who said that?" Luna asked, looking around for the source. Just then, Ginger lowered herself down to eye level.

"Hi there!"

"Spider!" Leni screamed, pulling a can of insecticide from behind her back. Ginger screamed in fear, covering her little face.

"Leni, no!" Lincoln exclaimed, quickly taking the spray can away from his sister. "She's not an ordinary spider!"

"...she's not?"

"No. She's a tap dancing spider." The one son quickly explained. "Ginger, show us your stuff."

"Uh...sure." The shaken spider girl said, lowering herself to the floor and starting her tap routine. The dance wasn't bad, far from it. However, it didn't really have anything that made it stand out, Lola thought. However, she held her tongue, since this was to help their arachnophobic sister calm down; and it worked. Leni's eyes grew as she suddenly scooped Ginger up and hugged her tight.

"Aww! So cute! Who can hate a talking, tap dancing spider?" She said cheerfully.

"Ack! Leni…crushing…" She groaned, squirming in her iron grip.

"Oops. Sorry…" The sweet, but simple blonde let her go and put her down on the ground.

"Cough...yer forgiven." The pink spider answered, once she caught her breath.

"Everyone, allow me to introduce Ginger, the tap dancing spider." Lincoln finally said, feeling better now that Leni wasn't terrified of his friend.

"Hey there, Ginger." Luna said, shaking her little hand. "Sorry about Leni. Spiders kinda shake her to her core."

"Yeah. I forgot to warn her." Lincoln admitted sheepishly.

"It's ok…" The showbiz arachnid replied, smiling a big as she shook Luna's hand. "Goodness, I never imagined Lincoln had so many sisters."

"Would you believe there are still two more who aren't here?" Lori inquired with a bit of a smirk.

"Yer kidding...really?" The shocked Ginger asked. "Are ya sure yer family's not part rabbit?" Most of the family and Lydia got a nice laugh from that, but Lisa did not.

"I assure you that there is no genetic manipulation within our family." The little genius spoke up. "...yet."

"It's just a joke, Lisa…" An exasperated Lana informed her with a sigh.

"So, what brings you to ze NeitherWorld, mon amis?" The fit man of bone inquired.

"It's April Fools Day." Lori explained. "And with Luan and Beetlejuice teaming together-"

"Say no more, mademoiselle. That alone is more zen reason." Jacques said with a chuckle. "Well, don't let me disturb you. I was just about to head on my morning jog."

"A jog, huh? I haven't had a chance to take my run yet." Lynn said with a smirk. "Mind if I join you, Jacques?"

"Mais non. Jogging with friends is always more fun." The skeleton man said enthusiastically.

"Can I go too?" Lana asked, a big smile on her face.

"Ze more, ze merrier, mon petite." He replied, jogging in place. "Follow my lead." He said before he headed for the front door. "Alouetta! Jogging alouetta! Alouetta! Jogging tu merette!"

"...I hope he isn't going to do that through the whole jog…" Lynn said under her breath before she and Lana jogged after Jacques.

"Think they'll be alright, Lincoln?" Lori asked her younger brother quietly.

"I think so." He replied with a nod. "Jacques knows his way around the NeitherWorld, and he's a good guy. Add Lynn to the mix and they'll be just fine." This made the oldest of the sisters feel a bit better.

"So, where do we go from here?" Lola asked, looking to Lydia and Lincoln.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd like to go to the mall." Leni spoke up.

"Big surprise…" Lori said sarcastically. "...but a trip to the mall does sound nice." She added, with Lola and Luna agreeing.

"I cannot say I am desiring to visit a mall, but getting a chance to further investigate this world is a chance of a lifetime, no pun intended." Lisa monotoned, pulling a notebook from behind her.

"That sounds lovely. Mind if I come too? I could use some new tap shoes." Ginger said, showing the worn plates at the bottom of her six shoes.

"Sure thing, Ginger. After all, you know this place better than we do." Lori said.

"Alright. We'll all take a ride down to the Shocking Mall, then Lincoln and I will go on a quick tour of the city." Lydia said as she motioned for the others to follow her.

"...did...she say Shocking Mall?" The leader of the Loud siblings asked, starting to feel a little uneasy.

"Don't worry. Unless you stand under the sign, you won't get shocked." Ginger informed her, though that didn't make her feel any calmer about this. When they all stepped outside, however, they found themselves shocked by another definition of the word. Whether it was the different colored sky, the giant cow skull across the street, or the fact that all the streets and land seemed to be floating. Little Lana stood close to the edge, looking down into the cloud dense void below. Standing by the road, Lydia was waiting beside Doomie, who looked ready to go. Lori, Luna and Leni all blinked, but Lola ran forward.

"Hey there, Doomie." She greeted him happily, patting him on the hood. The living car honked in reply, smiling to her.

"A sentient vehicle...fascinating." The second youngest of the Louds commented, scribbling down some notes. "So many questions…"

"Hehe. Allow me to introduce BJ's car, Doomie." Lydia said, gesturing to the roadster next to her.

"Beep Beep!" Doomie said to the Loud children.

"Uh...hi there." Lori said, a little thrown off. "Lydia, how are we all going to fit in there?" Doomie turned his front to look at the eight kids and one spider waiting for a ride. The unique car started to stretch and grow, turning himself into a double decker tour bus.

"Whoa. That's amazing!" Leni commented, her eyes widened.

"Gotta love the ride." Luna said with a big smile.

"There is certainly more to this roadster than meets the eye." Lisa said, more to herself than anyone else as she boarded the bus. Lincoln and Lydia went up to the upper level (as Lincoln enjoyed riding with the wind in his face), along with Luna and Leni toward the front. Lisa, Lola, Lori, Lucy and Ginger sat in the lower level, with the oldest sister nearly sitting in the driver's seat out of habit.

"No need, Lori. Doomie can drive himself." Lydia called down to her.

"...really?: The authoritative blonde asked, which was confirmed with a few honks of the horn. Though she was uneasy about the idea, she sat down in one of the many passenger seats. Lincoln smiled to Lydia, gently holding her hand with one of his hands before looking out to The Monster from Across the Street's house. He noticed that Lana, Lynn, and Jacques were over there, as well as the fur laden cowboy and his bull dog. Given how there wasn't any yelling and how Lana was petting Poopsie, he believed everything was just fine as Doomie drove off down the winding highway.

* * *

Back at the Loud House, Luan was grinning in the kitchen as she drank down a fruit juice. In a matter of seconds, the first set of traps should be going off. She'll be hearing the screams of one of her sisters soon enough. She perked her ears up as she waited...and waited...and waited. 'Hmmm. Maybe they're sleeping in.' Luan thought, a touch annoyed. "Beetlejuice, could you do me a solid and wake up a few of my siblings?"

"Sure thing, partner." The ghost with the most said, a big smirk on his face as he floated up through the ceiling and floor into Lucy and Lynn's room. To his surprise, there was no one in the room. He scratched his head, a few bugs falling from his hair. He shrugged as he passed through the wall, going into the Twins' room. Once more, no sign of anyone. "The hey?" He asked, utterly lost now. He quickly flew into Lisa and Lily's chambers. Nothing. Same goes with Lori and Leni, then Luna and Luan's. Everyone was gone. The goofing ghost frowned as he thought this over, but then it clicked. "...those sneaky little...I'd be impressed if I weren't so ticked!" BJ snapped before he phased through the floor back into the kitchen. "They bailed, Luan."

"What?" The family joker asked in surprise.

"They must have went with Linc and Luce to the NeitherWorld." The ponytailed prankster just stood there with her mouth open for a moment, then she kinda deflated like a balloon.

"...this isn't any fun…" She said sadly, her eyes looking at her shoes. "...all these pranks and no one to enjoy them…" She sighed, about one step from crying as she shuffled off into the living room. Beetlejuice felt a sharp pang in his heart for her as he floated after her, patting her on the shoulder to try and comfort her. It really pained him to see his fellow prank puller this down. Before they could say anything further, however, there was a knock on the door. "Hmmm? I wonder who that could be." Luan wondered out loud.

* * *

 _AN: Yep. Most of the Louds are headed to the NeitherWorld. Next few chapters will follow a small group of siblings as they have their own adventures in the hereafter, while Luan and Beetlejuice figure out what they're going to do._

 _Special advance thanks to FtheSystem for the idea of the girls going to the Shocking Mall in the NeitherWorld. And to answer your question: Very possibly._


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Luan And BJ

Before Luan and Beetlejuice had discovered that her siblings had vacated the premises, a most unusual sight could be seen driving down Franklin Avenue. A stretch limousine, coasting slowly down the road. Such a thing hadn't been seen since the Loud boy had won a ride in a limo. So it was only natural that Mr Grouse looked up and noticed the limo slowly rolling along. Not really being one to mind his own business, he walked down to the road, where the driver rolled down the window. "Excuse me, sir...do you happen to know where to find the residence of Mr Lincoln Loud?" The overly snooty looking man behind the wheel inquired.

"What's it to ya?" The grouchy old man asked with a frown.

"Miss Brewster wishes to see him, but we only have a general idea of his abode." The driver explained. "She has been...most eager to see him again." He continued, though he was tempted to say what was really on his mind.

"Eh...he lives next door." He grumbled, pointing to the Loud House.

"Finally!" Claire shouted, kicking the vehicle door open and leaping out of the car. Last time she and Lincoln had been together, she had openly shown her disgust at his nerdish hobbies. However, while she still felt the same way about his liking comic books and video games, she still couldn't take her mind off of him. She still found him a cutie, in spite of his being a nerd. She thought she could probably train that out of him, and turn him into the ideal boyfriend for her. She just needed to find him.

"Hey, kid, you don't want to do that!" Mr Grouse called out. "Don't you-"

"Ugh...why is this crusty old geezer trying to talk to me!?" She responded rudely with a voice of disgust, speaking to no one in particular. Usually, this would get the goat of the elderly gentleman. Today, however, he just shrugged and walked over to his garage. Moments later, he came out with a large stool, a bottle of pop, and a jumbo bucket of popcorn. Curious, Jeeves emerged from the limo and walked up to Mr Grouse as he set his seat up by the fence.

"Pardon my asking, sir, but what are you doing?"

"Pull up a stool, Mr Belvedere. This is going to be good." The Louds' grouchiest neighbor responded with a smirk. Around this point, Claire had gotten to the door and was knocking on it quite aggressively. After a few seconds, Luan came to the door to answer it.

"Hello?" She asked as she looked down at the spoiled rich blonde girl.

"About time. Where's Lincoln!?" Miss Brewster demanded to know.

"Uh...who are you?" Luan asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Claire Brewster. THE Claire Brewster. I'm sure your master has told you about me. Now go get him. Chop chop!" The little brat said, clapping her hands.

"Master? Lincoln isn't my-"

"Ugh...how could Lincoln's family have such incompetent help...not to mention being such a fashion disaster…" Claire groaned in disgust. "Get! Master! Lincoln! NOW!" She yelled, speaking very slowly as if she were berating someone slow. Luan just looked at her with a deadpan, yet unamused look before glancing toward Beetlejuice, who just looked all kinds of hacked off. Then, the two of them sported grins that could rival The Grinch.

"Come on in, Miss Brewster." The fourth oldest sister said, stepping back to let her in. "And, by the way, Lincoln is my brother, not master."

"Whatever." The little brat responded, striding inside as she attempted to shove the comedienne aside. She look one look inside the house and scoffed. "Drab, lower class and unacceptably blah…" she criticized disdainfully.

"Lincoln is probably up in his room." Luan told her, not paying her harsh words any mind. "Top of the stairs, last door on the right." She grinned as the blonde haired, blue eyed teen sniffed at her then climbed the stairs.

"...what's all this!?" Claire screamed when she saw all the little red cups full of water in the hall. The aspiring clown calmly climbed up to her and looked down at the sea of cups.

"Well, I'll be damped. Hahaha!" Luan joked, though Claire wasn't amused. "Looks like some joker set up a little obstacle course for you."

"Well, deal with it!" The wealthy pest demanded, pointing at all the water.

"Nope." She responded simply.

"What!?"

"Not the servant, not my problem. Hope you're thirsty." Luan commented, turning her back on her. "Oh, and be careful. In our house, we have a rule: you make a mess, YOU clean it up." She warned her without looking at her. All the pity, as her face was turning a lovely shade of red. "Water you waiting for. Lincoln's waiting." She finished before she strolled back downstairs to wait and listen with Beetlejuice. Claire looked about ready to have a conniption, but there was nothing she could do. If she wanted to see the young man who refused to leave her mind, she had to drink her way through. She picked up the first glass and took a sip...and spit it out.

"Tap water!?" She exclaimed as if she had drank mud. She could hear Luan laughing from downstairs, as well as a voice she didn't quick recognize...or did she? Anyway, at this point, she wanted to spite that beaver toothed fashion nightmare as well as get to Lincoln at this point, so she braced herself and started to drink through the cups of water. After a few minutes of constant drinking, she reached the door, smirking with victory. She opened the door...and no one was there. What's more, Lincoln's room looked more like a servant's quarters. She was shocked and horrified. She ran back to the top of the stairs before screaming down the stairs. "What are you trying to pull!?"

"Whatever do you mean?" Luan asked with a fake expression of innocence.

"He's not up here!"

"He's not? Well, perhaps he's out back then." The ponytailed prankster suggested with a shrug. Claire was about to run down there and seriously lambaste Luan, but the moment she took her first step, she felt the call of nature. The little brat winced, crossing her legs a bit.

"Uh...like, where is the bathroom?" She inquired nervously.

"The room opposite to Lincoln's in the hall." Miss Brewster looked down the other end of the corridor, which was littered with water cups. She whimpered a bit, but then got an idea. She started to pick up the cups and move them over in front of Lincoln's empty room, careful not to spill much more than a few drops.

"Hmmm...she's not as dumb as she looks." Luan commented quietly to Beetlejuice.

"That'd be impossible." BJ quipped, the two of them snickering under their breaths. "So how'd you rig the toilet?"

"Oh, I didn't do anything to the toilet."

"Huh?".

"Doing the hall of water and trapping the can? That's too cruel. The least I can do is let the prankee relieve themselves." She explained, getting a disapproving look from the ghost with the most. Before he could scold her, they heard the spray of water and Claire screaming from the bathroom. "The sink, on the other hand...set to spray and pray." She quipped, which brought a new wave of mirth to her spectral friend. They could hear Claire storming down the stairs, giving BJ the signal to change forms, looking like a young, nine year old boy version of himself.

"What the heck is up with that sink!?" The brat screeched.

"Oh dear. This old house...am I right?" Luan said innocently, shrugging like it was no big deal.

"You better do something about this! I'm all wet!"

"You said it. I didn't." Beetlejuice fired back with a grin.

"Good one, Cousin BJ." Luan told him, giving him a high five. The bratty blonde could have swore she heard that name before, but she was too furious to really consider it. "As for you, Claire…"

"It's Missus Brewster to you, peasant." She snapped snobbily.

"...Claire." Luan repeated, just to further irritate her. "Come with me. We'll get you a robe and get your clothes dried." The family prankster put a hand on the wealthy pest's back as she directed her to her and Luna's room, leaving 'Cousin BJ' to wait out in the hall. After a few moments, Luan held out Claire's wet clothes on a coat hanger. "Would you be so kind, cuz?"

"Delighted, Cousin Luan." Beetlejuice replied, taking the dampened garments and flying off toward the basement.

"Remember! It's dry clean only!" Claire yelled from the room, currently donning one of Luan's bathrobes. She normally wouldn't be caught dead in anything that didn't come from Paris, New York or Beverly Hills, but it was that or be stuck in Lincoln's house in her underwear, so she had to deal with it.

"Well, anyway, like I said, Linc is probably out back." Luan told the pouting little princess wanna be, looking toward the door out. Claire took one step toward the door, then paused. Number one: she remembered what was out there and wasn't about to take that route again. And number two: she couldn't let the white haired little nerd see her like this. No doubt it would get his attention, but she had a reputation to uphold. Fortunately (or so she thought), there was a window facing the backyard in Luan and Luna's room. Smirking a bit when she thought she had a safe method of checking, she strolled over, opened the window and leaned outside. She looked out at the cluttered mess that was the backyard and cringed.

"Ugh. What a filthy mess." She commented rudely. "And still no sign of Lincoln." Just then, the window snapped shut on her, leaving her front half hanging outside and her lower half inside. She screamed the moment she was trapped, struggling to pull herself free. The ponytailed prankster grinned as she crossed her arms in front of her, watching as four brooms connected to a wheel descended from above. As soon as it reached where Claire was stuck, the wheel started to spin, along with the brooms, smacking the little brat in the backside. Each strike caused her to get pushed a little further through the window. "Ow ow ow ow ow! What's going on in there!?" She yelled, kicking her legs back with the hopes of hitting a non-existent attacker.

"Oh, just someone being a pain in the butt. Hahahaha!" She quipped before laughing. 'Beetlejuice, you're brilliant.' She thought to herself, as the prank trap finally launched Claire through the window and toward the backyard, screeching like a banshee. She was headed right for Lana's mud puddle. She closed her eyes in fear and covered her face, bracing herself for the murky impact...only to land in a big pile of pillows. She blinked as she stuck her head out from the pile, looking down at the cushions, then over at the mud puddle only inches away. She could have swore they weren't there before, but she wasn't complaining (for once). She breathed a sigh of relief.

"My luck must be turning around…" The moment she voiced that opinion, each and every pillow exploded, leaving a heap of down with some VERY angry eyes in their place.

"How's the feather out there?" Luan asked jokingly from the upstairs window, laughing her head off. She wasn't the only one either. Beetlejuice was busting a gut as he watched from the basement window, and Mr Grouse enjoyed a healthy dose of schadenfreude at Claire's expense. Even her servant, Jeeves, found it impossible to hold back his mirth at watching the little brat get just what she deserved. Claire was furious as she stomped out of the hill of plumes, storming toward the door (careful to navigate around Lana's homemade swamp). A few steps away from the porch, she felt her foot tread upon a rope. She blinked, looked down at the cord, then behind her. She turned just in time to see a glob of mud headed right for her. She cried in fear and ducked quickly, narrowly avoiding an unwanted mud mask. Thinking she was safe, she smirked smugly and turned back to the triggered trap, a catapult concealed in the waller.

"Ha!" She scoffed, sticking her tongue out at the used trebuchet. Because of this, she never saw the second catapult until her face, and tongue, were caked in muck and mire. The scream that followed could have shattered glass, were she indoors. She coughed, spat and sputtered, trying to get the overly moistened dirt out of her mouth.

"Bet that left a bad taste in your mouth!" Mr Grouse yelled from his yard.

"Hahahaha. Took the words right out of my mouth, neighbor." Luan called out to him. The heat from Claire's face (as a result of her rage and embarrassment) was enough to make the mud dry out and fall in flakes off her head. She had pure, unadulterated wrath in her eyes as she kicked the back door open into the kitchen.

"When I get my hands on that bucked toothed little b-" She started, but she never got to finish her thought. The first tile she stepped upon inside the kitchen triggered a pressure plate, which caused the sprayer in the kitchen sink to shoot a jet of water right into her face. She staggered to the side as she was spritzed, coughing up water as if she had her head ducked in a lake. With her weight removed from the plate, the water stopped spraying. However, she ended up stepping on a new trigger, which spawned a giant fan. Once it was activated, the force of the wind blew her clear across the kitchen, right into the opposite wall, next to the passage leading to the dining room.

"Towel?" BJ inquired, holding a cloth towel out to Claire with the biggest grin on his face. Without even looking at him, she snatched the towel from his hand, peeled herself off the wall, and started to dry her face off.

"Well, at least the mud came off...thank goodness…" Claire commented.

"That's not all that came off!" The mean spirited spirit informed her, his eyes covered as he pointed at her. The well to do snob paused as she was drying her face and looked down. Her face went a glowing crimson as she saw the robe was gone and she had large black bars marked 'CENSORED' across her torso and hips. She moved her arms to cover herself...and found the bars were made of cloth and cardboard. She looked behind herself and sighed with relief. It was just some gag swimsuit...one she knew she hadn't put on. Her momentarily musing was muddled by 'Cousin BJ' laughing at her.

"You little punk!" She screamed, her fists clenched, ready to pummel the ghost with the most. However, he took to his heels and fled out of the kitchen, laughing all the way. She gave a loud "UGH!" of frustration as she went to go recollect the robe. Turned out, it was on top of the fridge. The fridge with a sign saying 'DO NOT OPEN'. "Hmph. You can't tell Claire Brewster what to do!" She declared, reaching for the door.

"...you'll be soooooorry." Luan said quietly to her pranking partner, trying (and failing) to hold back her gleeful chortles. The spoiled brat opened the fridge and her pupils shrank. A gaze of plush raccoons turned to look at her from inside the icebox, looking surprised at first, then hostile after a second.

"Uh...nice raccoons?" She said nervously, just before the five living toys pounced, knocking her to the ground as they bit her with their soft teeth and scratched with their felt claws. While neither was doing any major damage, it still felt like a mild rug burn and it was still a terrifying experience for her. "AAAAAAAH! Get off me! Get off me!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Great job hiding those in the fridge, partner!" Luan said through her hysterics, high fiving BJ.

"Ain't I a stinker?" Beetlejuice asked, turning into a giant skunk. He had to change back quickly, as Claire was quickly throwing the plushies away from her and he was concerned she was going to come for them after she got free. However, after she had tossed the last toy, she found herself very parched. All that screaming really dried her throat something fierce. Turning to the open fridge, she found a bottle of a red liquid. It looked like tomato juice. Not a favorite of hers, but at this point, she needed a drink that wasn't tap water. She grabbed the bottle, popped the top and started to guzzle it down. About half way through the bottle, she realized she made a SERIOUS error as her tongue, mouth and throat seemed to catch fire. She spat out the tabasco and made a grab for the carton of milk. Normally, she would get a glass, but she was in such agony, she didn't care about breach of protocol. She started to chug directly from the carton...only to get a mouth full of chunky, old milk. Her cheeks turned a sickly green as she started to taste the rancid milk, but them a glob of it emerged from the carton, giving her a flattered look.

"Awww. I didn't know you cared~"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Claire screeched, spitting out the glop before screaming bloody redrum again. It was then she heard Luan and BJ nearly breathless from laughter. Her fury bubbled over as she stopped her way to the opening leading into the living room. "YOU!"

"Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Yep, it's me alright. Been me all day."

"You insolent little peon! I will have Lincoln fire you for this!"

"I can't be fired. I'm family, not the help." Luan retorted as she finally started to calm down.

"Ugh! You know what! I don't care! I'm going to get my clothes and LEAVE!" The wealthy, yet unruly child snapped before she started stomping toward the basement.

"About time." Beetlejuice commented, grinning ear to ear.

"Ooooo. What have your rigged in the basement?" An eager Luan asked.

"Well...you remember what she said about dry clean only?" Before the funny sister could answer, a roar of outright wrath so loud it could be confused for an air raid siren came from the cellar.

"...you didn't…" Luan said while feigning a gasp. BJ simply grinned as Claire returned on the warpath, waving her doll sized designer clothes around as she was pretty much choking on her anger. The fun loving teen had a big grin on her face as she saw this, which only made the the entitled little blonde even angrier (if that were even possible). She went right off on her, yelling loudly, her words somewhat muddled from her rage and the volume of her yelling.

"Use your big girl words." She told her in a somewhat condescending tone. This was enough to throw Claire over the edge, the brat lunging at her. Luan ducked, watching as she sailed over her head and land right on the back of the couch. She thrashed around on the couch like an infant throwing a tantrum until she rolled over the back and landed on the couch. The moment she landed, a large, heavy boot sprang up from between the cushions, sending her flying right for the bay window. Her voice was so hoarse from her endless screaming, she simply covered her face, bracing for impact. Fortunately for her, BJ used his magic to open the window. Not only that, it looked like she was headed right for a big, comfy cushion. She was just starting to relax...only for her to faceplant right into the law just inches from a comfy landing, looking like an ostrich.

"Hmmm. My measurements were off. She must have put on weight." Beetlejuice commented. Outside, Mr Grouse was laughing harder than he had in a long time, with Jeeves slapping his knee right alongside him.

"And that is why you never want to go into that house on April Fools Day." The old man said matter of factly as Claire pulled her head from the sod.

"You can't do this to me! I am Claire Brewster! I will sue you both into utter oblivion!" She screeched from the front lawn. It was at this point a police officer came strolling by: a tall man with somewhat pale skin and gelled back yellowish green hair. He looked over at the young lady, raising an eyebrow from behind his mirrored shades. She turned around with the intent of getting back into the limo when she saw the patrolman. "Officer! Arrest that horrible girl and even more horrible boy!" She demanded, pointing toward the open window where Luan was leaning against the sill, watching the scene unfold. The boy in blue looked up at her silently, then toward a sign on the end of the front lawn (one Claire didn't recall seeing there before), then back to the raving and ranting teen girl. He pulled out his ticket book and started to write on it before handing her a slip of paper from it. Confused, she looked down at the ticket. "...indecent exposure!?" The officer simply pointed to the two large censored bars on her. "It's a swimsuit, you idiot!" She screamed right into his face; a move which didn't even get him to flinch. It did, however, get her a new ticket. "...disturbing the peace!?" Her face was almost purple with rage as the officer calmly tipped his hat to her and strolled off without saying a word. He did, however, cover his mouth to hide his snickers. Fuming, the spoiled Brewster stormed over to the sign for a closer look. It said 'Danger. April Fools Day. Enter at your own risk'.

"It's been fun, Claire, but maybe you should take this as a sign to leave. Hahahaha. I'll tell Lincoln you stopped by." Luan called out to her. "Oh, and you can keep the robe." She added as an afterthought, tossing the yellow robe out to her. The self important child grit her teeth as she picked it up, put it on, then hurled the tickets in her hand to the ground, stomping on them like they were on fire.

"Miss Brewster, you really shouldn't be littering." Jeeves told her, unable to resist getting a jab of his own in at this point.

"Like, shut up, Jeeves!" She snapped at him. "Why didn't you tell me about that sign!? And why didn't you even do anything to help me!? You had to have heard me screaming!"

"My apologies, Miss Brewster, but as you told me while we were en route to Michigan, my job is to drive you wherever you like. It's not my job to bother you with, and I quote, whatever drivel comes out of my mouth." He calmly explained to her.

"Your JOB is whatever I tell you it is!" She yelled furiously. "And right now, you're job matches what you are: like, nothing! YOU'RE FIRED!" The snooty gentlemen blinked when he heard this, then he started to smile, much to Claire's shock.

"R...really?" He inquired, his face lighting up even more. The selfish young lady slowly nodded, having trouble processing what she was seeing. "I'm free! I'm FREEEEEE!" Jeeves cheered, pulling off his tie and throwing his hat to the pavement. "No more putting up with those stuff shirts and their impossible daughter!" Claire gasped when she heard this, very clearly offended. "No more long hours of torment for a meager paycheck! I'm free! I'm free!" He started prancing down the street, singing joyously about his newly gained unemployment. The spoilt teen just stood there, gaping as he skipped out of sight. She just didn't understand it. She fired him. He no longer gets to bask in her glory, for Mommy and Daddy's money. Why is he treating it like it was the greatest gift she could have given him?

"Well, that was smart." Mr Grouse said with a grin. "How do you plan to get home now?" Claire was about to bite his head off, but she quickly realized he was right. Now she had no one to drive the limo. How WAS she going to get back to Peaceful Pines? "Oh, and you better move that thing soon. It's blocking my driveway." He added as a parting shot, pointing to how the nose of the stretch limo was covering over half the old man's driveway. The young lady looked like she was about to explode again, but then slumped her shoulders and sighed in defeat. She didn't have any steam left to throw another tantrum as Mr Grouse took his stool, his empty bottle and half eaten popcorn back into his garage. She pulled her phone from the robe pocket (where she had placed it after she had changed earlier) and stepped inside the limo to make a phone call

"Hello Daddy...yes, I'm in Michigan...no, I didn't see him...the reason I called is...I fired Jeeves. Yes...yes, again." She said in a glum tone, . "...how soon can you send someone new?...that long? Well...the limo may end up towed before then...yes, again. Thank you for understanding, Daddy...no. I'll wait here. I came this far to find Lincoln, I'm not giving up now. I'll just find a nice hotel and wait for the new driver to get here...yes, love you and Mummy too, Daddy. Good bye." She sighed again as she pulled her suitcases from the trunk and changed into something more decent inside the car; a pink paris original dress and heels. She couldn't bring everything with her as she strolled sadly down the street, leaving a good chunk of her cosmetics in the trunk of the soon to be towed limo. She eventually came to a bus stop, where she eventually sat down on the bench, her head in her hands. "How the mighty have fallen...Claire Brewster, forced to take...the bus." She monologued in disgust. She didn't even notice the tough looking young man in the leather jacket beside her, who looked like he was in a foul mood of his own, nor the monkey tail sticking out the back of his jeans. He glanced over at her angrily.

"Well, excuse me, princess…" He commented derisively. "It's how we normal folks have to get around."

"Don't start with me, punk...I'm in no mood." She warned him, looking down at her heels as they waited for the bus.

"Hmph. What happened to you? Someone step on your heels?"

"Don't even kid about that…" She growled before she continued. "...no. I came all this way to see a boy, but not only was he not home, but I suffered the most terrible indignities inside that hovel they call a house."

"Yea?" The greaser wanna be asked, leaning back against the bench and crossing his legs in front of him. "What's his name?"

"His name is Lincoln Loud." Upon hearing that name, the leather clad young man scowled.

"Lincoln Loud!?" He nearly yelled, his hands clenching into fists.

"You know him?" Claire asked, finally looking toward the young man beside him.

"Know him!? Because of him, his sisters, and that one guy, my reputation is ruined!" He ranted, slamming his fist against the steel bench, putting a big dent in it. "I was once the strongest, toughest kid in the school. But thanks to Loud, my pack is disbanded and my status as strongest and toughest is long dead…" He sighed in frustration, looking toward the spoiled brat beside him. "Name's Bison, by the way."

"Claire Brewster." She replied. It was then she noticed he had a tail. "Eek! What is that!?"

"Oh...that came from that one guy…" Bison replied, glaring at the simian tail with pure loathing. "When I tried to teach Loud a lesson for messing with me, he called for him...what was his name? Started with a B...Beetle something...Beetlejuice! That's it." Claire felt a little sick when she heard him say that...but she knew she had heard that name before.

"Beetlejuice…? I've heard Lydia say that before...disgusting word…"

"You know the guy?"

"Well, no. I didn't know it was a name. I just thought it was that little freak's way of just being gross...ugh."

"...so what happened between you and Loud?"

"Well, the last time we met, I thought he was the most charming individual…" She started to say, ignoring the snickers from the boy beside he on the bench. "...until I learned he was actually a nerd in disguise."

"Nerd. Yeah, that sounds like him alright."

"Well, I thought I wanted nothing more to do with him...but I can't get him out of my mind. So, I came all this way to find him. I felt I could easily train him out of those horrid hobbies and into something more respectable." She elaborated. "However, once I arrived at his house, I was greeted by this hideous woman with braces...she sent me through a literal house of horrors…"

"Woman with braces? Yeah, that's one of his sisters…" Bison confirmed, nodding slightly. "A real looney around April Fools."

"Don't I know it…" Claire replied angrily.

"It sounds to me like you both have much in common." A deep, mysterious voice from behind them said softly, causing Claire to shriek and jump, while Bison simply looked back. Behind the bench was someone in a very large dark gray trench coat and hat. The hat was pulled in such a way to completely obscure their face.

"Don't you know it's rude to eavesdrop…" The tough boy said, cracking his knuckles.

"My apologies. I couldn't help but overhear what you said." Said another voice from the same person, this one more high pitched and squeaky.

"Like, why are you doing that?" Claire asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Doing what?" The first voice inquired in confusion.

"Nevermind...what did you mean by we have much in common?"

"Well, you both have a history with Mr Loud, as well as his sisters." The second voice explained, leaning against the back of the bench so they could speak more quietly. "And you've both had experiences with Beetlejuice." This got both of their attention immediately. This stranger knew this Beetlejuice guy!?

"How would you like a chance to get back at the both of them?" The first voice asked the two of them.

"...keep talking." Claire and Bison said together, somewhat intrigued.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

In a darkened room somewhere in the NeitherWorld, a meeting of the minds was taking place. Around a circular table, six very different people (if you could call them that) were seated. The first was a zombie, dressed in black cowboy leathers and a short black hat. He had a permanent sneer and squinty eyes, giving him the look of always glaring. He looked rather bored about something. The next was Little Miss Warden, sitting up in her seat, up straight, her lollipop set on the table in front of her. Beside her was a bat person with large glasses, wearing a white vest and gloves, dark gray shirt and pants, and black shoes. He was drumming his fingers on the table, a little dark cloud over his head to show his displeasure. Next to him was Scuzzo, leaning back in his seat with his clown shoes on the table. He was snickering at nothing, at least at first glance. What followed was a creature that was mostly a giant pair of lips, with a little blue lump topped with eyes behind it, as well as spindly arms and legs. He was building a house of cards on top of the table while he waited for the meeting to really start. And finally, sitting on a booster seat, was a tiny man dressed in the garb of a gangster. His eyes were sunken in and shadowed, and his hat was almost bigger than his head (the largest part of him). He looked around at the assembled ghosts and ghouls seated around the table. "I suppose you wonder why you were called here, fellow members of SNOTRAG...and Lipscum."

"Hey...I'm a member…" The mouth monster objected from behind his playing card hovel.

"One of our members has garnered some very interesting information. Miss Warden, you have the floor." The little gangster said, handing her a section of the wood floor they stood upon.

"Thank you, Mr Big." She replied, taking the floor from him. "I received an interesting proposal from somewhere in city hall." She started, pulling a folder from under the table. "They've gotten word of a mass crossing through into the NeitherWorld a short time ago."

"A mass crossing!? A bunch of livies in the NeitherWorld!? Sounds like fun." Scuzzo commented with a laugh.

"Save it, clown. You're in enough trouble as it stands." The doll like warden warned him. "Anyway, they've confirmed that two of the living ones who crossed through were Lydia Deetz and the boy possessed by Beetlebum, Lincoln Loud." She informed them, pulling two sheets of paper with their profiles on them.

"Ah yes. I heard about that." The ghoulish gunman said with a slight nod, finally looking somewhat interested. "You saying that polecat Beetlejuice is back in town?"

"I hope not!" The bat in the vest interjected. "I've been enjoying the peace! Not to mention the chance to be one of the most wanted in the NeitherWorld."

"I hear that, Bartholomew." Scuzzo said, pulling out his own wanted poster. "It's nice to be wanted."

"No, Jessie Germs." Little Miss Warden replied, ignoring Scuzzo and Bartholomew. "The fugitive is still in the living world as near as we know, and someone wants to make sure it stays that way."

"Sounds good to me." Mr Big commented with a smirk. "We have a good thing going with Beetlebum out of the way."

"So you're saying you don't know who's making the proposal you mentioned?" Jessie Germs asked, somewhat suspicious now.

"Unfortunately, no. Someone in City Hall wants Beetlejuice out of the way, but that could be anybody." The little warden said. "But does it really matter?" The group looked to one another for a moment, most of them just shrugging and a general answer of 'not really'. "I thought not. Anyway, given the information we know about the boy fused with the fugitive, we think it's safe to say, with this being a mass crossing, that he may have crossed with his family." She shifted the folder on the table along, turning from one to five. "I have a folder for each member…" She explained, passing them to everyone but Lipscum.

"Hey! I'm a member! A valued member!" Lipscum repeated angrily.

"Yeah, right…" Mr Big scoffed, opening the file.

"...I was the only one who got Beetlejuice to fall apart last time…" The mouth monster grumbled, looking pouty now.

"...he has a point." Scuzzo admitted, putting a dunce cap on his head. "Come here, old Scum. You can read over my shoulder." The ghost clown said, motioning him over. Each member of SNOTRAG opened the folder and sifted through the thick stack of papers.

"Whoa...big family." The tiny gangster commented, eyes wide, looking at the thirteen profiles on display.

"No kidding…" Lipscum said in awe.

"I met this one." The crazy clown stated, pointing to the profile on Luna. "Wouldn't mind going another round against her."

"Five teenagers, six little kids…" The phantom outlaw said, more to himself than the others.

"Now, I want you all to understand one thing." Miss Warden said sternly, getting their attention. "If this turns out to be true, we are NOT to hurt or, in my case, arrest any of them. Period!" She snapped, looking especially at Jessie and Scuzzo.

"Ah, you're no fun…" Scuzzo complained. It was his turn to pout now.

"This isn't about fun. We just need to convince them to stay away and keep Beetlejuice out of the NeitherWorld. If any of them are hurt or they call the fugitive here...we're on our own."

"Understood." Mr Big said with a nod. "Now, members of SNOTRAG, I suggest we split up. We can cover more ground that way. I'll take downtown." The mini gangster offered.

"And I'll cover uptown." Miss Warden stated.

"I'll head down to Beetlebum's RoadHouse...maybe head a few of them off at the pass." Jessie Germs growled.

"You guys are nuts. I know exactly where to go." Lipscum said, knocking the dunce cap off his head.

"Oh? And how exactly do you know where to go?" Miss Warden asked in a condescending manner.

"There are a bunch of teen girls, right?" He asked, to which the other members of the villainous organization nodded. "And where would be the prime place for teen girls to go? The mall!" The mostly mouth creature declared before he ran off.

"...You know, he has a point...again." Bartholomew admitted, gesturing to the direction he ran. "It's a rare day for Lipscum."

"Yeah. I think I'll join Lippy on this one...when he inevitably screws it up." Scuzzo said, pulling a unicycle out from nowhere and riding off.

"...I'll think of something." The typical cartoon villain said, flying off after them.

"...meeting dismissed, I guess…" An annoyed Mr Big said, banging the handle of his pistol like a gavel before the rest of the SNOTRAGs departed to enact their own plans.

* * *

Meanwhile, most of the Loud family was just enjoying the ride as the Doomie Bus zoomed along the highway. Luna and Lincoln were especially loving the feeling of the wind in their hair and faces. "Dudes, this is so cool!" The rock and roll sister cheered.

"I know. Makes me want to get a convertible when I can drive." Lincoln called out.

"I hear that!"

"This place is so beautiful...in a weird kind of way." Leni commented, looking out at the purplish sky.

"The NeitherWorld in a nutshell...mostly." Lydia said with a giggle. The white haired boy smiled at her as he put an arm around her, his hand on her shoulder. The two of them blushed lightly, smiling to one another. A couple minutes later, the double deck Doomie pulls to a stop right in front of the NeitherWold's number one shopping center. Lori had to admit that, at first glance, the Shocking Mall didn't seem like anything to worry about after all. Yeah, the sign had electricity arcing off it, but otherwise, it looked like any other mall back in the living world.

"All ashore who's going ashore!" The eldest sister called out as she corralled her younger sisters out of the bus, leaving only Linc and Lydia as the only passengers. This gave the ghostly roadster the chance to convert back to normal. Once Lori had done a head count to make sure everyone (minus Lynn, Lana, Luan and Lily) were present, she turned to the young couple. "Alright. You two have fun in the city. Just be careful." She told them, giving Lincoln a small hug.

"Don't worry, Lori. We'll be alright." Lincoln said, hugging her as well.

"I'm sure you will." She said. "We'll all meet back up for dinner, before we head back home. Luan and Beetlejuice should be done by then."

"Sounds good. See you all later." Lydia said, waving to the Loud sisters along with the one son before BJ's roadster drove off. The six young ladies waved back until Doomie was out of sight and they made their way to the entrance of the mall. Most of them moved with haste from under the sparking sign, while Leni strolling leisurely past it and Lisa paused for a moment to take a few notes on it. Fortunately, Lori pulled her into the building just as an arc nearly struck the toddler.

"Well, now that we're here, what should we do first?" Luna asked, looking around at all the stores in the multi level shopping complex. The ghoulish patrons of the mall gave them all some very strange looks as they walked through the atrium.

"I'm not sure." The oldest of the sisters commented, looking back at one of the ghosts who looked at her funny with an odd look of her own. "I guess we can just browse for a while and look into stores that look interesting, since we don't know what this mall has."

"I can give ya a couple recommendations." Ginger said as she skittered ahead of the human girls. "But first things first, the shoe store."

"Oh! I could use some new pumps!" Leni chirped.

"And I suppose it couldn't hurt to see what they have in child sized heels." Lola commented. "May give me an edge, having nice shoes no one else can get."

"Lead the way, Ginger." The oldest of the sisters said, the seven sisters following the tap dancing spider through the mall. As they walked, they passed by shops with very odd names: Gloomingdale, with everything in being depressing shades of blue and/or gray. There was even a rain cloud inside it. Bonestrom, which seemed to be the one stop store for skeletons. Just Claws, a nail salon for monsters and witches. Foot Locker, a store for the undead with missing feet.

"Now this is my kind of mall…" Lucy commented in wonder.

"It's so weird…" Lola whispered to her musically inclined older sister.

"I imagine we look mighty odd to them." She whispered back, only to hear a few old witches speak in hushed voices how adorable Lucy looked. "...well, most of us."

"Here we are!" Ginger declared as they stopped in front of a little business called Sole Source.

"We'll wait out here while you three get what you need in there." Lori told her two younger sisters and the pink spider as they entered the shoe establishment.

"Actually, I think I'm going to check that store out while we wait." The little goth said, pointing toward Lydia's Spooky Boutique.

"Dudes...that's Lydia's place." Luna said in surprise.

"I didn't think she really meant it was a real business." The oldest sister said, sounding amazed. Curious, she took Lucy over to check it out, leaving Luna to keep watch over Lisa.

* * *

"Ah. That's much better." Ginger said after dancing a few test steps in her new little tap shoes, a sharp clack sounding with each step. "I'll take them." She said to the devil like salesman hovering by her.

"Hmmm...I don't know…" Leni said as she looked down at the pair of shoes with air pumps attached being shown to her by the diabolic store employee before her. "It's not quite what I meant, and definitely not my color…"

"Ah. A more discerning customer. I should have known by your dress." He said, which made the dim blonde blush, quite flattered. "Well, perhaps one of your tastes would like a nice pair of go-go boots." He suggested, holding up a pair of deep blue shin high boots.

"Ooo! I like those!" She said, taking the boots in hand to look them over closer. "May I try them on?"

"But of course." He directed her over to a nearby bench to try the boots on, right when Lola gently tugged on his shirt.

"Excuse me, mister. Do you have anything in the way of children's heels?" The pageant participant asked, trying to look more adorable than usual.

"Right this way, young miss." The devilish man responded, gesturing toward a nearby window. "Just pick any two you like." The little blonde firecracker blinked before walking over to look in the window. Through the glass was a small group of child sized monster wrestlers, each one fighting one another in the dirtiest, most unfair manner possible. She just stared for a moment before looking away.

"I...don't think those will work for me...how about some flats?" She asked, somewhat nervously.

"Wrong cartoon for Flats, kid." He responded nonchalantly. Little Lola's mind seemed to crash for a moment, but she recovered quick enough, thinking she was would try one more time.

"...I almost hate to ask...but do you perhaps have any heels my size that aren't wrestlers?"

"Well, we do have a few itty bitty stiletto heels." He answered before he disappeared in a puff of fire. He returned seconds later carrying a box in his hand, making the short tempered short stack jump in shock. She looked into the box, seeing some very nice heels...with very sharp knives for heels. She looked at them with a contemplative expression.

"...teeeempting. But I don't think Mom and Dad would approve." She finally said. "So I think I'm good...for now…"

"Suit yourself, little miss." The demonic salesperson replied, leaving the box on the counter as Leni returned. "Why, doesn't that look grand on you?"

"And they're so comfy too. I'll take them." The second oldest sister declared, walking around in circles.

"Wonderful." The shoe shop clerk said, enchanting the register to ring up Leni's new boots. Oddly, she was still walking in place as she paid for her new footwear.

"Er...you know you don't need to keep walking, right Leni?" Her younger sister asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Actually, she does. She bought go go boots." Ginger spoke up.

"Which means the little lady ain't gonna stop moving till WE get tired! And you can't take us off either!" The boots suddenly said, in a crude, harsh voice. Hearing them speak seriously spooked the two Louds, but Leni was able to recover fairly quickly.

"Oh well." She said with a shrug and smile. "Shoes can be pretty disagreeable until you've broken them in, and we've got plenty of mall to cover."

* * *

Meanwhile, Lori and Lucy found themselves surrounded by what could only be described as a goth's paradise. Clothes, accessories, bags, even makeup, all with a gothic or macabre theme. Bat wings, spider webs, skulls, ghost, ravens: it was almost an overload for little Lucy. Lori, on the other hand, was intrigued, if a little weirded out. She respected the fact her little sister chose this lifestyle, but she didn't get it at all. That said, she saw this as an opportunity. The little witch to be had a birthday coming up and, though she wasn't hard to shop for, it was possibly the last time she'd be present for her birthday in a long time. She wanted her gift to her to be really spectacular. So while Lucy was looking through spooky jewelry, the oldest of the kids slipped away, looking through the dresses and gowns designed by Lydia. 'Hmmm. I wonder where all the employees are.' The seventeen year old lady thought to herself as she noticed that, while the store was being patronized, there wasn't a store associate to be seen. "Is...there anyone who can help me here?"

"Afraid not, young miss." An elderly vampire with very pale blue skin spoke up from behind her, making her squeal with fright. "Hehehe. Haven't lost the touch."

"...sorry, sir…" Lori apologized after her heart stopped racing and she turned to see the toothless old nosferatu standing there. "You just startled me…"

"Oh, don't you worry, little lady." He said, waving off her apology. "Anyway, there never were employees here. This place is run by Beetlejuice's magic."

"I see...I was kind of hoping to get some advice…" The phone enthusiast glanced around for a moment before whispering. "I'm looking for a birthday present for my little sister...I want to get her something really nice, but I'm kind of out of my element here."

"Hmmm. What's she like?" The old bloodsucker asked, stroking his wrinkled chin as he thought. Lori looked over to the little goth, who was trying a spider necklace on for size with a big smile. The vampire followed the human girl's gaze and smiled. "Aww. She reminds me of my own granddaughter. I think I know what she might like." He shuffled forward, sifting through the rack of dresses alongside Lori, who looked over at Lucy to make sure she was distracted. After a couple seconds, the undead geriatric found a blood red and black ballroom gown, with a bat wing collar. By Lori's eye, it looked like it would be a little big on her little sister, but in a year or two, she would grow right into it.

"That's perfect. All of her favorite colors." The oldest sister said with a big smile. "And she can wear it for the next couple years too. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome, young lady." The old vampire replied with a chuckle before he hobbled away. Lucy looked about done with the accessories, so she needed to move quick. She rushed to the unmanned register and hastily swiped her credit card. The moment she did, she realized that her card might not even work here. To her great surprise, however, it went through without issue, her purchase tucked away in a big shopping back as if by an invisible person. As soon as it was safely hidden away, Lucy came up to the counter with her spider necklace.

"Found something you liked?" The lover of the macabre inquired in a deadpan tone.

"Yep." Lori replied simply. "Looks like you did too. Just make sure you don't show it to Leni."

"Good idea." The eight year old said before she made her purchase, her money going into the overpacked register on it's own.

* * *

Out in the corridor, Luna was tuning her guitar and leisurely playing a few bars for something to do, while Lisa occasionally questioned some of the passersby about the NeitherWorld. For the most part, mall patrons gave the toddler a wide berth, thinking she was an annoying survey person. On the other hand, a few mall wanderers threw a few cents at Luna's feet, thinking she was playing for money. "Not really necessary, dudes, but much obliged." She called out to the most recent donator. It was at that point Leni, Lola and Ginger emerged from the Sole Source. followed closely by Lori and Lucy. "Whoa. That's timing."

"You're telling me." Lori said with a chuckle, moving over to her roommate to show her what she got, while Lucy showed her latest acquisition to Luna and Lisa.

"Lori, that's beautiful!" Leni chirped with wide, sparkly eyes, still walking in place.

"Thanks." She replied, looking down at her sister's unusual, forced locomotion. "Uh...why are you moving like that?"

"Go go boots." The kindly sister said simply.

"...of course." She responded, not wishing to pursue this inquiry any further.

"That's a nice piece there, Luce." The rock and roll sister said, smiling at her little sister.

"Indeed. It suits you quite well in addition." Lisa agreed. "It's quite realistic as well. You may want to be careful around Leni."

"Naturally." The raven haired young lady concurred. Just then, they heard a clap of thunder. Not that strange; the weather could have changed while they were browsing and shopping. But this sound came from inside the mall. The girls all looked in the direction of the sound and saw a thin, green skinned man with shaggy black hair emerging from Gloomingdale. He was a little taller than Lydia, and wore a black and dark gray suit. He was oddly handsome for a possibly dead man, and wore a little crown on his head. He was flanked by a pair of burly, hunchbacked guards, and followed by a storm cloud. He had a shopping bag in his hand and a frown on his face.

"...nothing like shopping at my favorite store to dim my mood." He said in a melancholy manner.

"Who's that guy?" Lola asked Ginger, rather intrigued by this regal looking downer.

"That's Prince Vince, ruler of this neck of the NeitherWorld." She explained, though she whispered. "He doesn't really do a lot, but he does have a lot of authority." She followed up in a normal voice. "Nice guy, though.A real good friend of Lydia and BJ's."

"Oh yeah. I remember Lydia bringing him up some time ago." Lucy commented. Hearing Lydia's name mentioned got the attention of the undead prince, turning his head toward the group of Louds and the pink spider. A faint smile appeared on his face as he strolled over to them.

"Good day, Ginger." He said to her, in a soft and still somewhat gloomy voice.

"Hello, your highness." She responded, bowing lightly to him. The Loud children also bowed their heads to him, with Leni and Lola curtseying to him.

"Who might I ask are your friends?"

"We're the Louds, your highness." Lola said, stepping forward, in her best princess tone. "Allow me to introduce us. I'm Lola Loud, and these are my sisters: Lori, Leni, Luna, Lucy and Lisa." She continued, indicating each of her sisters in turn.

"A pleasure to meet you all." The NeitherWorld prince said of the six human girls.

"Likewise, Prince Vince. I've heard about you from Lydia." Lucy responded with a small smile.

"Oh? You know Lydia? Is she around?" He asked, looking around at the nearby stores.

"Oh no. She's out with our brother." Leni said, followed by "Her boyfriend" before Lucy or Ginger could try and stop her. When Prince Vince heard that, he looked thunderstruck for a moment, before a deep look of depression appeared on his face, the rain cloud pouring even harder. "Oh...did I say something wrong…?"

"What was your first clue…?" Lola grumbled under her breath, glaring at her older sister.

"No. No, Miss Loud. You didn't say anything wrong." Vince said, shaking his head to her.

"Are you sure…? You look so sad…" She pointed out, her

"I always look sad, Miss Loud…"

"Please, call me Leni."

"As you wish, Leni...but as I said, I always look sad." The undead prince repeated himself.

"Maybe so, but I believe that she was referring to how you reacted when you heard that our brother and Lydia were romantically involved." Lisa elaborated upon, making Ginger and Lucy wince again.

"It's...because Prince Vince fancied Lydia for a long time…" The tap dancing spider explained, though she was worried how the NeitherWorld Prince would react to that.

"She speaks the truth." Vince confirmed, thunder sounding off as lightning sliced through the air. "I longed to have Lydia's hand. To have her rule over the NeitherWorld by my side, yet it appears it was not meant to be." He continued, looking down at the tiled floor below him, his eyes closed.

"Oh, Prince Vince...I'm so sorry…" Lola said sympathetically, taking his hand and gently pat the back of it, not paying any mind to the eye patch laden guards who were glaring at her. She had to stand back a little, so's not to get caught in the rain.

"Oh no...it's...it's fine, Miss Lola." The ever glum young ghoul responded to her after a moment. "It's not the first time I was turned down, as Lydia said she wasn't ready to become a princess. And it doesn't prevent us from being friends either way, does it?"

"Exactly, your highness." Lori with a soft smile.

"So, would this be your first time here in the NeitherWorld?" He asked, desiring to change the subject.

"Sure enough, Prince Vince." The third oldest of the siblings responded.

"What brings you, may I ask?"

"It's kind of a long story. The short version is it involves our incorrigible practical joker sister, Luan, Beetlejuice, and April Fools Day." The official leader of the Loud kids told him.

"Ah. Don't blame you on that one." One of the gruff looking bodyguards responded, shuddering in horror. "Beetlejuice alone would be reason enough to steer clear."

"Well, if you would like to see the NeitherWorld, I would be more than happy to show you all around." Vince offered politely, a very small smile returning to his face.

"I'd love to." Lola responded cheerfully, while thinking 'Spending time with a REAL PRINCE! EEEEEEEEE!'

"Thank you, your highness, but I think most of us would like to explore the mall some more." Her oldest sister replied, which brought the pageant princess back down like she were tied to an anvil. She knew that Lori wouldn't let her go with Prince Vince without one of their older sisters going with her. Before she could start pleading with them, Luna spoke up.

"Actually, if it's cool with you guys, I think I'll take his majesty up on his offer." She said.

"Oh? Well, if you like, it's up to you." Lori said. In the blink of an eye, the prissy twin ran over to Luna and hugged her tightly around her waist. They were all a little confused, but it was sweet nonetheless, and the guitar savvy teen hugged her back. The two groups of girls bid each other goodbye, with Luna, Lola and Lucy heading off with the NeitherWorld prince, while Lori, Leni and Lisa remained at the mall. The gothic eight year old kind of smirked as she followed the group leaving the mall, looking back to make sure someone was watching her leave. To her fortune, Ginger and Lisa did indeed see her. However, she didn't intend to go on the tour. She had her own plans while she was in the hereafter. She knew her plan was risky, both if she caught by her family and the fact she was going solo, but it was a risk she was willing to take...to see her Great Grandmother Harriet.


	20. Chapter 20

_AN: In answer to your question, DragonEmperor, Lipscum is pretty much the annoying tagalong you see in a great many cartoons. You know, the little kid following everyone else going "Can I come too? Huh? Can I can I can I?". Whether it's the team of BJ's arch enemies known as SNOTRAG, or even Beetlejuice himself, Lipscum wants to be included. He's not much of a threat, but does manage the occasional successful bit of mischief, like when he nearly stole the proceeds from Beetlejuice's Smell-a-thon, or (as he mentioned himself) when he tricked BJ into saying "I'm coming apart at the seams" as part of SNOTRAG's master plan to get rid of him._

* * *

Lucy

"Alright...how exactly am I going to go about this?" Bartholomew Bat wondered quietly, sitting at the counter of a diner, a cup of cough-ee sitting beside him. He was looking through the folder with the profiles of the Loud family, a frown on his face as he tapped his fingers on the counter. "We need to keep Beetle-Brain out of the NeitherWorld...and this family is the key to that. However, with so many of them, if they really are here, I don't think any one of us could do anything with them...at least, not while they're together. I'd need to get them separated and pick one of them off...but how?" He picked up his cup, waited for the liquid inside to stop coughing, then took a sip.

"Do you happen to have blood sausage?" Lucy asked the headless waitress, whose head was resting on the counter.

"Of course, sweetie," She replied with a bright smile. "It comes with eggs and toast. How would you like them?"

"I'll just have the sausage, thank you. To go, please," The young goth replied, taking a seat not far from the cartoon bat person.

"Blood sausage, eh? You got good taste, kid," Bartholomew told her, not looking away from the folder.

"Thanks," She turned to look at the one who had spoken. "...you're a bat."

"Not just any bat," He responded, closing the file and turning to face her. "Names Bartholomew Bat, one of the greatest cartoon villains."

"You're a cartoon character?"

"Yeah...you mean, you never heard of me?" The bat man asked, looking somewhat downcast.

"I'm not much of a cartoon person, plus this is my first visit to the NeitherWorld," Lucy answered in her usual monotone.

"Oh. Well, that makes sense then," He said, a bit more relieved, turning back to his own cup. "So, how'd it happen to you?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"How did you die?" He asked again.

"I'm not dead." She answered simply.

"Really? You look dead." Bartholomew told her, looking at her from the corner of his eye.

"Thank you." The little goth said, taking that for a compliment. Meanwhile, their conversation seemed to have attracted the attention of someone near the front entrance of the diner: a small person covered with a hood and cloak turned slightly, listening in as the goth girl and the cartoon villain spoke.

"So, what're you doing here?" The fancy dressed cartoon bat inquired.

"Just visiting with my family." She answered vaguely. She wasn't foolish enough to tell a complete stranger she was currently exploring the NeitherWorld all by herself. Bartholomew's ears twitched when he heard that.

'Visiting with family?' He turned to look at Lucy again as she collected her to go container and paid, then hastily looked into the folder. 'She's one of them! She's one of the livies who crossed over!' A big, toothy grin appeared on his face, which was hidden by the folder. He watched as Lucy left the diner, just like the hooded spirit by the door.

"A little snack and I'll be ready to begin my search." The eight year old lover of the occult said quietly to herself as she emerged from the diner.

"That's what you think!" Lucy blinked and turned to see Ginger standing beside her, hands on her hips and a stern expression on her face.

"Ginger? What are you doing here?"

"I followed you, and for good reason!" The pink spider started waving her finger at her while scolding her. "Lucy, what are you thinking, going off without yer sisters!? The NeitherWorld is a dangerous place fer the living, especially fer a little kid like you!"

"My apologies, Ginger, but I need to find my Great Grandmother Harriet." She answered flatly.

"Not all by yerself, you're not," Ginger told her firmly. Lucy looked down at the little spider, the gears turning in her head before a tiny smile appeared on her face.

"Then perhaps you could accompany me," She suggested. "Lincoln told me about how you handled that big hairy monster when he first came to the NeitherWorld. He said you were incredible."

"Huh? He did?" Ginger asked in utter surprise, thrown off her game.

"He did. And if you can handle that guy, you could handle pretty much anything, right?" The gothic Loud asked her, trying to butter her up even more.

"Oh, well, it's all a matter of having confidence and letting them know yer not afraid. Doesn't hurt he's a friend of mine." Ginger said with a soft chuckle and smile.

"And those perfect teeth...I bet you give one heck of a bite."

"Hehehe. I don't like to brag, but kinda," The spider said with a giggle. "I'm a practicing kick boxer too," She added, showing off a few moves to Lucy, whose smile grew.

'Got her,' She thought to herself, before saying aloud, "Very impressive. With you with me, I'd be perfectly safe."

"Weeeeeell...ok. So, where can we find your Great Grandmother?" The eight year old aspiring witch flinched at this. Lucky for her, her hair covered her eyes, so Ginger couldn't see the panic in them.

"I know the way to her usual haunts...no pun intended. Climb aboard." She patted her shoulder. "I'll lead the way." This was a major bluff, but it seemed the pink spider bought it, climbing up to rest on Lucy's shoulder. As soon as the goth girl left, Bartholomew emerged from the diner, grinning ear to ear.

"So...the little girl is all by her lonesome, trying to find her way to Granny's House," He exposited as he snickered cruelly. "Well, she better be careful, because this city is the stomping ground of the Big Bad Bat. I'll take her prisoner and, through her, get Beetlejuice to swear to stay out of the hereafter forevermore." He was about to swoop off into the shadows when he paused and scratched his head with a finger as he wondered "Why do I keep stateing my plans out loud when no one is around?" He shrugged after a few seconds and faded into the darkness. Meanwhile, the cloaked figure had heard the whole thing from the door.

"Typical cartoon villain behavior...Under normal circumstances involving that punk Beetlejuice, I wouldn't give a bat's behind," An elderly woman's voice said as she left some money on her table. "...but threatening a little girl...that's not going to stand with me. Looks like I'll have to get personally involved…"

* * *

A few minutes later, Lucy is strolling down Slime Boulevard, trying to make it look like she knew where she was going as she passed by the undead citizens of the city. Up ahead, Bartholomew was painting a big, red X on the sidewalk. He grinned as he looked up at a large cage suspended over the X before creeping into the nearest alley. He was snickering as he waited when he heard a voice ask from right behind him "What are you up to, Bartholomew?" He stopped and turned his head. Lucy was standing right there behind him. He gave a yelp of shock and surprise, stumbling forward out of the alley. He landed right on top of the X, which caused the cage to fall right on top of him. He looked up at his predicament and frowned, steam rising from his head just as Lucy and Ginger came wandering up.

"Hello again." She deadpanned as she walked around the bat in the cage. The bat man shook his head in disbelief, looking at the little girl, then down the alleyway. He took off his glasses, quickly polished them with a rag (his pupils disappearing in the process), then put them back on again for another look. He didn't understand what just happened, but one thing was certain: he wasn't giving up yet.

* * *

The two came upon a store called Hazel's Pantry; a sizable grocery store for the discerning witch in need of quality ingredients, reagents, witchcraft equipment, and cat food (at least, that's what Ginger told her). This seemed a likely place to find Harriet in her greatest admirer's eyes. However, when she stepped into the shop, she immediately became aware of how big it was on the inside: it was like a warehouse packed to the brim with shelves upon shelves of everything a witch could need to work her magic. Finding her Great Grandmother wouldn't be easy in here. Fortunately, Ginger could see an employee up ahead sweeping around the herb section. "Excuse me." The tap dancing spider said, trying to get the worker's attention. When he turned, it was a bat in a tall pointed hat, a white shirt, black pants and shoes, a black apron, and a big old mustache.

"Good day. How may I help you today?" He asked in a youthful, high pitched voice.

"Have you seen a witch named Harriet around here today?"

"Why yes. I believe she went into the back, for the good stuff," He told them, gesturing toward the back warehouse.

"Thank you." Lucy gave a small nod of her head along with her thanks as she and Ginger headed for the backroom. Once they were out of sight, he smirked toward the fourth wall and pulled off his mustache, revealing himself to be Bartholomew. He winked to the viewers as he pulled a net from behind his back and slunk into the stock room. If the main store was packed, the backroom was a literal maze. As a result, Lucy and Ginger were wandering about utterly lost. As the two meandered between a palette of cauldrons and a palette of cat food, the bat fiend tip toed his way over, a maniacal grin on his face. However, when he got there, not only were Lucy and her arachnid friend gone, but he spotted the goth girl clear on the other side of the warehouse. He blinked and quietly ran in that direction to investigate.

"She's not over here...maybe she's over by the staves." Bartholomew skidded to a stop. That sounded like the eight year old aspiring witch, but it was coming from behind him. He turned around just in time to see a brief glimpse of the child and the spider.

'That can't be right...she was right over th-' He looked back to where he had been headed, but there was no one there. Three question marks popped up over the bat ghost's head before he went to go see where Lucy had gone. However, when he got there, there was no sign of her by the staves.

"Looking for someone?" Bartholomew screeched in fear, jumping forward and clutching his chest.

"What're ya trying to do? Give a vampire bat a heart attack!?" He snapped, turning to face Lucy, breathing heavily. "...Wait...how are you doing that?"

"Doing what?" The raven haired spiritualist asked with a slightly slanted head.

"You were over there…" He pointed to where he had thought he saw her before. "...then I saw you walk over yonder…" He turned his whole body to point toward the wooden magical walking sticks. "...and now you're-" He turned back around to look at...nothing. She was gone again. The cartoon bat's eye started to twitch. This went on for another ten minutes, with Bartholomew chasing after the fifth youngest of the sisters at one place, only to see her someplace else, go after her there, and see her someplace entirely different. It was driving him battier than usual, to the point where he almost didn't notice that she and Ginger had left the warehouse.

* * *

After they had abandoned Hazel's Pantry, Lucy told her eight legged guardian that the next place they could try to find her was a fair distance away (mostly to give herself time to think of where to go), so she rented a bicycle to get them around faster. The young goth's mind raced as she pedalled through the NeitherWorld, nearly having a panic attack when she saw her brother and Lydia across the street. Fortunately, it looked like they hadn't seen her. "Where did you say we was headed again?" Ginger asked as she rode in the front basket of the bike.

"Oh...uh...we're looking for a popular witch's club," Lucy fibbed as she kept on pedalling.

"Oh! I know where that is. Turn right down this side street. It'll get us there a little faster" Ginger pointed at a small one way road just ahead.

'How lucky can I get?' The girl in black thought, sighing with relief. From up on the rooftops, Bartholomew was watching them as they rolled along. He had a toothy smirk on his face as he dashed and glided along the rooftops to get ahead of them, landing on the other side of the way, where the road curved to the right. From his cape, he pulled out a large paint can labeled 'Tunnel Paint'. He quickly popped it open and hastily painted what looked like a tunnel through the building before him against the wall. He snickered to himself as he hid the paint can, and then himself, in a trash can nearby.

"Alright. We're gonna need to go around this-oh. Wait. No we don't," Ginger said as she spotted the newly painted tunnel. "Looks like someone put in a tunnel here. Isn't that convenient?" She added with a smile. Bartholomew had to cover his mouth to hide his guffaws as he heard the bike approach. Closer...closer...closer…further? He blinked, his laughter dying almost immediately. The black and white cartoon fiend poked his head out of the can and what he saw made his eyes pop out of his head. Lucy had ridden her bike all the way through the tunnel. Now he was getting fed up. He sprang out of the tin can, backed up for a running start, then surged forward right at his own creation. He ran as fast as he could until SLAM! He ran right into the solid brick wall, flattened like a pancake. Watching him as he peeled himself off the wall, 'Lucy' snickered behind her hand as she snapped her fingers. A car horn suddenly blared, snapping the bat man out of his daze. Reflexively, he leapt out of the path of the tunnel.

"Ha!" He laughed, looking quite smug right before he was run over from behind by a NeitherWorld Taxi. He had forgotten that there was another road there; another road that he was now kissing as little batties flew around his head.

* * *

"Alright, Lucy. You might want to wait right here." Ginger said as they came to a stop outside a building that was shaped like a giant witch's cauldron, complete with something bubbling and steaming up top. The sign over the door said 'Toil and Trouble Club'. "I don't think kids, even witch kids, are allowed in here. I'll just pop in and ask anyone if a witch named Harriet is in, or has been in recently."

"Understood," Lucy answered flatly, standing with her arms behind her back on the sidewalk. While the little girl in black waited patiently for the tap dancing spider to make inquiries inside, Bartholomew was leering at her from the rooftop of the office building opposite to the Toil and Trouble Club. He had steam billowing from his pointed ears. Enough was enough. He was going to get this kid if it killed him again. He spread his wings and jumped over the edge, diving toward her like a hawk, his bloodshot eyes locked on her. As a result, he never saw the rope tied to his coat tail. A rope tied to a large, heavy, cast iron cauldron, and a smirking 'Lucy' supervising this all go down from the sideline. Bartholomew was mere inches from the supernatural savvy sister, who had her back to him, when he came to a sudden stop, causing him to jerk forward before swinging back and impacting the wall of the office building. He groaned in pain for a moment, taking a single step from the wall before a horseshoe hit him on the head. Then another. Then two more. Each one left a big black lump on his head, causing him to stagger around a little...just before a horse landed right on top of him. The very confused steed just whinnied before trotting off, leaving the battered bat to scrape himself off the pavement.

"...see you at the races…" He moaned in confusion as he reeled in place before looking up. His pupils suddenly shrank as he spotted something alarming. He pulled out a little umbrella and held it up over his head seconds before he was crushed by the cauldron. Hearing the clang of the iron and crack of cement got Lucy's attention. She spotted the large metal pot in a crater it created in the sidewalk. After making sure the road was clear, she ran over to help the flattened bat get the cauldron off him.

"Bartholomew? Are you alright?" She asked in concern as the villain reinflated himself and took a moment to regain his senses. He took one look at the goth girl and screamed.

"Get away from me!" He screamed, jumping back away from her in terror. It was around this time Ginger had stepped outside of the witch's club, bearing witness to this strange scene from across the street.

"Is something wrong?"

"Stay back!" He held his arms out between him and the confused child. "I don't want anything to do with you! I don't even want to kidnap you anymore!"

"Kidnap her!?" Ginger gasped as she legged it over beside Lucy.

"Kidnap me?"

"Everytime I even went near you, it was nothing but pain, frustration and misery! It's not worth it! I'd rather deal with Beetle-Brain!" He screeched before he flew off like a bat out of hell, leaving an incredibly confused Lucy and Ginger behind.

"Now, what was that all about?" The goth child inquired, scratching her head.

"Oh, I think he's just gotten a bad case of karma, dear," A voice behind them had responded with a soft chortle. The lover of the macabre and the pink spider both turned to see an exact copy of Lucy standing right behind them.

"Huh? You never told me you were twins, Lucy."

"I'm not," Lucy told her, a smile starting to come to her face. Right before their eyes, the child before them seemed to age until she looked like an elderly version of the young goth. A tear trickled down from under her hair. "...Great Grandmother Harriet…"

"In the flesh, dear...so to speak. Now get over here." Harriet said as she held her arms wide open. Without hesitation, Lucy ran in and gave her a big hug, her gothic image completely forgotten.

"Great Grandmother, it's wonderful to see you in person...I've missed you."

"And I've missed you too, Lucy dear. You and all my great grandchildren," She said softly, embracing the eight year old for a couple seconds before holding her at arm's length, a serious expression on her face. "Now, you tell me what you were thinking, coming to the afterlife all by your lonesome and looking for me without someone to watch over you…" Lucy felt a twinge of guilt, with just a hint of fear.

"I...I didn't come alone...I came here with my sisters, my brother, and his girlfriend…"

"Ah...Lincoln and his girlfriend. I have questions about that," The elderly witch said with a bit of a grin, but her disapproving scowl returned in a flash. "But first things first. Ok, you came here with them, but what made you think it was a smart notion to go galavanting around the NeitherWorld without them!?"

"...Ginger came with me." Lucy answered, somewhat pathetically.

"Oh, because a spider can do so much…" Harriet replied sarcastically before looking toward the dancing spider. "...no offense intended, of course, Ginger…" She added in her soft, sweet voice. "...but you have to admit, with your size, what you could do is limited, should someone more threatening than Bartholomew have had dastardly designs for my great granddaughter."

"Uh...none taken, ma'am…

"And anyway, Lucy, not telling your siblings where you had gone...wandering around the NeitherWorld without a clue and hardly any protection...talking to strangers...you were raised with more sense than that." With each point in her deceased great grandmother's angry rant, Lucy flinched more and more, her tears now less of joy and more of sadness. Once the seasoned witch finished her tirade and took a few deep breaths, she placed a hand gently on the vampire lover's shoulder and her voice became calmer. "...I'm not saying I'm not happy to see you, dear. I am. Over the moon about it, because I care deeply about you. But that's why I'm so upset with you too. If I hadn't done my stuff to keep that whacko bat off your case, I don't even want to think what could have happened to you."

"I'm sorry, Great Grandmother Harriet...I just wanted to find you so bad, I wasn't thinking…"

"Apology accepted, dear. Now, how about you, Ginger and I start on our way back to...wherever you left your family? It would be grand to see them all again in person."

"Of course," Lucy replied, in a more happy deadpan than usual, taking her favorite relative by the hand before walking off with her and the tap dancing spider.

"Lovely...oh, and Lucy." The raven haired child turned to look at Harriet. "When you get back home, you're grounded. A whole month," She informed her, simply and sharply.

"...should have seen that coming. Sigh."

"Indeed you should have," Harriet agreed with a firm nod, followed by the sly grin from earlier. "But enough serious business for now...what's the story on the young lady Lincoln is dating?" Hearing this brought a smile back to the face of the young goth girl.

"Her name is Lydia Deetz," Lucy started to explain to her Great Grandmother. "A year or two older than Lincoln, but a really nice girl."

"Lydia, eh? I've heard of her. Some of the residents around here seem quite fond of her, though I've yet to have the pleasure of meeting her. About the only bad thing they had to say of her was the company she kept…"

"Well, I honestly believe Beetlejuice isn't so bad once you get to know him...though I do prefer Lydia's company over his," Lucy said in the pranking poltergeist's defense.

"Oh yes...Lincoln and the beetle breathed hooligan are bound, aren't they?" Harriet inquired sadly, to which the VOM fan nodded once. "A terrible thing to happen to such a nice boy…"

"Lincoln is getting used to it. In fact, he's even learning to cooperate with Beetlejuice...but I digress. We were talking about Lydia. Well, she's a goth, much like myself, albeit not quite as much as I am. And she's seriously talented…" As they continued to walk through the city, Harriet listened with patience and great interest. The more she heard from Lucy, the more she knew she had to meet this Lydia, as well as see Lincoln and congratulate him for courting such a wonderful sounding girl.


End file.
